kaffo's recent activity
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (August 2026) in ~health.mental
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Comment on Help selecting a mechanical keyboard in ~comp
kaffo Link ParentIf it's anything like the Das I had, it had a steel back plate and the plastic was rock solid. I felt like I could run it over with a main battle tank and it would survive. I really liked my Das,...If it's anything like the Das I had, it had a steel back plate and the plastic was rock solid. I felt like I could run it over with a main battle tank and it would survive.
I really liked my Das, but I moved away to a split keyboard after I got won over my a coworker.
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Comment on Is anyone watching Widows Bay? (Apple TV) in ~tv
kaffo Link ParentI was very surprised myself. It's extremely difficult to get the tone right when you're mixing horror and comedy yet they nail it. There's back to back scenes where they have some actually good...I was very surprised myself. It's extremely difficult to get the tone right when you're mixing horror and comedy yet they nail it.
There's back to back scenes where they have some actually good horror (with some fun references thrown in too!) with an actually good comedy moment and SOMEHOW the comedy doesn't take me out the horror. It's not even a speedbump.
Really excellent writing and direction. If you'd asked me before I'd have said that it wouldn't be possible to mix the two genres so well, especially as so many have tried and usually end up as pure parody. -
Comment on Reminder to myself that my employer does not give a shit about me in ~life
kaffo LinkUnfortunately it's the world we live in if you work for any business that has more than like 1000 employees. I honestly find it really difficult to not "be myself" at work, because I know if I'm...Unfortunately it's the world we live in if you work for any business that has more than like 1000 employees.
I honestly find it really difficult to not "be myself" at work, because I know if I'm just a genuine, cool dude it's going to come back and bite me in the ass.
My recent-ish confirmation that I'm doing the right thing was when my co-worker, who I genuinely wanted to be friends with because he is a really nice guy and we get on really well but I kept him at solid acquaintance, became my manager.The modern office workplace is fucking brutal and cut throat. I hate it. Is it better than doing a "real job"? Who knows!
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Comment on Boox Go 10.3 (gen II) Lumi: An Android tablet that's also, on top of that, an E-ink screen in ~tech
kaffo Link ParentThanks for the response! That's some crazy battery life, jeeze.Thanks for the response! That's some crazy battery life, jeeze.
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Comment on Boox Go 10.3 (gen II) Lumi: An Android tablet that's also, on top of that, an E-ink screen in ~tech
kaffo Link ParentI recently bought a Supernote Manta after asking Tildes and I love it. Writing on it is so satisfying and the experience is extremely well put together. I use it every day. It seems like you got a...I recently bought a Supernote Manta after asking Tildes and I love it. Writing on it is so satisfying and the experience is extremely well put together. I use it every day.
It seems like you got a dud pen with the Boox, did you get a replacement? If so what's the writing like on it if you tried it?
What do you think of the back light? I've read that back light can both destroy the battery, make the screen less clear and also harder to use.Have you tried using it as a notepad? Or it it just for your primary use of reading? I'd be interested to know how it functions as a notepad if you've used it as such.
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Comment on How do you live simply/save money? What does your lifestyle look like? in ~talk
kaffo LinkI agree with @creesch for the most part. But I'll throw in my two cents too. I'm European and I think the US in particular encourages us all to spend when we don't need to. The reality is, in my...I agree with @creesch for the most part. But I'll throw in my two cents too.
I'm European and I think the US in particular encourages us all to spend when we don't need to.
The reality is, in my opinion, you can be happy with whatever you have as long as you don't have you worry about the basic needs. Assuming you have food, shelter, water and you feel safe then anything above that is pure psychology at that point.
Personally I don't spent very much on things unless it's a one time purchase and I want it to go a long way. Today's economics are too focused around throwaway products that need replaced in 2 years, I'd rather pay more now if it will last 10+.
Otherwise it's all about what makes me happy. A beer with a friend or a weekend away somewhere out the house. It's priceless really, no matter if it's a cheap or expensive.The price on "stuff" that makes you happy I feel is a marketing scheme. Like diamonds. It's just a specific shiny rock that marketing put huge value on. What's the difference from ruby, or amythist or lab grown?
Sometimes the price tag makes sense and sometimes it doesn't. I suspect it takes some wisdom and research to understand the difference.
Maybe I'm not the best person to answer. I would place myself as firmly middle class and my salary supports me well enough. I don't worry about my finances but I also spend somewhat wisely.
