elight's recent activity
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Comment on How has your industry changed in the past decade? in ~life
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Comment on How well do you cook? in ~life.men
elight Link ParentMay not be a good time to move back here—at least not for four years...May not be a good time to move back here—at least not for four years...
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Comment on How well do you cook? in ~life.men
elight Link ParentThat was my first wife. The disease claimed her after ten years. I did the best I could by her. I wish I had been a healthier man who could have done more good and less harm. My second (now) wife...That was my first wife. The disease claimed her after ten years. I did the best I could by her. I wish I had been a healthier man who could have done more good and less harm.
My second (now) wife is the lemon garlic dressing lover. Heh.
Cooking, as well as the fuel, release all manner of particles into the air that aren't good for us! Having a partially outdoor kitchen? Brilliant.
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Comment on "Americans get screwed because they can’t read" in ~society
elight Link ParentAnd writing rules that others cannot comprehend ensure the writer(s) near maximum freedom to game those rules. That is, until someone else finds an unintended consequence in those rules to game....And writing rules that others cannot comprehend ensure the writer(s) near maximum freedom to game those rules.
That is, until someone else finds an unintended consequence in those rules to game.
And so it goes.
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Comment on How well do you cook? in ~life.men
elight Link ParentOh, yes! I can imagine a mushroom treatment would make an excellent nigiri! I've had shiitake in rolls before too. They were underwhelming but I blame Whole Foods deli for that.Oh, yes! I can imagine a mushroom treatment would make an excellent nigiri!
I've had shiitake in rolls before too. They were underwhelming but I blame Whole Foods deli for that.
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Comment on How well do you cook? in ~life.men
elight Link ParentNigiri has always seemed harder to me but I've never tried. I suppose some could be nigiri, if the ingredient was prepared particularly well. I like rolls because I can blend simpler flavors to...Nigiri has always seemed harder to me but I've never tried.
I suppose some could be nigiri, if the ingredient was prepared particularly well. I like rolls because I can blend simpler flavors to make something delicious more easily.
But then I imagine avocado nigiri would be delightful. And a superbly prepped tofu could as well. Perhaps some sort of roasted veggie.
On reflection, nigiri seems to often be used for ingredients with significant umami. That may be a good guide.
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Comment on How well do you cook? in ~life.men
elight Link ParentVaries. Also, sometimes I prep individual ingredients to create more variety. steamed carrots miso roasted carrots raw green onion avocado raw zucchini raw or lightly steamed asparagus tofu...Varies. Also, sometimes I prep individual ingredients to create more variety.
- steamed carrots
- miso roasted carrots
- raw green onion
- avocado
- raw zucchini
- raw or lightly steamed asparagus
- tofu prepped any number of ways
Then adds can be sriracha or really anything interesting you can drizzle.
Rice prep is important: good ratio of vinegar, sugar, and salt heated until they dissolve then mixed into the rice then cooling the rice so it's sticky and won't burn you!
Slicing it can be tricky! You need a good knife!
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Comment on How well do you cook? in ~life.men
elight LinkI wasn't encouraged to cook growing up. I was an abominable cook in my 20s! It was only when I got married, my wife was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease, and she was increasingly house-bound,...I wasn't encouraged to cook growing up. I was an abominable cook in my 20s!
It was only when I got married, my wife was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease, and she was increasingly house-bound, that I learned. I didn't want her to feel the lack of eating fun restaurant-type foods.
I learned how to make pizza. And then Outback Steakhouse-style fried mushrooms.
And then I learned a lot more.
She watched a lot of TV, particularly food network. This got me to watch many cooking contest shows, particularly Chopped! That show taught me how to improvise in the kitchen when you don't have the ingredients you wished you had.
We had years of Food Network on. I got gud.
Signature? Well, I'm a vegan now.
When I was an omni, I took pride in taking cheap ingredients and making them amazing. I would sous vide top round in a mix of mustard powder, garlic, salt, and pepper for 36 hours. When it came out, it put brisket to shame. I served it to 50 people at one event.
Also, mushroom risotto. I borrowed some ideas from J Kenji Lopez-Alt. But then I went nuts finding more ways to pack in umami and mushroom, using different types of mushrooms and copious white wine. Not health food.
These days, I make a pretty darn good vegan sushi boat.
I'm not bad a vegan gluten free ramen (wife is celiac). I don't make the noodles from scratch but the broth and veg are all me.
I make a killer vegan Cinci 5-way. Wife is from Ohio. Visiting, I fell in love with Cinci chili! Had to learn how. Skyline Chili hot sauce is the icing on the cake (for me; wife hates the heat).
Vegan lasagna? Oh, yes. But it's crack. Can't make it often. I make a terrific cheese substitute with cashew cream (cashews, water, mighty blender), nutritional yeast, a little lemon juice, seasonings, tapioca starch, and then apply some heat until stretchy). Then go nuts.
