Mods - I didn't know where to put this or what to title and tag the post with.

This is mostly just venting and confessing.

There's a lot of back-story to this but I'll start at the trigger and work from there.

The short version

My boss is remote-only, so calls and WhatsApp messages are how we communicate. Wednesday he called me and started the conversation off by how tired he was today and why. To cut to the chase, he revealed to me, in detail, that he is a white supremacist, a holocaust denier, and potentially an actual Nazi. These aren't conclusions I am making based on piecing information together -- he outline each aspect at length while I silently listened.

Throughout the one-sided conversation, I tried to change the subject back to work (you know, since I am at work) numerous times and didn't respond to anything he was saying, but after the last part, I just hung up on him.

There is no excuse for me letting him spew this hateful bullshit and I am ashamed of myself. I normally have no problem with conflict and ostracizing myself by calling out hateful bullshit people say but I chose to be silent this time because $$$.

I've been going back and forth between being angry, ashamed, disappointed, and just sad since then. I knew my boss was a conspiracy nut because he's told me some of his wild beliefs before but none of them seemed hateful and I told him I wasn't into that sort of stuff. I don't know why he suddenly decided to unload all of this on me.

I know there is a reality where I don't let this ruin my job, but I don't think I am able to do this.

I need this job because I need the money. I moved across the country to work this job and now that I know who I am making money for, I have to quit. I have to find another job immediately. I can't afford to quit without having another job lined up. I had been looking for a better job for 2 full years before I moved here for this one and had no luck. I've done nothing but work since moving here for this job. I haven't made the time to try and make friends and instead just worked more and more.

I feel like there were signs (details not mentioned here) I ignored out of desperation. I feel defeated.

The only thing I know I must do is find a therapist and find a new job.

I’ve been mulling over this for the past few weeks.

Even though I haven’t drastically changed lives over the course of my lifetime, I still feel like I’ve had eras:

• As a young adult in the UK and around the world, figuring things out
• As a student in Canada
• As an employee in another province
• And now as an independent consultant in Switzerland and France

Although I still live a comfortable western lifestyle, I do feel these different eras are akin to different lives. 18 year old me wouldn’t guess what 30 or 40 year old me became. Not only professionally but also emotionally and day to day.

To delineate my eras, I consider career/professional matters but also outlook on life, lessons learnt, relationships, country/city of résidence (or lack thereof).

Do you have a similar feeling? Why or why not? And what do you consider you life or lives to have been so far?

** Edit: I updated my situation below in a comment but I'm gonna keep this post up to help others! **

About a month and a half ago I was put on PIP to step up at work. Feedback has been good over the last few weeks but not enough I guess. I was told I was terminated today.

The job market out there is rough right now and I'm not sure what to do. I know a lot of people here have faced similar situations and everything, so I'm wondering if there's any tips/tricks/thoughts anyone has.

I'm an Android developer and was working in fin-tech adjacent work if that's relevant.

Have you had a fulfilling mentorship, whether as mentor or mentee? How does one gain a mentor? Are there professional associations that one pays a fee to join?

Advice on career development wanted. Especially advice for introverted, neurodivergent women in business.

I want to hear a variety of stories, of how you became good at "career", beyond becoming competent at "work", and how you learned to be good not only at what you do but how you go about doing what you do.

Thank you for your time.

I had an interesting experience this week. Not all union meetings are interesting, even if they are useful. Yesterday was a pleasant exception where it was both useful and interesting. For the first time, I witnessed AI coming up as a topic of conversation. There is no secret that people fear losing their jobs due to AI automation, and sure enough I saw proof of it to the extent that the union may consider adding some clauses around protecting jobs from AI.

How is it at your workplace? Where I work, this year I witnessed a very strong push to use AI. Messaging around using AI at town halls, messaging around using AI in team meetings, articles on the intranet site, IT events around how to craft good prompts, etc. I would not be surprised if they tied some leaders' bonuses to how much they can get their teams to use AI. This part is quite annoying to me, not to mention deceitful. If I were a leader I'd straight up tell my team about it. I am not a leader - leaders are not part of the union to begin with.