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Comment on I wonder if years from now hand written code will be antique in ~tech
kaffo Link ParentI came here to say something like your comment but not quite. I also have the comparison to assembly and low level languages in mind but I think I see it a little differently. As time as gone on...I came here to say something like your comment but not quite.
I also have the comparison to assembly and low level languages in mind but I think I see it a little differently.
As time as gone on new tools and languages have been created and widely adopted, yes as hardware has improved too.
We had a step change where developers were once writing op codes and along came C and other low level languages. A time saver and devs could do more with less. People 100% complained at the time that it was better to write in assembly than C.
Since then we've had higher level languages, source control, IDEs and intellisense. Does no one remember when intellisense first dropped and every developer thought they'd get lazy and forget how to code?
I think AI is just another tool in the chain. We might end up writing less code, maybe no code? A developers job will change, even slightly, as the tools are useful.
My personal opinion is they are much more effective at non-coding tasks, but the right person can steer AI to write reasonable code, and it should get better and cheaper at it as time goes on.Some developers will quit, because they won't want to use the new tools. Most will just adapt and live with the new way of working.
I think, eventually, writing an application end to end with no AI input will be either:
- Passion project, like the low file size games you see, or people experimenting and having fun. I suppose you'd call this artisanal in the development world
- Contractors and consultants offering a "human first" service for a stupid price and actually getting companies to hire them based off some marketing bullshit
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Comment on Travel tips for Ghana/West Africa? in ~travel
kaffo Link ParentOp really has a point. I went in the off season last year and it was still PACKED. Pretty much every "tourist attraction" had velvet rope for long queues filled with tourists. It honestly was like...Op really has a point. I went in the off season last year and it was still PACKED. Pretty much every "tourist attraction" had velvet rope for long queues filled with tourists. It honestly was like Disney.
There is a good reason, I'd say the city is like the quintessential "European city". But if you've seen a bunch of cathedrals and museams filled with stolen Jewish art, it's more of the same really. -
Comment on An oil boom, a supermarket opportunity and decades of adaptation transformed the taco from a Tex-Mex import into one of Norway's most beloved traditions in ~food
kaffo Link ParentHaha thanks for the advice! Unfortunately I live in Trondheim. But I'll keep it in mind for next time I'm in Oslo or I want to tell my friends where to get good food!!Haha thanks for the advice! Unfortunately I live in Trondheim. But I'll keep it in mind for next time I'm in Oslo or I want to tell my friends where to get good food!!
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Comment on An oil boom, a supermarket opportunity and decades of adaptation transformed the taco from a Tex-Mex import into one of Norway's most beloved traditions in ~food
kaffo LinkAs someone who comes from the UK, so therefore has zero authority to comment on Mexican cuisine, taco sauce and taco spice in Norway is not something I have come to enjoy, but I loved Mexican food...As someone who comes from the UK, so therefore has zero authority to comment on Mexican cuisine, taco sauce and taco spice in Norway is not something I have come to enjoy, but I loved Mexican food in the UK.
There's a load of other decent food here, though a lot of it isn't exceptional, it's mostly functional.
We aren't in Italy or France with fresh fruit and vegetables basically on the door step.
But man, taco sauce is so boring. Even the most "hot" taco sauce doesn't have depth to it. At least the ones I've tried.
And yes, it's completely bizzare to see as an outsider. There's whole isles in every store dressed up for tacofredag and they'll empty the shelves every week!It's wild!
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Comment on Looking for feedback and just art criticism of my work in ~creative
kaffo Link ParentI have similar thoughts, maybe not quite the same, but similar lol. I agree the presentation online with photos really didn't help. My first click I felt very underwhelmed on both pieces. Then I...I have similar thoughts, maybe not quite the same, but similar lol.
I agree the presentation online with photos really didn't help. My first click I felt very underwhelmed on both pieces. Then I read the descriptions and thought "stitches? What?" and zoomed in (on mobile mind you) and realized the work that had been done. That immediately gave the piece more depth in a lot of ways! Definitely would have noticed in real life!
Another thing to note, I'm colour blind and I really struggled to see the thread in Gash, even when I knew it was there. Not sure if that's something you'd consider as an artist as a designer would consider lol.
I admit, I am no art critic. I have no education in the subject and my knowledge is limited, so any criticism beyond please consider "off the street".
I enjoyed the vibe of both pieces and especially the story around the creation. I would have enjoyed seeing this in a gallery.
