first-must-burn's recent activity

  1. Comment on What programming/technical projects have you been working on? in ~comp

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    This would have to mean that the decryption key is held by the binary, so you should be able to decompile the binary and find the key, unless it's obfuscated in some way. Not knowing much about...

    However- this closed source program must have a list, right? And indeed it does. Not built into the binary, of course, but fetched in AES encrypted form from the developer's domain, decrypted in secret, and referenced.

    This would have to mean that the decryption key is held by the binary, so you should be able to decompile the binary and find the key, unless it's obfuscated in some way. Not knowing much about how to do this in practice, I would think turning an AI loose on the problem would probably be productive, as long as the task doesn't trip the safeguards.

    You might also be able to instrument the memory of the closed source binary and read back the list after it has been decrypted.

    1 vote

  2. Comment on Was watching a history YouTube video when I realized they are all AI in ~tech

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    As a holder of such a PhD, my experience accords more with @NaraVara. The research environment can produce new insights that lead to innovation, but there is a lot more work motivated by "publish...

    As a holder of such a PhD, my experience accords more with @NaraVara. The research environment can produce new insights that lead to innovation, but there is a lot more work motivated by "publish or perish" that is ultimately meaningless outside the field, and even inside the field.

    A common expression you would hear in academia is "the arguments are so bitter because the stakes are so low" – people defending ideology that matters only to a handful of other people in the world.

    One time as a grad student, I did the logistics for the program committee for the major conference we published at. That meant I got to sit through three days of listening to 30ish professors decide which papers to accept or reject. The first day was full of "reasoned debate" in the merits but by the third day, they were clearly bored and/or tired enough that it was basically random chance. That was a real eye opener to the value of "peer review."

    2 votes

  3. Comment on I'm having a glow up, but it sucks in ~life.men

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    One thing I found in grad school with my dissertation work, is that it's really easy for me to think about the flaws in my work, the things I didn't do, my limitations. But then when I would...

    I sit down to work on my resume the dark thoughts come in heavy

    One thing I found in grad school with my dissertation work, is that it's really easy for me to think about the flaws in my work, the things I didn't do, my limitations. But then when I would explain my work to my wife, I'd realize, "wow, I really did do something." If you have a friend (a better friend than the one mentioned above!), maybe you can do that with them.

    Another thing that helped me with my resume and cover letters was having Claude "interview" me. I'd put my existing resume, the company website and job description into the prompt, and ask it to ask me questions to improve and expand my resume. Basically, get it to help you focus on your accomplishments. I would definitely use the cover letter output as fodder and rewrite it, since AI writing has a recognizable tone.

    Also, lots of good resume advice on Ask a Manager: https://www.askamanager.org/

    Good luck with your job search.

    3 votes

  4. Comment on What was a small but bright moment of your day? in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link
    I had to get up Monday morning and drive five hours for a work trip, and my daughter, all on her own, got up at 5 am and packed me a lunch/snack bag. Turned out to be important because Google took...

    I had to get up Monday morning and drive five hours for a work trip, and my daughter, all on her own, got up at 5 am and packed me a lunch/snack bag. Turned out to be important because Google took me the wrong way, so I did not have time to stop for lunch. My heart is still warm f from that.

    In the bird space, the work event had a falconry tour/experience that includes getting to hold a falcon and see a Harris hawk do its thing up close. Pretty amazing.

    3 votes

  5. Comment on Emily Blunt, Benicio Del Toro and Josh Brolin returning for ‘Sicario 3’. Padraic McKinley to direct Steven Knight’s screenplay. in ~movies

    first-must-burn
    Link
    TIL there was a Sicario 2.

    TIL there was a Sicario 2.

    3 votes

  6. Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health

  7. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

  8. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    So sorry to hear about the new diagnosis. I worked with a company that supports caregivers in North Carolina, and the founder named the company AKALAKA, which is an Igbo word that means "hands"...

    So sorry to hear about the new diagnosis. I worked with a company that supports caregivers in North Carolina, and the founder named the company AKALAKA, which is an Igbo word that means "hands" but also "destiny" because it's all of our destinies to give or receive care during our lives. But I hope you can find a peace outside of that role.

    1 vote

  9. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    I am fortunate that the dementia is still in the early stages, so it is still visiting him, talking with him, laughing with him. And my mom too, though my relationship with her has always been...

    I am fortunate that the dementia is still in the early stages, so it is still visiting him, talking with him, laughing with him. And my mom too, though my relationship with her has always been different.

    I don't think it's so much that I have unfinished business with them. A few years ago, I did a lot of work helping us all navigate a rift between them and my sister. So at that time, I did have a chance to make some adjustments in the way I saw and understood them. I think that this phase is probably the same kind of thing, but different in degree.

    But I will take your advice to heart.It is a good thing to bring up with my wife and my therapist to dig down a bit and see if there is anything "unfinished" that I have been putting off.

