User: Janey

Janey (OP)

August 10, 2018

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Jerked out of sleep by a figure right near her bed. Sam throws her hands up near her face and whoops, trying to get her legs untangled from the sheets. By the time she comes back to the world, Jim...

Jerked out of sleep by a figure right near her bed.

Sam throws her hands up near her face and whoops, trying to get her legs untangled from the sheets. By the time she comes back to the world, Jim is up and around the side of the bed comforting her daughter, unsettled first by a dream, then panicked by Sam’s thrashing.

“I’ve got this one, but she’ll need you in a minute”, he says. Sam counts heartbeats until they slow down and she prepares herself to throw the covers off. The chill from her clammy tshirt is going to make it hard to get back to sleep, but she won’t fully wake up.

Jim’s back and says “Tag you in. My ‘tuck in’ doesn’t count.” Awake from the adrenalin and sleepwalking all at the same time, she shuffles down to Molly’s room.

“Bad dream, Mommy - there were strangers in the house.”

“Nobody’s here, baby. Go to sleep.”

Petulant - “I KNOW, Mom. I was just scared. It happens to everyone”

“What happens, sweetie?”

“Being scared. Daddy said it happens to everyone, whether something’s real or not.”

“That’s right, honey, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“That’s not the same as not being scared.”

‘She’s 6. I had her 6 years ago. I was there. When did she become older than me?’ Sam thought.

“You’re right baby, but you’re brave. Just go to sleep, honey, ok?”

Thank god the exchange took the last of Mol’s energy. Two deep breaths and she was out again.

“What the sweet simmering fuck?” she thought, semi-consciously deciding to pick a fight when she got back to bed, but Jim was unconscious as Molly.

So Jim had gone to the sandbox and came back and Sam was braced for the worst. Sherrie’s Lee had come back and was worthless, drinking away his disability, not even mustering the energy to slap her when she snarled at him to get off the couch and get a job. Sherrie’s assessment - “Fewer black eyes than before, but less money. I’ll get a divorce when he does something stupid enough to get sent upstate.” - was hard to argue with.

Jim came back with all of his boyishness gone. After a welcome back bender, he’d buy a six pack every week during the errands trip he took on Sunday mornings (so she could sleep in) with Molly and it would last him a week. He forgot once and didn’t really notice until Thursday. His pointless sophomoric cruelty was gone, and he was the only person she knew who called Sherrie’s kid brother Otis instead of Fapper. Molly, too young to understand that there was something wrong with Fapps, played happily with him while Sam watched nervously. Jim was unconcerned, saying only, “She’s sweet to him and that’s nice. He won’t hurt her.” when she voiced her fears in the truck on the way back.

“Giddyap, sweetums, front seat of the car in 5.”, and she bounced out of her chair at the breakfast table to get dressed for school. Jim watched her leave like he always did. Like she was a 4 foot rainbow with winning lottery tickets stapled to her.

“Thanks for taking her last night, I was out of it.”

“Yep. She still needs you to tuck her in, tho. No problem - it’ll come with time.”

“Yeah, she’s got her habits.”

“Nope - not just habits. Gotta remember, she was 1 when I left. She doesn’t remember me at all. All of a sudden, she’s 6 and ‘me and mom’ turns into ‘me and mom and this guy’. It’s like when established kids get jealous of the intruder younger sibling, but worse, because I’m not someone she can bully. Also, it was sudden - no 9 months to prepare her for a baby brother or sister….wait, I didn’t mean to bring that up, not starting the argument again. Not where I’m going, hun. But it’s hard for her because she doesn’t have any models for what a “Daddy” is or does. It’ll come.”

Jesus fuck, she thought. You have an actual physical trophy in a box in the attic, which you refused to let me throw out, that reads “Vomit Distance Champion, 2009”. I had to file a next-of-kin OMPF because you wouldn’t talk about it and I cried and cried and cried when I read it, and you came home and started to learn how to play the piano because you remembered that I liked to sing while Dad played. You are perfect and I have gone down a pants size because I am too frightened to eat.

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