The whole thing made me also think about how my colleagues use AI. It really is a mixed bag. I see everything from the person who runs a 2-line email through AI five times to finetune every word, to myself who only reach for AI when I am stuck and it's just much faster than a search engine/forums/videos to solve my issues (for example needing a script in a programming language I am not familiar with).

I work for a GIS company and our tools have not grown with our projects and client base. We use ArcPro personal geo databases (GDBs) for ALL data. We recently had a project where shit really hit the fan, one major issue was related to invalid values from poor version control. Everything uses personal GDBs and is just "version controlled" by dating filenames in Explorer. It would have been trivial to fix in a proper database. We also have operational constraints, like we can only have one person doing X job at a time since all the data for X job is in a personal GDB.

But I'm just an analyst. I've garnered some attention for my technical expertise beyond processing the data. PostGIS is a thing so it isn't as though we'd be recreating the wheel. How can I push for that sort of change? I'm thinking I can sell it using how much we lost on this project because of these avoidable failures. I'm also wondering if I can make this an opportunity to create a "database administrator" position for myself

Can you pivot to other tasks, or are you dead in the water? What about others? Your team/department? Tell us what its like for those minutes/hours.

How often does the internet drop for you (if at all)?

If you don't ever lose internet at work (lucky you!), answer hypothetically about what would happen.

I recently joined a tech company purportedly with a mission I believed in. Before joining I had some hesitance about how their product achieved that mission, but I liked most the people I interviewed with and the offer was good. Turns out despite being profitable it’s a dumpster fire of a company led by a terrible person who is actively hostile towards my coworkers and our customers. So, I’ve been looking for a new role to get out ASAP.

Some challenging factors: the market is tough right now and I don’t get as many interviews as I feel I should, SWE interviews remain extremely stupid, and occasionally my brain just shuts off during interviews despite practicing it a million times. So getting an offer isn’t a breeze.

The question I’m wrestling with is should I join another company whose product I’m very skeptical of? It has market traction and many of you may have heard of it, but it’s not very compelling and it’s in the blighted world of social media (which I largely don’t use). My fear is that a bad product may necessarily mean a bad company. The confusion for me is that every single person I’ve interviewed has been incredibly down to earth and genuinely fun to talk to. They all claim to respect work-life balance (it’s remote too) and it doesn’t seem like lip service; they pay very well too. The opportunity to learn skills I can’t learn in many jobs seems compelling.

The role itself is the title I want, but the focus I’m not wild about. It’s a bit more user growth focused than I’d typically want. The problem is my current job is wrecking my mental health and I’m desperate to get out.

I’m interviewing with two other companies with better missions I’d much prefer to work for but both are dragging their feet and lower pay; one pays pretty terrible. I’m rapidly approaching a point where I will likely have a single offer in hand with no guarantee that others will manifest.

Any thoughts or guidance on how to navigate this? I want to approach this as “a job is just a job” and clock in and clock out, but I’ve seen at my current role that is not possible as I carry the stress and despair into my free time. I desperately don’t want to join another toxic company, but I don’t want to use that as an excuse to stunt my career growth either.

Wanted to start a conversation to see how this idea lands among the folks of this online community.

I am a university-educated, full-stack web developer by vocation. I've put years into building an integrated understanding of the systems I use and I always opt to use the simplest tool for the job. As far as I know, my skillset is worth a lot of money.

Part of my trouble is that having a set price for my work means that I would be biasing my services towards people who can afford them. I would much rather work for the type of person who can't afford to pay me - this is why I quit my job at a consulting firm.

The best answer I've found is to ask for payment on a sliding scale. I think I would be comfortable asking for up to $100/hour, and going as low as $20 (approximate living wage where I am) unless someone legitimately cannot afford what I offer, in which case I can do the work for free if I feel like it.

I would like to organize payment around various checkpoints & deliverables. That way, my client can choose how much to pay for a given task and then revisit payment based on performance and efficiency.

