sparksbet's recent activity
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Comment on What do you think is the best sandwich? in ~food
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Comment on What do you think is the best sandwich? in ~food
sparksbet Link ParentThe "grilled cheese versus melt" debate is a debate on whether the word "grilled cheese" can be used for a sandwich that contains things other than cheese, and the "melt" side of that argument...The "grilled cheese versus melt" debate is a debate on whether the word "grilled cheese" can be used for a sandwich that contains things other than cheese, and the "melt" side of that argument represents those who argue, as you do, that grilled cheese definitionally cannot contain anything but cheese. What term you personally use for a grilled cheese with other fillings is your own business; "melt" has become the shorthand due to it being the word of choice in a very public instance of this argument.
As for your edit, I've never said anything to deny that there is a debate or that a subset of the speaker community uses grilled cheese more narrowly. The argument I'm making is not invalidated by the existence of a subset of the speaker community that uses the word differently, but people aho insist on imposing a definition from that minority onto a speaker community for whom that is evidently not the definition are wrong.
Referencing the academic science of linguistics in a discussion about the meanings of words (and even providing references for the philosophical origins of this approach so that you can read about them in detail if you wanted to go deeper) is no more an appeal to authority than referencing biologists when discussing animals. You're insisting that your way is correct based purely on your own ideological grounds and refusing to engage with science because you don't like what it says. This conversation is the equivalent of a biologist arguing with a young earth creationist.
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Comment on What do you think is the best sandwich? in ~food
sparksbet Link ParentI usually don't bother to participate in "grilled cheese" vs "melt" debates because despite being wrong by any objective linguistic metric, the "melt" people will forever continue to be more...I usually don't bother to participate in "grilled cheese" vs "melt" debates because despite being wrong by any objective linguistic metric, the "melt" people will forever continue to be more obnoxious than they're worth. But insisting that meaning as use in general is a bad argument was good enough bait for me lol
Your favorite sandwich sounds lit and I wanna try it sometime.
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Comment on What do you think is the best sandwich? in ~food
sparksbet (edited )Link ParentThe argument @aphoenix makes is a well-understood in linguistics and philosophy as "meaning as use", was made famous by Wittgenstein, and is very much accepted as not just the norm within the...The argument @aphoenix makes is a well-understood in linguistics and philosophy as "meaning as use", was made famous by Wittgenstein, and is very much accepted as not just the norm within the field of linguistics but the foundation upon which further study of words and their meanings is based. You can insist that the definition you prefer for "grilled cheese" is "better" in some hypothetical way until you're blue in the face, but that does not change the well-documented fact that this is how the word "grilled cheese" is widely used -- a definition that excludes "melts" does not remotely reflect real-world language use, at least not in aggregate. You can insist on using the word differently yourself, but that does not change how the word is used by the speaker community in general, which is what defines what a word's meaning actually is.
The contention that it invites confusion with side dishes doesn't change the real-world usage of the word, as reevaluating a sentence's meaning and structure as it's uttered is completely normal and does not entail that a sentence is incorrect or even flawed. If human beings can handle garden path sentences, they can handle using the word "with" both of these (extremely common) senses of the word when used in the context of grilled cheese. And, indeed, this is evidenced by the fact that the phrase "grilled cheese with X" is widely used in this way. "with" may well be more often used in this sense when it comes to grilled cheese than it is for the "side dish" sense (though I am way too lazy to do the corpus linguistics to actually investigate that).
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Comment on Are there any games that had their development abandoned that you followed where you wish that continued/completed development? in ~games
sparksbet Link Parentthis is how I find our Dreamsettler has been cancelled. What a shame. I didn't know a secret to Night in the Woods was ever even planned tbqh.this is how I find our Dreamsettler has been cancelled. What a shame. I didn't know a secret to Night in the Woods was ever even planned tbqh.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #8: What is your favorite video game? (Results) in ~talk
sparksbet Link ParentHey, at least I was born in an era where my odds of encountering the source of this fear irl are vanishingly small!Hey, at least I was born in an era where my odds of encountering the source of this fear irl are vanishingly small!
