chocobean's recent activity
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Comment on Tilderinos who split after long (10–15 years) relationships: what led to it and how did it happen? in ~life.men
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentYikes man wanted his pound of flesh. I get it, she crushed his heart and he wanted at least this organ go flush out the toxicities from his life, but he would have been better off claiming due to...Yikes man wanted his pound of flesh. I get it, she crushed his heart and he wanted at least this organ go flush out the toxicities from his life, but he would have been better off claiming due to long recovery or whatever, his contribution was towards shared matrimonial earning power and so she owe him wages.
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentI dont know how the middle man goes with kidneys; we had a lawyer involved and spell out exactly how contact will go for years to come. But you could always offer a new email address that you...I dont know how the middle man goes with kidneys; we had a lawyer involved and spell out exactly how contact will go for years to come. But you could always offer a new email address that you would only use for this purpose, and then you take a bit longer to sit with that decision. I think what you're doing is much much much better ask than what I did, I'm really excited for you and I hope you get matched soon and that it's a Huuuuuge chain that gets a bunch of folks all at once :)
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentYeah I can see the C Section really needing a good one plus a backup one for folks who arent that curious. I'll ask, but it'll be a mobile collection bus (?) so they may be very "field" type and...Yeah I can see the C Section really needing a good one plus a backup one for folks who arent that curious.
I'll ask, but it'll be a mobile collection bus (?) so they may be very "field" type and not as well equipped. :P
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentNGL I thought the appended image would be of your old kidney on a metal tray. But they don't remove huh, just append new, I think. For those shy about clicking, it is a data graph.NGL I thought the appended image would be of your old kidney on a metal tray. But they don't remove huh, just append new, I think.
For those shy about clicking, it is a data graph.
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link Parent"one kidney voucher" being enumerated as part of divorce proceedings."one kidney voucher" being enumerated as part of divorce proceedings.
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentWhat if there's a curtain, and they do a bunch of prods to BOTH my arms, one in full view where I see there are no horrid plastic tubes, and the other behind a curtain? I feel like I would be...What if there's a curtain, and they do a bunch of prods to BOTH my arms, one in full view where I see there are no horrid plastic tubes, and the other behind a curtain? I feel like I would be quite okay with this. Do they have a curtain option? Do you think if I ask if they could tie up and poke or even syringe my other arm without plastic tubes they would do it?
Your proposal of there being possibly a t-shirt is also very motivating. Even if it's one I have to buy myself lol
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentOooh thank you for the links -- I hope they go on to help someone else make these decisions! Me? For my egg donation I chose to be a "known donor" because I want my recipient to be able to get...Oooh thank you for the links -- I hope they go on to help someone else make these decisions!
Me? For my egg donation I chose to be a "known donor" because I want my recipient to be able to get important health updates if I discovered genetic information about myself that would be relevant for my genetic kin. And also for the information for my child, about which one is the one person on the planet they cannot marry and have children with.
My curiosity would prompt me to say yes to everything. If I had freely acknowledged risk to myself in low probability, then I also understand there is a risk of an unfortunate outcome: there'd be sadness of course, but I don't know that it would result in harm for me beyond the massive disappointment. All we can do in this life is give someone else a chance, and in this case they very clearly sincerely want it as well. Biology is hard and life on this speedy rock is a miracle, all of it. With my donation, not all of the embryos became babies. Maybe it could have been that none of them would. Maybe the procedure kills the intended mother. But I think that the same "grace" that I extended to myself, that I can peacefully accept if I do this worst case scenario I die, I also need to extend to my potential kidney recipient too : that despite all of us trying super hard, it just doesn't work. If I came of of this with life long adverse health affects, it's not my recipient's fault; i need to then extend the same forgiveness to.... the universe, that equally, if the outcome isn't good for my recipient, it isn't my fault.
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Comment on Anyone else have Inattentive ADHD? in ~health.mental
chocobean Link ParentNot to engage with any of the other task is to ensure at least one thing gets get. How to get the rest of them done has a whole bunch of other associated techniques. Example, once your one thing...Not to engage with any of the other task is to ensure at least one thing gets get.
How to get the rest of them done has a whole bunch of other associated techniques. Example, once your one thing is done, pick up another and do that to completion. Repeat until you walk around house and you literally don't see any other stray tasks. I haven't gotten there yet.
There's schedules and reminders and routines etc which none of them work for me. So far. That's where the actual fix is but I don't know how to bridge into that yet. I think the idea is that you spend time rejecting interruptions, including bad ones ("phone!") as well as well intended ones ("let me write down these other tasks and make a list!") , that you actually complete tasks. And complete another. And another until your whole dang house is clean and organized and now you can set a schedule for the next iteration. Again, I've never even been within one solar day of this.
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Comment on Anyone else have Inattentive ADHD? in ~health.mental
chocobean Link ParentFor me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped...For me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped listening to you as well, I am making semi-coherent mimic responses only.
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Comment on Anyone else have Inattentive ADHD? in ~health.mental
chocobean Link ParentYeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse...Yeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse women. My extended health plan covers a little bit too, btw, under OT.
It's like, if OT exists for the elderly on how to use a stove or remember to take meds or safely locking the door without stove on etc, they have them for other kinds of memory / attention / goal setting / following through / shame-guilt-procrastination management etc.
