Lapbunny's recent activity

  1. Comment on Living day to day with the weight of existing in ~talk

    Lapbunny
    (edited )
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    The "wasting my existence when I am consuming media" part jumped out to me. Sorry if I'm stealing the blog from you in this post, I feel like this flashed the past 8 months or so for me and...

    The "wasting my existence when I am consuming media" part jumped out to me. Sorry if I'm stealing the blog from you in this post, I feel like this flashed the past 8 months or so for me and hopefully my thought process helps somewhere along the way.

    A little over half a year ago I was trying to learn some AWS in response to instability at my job. I wasn't sticking to the self-guided lessons at night, and in general I found I wasn't able to focus even on just some fun things like games; I was pretty down over it, and I'd had some periods in my life before, so I didn't want to get trapped in it again. I found a therapist, thankfully the first one I'd really call good in my life.

    I'm lying to bury the lede here - I went to therapy first to figure out some grounding stuff, because I had my first three month-old child in the house and I was getting really riled up when I wasn't doing a good job at that... He and I both evened out when his sleep got in line around month five. But once my wife and I finally got free time back in our lives, then I was having a ton of trouble paying attention at night. Which I was still stressed me out, and the things that typically cheered me up weren't, which stressing me out... It was rough. I have ADHD and SAD, so I asked my therapist what to do, from the perspective of things like focus techniques.

    After talking it over with her, for some reason it didn't occur to me that, y'know, I'm a new parent? I've got a shitload going on? Internally this didn't line up; I was just thinking - not even thinking, feeling - things like. "This time is precious." "I can't believe I didn't get anything done tonight." "Why am I not enjoying this?" Everything I was thinking was completely fuckin setting myself up for failure, and it was so obvious from how I talked about it, but I just did not hear it until it was parroted back. I can't even recall the conversation that flipped the switch, but something she said made me realize just how damn hard I've been on myself about this part of my life despite having a newborn in the house. It sounds like the "stop doing that" doctor joke thinking about how immediate the change was in my attitude, but it really felt like one sentence later a balloon in my chest deflated. That weight you talk about was completely gone once I reframed it to "you have a kid now, chill out and let yourself be tired." That snowballed into realizing I'd been like this my whole life.

    I started keeping a log of what I did every night after that point, and instead of being critical about what was in it I just accepted whatever was in there as good. It lasted a week, and it was basically just noting that I played video games, hung out with people, and once I just said I "rested". I stopped tracking it after a week because I stopped feeling such a cloud over myself at night. Just yesterday I felt the negativity bubbling up again about not getting anything done; I immediately reminded myself that gets me nowhere. Instead I just went to sleep early, and I feel no regret about having done that. Tonight - even after work, the baby, and a weird improv mess of a roast took up most of the day and night - I practiced both guitar and bass, I played some motherfuckin Pokemon, and I just watched anime of my own volition for the first time in years. I'm happy, and if I don't get that level of productivity tomorrow that's a-okay. I'm just ecstatic to call that all productivity now.

    This is the module for reflecting on self-criticism and self-compassion which she sent to help hammer it in, even if sounds kind of obvious surface-level reading through it. Maybe it'll help. But whether that's the root problem for you I'm not sure - from what you're telling us, you have a positive view of your life. I did too, though, I just didn't give myself the space to relax in it or notice the things like calling media consumption "wasting your existence." I think part of why I'm writing this out is, there may be some kind of negative pattern here that neither you nor I can see or really unearth without a constant back-and-forth. My wife is a therapist, and she jokes that it's odd that therapy is like surgery where you can't do it on yourself; part of that, I think, is we can't see our own blind spots when we're us. You may want to find a good therapist who can maybe pick that out for you.

    8 votes
  2. Comment on What's a "house rule" that has made a game more fun for you? in ~games

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    Yeah, Cards is good for this. We have: When you draw your black card, you select two and pick the one you like better. You can discard one of your trophy black cards to discard any number of cards...

    Yeah, Cards is good for this. We have:

    • When you draw your black card, you select two and pick the one you like better.

    • You can discard one of your trophy black cards to discard any number of cards in your hand and draw back up to 10.

    • If you straight-up don't understand a white card, you're allowed to SHAME! it. You read it out loud, we all either rib on the person who doesn't get it or are collectively like "wow that's stupid", then they discard it and draw another.

    Making awkward or situationally-funny white cards is part of the fun IMO, but sometimes you need just a bit of flexibility so you're not looking at the same mitt of bad stuff the whole game.

    4 votes
  3. Comment on What's a "house rule" that has made a game more fun for you? in ~games

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    Nah, any resource of your choosing on #5 if five people go in a row and you don't get any resources out of any of them.

    Nah, any resource of your choosing on #5 if five people go in a row and you don't get any resources out of any of them.

    3 votes
  4. Comment on What's a "house rule" that has made a game more fun for you? in ~games

    Lapbunny
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    For Catan we house rule that if you don't get a resource in five rolls then you get one free chosen resource. Doubt it's balanced, but frankly snowballing in Catan annoys me the most and I don't...