Though I agree with some others there that there's something missing, I'm not sure what. I don't think that the pieces need more but I think they need the smallest amount of depth, or pop. Something that comes to mind is a couple of glittery or sparkly threads to highlight the stitching and make it pop. Though maybe this would ruin the "feel" I'm not sure!Could also be that there's too much organisation in these pieces too. I feel like both Gash and Bound are raw pieces, trying to dig up some deeper emotions from flat images. But the stitches are very orderly, straight, most people here confused them at a glance for being part of the image. More chaos with the stitches could be more impactful and bring more personalty to them?
Anyway, thanks for sharing! Sorry for riding on this comment lol.
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Comment on Introductions | July 2026 in ~talk
kaffo LinkWelcome new people! Tildes is a wonderful corner of the internet. The humans here are some of the most thoughtful and interesting people you could hope to meet! My addition to the advice thing is,...Welcome new people!
Tildes is a wonderful corner of the internet. The humans here are some of the most thoughtful and interesting people you could hope to meet!My addition to the advice thing is, sometimes tildes will ebb and flow. There are days, or weeks, where there are either too many threads and comments to read, or very few.
When I first joined I thought the periods of down time might be signs of the site dying, and the activity signs of growth.But it's just like that! I got used to it and I enjoy the very organic feel to it. You can see the community actually buzz around a few topics and the activity around it. It's not reddit, insta or TikTok where you'll get basically infinite scroll every day!
Some have said this too. I think it's in the rules. But there's a culture of not commenting unless you have something to add too. Which can be weird coming from other social media.
I read a lot of the life and support threads and will comment if I can, but many of them I don't feel like I can add to, either because someone else has already posted an excellent reply or I just don't have the knowledge or experience to give good advice.Anyway, hope you like your stay!
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Comment on Obsidian Entertainment reportedly lays off a quarter of staff, cancels multiple projects, and begins work on new Fallout game in ~games
kaffo Link ParentIt really is the monkey's paw, because if they are just being told to make it and don't want to make it, it's probably going to be completely fine at best.It really is the monkey's paw, because if they are just being told to make it and don't want to make it, it's probably going to be completely fine at best.
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Comment on Of course viewers are giving up on Netflix shows in ~tv
kaffo LinkI'm not surprised at all. Others have said similar, they focus too hard on the statistics and not on the actual art/media. That plus the fact there are like 2 billion other streaming services now,...I'm not surprised at all. Others have said similar, they focus too hard on the statistics and not on the actual art/media.
That plus the fact there are like 2 billion other streaming services now, no-one is paying for Netflix every month.
I won't lie, I completely gave up a few years ago and refused to keep paying for so many services for the handful of shows I wanted to watch. And I will not spend my time and energy juggling subscriptions.
So yeah, I just setup stremio with debrid, and it's been an excellent service for the most part.I swear though, if someone actually managed to get all the services under one payment, even if they were still separate apps but I could have one sub at a reasonable price, I'd do it. But no way when you expect me to manage that all myself for some media.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (July 2026) in ~health.mental
kaffo (edited )LinkHonestly, right now is a huge mix of emotions and I'm finding it difficult to sort through them all. There's a long thread with a lot of detail about the lead up to where I am now I posted on...Honestly, right now is a huge mix of emotions and I'm finding it difficult to sort through them all.
There's a long thread with a lot of detail about the lead up to where I am now I posted on tildes (check my profile) if you're interested or if you already read it then you're up to date!
I'm in a new city. I like Trondheim, I have already knocked it out the park by getting 3 (maybe 4!) phone numbers of people I can try to make friends with. Not everyone is going to work, but I am really happy with the results so far.
I suppose I feel like there's so much right now, it's overwhelming. I'm in a new city, in a new apartment, with new stuff. My job is a mess, it's threatening to become extremely bad any moment now but I dont have the time or energy to navigate it or try to move. I'm trying to be social by speaking to people, meeting new people, going to events and stuff. Some of it is really fun, others are really draining.
Ontop of all of this I'm on a medicine plan for Ritalin. I'm trying different dosages at different times. Some days I feel incredible, I have so much confidence and energy. Then others I'm dazed or back to feeling my high anxiety levels or I get the complete inability to start anything or I'm totally cooked and my actions + words are really put of character.
This is making things really difficult. I'm trying to sit with my feelings, why do I feel like this? And every day I've got a completely different set of stimuli AND medication. I feel like a mess.
It doesn't help that I'm getting bored really quickly, which I think is the drugs. I can't sit in the apartment for any length of time without wanting to do something. And that's exhausting. To some extent I feel like I've forgotten (or I never learned how to?) relax properly. Like what do I do to relax?? Watching TV on the sofa only keeps me busy for like an hour or two, then I'm done. That's enough TV.
