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  1. mrbig
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    Lots of repetition don’t help this poem. It also lacks metaphor, mental images, juxtaposition. The sentences are too blunt without sophistication. This reads like a journal entry, you should put...

    Lots of repetition don’t help this poem. It also lacks metaphor, mental images, juxtaposition. The sentences are too blunt without sophistication. This reads like a journal entry, you should put more work on something that is intended for public consumption.

    Bonus tip: try writing smaller poems.