    For Catan we house rule that if you don't get a resource in five rolls then you get one free chosen resource. Doubt it's balanced, but frankly snowballing in Catan annoys me the most and I don't care about that level of intricacy, so... No complaints from me.

    For Medium, if you're not going and the other players botch the first guess then you write a word down on every other player's second or third turn. If you match with the players or someone else at the table you get a point.

    7 votes
  5. Comment on Star Wars: Battlefront Classic Collection | Announce trailer | PS5 & PS4 games in ~games

    Lapbunny
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    64 player online support! I hope it doesn't peter out too quick, this is sick.

    64 player online support! I hope it doesn't peter out too quick, this is sick.

    4 votes
  6. Comment on Which characters have the best (Archery) bows? in ~anime

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    "Which characters have the best (Archery) arrows?" "Unrelated, Aang-"

    "Which characters have the best (Archery) arrows?"

    "Unrelated, Aang-"

  7. Comment on Nominate for "Movie of the Week" in March - Best Picture nominees that didn't win in ~movies

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    I edited the discussion piece into a spoiler to keep it separate. Sorry to derail!

    I edited the discussion piece into a spoiler to keep it separate. Sorry to derail!

    2 votes
  8. Comment on Nominate for "Movie of the Week" in March - Best Picture nominees that didn't win in ~movies

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    Sorry that wasn't clear, I am nominating High Noon.

    Sorry that wasn't clear, I am nominating High Noon.

    2 votes
  9. Comment on Nominate for "Movie of the Week" in March - Best Picture nominees that didn't win in ~movies

    Lapbunny
    (edited )
    Link
    Editing this to keep nomination clear - I'll nominate High Noon to give me an excuse to watch again. The gall to make that story amidst blacklisting was insane, and the self-imposed limit on the...

    Editing this to keep nomination clear - I'll nominate High Noon to give me an excuse to watch again. The gall to make that story amidst blacklisting was insane, and the self-imposed limit on the movie's direction, writing, and pacing is incredible. It's a western with only one brief fistfight until the end, but it feels like a ticking bomb the whole time and then bursts.

    Separate discussion re: Oscar losers: My wife had a thing where she was trying to watch all the Best Picture winners. (We're stuck at No Country because, while I love it, watching 2 hours and 30 minutes of butt clenching is not our mood after taking care of a baby all day...) Eventually she developed a rule that she'd give the movie a quarter of the runtime, then find another better movie from the year if she just didn't like it. There were a decent number of those.

    Some of my takes:

    • 2014 - Grand Budapest over Birdman, no shade to Birdman
    • 2009 - Up in the Air, District 9, or Up over The Hurt Locker
    • 1994 - Pulp Fiction over Forrest Gump
    • 1990 - Goodfellas over Dances With Wolves
    • 1981 - Raiders of the Lost Ark over Chariots of Fire
    • 1979 - Apocalypse Now over Kramer vs Kramer
    • 1964 - Dr. Strangelove over My Fair Lady
    • 1963 - Lilies of the Field over Tom Jones
    • 1962 - To Kill a Mockingbird over the second half or so of Lawrence of Arabia
    • 1957 - 12 Angry Men over Bridge on the River Kwai
    • 1956 - High Noon way the fuck over The Greatest Show on Earth
    7 votes
  10. Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    Yeah, dropping suggested stuff like Born in the USA down a step to make it playable. I think the app for the course does that with the playing patterns, but as long as I can dodge paying :^) It's...

    Yeah, dropping suggested stuff like Born in the USA down a step to make it playable. I think the app for the course does that with the playing patterns, but as long as I can dodge paying :^)

    It's really straight familiarity with the fretboard that's helping me. During the course it's like "here's a picking lesson for a single line, doing the Peter Gunn theme" and uh, not a problem on my left hand at least. I'm also playing a couple songs like Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria and it's coming across naturally, just some fine-tuning stuff making sure I'm not muting strings. I have some background in jazz on bass and sax, so I've got rudimentary music theory down, but I'm pretty bad with identifying chords by ear and am trying to go from the ground up to get shapes and chords down. I can pick out a melody with sax fingerings and getting to a similar point where I can figure out chords while listening to something would be hella, but I have to get the actual chord shapes down first...

  11. Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk

    Lapbunny
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    I'm learning guitar and can reasonably play simple songs! ...When I throw them into Audacity and change it to work with E/A/D chords. But it's something! Having prior bass playing knowledge helps...

    I'm learning guitar and can reasonably play simple songs! ...When I throw them into Audacity and change it to work with E/A/D chords. But it's something! Having prior bass playing knowledge helps one hell of a lot.

    5 votes
  12. Comment on New guitar - bit of a hiss on the G / B / high D strings? in ~music

  13. Comment on New guitar - bit of a hiss on the G / B / high D strings? in ~music

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    Yeah, I'm considering having someone do it - I see frequent suggestions to have Jazzmasters get a proper setup. Probably should have my Ray34 bass done while I'm at it, I've tried to give...