Video games are not relaxing, they are a distraction. I can play something for hours and pass the time, but I come out feeling tired because I was focusing on something for a bunch of hours.Exercise might be the answer here honestly. Not a problem I had before! I'm going to try and go swimming this week and see if I can burn off some of this energy that's driving me insane, then maybe I can sit the fuck down.
In the huge, swirling mix of emotions which I am struggling to sort through, I keep craving physical intamacy, but not sex.
I want to cuddle someone, tell them they look pretty, have them do the same to me. But I'm not ready in the slightest for a relationship, no way. The idea of a one night stand feels so gross to me too. It matters to me that the person actually gives a shit.When I moved, I joined "the apps" for a couple of days because I was so hype. I felt amazing, I was so ready to dive into the game. I matched some people and then realized it was a horrible idea, I was not ready, I need a lot more time to settle.
Still I spoke to one woman I matched with and she seemed nice, we met yesterday and agreed to just keep it friendly, she's also having a rough time at the moment. Now, I am not amazing at the flirting game or anything, but my "she's into me" alarm went off, even though we agreed to just be friendly. And I am slightly regretting getting this far, as it's another temptation I don't think I need right now. The sensible thing is to stay friends while we are both not ready and have no expectations. But now I've got it on my mind and it's another thing which I shouldn't really be thinking about!I'm also background worried about learning the language and finding a more permanent place to live, but I know I shouldn't be worrying about that right now. But it still crossed my mind.
I am (ironically) finding it difficult to focus. Things feel like they are moving quickly and if I don't act I'm going to miss out and I don't think that's actually true.
Sorry for the chaos post, maybe it matches the way I feel! I mostly wrote this to try and get my thoughts and feelings on paper, which did help a little. If you have any thoughts or suggestions I'd like to hear them, maybe there's something there for the objective observer!
Edit: I forgot to say. I've been looking for a therapist to speak to and I've found several which are both nearby and have experience in the areas I'm looking to explore. However in Norway (and some other European countries) pretty much everyone is on holiday in July, including health care professionals. So no therapy for you when in summer!
I want to talk to someone, I feel like I've got a lot on my mind that's ready to offload. But another month (at least) feels like it might as well another life time.
I'll be patient though. I know I'll get there and it will take time, but it's frustrating sitting here today waiting! -
Comment on Anyone had experience with Element and making friends on there? in ~tech
kaffo Link ParentI want to support @MimicSquid s reply, please be very careful where you draw the line between friend and support. I'm the kind of friend who's very caring, understanding and avaliable. I've been...I want to support @MimicSquid s reply, please be very careful where you draw the line between friend and support.
I'm the kind of friend who's very caring, understanding and avaliable. I've been on receiving end of becoming various people's therapists or other form of support on quite a number of occasions and it can completely destroy the friendship.
I try my best to support my friends and they get my energy when they need it. But if the relationship becomes me having to support them and we never do anything actually friendly... What's the point for me?
I've had various people who were really good friends turn to me for support full time, then when I say "OK look that's too much, we need to have some time where we just hang out and do something fun" they turn hostile because they feel like they are getting robbed of their support line.So yes. Please be careful. Seek professional help if you need it.
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Comment on I need more hilariously awful pick up lines to make my wife roll her eyes at me in ~talk
kaffo Link ParentHaha phone posting, right before bed and not bothering to re-read. The perfect combo.Haha phone posting, right before bed and not bothering to re-read. The perfect combo.
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Comment on I need more hilariously awful pick up lines to make my wife roll her eyes at me in ~talk
kaffo (edited )LinkYou go to the bar and you ask for a glass of water. Then you walk up to the beautiful woman you would like to talk to and throw the glass on the ground at her feet. "Well that's the ice broken, my...You go to the bar and you ask for a glass of water.
Then you walk up to
your targetthe beautiful woman you would like to talk to and throw the glass on the ground at her feet."Well that's the ice broken, my name is kaffo"
(a friend actually did this once)
Related story that doesn't really work for the cheesy lines. I knew a girl in university who went to a club and some dude wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered in her ear "your eyes are as beautiful as an African
subsetsunset" and she turned around and said "MATE MY EYES ARE FUCKING GREEN". -
Comment on My partner says our relationship has always felt suffocating, but she does not know what she wants. What would you do? in ~life
Here's a recap of the last update if you didn't read any of my other posts:
The Bad
I'm still recovering from my previous relationship, I'm aware I'm not over my ex yet. The emotions there and the residual feelings are extremely weird. I mean the relationship was extremely weird and I've thought about it enough that I'm getting sick of it. This week I've felt better and found that she (and the relationship) have sprung to my mind less often, but it's still there and I suspect it will be a while before I get to enjoy that blissful moment where I realise "Oh I haven't thought about my ex in ages!".
