Guiding principles for the years to come
About why this is posted in ~health.mental
Preface: The YLE post is partly a reaction to the upheaval we're seeing in government data collection in the US as Trump's administration takes power. I think this upheaval is something those of us in the US are facing directly. And because of the US's place in the world, our problems are to some extent everyone's problems.I debated with myself about posting this to ~society or ~life, but what I'm seeking is principles that might be a guide to action beyond the current moment, even if, as may be the case, they arise out of this particular moment. Maybe this topic is inherently political, in which case, please feel free to move it or relabel it.
This was inspired by a recent post from Your Local Epidemiologist, where she lays out a set of guiding principles for the blog going forward:
- be a steady guide, trying to avoid whiplash
- providing important context - a broader perspective
- staying grounded in evidence
- being clear about what we know and what we don't know
- approaching issues with empathy
She also references the hazard + outrage framework for risk communication. I come from a safety / risk assessment background, so we usually think of risk = severity x likelihood. But as a communication framework, hazard + outrage seems pretty useful, as talking about risk to lay people is always difficult.
Thinking about one's guiding principles, writing them down, testing them in use, seems really useful to me as a way to be more proactive and less reactive in the way that I deal with the world. So then, the questions on my mind for the Tildes community are:
- what are your guiding principles?
- how did you come by them?
- how have they evolved over the years?
Since this is a text post, I'll put mine in another post below so the responses can thread under it. And since I can never resist a quote, I'll close with:
If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values, they're hobbies.
~ Jon Stewart
My principles are:
Honestly, the thing that has probably shaped these the most has been being a parent. Nothing forces you to look more closely at your behavior than having to explain it to a small child.
I was raised among people where the mentality was "If someone asks you for money, don't give it to them, they'll just use it to buy drugs". This is, of course, just one manifestation of a more general principle that might be summarized as, "It's easier to ignore misfortune or need if you paint it as a moral failing. Live in a way that you can be morally superior, and don't recognize the privilege that enables you to live that way." I've come a long way unwinding those patterns, though there is still more work to go. I think conflating morality with a conventionally successful life was one of the hardest things to shake off, and I'm probably always going to fight that on some level.
Thanks for bringing up this topic.
I just wanted to second your seventh item. "Even as we are kind and patient with others, we must also be kind to our own poor selves." I try to be mindful that my shortcomings could always be worse than they are. If I curse my faults and failings, I may find that other take their place, perhaps worse ones.
I try to set up reciprocal expectations with our kids: Mom and Dad won't always be the best, but the kids don't have to be either. There's a lot of joy to be found if we can be gentle with ourselves and each other, even when things are difficult or trying.
So far, so good.
I have three:
(3) Was probably the easiest to decide upon, all I needed was historical examples like Mathatma Gandhi and MLK Jr and the resolve to stand up for what I believe in. The hard bit was figuring out what to stand for, and (1) and (2) are what I've decided upon so far.
Society cannot exist without trust and cooperation, and they're in short supply right now. Everything from science to food safety requires us to trust and cooperate, but they are being eroded by the selfish and untrustworthy and it brings out the worst in us.
I don't know how to change other people, but if I can be embody / empower people with those two qualities in everything I do, then I'm fighting for a better future in the most fundamental way I can.
It took me the whole of my twenties to settle on these, and maybe they'll change in the future, but for the first time as an adult I'm confident in being me :D
I espouse the Baha'i Faith. My shortcomings as a Bahá'í are, to me, great in number and I am reluctant to call myself such, but I it is the Faith that I love, and "whither can a lover go but the land of his beloved"?
Anyway, I try to console myself by recalling a story where Bahá’u’lláh, the Prophet Founder of the Bahá'í Faith, was to have remarked:
For myself, I content myself with the knowledge that, although I fall far short of the standards called for in this Bahá'í Writings, I have also tried to evince the qualities that my Lord would want to see in me.
Setting aside the issue of religion, I think one could do worse than these: to be enthusiastic, to be joyful, to see things your own way, and to finish what you start.
We'll see, I suppose.
Thank you for sharing. My yoga teacher will often encourage us to "have a smile on your face that no person, no situation can take away." I think there is power in joy.