    2 votes

  10. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    Unfortunately, my father's main hobby was work. Especially with the cancer drugs over the past 16 years, he pretty much practiced and came home and went to bed. I don't know if there would be a...

    Unfortunately, my father's main hobby was work. Especially with the cancer drugs over the past 16 years, he pretty much practiced and came home and went to bed. I don't know if there would be a place where he could volunteer, maybe a shelter. That is a good idea.

    I think you're right that we're lucky they made the jump straight to a care facility, but I think the abruptness of it has caught me off guard. If they had moved house but kept their own residence, then later moved to a care facility, it would have felt more gradual. But I am sure it will become "normal" soon enough.

    3 votes

  11. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

  12. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    This is good to remember. I have done a lot of work to instill a sense of both bodily autonomy and independence in my daughter. So maybe I can translate some of that over. It seems harder to judge...

    That they do not primarily need care or solutions, they need to feel validated. They want to remain clear headed adults: strong and healthy, capable of making decisions like judge right from wrong, and can take actions that solve their own problems.

    This is good to remember. I have done a lot of work to instill a sense of both bodily autonomy and independence in my daughter. So maybe I can translate some of that over.

    It seems harder to judge than it is with children, because the children start out helpless and become more capable, so judgement is about adding responsibility, but with our parents, it is about taking that responsibility away.

    Religion. There no other way to sugar coat aging and death: without religion, for me, aging is ugly and pointless and torturous and we should all be gentle put out of our misery as soon as our value as elders diminish or once we've logged tribal knowledge to someone else.

    I know we are far apart on the religious spectrum, but I have found myself close to reaching "the end of myself" and thinking more about my need for spiritual support.

    On the topic of being put out of our misery, this and a few other experiences have convinced me that for myself at least, I want to be able to choose the time and manner of my own passing. Not any time soon, mind you. But then, I often wonder what that diminished capacity will feel like from the inside, and whether the things that seem like they would be unbearable now will seem unbearable then. So hard to know!

    2 votes

  13. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    I am a transplant to the city where I live, and I have always been jealous of the people I know here who have two or three generations, childhood friends, and siblings all local. We have had to...

    I had my own naive notions about my dad helping out around the house and my mom helping with childcare. Getting disabused of these fantasies was a process that took its toll on us all,

    I am a transplant to the city where I live, and I have always been jealous of the people I know here who have two or three generations, childhood friends, and siblings all local. We have had to forge our own connections. And it has not been easy. I'm not sure it is anybody's fault, but we did move away, and they did stay, and I did tell them many years ago that I would never raise my daughter in East Texas.

    I know my parents are well past the childcare helping stage, but I see it as a loss that they did it get more chances for that when they (and we) were younger.

    However, in exchange for this hardship you will purchase, for yourself and for them, benefits and bounties that will, in due time, far outweigh the difficulties you will have to endure presently.

    Thank you for your kind words!

    2 votes

  14. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    I appreciate it. And you're right that it is beyond my control. I think I'm a little afraid my mom will "give up" on my dad, and then it will be much harder to navigate. And underneath all that, I...

    I appreciate it. And you're right that it is beyond my control.

    I think I'm a little afraid my mom will "give up" on my dad, and then it will be much harder to navigate.

    And underneath all that, I see myself as a product of my parents, and if they are capable of this, what does that say about me? I know I can be more and different than they are. But I also know they are good people who didn't set out to be this way, and somehow they are here anyway.

    1 vote

  15. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    This is good advice. I will look into it. And for my sister too, source she is local and probably can get more inside baseball on services and such.

    If there's a local support group for people with aging parents, it can be helpful to attend. Just having a set of people who really understand the situation you're in and with whom you can regularly connect will help a ton in dealing with the emotions that are going to be coming up as you start to take on aspects of the role of caregiver that your parents once were to you.

    This is good advice. I will look into it. And for my sister too, source she is local and probably can get more inside baseball on services and such.

    1 vote

  16. Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    Thank you for the reality checks here. Hard to read, but I appreciate it. This is great advice, and I think you are spot on. I'm compiling a list of things to talk to my sister about.

    Thank you for the reality checks here. Hard to read, but I appreciate it.

    You state that they are functioning well enough to not need daily care; this hits me as a red flag. Are you sure they are functioning well enough to not need daily care, or is it only your mother and she is picking up all the slack, every moment of every day? Is he still sleeping through the night? Eventually he won’t, and from what you’re saying below I’m worried that she’s the type who won’t say anything until she is completely burned out.

    This is great advice, and I think you are spot on. I'm compiling a list of things to talk to my sister about.

    3 votes

  17. Advice on dealing with aging parents

    ~life Ask (advice)
    Questions first, the long backstory in the details section that follows if you care to read it. Thank you in advance for your consideration. I've framed this in terms of parents for convenience,...