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Comment on Tildes Survey #8: What is your favorite video game? (Results) in ~talk
sparksbet Link ParentI don't deliberately seek out media that triggers it, but I do still appreciate stuff that incorporates it when it's otherwise got something that appeals to me (as absolutely is the case with...I don't deliberately seek out media that triggers it, but I do still appreciate stuff that incorporates it when it's otherwise got something that appeals to me (as absolutely is the case with Outer Wilds). In the case of Outer Wilds I'm much more able to interact with the flying elements now that I'm very familiar with the planets and solar system in the game, and I've watched YouTubers do the "fly as far asay as fast as you can during the time limit" thing so it's no longer a true unknown, which helps alleviate my fear. Having someone alongside to help me get to the point where I was more familiar with the game was a big help but luckily is no longer necessary for me to play the game. Kerbal Space Program's gameplay much more directly interacts with the source of this fear and lacks the time limit aspect that helps with Outer Wilds, but I suspect with help from someone who was passionate about the game to help get me back on track when the fear got triggered could help me get used to the game enough to mitigate it enough. But unlike Outer Wilds I've never really wanted to play it enough to force myself to deal with it on my own.
This particular phobia rare enough though that it's not often I come into contact with it -- I have to both be in control (which limits this to games) and have the potential to accidentally fling myself out into the void of space, and this isn't actually common enough to often interfere.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #8: What is your favorite video game? (Results) in ~talk
sparksbet (edited )Link ParentI don't think I have any particular adverse experiences that could've caused it, and I don't have fear of the ocean or anything like that either -- there's simply a lot less nothing in the ocean,...I don't think I have any particular adverse experiences that could've caused it, and I don't have fear of the ocean or anything like that either -- there's simply a lot less nothing in the ocean, and there's bounds to hit. Being the one piloting is a big factor in this fear triggering for sure, and the endlessness/void of space is a big factor. But I don't think there's an obvious source for this fear tbh. Just a random irrational fear ig. The most similar feeling I can think of is anxiety/nervousness when driving, but that's definitely less intense and more rational.
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Comment on Bricks & Minifigs corporate stole a man's $200,000 Lego collection and told him to get bent in ~hobbies
sparksbet Link Parentwhile I think what you describe here is more or less accurate when it comes to why the right party would eventually prevail in this case, I think you're woefully underestimating how much a...while I think what you describe here is more or less accurate when it comes to why the right party would eventually prevail in this case, I think you're woefully underestimating how much a motivated party with competent legal representation can drag out a case and increase costs if they're motivated to do so. Would the courts probably arrive at the right verdict anyway? Sure... eventually. And legal costs for the opposing party are not always (and indeed are often not) covered by the loser in a case like this in the US. Even setting aside the monetary issue, a prolonged legal battle is a lot of stress and effort for someone to go through even when they have representation, which they weren't able to get at first before the case became publicized.
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Comment on Kings of the losers in ~life
sparksbet Link ParentI think that's a fair point, but I think it's useful to use the term "incel" to distinguish the modern subculture and social environment from the "creeps" that predate its rise. But that's just...I think that's a fair point, but I think it's useful to use the term "incel" to distinguish the modern subculture and social environment from the "creeps" that predate its rise. But that's just semantics, so I don't disagree with what you say here. The modern social movement didn't create lonely misogynistic guys, it just gathered and fermented them.