I got into fermented pickling during lockdown. Now I'm all about making my own sauerkraut! I use it on burger salads: beyond burger cooked McD's style (buttloads of black pepper and salt and cast iron fried) over finely sliced lettuce, thin sliced onion, minced raw Brussels sprouts, granulated garlic, then I whip up a vegan thousand island for me (wife uses lemon garlic dressing, like a heretic), and then top it all with a f'ing ton of kraut. That's some good eats.
Oh, learned how to make better than restaurant fried rice. But too slow to do with crappy household burners. And too cheap to drop the money on a big burner for outside.
Sure, I can get more elaborate. But it's the simple stuff, done well, that is so so good to me.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight Link ParentYes, understood. And 45% of those with ASD have ADHD. What I've never found is the percentage of ADHD with ASD. The label, if it applies, would likely alleviate some of my guilt/shame around...Yes, understood. And 45% of those with ASD have ADHD. What I've never found is the percentage of ADHD with ASD.
The label, if it applies, would likely alleviate some of my guilt/shame around difficulties I have, turning them more into challenges to manage.
Why do I need the label? If it fits, at least I can likely find more compassion for myself.
But, then, ADHD itself is too big a box. It's not as though we're all "Attention issues, "Hyperactive", or "Combined type". That is a massive oversimplification. Thanks, DSM-V.
We define ourselves with labels. But then we can just as easily, perhaps more so, trap ourselves within them.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight Link ParentPrimary cause: Task system failure. Grows to the point where I feel like a failure. More tasks than I can accomplish reasonably within needed time where many are important and some urgent. System...Primary cause: Task system failure. Grows to the point where I feel like a failure. More tasks than I can accomplish reasonably within needed time where many are important and some urgent. System failure occurs where frustration peaks and I stop using the stem entirely.
Secondary cause: Emotional overwhelm due to some part of my life suffering immense failure. Results in hopelessness and loss of sense of agency enough that self-care fails, cascading to general function including this.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight Link ParentYes. Doesn't feel good though. I remember the reasons they break down for me. Anxiety around reaching that point makes re-adoption difficult. It's easier to fool myself into optimism for the novel...Yes. Doesn't feel good though. I remember the reasons they break down for me. Anxiety around reaching that point makes re-adoption difficult. It's easier to fool myself into optimism for the novel versus revisiting old tools.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight Link ParentI feel the partner issue. When I experience what you describe, it causes me to share less until there's a gaping chasm of silence around things that matter. And, so, couples counseling.I feel the partner issue. When I experience what you describe, it causes me to share less until there's a gaping chasm of silence around things that matter.
And, so, couples counseling.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight Link ParentMy wife hates reminding me. Making time for fun: I already make too much... I have had all of the systems. I wind up declaring TODO bankruptcy and choosing a new one almost annually. The overhead...My wife hates reminding me.
Making time for fun: I already make too much...
I have had all of the systems. I wind up declaring TODO bankruptcy and choosing a new one almost annually. The overhead of choosing new ones rather than finding a way to sustain one, with all of the attendant upkeep and lack of novelty, is a frustrating ADHD tax. But then ADHD isn't optional.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight Link ParentHow does one go about an ASD diagnosis (or absence of it)? I labeled myself a failed perfectionist by undergrad. Since then, I've seen life primarily as a string of failures, despite outcomes....How does one go about an ASD diagnosis (or absence of it)? I labeled myself a failed perfectionist by undergrad. Since then, I've seen life primarily as a string of failures, despite outcomes. Each outcome has some . I do not know if that and ASD can coexist. Or maybe it can with extreme depression? This, too, has been much of my life: the world is not as I would have it and, so, it's largely been a struggle to exist within it.
My anxiety goes way back to childhood. I believe it
was inculcated through bullying and repeated punishments for failure. "Risk management", for many years, was merely "attempting to anticipate where the next blow would come from".20 years ago, I received an informal education, in a business context, for using that same curse as a tool to anticipate, measure, and systematically reduce probabilities of failure. It's been something of a survival tool ever since.
But it isn't a way to live. It's a way to survive. Looking for the next failure has left me with 51 years of few dreams, fewer realized, and many regrets.
The fear is manifold; however, ultimately, it is of an existential nature. I have largely overcome the fear of failure after having failed so many times and still being here, in some sense, afterward.
The ADHD planner is a template for an app I like: GoodNotes. It is, primarily, a Franklin-Covey-style planner with added elements that may appeal to ADHDers. To me, they feel bolted on.
Like you, I have the same "fuck routines; I need to be me!" attitude coupled with the nearly hypocritical "rituals and structure make the day so much easier" belief. These coexist... non-optimally.
I've run out of things I can remember to respond to.
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Comment on The Browser Company announces Arc Browser will no longer be their flagship product in ~tech
elight Link ParentHas Orion improved on iOS? I tried it 6 months or so ago and grew frustrated quickly. Also, haven't loved the founder's ethics. Partnering with Brave/Eich.Has Orion improved on iOS? I tried it 6 months or so ago and grew frustrated quickly.