    Questions first, the long backstory in the details section that follows if you care to read it. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

    I've framed this in terms of parents for convenience, but of course I am interested in anyone's experience with the aging.

    What did you learn later that you wish you knew about having aging parents when they started needing more care?

    What resources were the most help to you navigating the transitions?

    That resources do you think were the most help to your parents in navigating the transitions?

    If you weren't local, what kind of things did you do to help stay connected? What worked, and what didn't ?

    I'm really struggling with depression, disappointment, and worry about my parents. What advice do you have for me?

    Details inside. Sorry in advance. This is a long one.

    My parents are both in their 70s. My mom retired about 10 years ago, but my dad only retired last year. Shortly after his retirement, he received a dementia diagnosis.

    My sister and I live about 3 hours apart, but 1,200 miles away from my parents, who still lived in the town we grew up in. I have been quietly campaigning to get them to move closer for years. My mom always said, "When your dad retires, we'll think about it." But my dad has ADHD, and most things don't happen unless my mom spearheads them. The bottom line was that she didn't really want to leave, so they didn't.

    The dementia diagnosis proved to be the required catalyst. They have been packing for the past few months, and the movers moved them in to their apartment in the city where my sister lives. They're holding an estate sale to get rid of the rest of their stuff, and they have already found a realtor to list the house.

    They moved into a two bedroom apartment in an independent living facility that has options up to full memory care. Right now they are both functioning well enough not to need any daily care, though my dad is no longer driving.

    This new place is going to be good for them at least in terms of meeting their physical needs. It's a very nice facility with lots of social spaces. There's a (kind of blah) meal service, exercise equipment, a movie theater, and guest apartments we can stay in when we visit. It has a shuttle that they can book to take them anywhere within 20 miles, so the fact that my dad can't drive it's not as limiting. They're within easy walking distance of a grocery store and a Target.

    I went to visit them this week to help with some unpacking. It really made me sad. They moved from a seven bedroom house that they've lived in for 20 years in a town that they lived in for 45 years. The new apartment is 1200 square feet in a town where they don't know anyone but my sister. I'm glad that they made the move because they need the support, but seeing how diminished their circumstances are, and in some ways, how diminished they are has been really depressing to me.

    Things are even harder because the relationship dynamic between them is not good. It's become apparent to me that they mostly function as a couple by not being together. My dad would be at work all day, and my mom was doing her own things: volunteering, book club, etc. Now that my dad is retired, there is a lot of friction between them. It's compounded by some anger outbursts from him that are probably related to the dementia but also certainly related to the unresolved conflict between them. He sees her as the person who's taking away his independence. She feels hurt that she's treated like the bad guy in every situation. She is also bitter because their plan was that he would retire and they would travel and see things they had always wanted to see. The truth is more like: she was enjoying her retirement and independence without having him underfoot, and now she has to face the consequences of having put it off for so long. They have tried couples counseling, but my mom has been saying she doesn't want to keep doing it. I had a super weird moment at Target when we were buying things for their apartment the way you would for a child going off to college, and I almost had to break to an argument between them about towels.

    I guess I have idealized their relationship in a way that ignored the reality, and now that those blinders are lifted, it's really shaken me.

    To top it all off, my dad has had cancer (GIST) for the past 16 years. It's been pretty stable and manageable, but he is scheduled to have surgery in a few weeks to remove a tumor that recently started growing. This will be the first surgery in the new city, though they have an excellent cancer hospital so he should be in good hands. I will be there for the surgery and the recovery, so that is a good time to be able to suggest things to them or help them with things.

    39 votes

  18. Comment on Timasomo 2026: Roll Call in ~creative.timasomo

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    You could use an engraving tool or a dremel to engrave the words, then paint them or stain them a different color.

    You could use an engraving tool or a dremel to engrave the words, then paint them or stain them a different color.

    2 votes

  19. Comment on Timasomo 2026: Roll Call in ~creative.timasomo

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    Best of luck on your dissertation. The meat of the writing on mine was done during three weeks where I visited my parents and basically locked myself in the attic bedroom. 10/10 would recommend.

    Best of luck on your dissertation. The meat of the writing on mine was done during three weeks where I visited my parents and basically locked myself in the attic bedroom. 10/10 would recommend.

    5 votes

  20. Comment on Trolley problem, again in ~humanities

    first-must-burn
    Link Parent
    Somewhat of an aside: if we ever reached the point where an autonomous car is sophisticated enough to predict these outcomes and make moral choices about its actions, we will have come so far...

    Somewhat of an aside: if we ever reached the point where an autonomous car is sophisticated enough to predict these outcomes and make moral choices about its actions, we will have come so far relative to the current technology that it would be nearly unrecognizable. Like the relationship between a middle ages wagons and the newest luxury sports car.

    Asimov's Naked Sun, Robots of Dawn, and Robots and Empire explore the nature of the problem when the robots become this sophisticated pretty well.