Merry's recent activity

  1. Comment on Steam Deck production update (it's good news) in ~games

    Merry
    Link Parent
    Civ V on a coast-to-coast flight with a big battery back up made the time melt away.

    Civ V on a coast-to-coast flight with a big battery back up made the time melt away.

    2 votes
  2. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    Merry
    Link Parent
    To me, it looks like a great game once it goes on sale after the bugs are fixed. <$20 and I will bite for it. I never played SR4 but I enjoyed SR3 a lot.

    To me, it looks like a great game once it goes on sale after the bugs are fixed. <$20 and I will bite for it. I never played SR4 but I enjoyed SR3 a lot.

    3 votes
  3. Comment on Moondog - Do Your Thing (1979) in ~music

    Merry
    Link
    Moondog showed up on my Spotify Discover playlist this week and have found his music to be amazing. He had a fascinating life: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moondog

    Moondog showed up on my Spotify Discover playlist this week and have found his music to be amazing. He had a fascinating life:

    From the late 1940s until 1972, Moondog lived as a street musician and poet in New York City, playing in midtown Manhattan, eventually settling on the corner of 53rd or 54th Street and Sixth Avenue in Manhattan.[4] He was rarely if ever homeless, and maintained an apartment in upper Manhattan and had a country retreat in Candor, New York, to which he moved full-time in 1972.[9] He partially supported himself by selling copies of his poetry and his musical philosophy. In addition to his music and poetry, he was also known for the distinctive fanciful "Viking" cloak that he wore. Already bearded and long-haired, he added a Viking-style horned helmet to avoid the occasional comparisons of his appearance with that of Christ or a monk,[10] as he had rejected Christianity in his late teens. He developed a lifelong interest in Nordic mythology, and maintained an altar to Thor in his country home in Candor.[9]

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moondog

    3 votes
  4. Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health

    Merry
    Link Parent
    That's pretty much it. Challenge yourself to run longer/or faster every now and then. But as long as you do it often, you will get better. Listen to your body, don't overdo it, and be patient...

    I need to figure out training and how best to build up endurance. I've been focusing on keeping my heart rate in the improving aerobic fitness area (allegedly according to my Polar monitor lol).

    That's pretty much it. Challenge yourself to run longer/or faster every now and then. But as long as you do it often, you will get better. Listen to your body, don't overdo it, and be patient during the plateaus.

    3 votes
  5. Comment on What's an underrated, cancelled, or largely forgotten show that you really love? in ~tv

    Merry
    Link Parent
    I'm rewatching Futurama now but in Ukrainian! It is probably one of the few shows I have seen rewatched once every two years. I enjoy the early episodes the best.

    I'm rewatching Futurama now but in Ukrainian! It is probably one of the few shows I have seen rewatched once every two years. I enjoy the early episodes the best.

  6. Comment on MoviePass to relaunch on Labor Day in beta form with pricing ranging from $10-$30 a month in ~movies

    Merry
    Link Parent
    Regal Unlimited too. I just cancelled my membership after a year though. Turns out I really don't enjoy watching movies as much as I thought I would. But it definitely took the pressure off of...

    They changed the business though. We got AMC A-List from it.

    Regal Unlimited too. I just cancelled my membership after a year though. Turns out I really don't enjoy watching movies as much as I thought I would. But it definitely took the pressure off of staying at a movie if I didn't like it. There have been a few times in the past year where I just got up and left if I wasn't feeling it.

    5 votes
  7. Comment on What's your unpopular food opinion or idiosyncrasy? in ~food

    Merry
    Link
    I enjoy non-alcoholic beer. I used to be a heavy drinker about 6 years ago on the weekends and decided to give a non-alcoholic one a try. The first one I opened, I knocked back like it was a...

    I enjoy non-alcoholic beer. I used to be a heavy drinker about 6 years ago on the weekends and decided to give a non-alcoholic one a try.

    The first one I opened, I knocked back like it was a regular old beer and I was me 6 years ago. Low and behold, I didn't get drunk (surprise) but it kind of made me feel, good? Like it took me back to that headspace when I was drinking and would be relaxed but without any alcohol. Like a strong placebo effect. Maybe one day if I keep drinking them, I can move away from that mindset of needing to chug a beer as quick as possible and just learn to sip on one and enjoy it.

    Although I will say, I had one after a work out and it was incredible. Turns out non-alcoholic beer is a decent post-workout drink and some olympic athletes utilize it. To me it is so refreshing on a nice hot day and it gives me all the pleasure without any of the drunkeness. I love it.

    5 votes
  8. Comment on What are you battling with right now? in ~talk

    Merry
    Link Parent
    Thank you for the kind words, they are greatly appreciated

    Thank you for the kind words, they are greatly appreciated

    3 votes
  9. Comment on What are you battling with right now? in ~talk

    Merry
    Link
    Well, I haven't actually told anyone in my personal life so this might be a good opportunity to type stuff out and get it off my chest. In fact, I don't think anyone knows any of what I will talk...

    Well, I haven't actually told anyone in my personal life so this might be a good opportunity to type stuff out and get it off my chest. In fact, I don't think anyone knows any of what I will talk about below. I just don't have the relationships in my life to talk intimate details with parents or friends.