What do you think, Tildeans? I bet y'all think I'm crazy and you're right. But would you hire me, if I was a real-life person in your community?

I went to a friend's print shop today. We've been friends for a while now, business associates even longer, and it's a small mom-and-pop print shop with two presses that I go to for all my small to mid-format printing needs. I'm a graphic designer, and sometimes I need a brochure, business cards or some smaller posters done. The business is well regarded, is cashflow-positive and has a strong local presence within my city.

However, said friend - the owner and sole employee - is getting tired of the work. They want to retire, in around two or three years, and that would mean closing down the shop. They're running it as the third owner now, and previous owners have been running it since 1970. So, I joked about maybe taking it over one day - and my friend was immediately interested. They said that that would take a load off their mind, and that it would be nice to have someone like me continue the legacy of this established store.

And, well, I gotta be honest with you, I really want to do it. The work is something I've done before (digital print, prepress, cut and finish printed products, printer maintenance and first and foremost graphic design), and my actual education was in graphic design. I'd be able to do both the craft of print production and offer more services like brand and web design to my prospective clients (which would be a value add to existing and new customers).

The thing is, I've never run a business. I'm not a business person, and I don't know the first thing about it. I know about how to deal with customers, how to budget my time and money, and how to work in an organised and precise manner, but I've never been a manager or a boss.

So, I guess, this is my question to the Tildesian hive mind: Is it doable? Is owning a business really that difficult if you know how to do the actual day-to-day operations well? Should I leave the safety of wage labour and try to make something of my own? Has any of you taken over a business or founded one, and if so, what are things I should know?

PS: I'm 25 years old and am from Central Europe.

I know if I posted that on Reddit, all the top answers would be something like "Money"or "It lets me survive" but I'm looking for something deeper than that.

I'm a teacher and school just started where I lived and I realize how much freedom the job gives me. I can considerably modify how my day will go as long as the students learn the curriculum. I love that freedom.

I also love the human nature of it. I get to know and see 100 kids develop every year, plus, I teach juniors and I've had a lot of my last year students stop by me to say hello and talk about their summer or their current teachers. It's fun having all these random positive conversations every day.

I get to learn a lot about people and about me. I love that growth.

What about you?

For example, I'm handy with a lot of stuff. I could change an outlet in the wall no problem. But if asked by an electrician what gauge Romex is safe for what amperage, or what color direct bury Romex is, I'd have no idea (from the knowledge I walk around with day to day).

I'm curious what other random facts people may know from their line of work that quality them as more knowledgeable than your average goose joe. Or to paraphrase, walking around knowledge people wouldn't know unless they googled it, or worked/were very knowledgeable in your field. And how many of them I (or others) might know.

To start from my job:

Q: Under what circumstances would one want to withhold the administration of vasopressors (Epinephrine) in a cardiac arrest?

A:

A long, complicated story, summarized: (apart from Tildes, on which I lurk) I swore off all social media years ago. Then my job required that I have an account on LinkedIn. I reconsidered, and attempted to make the least disclosive account possible in an effort to protect my privacy. Things aren't going well. Despite logging in with the correct credentials, on the same device, using the same browser; and with access to my signup email, and access to the phone I used to enroll, LinkedIn has flagged my account the second time I tried using it and now requires me to upload images of myself and my government ID to regain access to their cesspool. Are you familiar with their protocols and can share insights, so that if I start again I don't face the same problem?

I have read what LinkedIn says and I have read discussions on Reddit on the topic. LinkedIn says you can opt to "use your work email" or mail them an affidavit. These options were not given to me. Everyone else I have seen reporting facing this seems to have triggered the system by losing their login credentials or moving countries; what brought this upon me and can I avoid it?

1. Is it that I use a VPN, and it may have routed through a different IP address on the second login?
2. I use an email alias. Is LinkedIn purging accounts with email domains that offer aliases?
3. Is it a result of clearing cookies?
4. Is it easier to maintain a Google account (!) which LinkedIn allows as login without this ID thing coming up?

Please be gentle with your advice as I am kind of panicking.