My life is still not settled yet and it bothers me sometimes. I get that it's early, but I'm still trying to find a routine that suites me and I'm keeping myself busy. Sometimes I feel rushed/out of energy and I end up frustrated at myself for pushing myself so hard. I've not yet achieved the balance and I know it will come.
Last month I contacted 2 therapists during the holiday period and I'm waiting for them to come back. I think it should be this week or next week. I really want to start talking to someone professionally and it feels like it's been years with the density of the last 2 months.
Work has been terrible, I honestly don't want to talk about it because it's depressing. But it's turning into a lot of work for not much reward. There is some light on the horizon next year, but it's looking to be at least 4 months of misery before then.
The Good
The best thing about all of this is finding a good social circle. It feels like it's genuinely putting me back together. Out of pure luck I stumbled into a reasonably large group of people who, by extension, have their own friends. Obviously I don't get on with every single person there, but the vast majority are really nice and I feel like I fit in too! I genuinely don't think I've had such a strong social circle ever which is crazy to think I just landed here and these were the first people I met. It's a nice, reasonably diverse group too which I love. I've now got 4 people's direct phone numbers and I feel totally good arranging things with them. Plus I've been invited to stuff too! I got invited to a Birthday party last Friday and it was a really fun evening.
Medication for ADHD has been honestly life changing, I said I would write about it in full at some point and I will. The short version is that day to day I now have the motivation to actually start and complete all the things I've always wanted to do. My social anxiety has also gone from baseline 8/10 to 2/10, which is completely incredible. The sequence of: "I would like to see my friend and chat over a beer", pick up the phone, arrange it, then go. Has gone from getting stuck at step 2, because of anxiety, I forget or get distracted to just doing it every time and it's wonderful.
While there is a lot going on in my life, and there's a lot of messy emotions, it's triggered a real sense of change. I've realised I don't know myself well enough. My sense of "self" is quite muddy. So I've given myself a short list of tasks/questions to answer as a goal. I feel good about it! It's something that I know I've been missing for a long time but I was never sure how to answer. Now I've sat down and I've given myself some direction (and I want to talk to a professional about it too) I expect to start being able to answer those questions in the coming weeks/months.
The Confusing
Knowing myself better and what I need/want is really important. And not knowing these things has caused me so many problems in my life.
I tried having a one night stand (for the first time!) 2 weeks ago and it was... fine! I'm really glad I went but I had a lot of thought and feelings to shift through afterwards. It's left me thinking about my emotional needs, my physical needs... I helped answer some questions then raised a few more lol. I've taken myself off the market for now though. I need a clear head before I start having any kind of interaction with anyone like that TBH.
Another new thing that's on my mind which is quite difficult is trying to imagine myself from another person's point of view. My look, style, vibes, energy, way I talk. When someone meets me, what is their first impression? I want to understand that aspect better. It's easy to change look and style if what I'm doing now is giving off the wrong message. I don't plan to change or mask "myself" but if I do identify problematic things, then I can think about if I do want to do something about it or not.
One thing I've already identified is when I am stressed or nervous (like a date!) I become EXTREMELY intense. Becoming aware of this makes it so clear why I can get a first date, then not a second date. So part of my checklist is to chill the fuck out! More exposure, less pressure on social interactions like dates and interviews and more focus on the fun. All good shit.
Working on myself has made me really consider my passions. I'm not passionate about anything really and it sucks. I'm searching for that. Likewise I'm also being much more open minded and re-testing sexuality. I've done it before, though the landscape of sexuality is different again in 2026. I have found that I like putting a label on people as much any more and the idea of considering each individual on a case by case basis feels quite liberating.
Conclusion
There is a lot going on right now. I have a long way to go! But right now things are mostly good, I'm pretty happy! My life goal is still to find a long term partner and I can see myself in the medium/long term finding a really great/compatible partner. At least sitting writing this just now, I feel like I have the patience to wait for the right person. Something I have not had before, I was deathly frightened about dying alone!
Instead, I'm going to have a really cool life and I'm going to work to be happy alone. Like genuinely. THEN I can open the door to let another person into my life long term.