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Comment on Kings of the losers in ~life
sparksbet Link ParentI'm not super familiar with self-identified femcels much myself, but my understanding is that their communities tend to be pretty separate from male incel communities more or less by necessity. My...I'm not super familiar with self-identified femcels much myself, but my understanding is that their communities tend to be pretty separate from male incel communities more or less by necessity. My point was more that women are excluded from the definition of "incel" used both by the mainstream in articles like this as well as within the community itself (this article even includes an example with th "your culture is not my costume" parroting) even when their struggles with dating and sex are very similar, if not identical.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #8: What is your favorite video game? (Results) in ~talk
sparksbet (edited )Link ParentI struggled with the flying in Outer Wilds because I have a fear of drifting off into the vastness of space (only this game and Kerbal Space Program have triggered this fear for me) to the extent...I struggled with the flying in Outer Wilds because I have a fear of drifting off into the vastness of space (only this game and Kerbal Space Program have triggered this fear for me) to the extent that for a portion of the game I played by having my then-partner fly the ship according to my instructions. So probably the VR version isn't for me.
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Comment on Kings of the losers in ~life
sparksbet Link ParentWhile men who struggled with women and were unable to find a sexual or romantic partner have existed since times immemorial, I think the modern incel is defined by participation in those online...Incels existed well before the Internet. But it was harder to exist without ever seeing another person. They just didn't have easy access to be able to openly congregate and perpetually self-validate their trauma.
While men who struggled with women and were unable to find a sexual or romantic partner have existed since times immemorial, I think the modern incel is defined by participation in those online spaces where they congregate and perpetually self-validate their trauma. This is, I think, the key distinguishing factor of what makes someone an "incel" -- in part because labeling oneself an incel pretty much exclusively coincides with entering these spaces. The exclusion of women from the term "incel" (despite a woman initially coining the term back in the day) is evidence of this -- women who are involuntarily celibate absolutely exist and have existed for as long as women have had any agency over their own sexual lives, but they cannot participate in the self-perpetuating doom spiral that is inceldom because of these groups' intensely misogynistic ideology. Therefore, female incels don't really exist per se. I think the culture of inceldom is the key to what makes an incel an incel as opposed to just a guy who hasn't gotten laid.
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Comment on Kings of the losers in ~life
sparksbet Link ParentIt's pretty clearly described as an exercise performed in therapy, so "experiment" is not being used to describe a scientifically rigorous process. imo seems like a pretty sensible way to force an...It's pretty clearly described as an exercise performed in therapy, so "experiment" is not being used to describe a scientifically rigorous process. imo seems like a pretty sensible way to force an incel to acknowledge at least obliquely that the woman on the other side of a dating app is a human being who is probably selecting based on a mixture of rational and arbitrary criteria just to narrow down a huge pool of options. Among a group that clearly struggles to empathize with or even humanize women, this exercise forces them in a small way to put them in their shoes, and it hopefully exhibits to them that one can do this without feeling digust, disdain, or even disliking the "staplers" that get filtered out. Using something less emotionally charged like staplers also probably allows them to do this exercise without immediately dragging in all their baggage when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships.
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Comment on Kings of the losers in ~life
sparksbet LinkA small note on the translation: The official English localized name of Das Schwarze Auge is The Dark Eye, due presumably to "black eye" being the English word for an eye surrounded by a bruise...A small note on the translation: The official English localized name of Das Schwarze Auge is The Dark Eye, due presumably to "black eye" being the English word for an eye surrounded by a bruise from being hit (I believe in German this is called a "blue eye").
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Comment on Tildes Survey #8: What is your favorite video game? (Results) in ~talk
sparksbet Link ParentIf we were allowed to submit more than one title, this would've been the second game I typed. It was a phenomenal, transformative experience to play and I constantly must hunt down other people...If we were allowed to submit more than one title, this would've been the second game I typed. It was a phenomenal, transformative experience to play and I constantly must hunt down other people playing it to relive the experience.
The only game that ranks higher than it for me is Disco Elysium, which I believe I've said before on Tildes is my favorite piece of art bar none, so. It's stiff competition here.