One of the most useful advice: do non-preferred task first each day, and DO NOT "optimize" by switching task --- it is paramount to finish first even if it's completely more efficient to "let me just slip this in alongside". Don't do it. Finish the one first however many you just notice on the way you can add.
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Comment on Anyone else have Inattentive ADHD? in ~health.mental
chocobean Link ParentPresent. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young. Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be...Present. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young.
Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be filled with positive changes, kindness to yourself and healing.
PS: executive functioning occupational therapy helped me a lot.
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentOr like, itd be nice if they can do "categorical vouchers" such as "my current partner, my living children, and any of my nieces and nephews who need one first, and any of my siblings/siblings of...Or like, itd be nice if they can do "categorical vouchers" such as "my current partner, my living children, and any of my nieces and nephews who need one first, and any of my siblings/siblings of my current partner who are under the age of 70" because life changes, sometimes dramatically
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentAnswer from Canada's blood.ca My next question is then, 0.3% higher than general population or compared against others who have similar health profiles? Because one needs to already be fairly...Answer from Canada's blood.ca
T/F: A kidney donor may require dialysis in their lifetime.
True.
Although it is very unlikely that a donor will require dialysis in their lifetime, there is a very small risk that this could happen. Current research indicates 0.3% or less of those who donate a kidney will need dialysis in their lifetime. It is recommended that kidney donors see a physician yearly for a general health check-up and testing to ensure their remaining kidney is working well. Donors are encouraged to have a healthy diet, exercise and keep a healthy weight. This way, any changes in kidney function can be caught early and managed with you.
My next question is then, 0.3% higher than general population or compared against others who have similar health profiles? Because one needs to already be fairly healthy to begin with.
Also, I just looked into it further, and sadly, Canadian donation does not grant potential queue boost to family members =..=
BUT!! Congratulations on your approval!!! This is very highly exciting news!! So what's the next step, waiting for match? Will you ever learn any volunteered info from recipients? Is there a sort of status you can tick to say yes/no you'd like to receive letters or information from anyone downchain of you? Is there a special chat forum you get access to now or after your donation?
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentI can't help but laugh from the ridiculousness of our shared fear -- here you are, literally giving up a whole organ, with quite the palpable excitement, and blood donation is a nope :') thank you...I can't help but laugh from the ridiculousness of our shared fear -- here you are, literally giving up a whole organ, with quite the palpable excitement, and blood donation is a nope :') thank you for that, and maybe if there's enough of us maybe they will consider gassing us first. I know they would get a regular supply from me if they did
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentI know a little bit of what you mean -- there's something primal beyond good reasoning and the desire to save others, when it comes to our bodies. Eg, it had taken me a very long time to sign up...I know a little bit of what you mean -- there's something primal beyond good reasoning and the desire to save others, when it comes to our bodies.
Eg, it had taken me a very long time to sign up for donating blood and it is only by reading posts by @kywyre and others repeatedly that I finally pushed myself to, and I'm really dreading it.
Click to expand potential mild body horror thought experiment
It makes no bloody sense at all: if they promised to knock me out and take blood and whatever they can safely harvest, I would have signed up twenty years ago. It's the irrational idea of the little plastic tube being attached to my skin while I'm awake that's stopped me this whole time.
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean (edited )LinkI had seriously thought about doing this, but watching my very anxiety ridden partner go through with and sign my papers for my altruistic egg donation which specifically includes the possibility...I had seriously thought about doing this, but watching my very anxiety ridden partner go through with and sign my papers for my altruistic egg donation which specifically includes the possibility of my dying, when they said they would very much strongly prefer I didn't donate eggs again the second time I matched with intended parents, I couldn't put them through with kidney.
Question: did you look into "are my chances of having renal failure higher now that I only have one left" ---- when I looked into this, my doctor at the time mentioned this was a risk factor, and again, I determined that although it is an acceptable risk for me, I can't put my partner and young child through this.
Edit: but!! If family priority list in Canada is a thing that might just be my "sell" to pre-emptively put them at the top of the list lol
Edit Edit: no Canada does not give any buffs to family members of donors. Dang.
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Comment on Approved for altruistic kidney donation in ~health
chocobean Link ParentIn OP's first post they specified even better boon: And belowIn OP's first post they specified even better boon:
If anyone in your family needs a kidney, they are at the very top of the list for a living donor kidney [3]
And below
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Comment on What was a small but bright moment of your day? in ~life
chocobean LinkToday? I was looking at houses and the first house had all kinds of cute mushrooms: there was a fairy ring, some sort of parasols with perfectly flat tops, cute puff balls. There was a very cute...Today? I was looking at houses and the first house had all kinds of cute mushrooms: there was a fairy ring, some sort of parasols with perfectly flat tops, cute puff balls. There was a very cute squirrel: tiny, stripes, exactly like Chip and Dale except with fluffy long tail.
Recurring: my flock of white emden geese would sit like tiny swan boats on the lush green grass, wind rustling the fine green blades, and when they, prey animals, feel safe and contended enough to fall asleep together like that in the sun, it just exudes tranquility. If they're awake, sometimes one will sort of cock its head and look skyward. Follow its gaze and you will find maybe an extremely distant plane, or a wild bird soaring way way way up in the sky. If multiple geese are looking, quick, it might be a cool raptor!
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Comment on What was a small but bright moment of your day? in ~life
(You didn't specify that "divorce" applies here , but in many countries, long term cohabitation has tax / financial implications the same way divorce does, just adding key words to attract more experiences)