    Yeah, I'm considering having someone do it - I see frequent suggestions to have Jazzmasters get a proper setup. Probably should have my Ray34 bass done while I'm at it, I've tried to give adjusting the truss a shot but the levels have still seemed a bit uneven afterwards when I tried to do a measurement.

    1 vote
  14. Comment on New guitar - bit of a hiss on the G / B / high D strings? in ~music

    Lapbunny
    (edited )
    Link
    Hey all! Thank you so much for the input. @SeeNipplesAndDo and @albino_yak, regarding the ground - When I lay the guitar down and hover my fingers near the pickups, I hear the opposite of what you...

    Hey all! Thank you so much for the input.

    @SeeNipplesAndDo and @albino_yak, regarding the ground - When I lay the guitar down and hover my fingers near the pickups, I hear the opposite of what you mentioned about single coils, I think... Turning my volume all the way up, there's a noticeable bit of crackling if I set it down and just start hovering my finger near either pickup, bit moreso on the neck pickup. End part is with my finger on the strings and letting go.

    @MosephBlankenship and @albino_yak, the first G note here is the fuzz I originally meant and I don't hear as much fret buzz there - but I think I can hear the fret buzz you're talking about in the second B? The PO mentioned it needed a setup and had the action fairly low, so at least for the buzz the leveling does sound like a problem. I see a lot of people mention a neck shim and some loctite on the bridge really helps properly get the action sorted out, so I may just need to hunker down and give a crack at a full setup. The fuzz is bugging me a bit more than the buzz, though. (Need to find a thesaurus for these sounds.)

    I did realize what the constant hum was - my mechanical keyboard is giving off a shitload of intereference! Whoops. Doubt it's going to help a ton but I see a lot of people throwing some copper insulation in the guitar during setups, might give that a shot too down the line.

    4 votes
  15. New guitar - bit of a hiss on the G / B / high D strings?

    Hey Tilderinos! I tried this on r/guitar and had no dice, so figured I'd give it a shot here. I was playing bass a few weeks ago transcribing a line meant for guitar and suddenly felt like, uh,...

    Hey Tilderinos! I tried this on r/guitar and had no dice, so figured I'd give it a shot here. I was playing bass a few weeks ago transcribing a line meant for guitar and suddenly felt like, uh, learning guitar. So I picked up a Squier CV Jazzmaster off FBM and have been plucking away, really enjoying learning it. Thank you to ~UniquelyGeneric for the Justin Guitar rec, his stuff is great.

    I'm aware Jazzmasters notorious for requiring a proper setup, and I don't really mind while I'm getting some form stuff down - but I have noticed there's a bit of a
    hiss happening when I pluck on the harder side that I didn't notice while I was testing it out. I made a recording on my audio interface here. There's also a bit of a hum which changes with the pickup selection and goes down with the tone knob. Does this sound like a particular issue and does anyone have a good guide to troubleshooting or addressing it? Not the worst thing if I adjust the volume right, but if I can pull it apart and fix it myself then hey. Thanks!

    10 votes
  16. Comment on What is the horrible phrase my wife learned from her grandpa? in ~humanities.languages

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    Hey! She doesn't know the exact place, sorry. But she did record it for me: https://vocaroo.com/1eenOFIMyJnj

    Hey! She doesn't know the exact place, sorry. But she did record it for me: https://vocaroo.com/1eenOFIMyJnj

    6 votes
  17. What is the horrible phrase my wife learned from her grandpa?

    Hello! My wife's grandfather would say the phrase "ʃɛkrɛplj jɛɽɛ" from what I can decode from the phonetic alphabet on Wikipedia, or my best English estimation "shikrepple yere" with a flipped r...

    Hello! My wife's grandfather would say the phrase "ʃɛkrɛplj jɛɽɛ" from what I can decode from the phonetic alphabet on Wikipedia, or my best English estimation "shikrepple yere" with a flipped r if that makes no sense. He would say this when he lost a hand in poker, when she repeated it as a kid got chewed out and told not to say it, and he died without having ever said what it meant. He was stationed in Germany during the Korean War, so our best guess is something Polish..? But we can't find much that matches.

    Tilderinos, can you translate what horrible phrase my wife has been casually repeating to people trying to figure it out and what language it's even in? Apologies if this is a slur or something... And thanks!

    71 votes
  18. Comment on I is for Intent: why your app turned into spaghetti in ~comp

  19. Comment on What is a scam that more people should be aware of? in ~life

    Lapbunny
    Link Parent
    For Windows users, I haven't really heard any reasons in a while to use anything other than Defender + not running sketchy_program.exe for basic use.

    For Windows users, I haven't really heard any reasons in a while to use anything other than Defender + not running sketchy_program.exe for basic use.

    15 votes
  20. Comment on What has being LGBT taught you? in ~lgbt

    Lapbunny
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    My eternal ambiguity about my gender or sexual preferences is itself OK. Embracing fluidity has made me a good bit happier about my general wishy-washiness.

    My eternal ambiguity about my gender or sexual preferences is itself OK. Embracing fluidity has made me a good bit happier about my general wishy-washiness.

    7 votes