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Comment on GOG apologies for emailing Nazi runes to its followers in ~games
sparksbet (edited )Link ParentEven a passing familiarity with either Norse runes or hate symbols would result in knowing about the Nazi uses of at least some of these. There are more obscure runes used by neo-Nazis who aim for...Even a passing familiarity with either Norse runes or hate symbols would result in knowing about the Nazi uses of at least some of these. There are more obscure runes used by neo-Nazis who aim for more plausible deniability, but this isn't even that. The only thing these runes have in common is their use as Nazi hate symbols and they have no association with Slavic folklore, what the game in question is ostensibly about. So while I can understand a given individual not recognizing what those weird symbols in their email are, there's really no excuse for GOG not catching it.
Even if they hadn't already demonstrated their full awareness of the problem by holding this email back from German subscribers to avoid breaking the law, letting this email go through by accident would still demonstrate a despicably negligent screening process, since these are unicode characters that are easy to copy-paste into your search engine of choice and doing so would reveal their use as hate symbols very quickly.
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Comment on GOG apologies for emailing Nazi runes to its followers in ~games
sparksbet Link ParentUsing two in a row has no plausible reference to anything other than the SS, even if you ignore the presence of other runes that are well-known Nazi symbols. It very much is a situation where the...Using two in a row has no plausible reference to anything other than the SS, even if you ignore the presence of other runes that are well-known Nazi symbols. It very much is a situation where the only more recognizably Nazi reference they could have included would have been a proper swastika/Hakenkreuz. The fact that they held this back from Germany is evidence that they were aware of this, too.
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Comment on The big little penis panic in ~life.men
sparksbet (edited )Link ParentIn women's spaces, even those that are arguably overly permissive/accepting of bad behavior on the part of women who post there like r/GirlDinnerDiaries, this exact sentiment is extremely common...In women's spaces, even those that are arguably overly permissive/accepting of bad behavior on the part of women who post there like r/GirlDinnerDiaries, this exact sentiment is extremely common and expressed pretty damn openly. "I don't do those things and not all men do" would be less acceptable both because it's unnecessarily centering yourself in someone else's issues (in a way that the comments you're replying to are not doing imho) and due to the extremely extensive history of misogynistic men using similar rhetoric to dismiss women altogether when they try to advocate for combatting the misogynistic abuse and violence they have experienced in our society on a systemic level. But "throw that whole man out and don't date guys who treat you like that, raise your standards" is overwhelmingly common and accepted even in spaces that are dedicated to being supportive to women.
Frankly, I think more or less an exact copy of @RoyalHenOil's comment with the genders swapped would be met with an overwhelmingly positive response in such spaces, assuming it was offered in an appropriate context in which advice was solicited/welcome in the first place.
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Comment on Emacs bra size calculator in ~comp
sparksbet Link ParentI've also heard good things about this calculator from other boob-havers (though I personally took the nuclear option of having my tits removed, and wore sports bras only for years before that for...I've also heard good things about this calculator from other boob-havers (though I personally took the nuclear option of having my tits removed, and wore sports bras only for years before that for both comfort and dysphoria reasons)
I literally nowhere said that there aren't speakers who use grilled cheese solely for when it contains cheese or that this wasn't real world usage. I instead said that referring to grilled cheese sandwiches with other fillings added as "grilled cheese" is common real-world usage. This is verifiably the case in at least the speaker community I'm in as well as the one in which the restaurant DefinitelyNotAFae visited was located. You and your speaker community can continue using the term however you use it, even if you use it differently than I do.
The problem is people coming into the comments of any discussion of grilled cheese by the wide swath or people who include sandwiches with other fillings added and insist that they're the ones who are wrong and using language incorrectly. The reverse does not happen and is not what I'm doing here. You're at best interpreting what I say extremely uncharitably by framing it as though I'm the one prescribing language use that differs from how it's descriptively used on someone else here, in a disagreement in which I am arguing against doing that very thing.
My main issue with the comment I initially replied to from F13 was the insistence on disparaging the linguistic scientific approach to defining words' meanings, which goes beyond just this particular example and essentially results in discarding the entire science of linguistics in favor of "all people who speak differently than I want them to are wrong because I said so."