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    1. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      10 votes
    2. Question about breathing while exercising

      this past summer, I started biking quite a bit and part of my route involves lots of hills and so forth. It was painful af the first few months, not gonna lie. although, now, my legs muscles have...

      this past summer, I started biking quite a bit and part of my route involves lots of hills and so forth. It was painful af the first few months, not gonna lie.

      although, now, my legs muscles have grown quite a bit (didn't expect that) and I am quite happy with my muscular endurance, although there is still room for improvement obviously.

      However, oddly as it sounds, my breathing is still off. As I bike up the hill, I feel heartbeat go up quite a bit and my breathing becomes quite laborious and I wind up taking quick breaths with my mouth aka panting. If I try to do it through my nose, I quickly feel like I am suffocating like I can't get enough air.

      In the beginning, this made sense. I was out of shape and all that.

      But summer is over, my legs have adapted but I feel like my breathing hasn't. when I am going up a hill, I still feel the need to pant and breathe through my mouth and take short breaths.

      Is this normal? that I would have to pant even after 3-4 months of this kind of exercise everyday. I figured my lungs or whatever would get used to the biking route I am taking by this time.

      23 votes
    3. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      9 votes
    4. How do you practice self love?

      I've been having a difficult time recently, which has been leading to my absence here and a lot of crying in my real life. I don't deal with letting go too well. I keep texts and pictures and...

      I've been having a difficult time recently, which has been leading to my absence here and a lot of crying in my real life. I don't deal with letting go too well. I keep texts and pictures and messages and every once in a while I like to look back at them and remember that somebody out there at one point was capable of loving me.

      It's not like I don't have friends that love me either, I've spent days and days at other people's houses just crying, people have taken me out to eat and cry and just feel my feelings, and people have been reminding me about the things they like about me too. I mentioned it to a friend that I've been having trouble letting go and we dug into it a bit more, about why I want to keep these things. My friend asks why I need the love to come from other people first. Where is the self love?

      My core issue has always been needing to be reminded that I am loved. It's really silly sometimes, because on some level I know that I am. But something is missing.

      There's an old saying that we judge other people by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bad person. Or if I think I am. Because if I didn't have that, why would I have such a hard time forgiving myself?

      I don't really know how to self love, to be honest. I spent all day today barely working, just mindlessly staring at a screen playing a stupid game and not leaving the house. I dunno. Maybe I just need some ideas. I set up a couple more appointments with my therapist this week, but sometimes when it's 2 in the morning like it is now I just can't sleep and spend more time hurting myself in my own head.

      37 votes
    5. Victories and challenges: An A[u]DHD community and support fortnightly thread #6

      I'm attempting to be more active on Tildes (after my last attempt), and I noticed that there hadn't been a new fortnightly thread, so here's my contribution!...

      I'm attempting to be more active on Tildes (after my last attempt), and I noticed that there hadn't been a new fortnightly thread, so here's my contribution!

      https://tildes.net/~health.mental/1oax/victories_and_challenges_an_a_u_dhd_community_and_support_fortnightly_thread

      24 votes
    6. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      8 votes
    7. What are your favorite ways to measure your own health?

      A lot of people are familiar with body fat percentage, BMI, etc. Personally, my BMI has been 'better' when I've been less healthy, and generally worse as I've been more healthy. Body fat...

      A lot of people are familiar with body fat percentage, BMI, etc. Personally, my BMI has been 'better' when I've been less healthy, and generally worse as I've been more healthy. Body fat percentage is difficult to actually measure. So every few months, I look for metrics that fit my biases. For example:

      • Jeff Nippard's Noob to Freak Benchmarks - I like these primarily because it's a multiplier on bodyweight. Additionally, he makes a good argument for why you'll never get past "Intermediate" due to the work and sacrifices required.
      • StrengthLevel - If you want to compare yourself to people of similar weight, age, and gender. You can see the "novice", "intermediate", etc. break downs of your lift for your cohort.
      • Ready for Labour and Defence was a USSR and now modern Russia series of benchmarks of health. It includes pull-up goals as well as how far you can throw a grenade. Can't say I've applied these but I like the concept.
      • Anime Workout - Solo-Levelling, One-Punch Man. Why wouldn't you want to be an anime hero?

      If possible, explain why it's your "favorite." Can be everything from accuracy, to ease of application, or you just being really good at it.

      For me:

      • Squat, Deadlift, and Bench - 1x Bodyweight x 10 reps (e.g., a barbell squat where you're lifting your body weight) - I like the idea that I can truly support my own weight.
      • Being able to do unassisted pullups
      • 100 push ups, 100 pull ups, 100 squats - it's completely arbitrary, based on a base 10 number system, but for that same reason it just feels like a good "benchmark."
      • Your 30 minute run distance / speed - 30 minutes is relatively long, so I like it as a measure of realistic improvement, rather than thinking about outlier improvements in speed or distance that might go away the next week.
      • Enough hours of sleep and a normal sleep schedule for 1 month - This is hard for me, but feels great when I'm in the swing of it.
      • Doing some kind of activity every day for at least 1 month - Even if it's just 15 minutes of stretching, I know that it means something to "try."
      24 votes
    8. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      9 votes
    9. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      11 votes
    10. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      12 votes
    11. Guilt and video games

      Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed...

      Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed to reduce and embrace moderation. I’m now entering my 40s. However, I can’t help feeling a certain sense of lingering guilt when I do play. It’s as though a voice inside my head tells me “you should be doing something else with your time.” My rational mind thinks that with moderation, some gaming is not that bad. It’s not conflicting with responsibilities, work, relationships. Helps my brain relax and I prefer it to something like TV which is far more passive. I play mainly rogue-like games. No online games, no loot boxes, no fictional currency. Think Dead Cells, Balatro, Hades, small(er) games. Wondering if others feel this way and what do you tell yourself or do to mitigate the guilty conscience? Am I just too strict or mean to myself?

      43 votes
    12. What's a psychological barrier you've recently unlocked?

      For the past year, I've finally been able to have a strong, lasting, cleaning routine. It took me my whole life, but I was never able to go past my own argument of "who cares"? Who cares if the...

      For the past year, I've finally been able to have a strong, lasting, cleaning routine. It took me my whole life, but I was never able to go past my own argument of "who cares"? Who cares if the dishes aren't done? If the laundry isn't folded? Only I can judge me. It doesn't matter, ultimately.

      But silently, I wasn't happy with that, and I've known I wasn't happy for years, kinda like an addict saying he'll stop but he never does.

      One day earlier this year, during winter, while on a good cleaning day, I took some time to look at my old notebooks from college. I remembered a page I had written during some off-time on an internship. I had written a full page of the same line: "I like it when...". I had wanted to just do some introspection and list every thing I liked that came to mind. Stuff like "I like it when I eat pizza", "I like it when I play boardgames with my friend", etc.

      Those notes were five years old, you know what was the very first thing on the page? That's right: "I like it when my apartment is clean"

      It hit me like a fucking brick. I almost cried right there.

      From then on, it was over. The cleaning me had won over the lazy me and I've since been able to keep a clean apartment :)

      So, what's your story? How did you overcome a challenge in your life?

      31 votes
    13. Feeling defeated, and the need to keep trying

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know. Copious Backstory As I wrote in...

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know.


      Copious Backstory

      As I wrote in the monthly mental health, I've been struggling with finding a job. I've spent the last 15 years in ECE (Early Childhood Education) at a private school. I've worked over the last decade first to finish my Associates degree with help from my boss, and then my bachelor's with help from the state (@DefinitelyNotAFae you may have heard of the ECACE program). I earned my educator license too late last year to search for a teaching job in public schools, so I spent the last year building up networks and references for the hunt this year. That all went well.

      Over the last 6 months I have interviewed (or attempted to interview, because it's difficult to take off work for all of this) at almost all of the schools in my county for the positions I'm certified for. I quickly got the feeling that finding a teaching job was much different this year than in previous years. I got turned down, every time.

      I wrote last week about how I had finally landed a job - an ideal one, checking off so many boxes. It was local, a 25% pay bump over other districts, an age range I'm familiar with, and more. I went on vacation this week ecstatic and celebrating. @Chocobean you may remember I tagged you about this update.

      Yesterday I spoke with the district HR executive. Due to budget cuts that came in Monday, my position was no longer available and the offer was rescinded. I feel robbed.

      I'm really trying not to let this ruin the rest of my family vacation, but it's hard. I feel defeated and dejected. I spent family time putting in more applications, again, to try and soothe my mind. I hate it. It does help feeling like I'm doing something about it, but it feels more like any opportunity I get can be dashed away before my very eyes without me being able to do anything at all.

      What I feel worst about is that the deadline for getting hired is fast approaching. What if I don't land a job? What if I'm still stuck working where I am? I love that place and my coworkers, but my heart is set on moving on to something different and new.

      I try to tell myself I can't see myself as a failure - I did succeed. I was mugged. There's nothing I could have done differently.

      I'm still empty handed though.


      So to the point of discussion... What helps you persevere in the face of adversity and hardship?

      35 votes
    14. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      8 votes
    15. Fitness tracker (2025 edition)

      See device recommendation thread from 2019. It's been a few years: tech has further matured, and we've gotten more things enshittified. With that in mind, I am asking these questions : Edit: new...

      See device recommendation thread from 2019.

      It's been a few years: tech has further matured, and we've gotten more things enshittified. With that in mind, I am asking these questions :

      Edit: new comments very welcome as well! I wasn't on this site yet in 2019

      (0) Did you find the device worth the money, what was surprisingly helpful or unhelpful? What was the tipping point into getting one and did it fulfil its promise?

      (1) If your existing one broke today, would you still buy a new fitness tracker today?

      (2) If yes, which one?

      (3) Else no, why not, or what lessons have you learned since owning one, or what technological considerations do you have today that you didn't before?

      Bonus: for folks who never had one, did you ever wanted one and if so what stopped you?

      16 votes
    16. How do you find the words?

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came...

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came off with that ranting/venting or whatever it was that went through my head at that time, in a vulnerable emotional state. When it gets even worse, during breakdowns, it even becomes that I'm fully incapable of speech which I even less know how to work on.

      But it's not just limited to these two states. During more "reasonable" moments, if I can call it that, I still have the sense that I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes I catch myself thinking it's a lack of education or because of not reading enough literature, so my vocabulary is poor. Because even when I use tools full-on graphs of words with emotions and variants and synonyms of those words etc. etc., it still seems like it's not enough.

      The best I can usually do is saying that I have a feeling of being overwhelmed, that it's all too much, feeling the feelings too much, extreme emotions, that I can't fit into my body. But I feel like it's still more than that.

      Anyone else deal with this too?

      18 votes
    17. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      14 votes