Also, haven't loved the founder's ethics. Partnering with Brave/Eich.
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Comment on The Browser Company announces Arc Browser will no longer be their flagship product in ~tech
elight Link ParentGood question! Beyond my knowledge to answer. Curious though. I expect training will be ongoing, as newer larger more convoluted models replace the current generation, until and unless there is...Good question! Beyond my knowledge to answer. Curious though.
I expect training will be ongoing, as newer larger more convoluted models replace the current generation, until and unless there is some additional revolution in machine learning to allow significant simplification.
I recently read that there is an alleged mathematical means to remove linear algebra, and, so, power hungry GPUs, from the process. This possibly reduces costs. . So there is some hope. There's no discussion of power consumption but this seems easily inferred. However, as the AI rush grows, I suspect any power savings will be overcome by adoption growth. Yet almost any savings here, at scale, is a win for the environment if AI adoption were to continue regardless.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight Link ParentMorning ritual is my goal as well. Currently, it is both relief and (new) stress. I've been here before. Meds make a huge difference. Me without Adderall is a miserable morning ritual person. Me...Morning ritual is my goal as well. Currently, it is both relief and (new) stress. I've been here before.
Meds make a huge difference. Me without Adderall is a miserable morning ritual person. Me with is at least ok. But the anxiety visited anyway.
I'm an over-planner/optimizer and expert risk manager (started learning back in 2004). Comes from being a software engineer who became a manager later and now trying to make my own business (partly due to funemployment and, of the rest, my accepted incongruence with the banal and socially accepted cruelties of contemporary capitalism and the employer-employee relationship—but I digress. ADHD!). I tend to manage the anxiety of unknowns by defining them and then confronting them systematcally. This often pays off long term but it's stressful AF at the beginning when it's just one steep hill to climb after another. Pacing would be lovely but it would mean living with huge unknowns that scare the hell out of me until I slay them with the fire of earned knowledge.
Tough balance.
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Comment on ADHD and TODO lists in ~health.mental
elight (edited )Link ParentWith ADHD, that desire or its absence is an enormous differentiator in motivation and available energy. That's something I plan on factoring in starting tomorrow. I'm grateful for the reminder!...With ADHD, that desire or its absence is an enormous differentiator in motivation and available energy. That's something I plan on factoring in starting tomorrow. I'm grateful for the reminder!
Unscheduling would be hell with ADHD. We are unintentional masters of yak shaving: one task leads to discovering another then recurse until you don't even know why you're doing what you're doing. See also Malcolm In the Middle for reference if you don't know "yak shaving".
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Comment on The Browser Company announces Arc Browser will no longer be their flagship product in ~tech
elight LinkArc's "I'll summarize web pages for you" feature was the initial draw for me. But then I came to learn that: That feature fails to provide summaries with adequate detail for me. The UX is what I...Arc's "I'll summarize web pages for you" feature was the initial draw for me. But then I came to learn that:
- That feature fails to provide summaries with adequate detail for me.
- The UX is what I really care about.
Sure, LLMs are improving quickly. And yet some things remain the same. They still:
- Stubbornly adhere to their hallucinations even when confronted directly with their hallucination.
- Default to list responses, often even when prompted not to provide a list response.
In a nutshell, their own biases often seem to work contrary to the user. I haven't seen this changing rapidly. Perhaps not much at all.
Tangentially, LLMs are also still an absurd burden on the environment. Their rate of energy consumption could be a dictionary definition example for "profligacy". Meanwhile, they, still, are the new gold rush. That gold rush threatens to increase the acceleration of Earth's de-teraforming.
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ADHD and TODO lists
I hate TODO lists. Even when they're for a single day. I inevitably put more in my TODO list than I can accomplish in a day. When the new day begins, and I see the tasks I did not accomplish...
I hate TODO lists. Even when they're for a single day.
I inevitably put more in my TODO list than I can accomplish in a day. When the new day begins, and I see the tasks I did not accomplish before, I feel anxious, sad, and even ashamed. Then I find some of that anxiety is for how my partner will judge me for the unfinished tasks on my list that she tells herself she expected me to accomplish.
While I have worked on self-compassion for years, occasionally it is not there. I have worked on having boundaries between my partner's own issues and my mental health.
I wonder how others with ADHD, particular those with partners, cope.
EDIT: I started using an allegedly ADHD-friendly planner yesterday. These feelings came pouring out of me this morning, hence the post. Yet I've had these similar difficulties for years.
38 votes
This is much of what drove me from Java/J2EE to Ruby/Rails then to management then to unemployment and now try to start my own (physical) product business but not expecting much but hoping hard. That product isn't about getting rich but trying to do some actual small good in the world and just maybe paying my bills if I'm really really lucky.
I'm so disillusioned with the tech industry. We haven't just enshittified the customer experience but also our own daily lives. At some places the pay is terrific—you just have to trade your soul to get it. The industry is inhuman; we have all been cogs in a machine that pretended to have a heart. That heart has proven out to be an automaton for converting people into capital for billionaires.