    About two weeks ago, I made the decision to end my long-term relationship with my partner. We sat down to each lunch together and she knew something was bothering me. We had talks like these for years, where she felt something was off, like we weren't really dating but rather really good best friend/roommates. It has been nearly a year since she regularly slept in my bed. We hadn't had sex in months. She asked if it wouldn't make more sense for us to be best friends, and I said it would. The past two weeks have been rough. At first she was accepting, then she was angry at me. I did get a cup thrown at me and her dinner thrown against the wall. She has cried nearly every day. I haven't cried at all, which is a bit concerning. Tomorrow, I am leaving to spend time with my dad for two weeks across the country. He doesn't know why, he just assumes I'm visiting him for pleasure. In that time, she is going to live and pack what she wants to take to her temporary apartment in Long Beach. I'm going to come back and drive her and the dog down and then I will be alone for the next two months while I decide whether to live near her and we continue to be best friends who occasionally see other, as well as share dog custody, or if I go my own path.

    I can't say that this wasn't a long time coming because it kind of has, and I feel both of us are at fault for that. For the past five years, she and I have really been the main, primary interaction with each other, and especially the last couple of years with COVID and us both working remote. Early on in our relationship, we decided to quit our jobs and move across the country together to start a new life in CA. We got here and both have been steadily employed the entire time. However, when we got to California, our relationship had a monumental shift when we left the romantic phase. Her life up to being in this relationship was not all that great. She had a history of sexual abuse as a child, a narcissist mother, and issues with escapism. During her 20's she became an alcoholic and was addicted to heroine. She had a mental breakdown after taking bath salts. Her longest on-again, off-again relationship ultimately ended with the guy overdosing and dying. She almost died from an overdose herself. Prior to meeting me, she was in the late stages of pulling her life together. These things didn't bother me so much, because I loved her and wanted to the there for her.

    Once we got to California though, cracks started to form and she would binge drink and become a completely different person. At the time, I didn't have a support network at all to fall back on. There wasn't a friend who I could go to and talk about these things with and I had drifted so far from my relatives that I felt ashamed that my reconnection with them would be them judging me for the partner I chose and the decisions I made. So I stayed with her. Every night that she would drink to the point of blacking out, verbally abusing me when I pleaded with her to stop, and the night ending with her passing out and pissing herself in the bed, I would be there the next day to tell her it was okay and that things will get better. There were some days where I was more hurt and angry than others, but I learned to compartmentalize the hell out of it and practice living in the moment. The downside to all this though is that absolutely wrecked our romantic life. I just didn't see her as a desirable romantic partner. She became a nymphomaniac when she was blacked out drunk and I couldn't have sex with any woman in that state. It just wasn't appealing to me. So I told myself, this feeling will pass, it will get better. And I did that year after year. Our dry spells would grow longer and longer, to the point where my lack of desire for her was starting to tear away at her own personal self-esteem.

    During that time though, she avoided hitting rock bottom and losing everything like she had in the past. Growing up, she didn't have a reliable source of support in her life that would just let things said and actions taken be water under the bridge. She eventually got diagnosed with PMDD, which explained the routine hormonal rage that would be directed at me for things like loading a dishwasher too loudly, or forgetting to take my laundry out of the dryer. She also was successful in using the Sinclair Method to get her alcoholism under control, she has been sober the longest period of her adult life. We also pooled our money together and got her LASIK and put up all the money for her to get her MBA without going into debt. She graduated with a 4.0. She got her PMDD under control. She is a miracle and in my opinion an exceptional person who just needed someone in her life to believe in her and give her the unconditional love when she needed it.

    It's just now...Now we have to plan next steps. Do I continue to be in a relationship where my partner won't sleep in the same bed as me? Do I continue to be caretaker to a loved one to help them reach the next steps? Do I continue to be told that commitment is too scary and we should keep waiting on marriage? I have to answer these questions everyday that we are still living together in this apartment. She begs for me not to do this, not to break up our family and ruin what was have. It isn't that I don't love her anymore, it is just that my love for her isn't the same love that I felt 4-5 years ago. It is no longer optimistic and filled with endless possibilities. Rather, it is a supportive love, like something you would give to a best friend who knows you more than your own family. And while I do believe all things in life can be changed, I think the path that it would take for us to be together will continue to require extraordinary sacrifices for each other.

    Maybe the right answer would be to stay together and go to counseling? Maybe. But I honestly dread the time that I spent on a near daily basis for up to an hour coaching her on her insecurities and telling her everything will be okay. Since things went sideways in our relationship years ago, I told myself I didn't want to have kids. I think this was just me lying to myself because I couldn't see myself having kids with her and I was rationalizing it too much. Maybe I really do want kids. I do know that I don't want to quit my well paying job to travel Europe for years, continually uprooting my social life to find the next best thing. That's what she wants, and that works for some people, just not for me.

    The truth is, I don't know what I want out of life. I don't know if this the right decision, or if this is going to collapse on me sometime in the future. There were areas of my life that she helped me with, I recognize this wasn't necessarily a one-sided relationship as I make out to sound in the beginning. She legitimately helped me with a lot too. Ending it means I have to take responsibility for myself, and while it is scary on one hand, it is also exciting for me on the other.

    12 votes
  10. Comment on Semi-formal study of people trying a fad diet where you eat mostly potatoes for four weeks in ~health

  11. Comment on I need career advice in ~life

    Merry
    Link
    One thing on this "perk" is that you will really know what kind of culture they have with time off. Research has shown that companies with unlimited vacation can often have less vacation taken...

    Unlimited vacation

    One thing on this "perk" is that you will really know what kind of culture they have with time off. Research has shown that companies with unlimited vacation can often have less vacation taken over time than someone who was drawing from the yearly bucket. See if they track time off and if they can maybe provide with you statistics on utilization.

    7 votes
  12. Comment on Absurd Trolley Problems in ~humanities

    Merry
    Link
    I think for the most part, I tried to save everyone I could. I ended up with 50 people killed though at the end.

    I think for the most part, I tried to save everyone I could. I ended up with 50 people killed though at the end.

    2 votes