Whom's recent activity

  1. Comment on The Ward; and a goodbye to Tildes. in ~creative

    Whom
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    Goodbye, and thank you for making constant creative contributions to Tildes for so long. You added a lot of flavor to a place that, while I love it, can lean toward being overwhelmingly bland at...

    Goodbye, and thank you for making constant creative contributions to Tildes for so long. You added a lot of flavor to a place that, while I love it, can lean toward being overwhelmingly bland at times.

    Good luck :)

    8 votes
  2. Comment on A series of mysterious bleeps and bloops defined the early days of the internet in ~comp

    Whom
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    If you really do miss it, I'd suggest doing what you can to replicate it, as it can be super rewarding beyond just the nostalgia hit. I've abandoned social media and I've ground down my smartphone...

    If you really do miss it, I'd suggest doing what you can to replicate it, as it can be super rewarding beyond just the nostalgia hit. I've abandoned social media and I've ground down my smartphone usage to the bare minimum (soon to be abandoned entirely) and sought out parts of the web which have that vibe, and it feels like a special place where I can discover again, not just my everyday routine.

    neocities has been excellent for that, there's so much to explore and bringing back personal static websites is kinda the whole point. It's a really fun and creative space. Lainchan has also been filling a similar need, being a very slow imageboard that has higher standards for submissions than others.

    Of course, you can call back even further and hop into the tildeverse, but that's a lot more limited if you're not looking to do and make things yourself. Really just depends on what time period you think had it right.


    If anyone has suggestions for other places which have a similar vibe, I'd love to hear about them.

    3 votes
  3. Comment on Steam LGBTQ+ Games Sale in ~lgbt

    Whom
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    I really respect Christine Love despite not being a massive fan of what I've played, so I'll probably give that a shot. I planned to do that eventually. Thanks!

    I really respect Christine Love despite not being a massive fan of what I've played, so I'll probably give that a shot. I planned to do that eventually.

    Thanks!

    3 votes
  4. Comment on Steam LGBTQ+ Games Sale in ~lgbt

    Whom
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    Of these, I recommend picking up Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor if you're okay with something where the actual systems aren't particularly...fun, but play into really strong anti-capitalist...

    Of these, I recommend picking up Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor if you're okay with something where the actual systems aren't particularly...fun, but play into really strong anti-capitalist messaging. I'd say that political angle overshadows its queer elements, but those elements are a very important part of what it's doing, still. It tries to capture this tension of gender dysphoria management and poverty in a way that's very compelling and unique. It's also fucking gorgeous, just look at that!

    I'd suggest watching Errant Signal's video on the game if you want a pretty complete look at why it's great. It might be a little too detailed to watch beforehand if you plan on playing, though.


    If anyone could give some insight into the visual novels on sale, I'd appreciate that. I really want to dive into lesbian romance / yuri VNs, but I have a hard time trusting that they'll be something which actually appeals to lesbians. I have a pretty good idea of how to tell from a glance if we're talking about manga or anime, but as much as I love VNs, I'm not confident in that area. Trans stuff would be even better, but I don't know how good that landscape is.

    6 votes
  5. Comment on What is a subject you could talk for 2+ hours about with a great degree of accuracy and no preparation whatsoever? in ~talk

    Whom
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    Care to give us a little taste? :)

    joys and trials of using an apple //e clone

    Care to give us a little taste? :)

    4 votes
  6. Comment on Adding native scheduled/recurring topics, let's figure out which ones we want to have in ~tildes.official

    Whom
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    There's plenty that exist, but none that are anywhere near complete or which organize them in a useful way. It's definitely possible to automate parts of the process but even just to get what we...

    There's plenty that exist, but none that are anywhere near complete or which organize them in a useful way.

    It's definitely possible to automate parts of the process but even just to get what we used to have (which was far from enough, imo) requires some human intervention.

    6 votes
  7. Comment on Tildes app ? in ~tildes

    Whom
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    Hermit even has Tildes as one of its ready-made options, with bookmarks for the different groups.

    Hermit even has Tildes as one of its ready-made options, with bookmarks for the different groups.

    10 votes
  8. Comment on Some layout adjustments and de-emphasizing topic tags a little in ~tildes.official

    Whom
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    I like this, hopefully it will help ease the occasional tension over tag complexity. Now it's more obvious that it isn't something every user has to understand and engage with. Could trigger be...

    I like this, hopefully it will help ease the occasional tension over tag complexity. Now it's more obvious that it isn't something every user has to understand and engage with.

    Could trigger be added to the list of always-shown tags?

    17 votes
  9. Comment on LGBTQ individuals, how's life? in ~lgbt

    Whom
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    It's been 5 or 6 years now since I realized I was trans. Not exactly the most exciting climax to the discovery...once I saw trans people who I respected for other reasons (Scarlett, the SC2...

    When did you realize you weren't cis/straight/etc?

    It's been 5 or 6 years now since I realized I was trans. Not exactly the most exciting climax to the discovery...once I saw trans people who I respected for other reasons (Scarlett, the SC2 player), I gave the idea of "transness" genuine consideration for the first time. Representation often seems like this abstract thing without the most tangible effects, but in my case it had a very real and direct impact. Anyway, from there it was a matter of "is this real? am I not just tricking myself?" for a while. Those thoughts never totally went away, but I think that's a common experience for trans people. Self-doubt is nearly universal, even if our conscious minds know that no one would suffer the way we do, fixate on the things we do, and put in the work that we do just to survive the way we do...for fun.

    I also owe a lot to specific groups like the trans people I knew in the radical left communities I was already part of, the various trans subs on reddit (despite leaving reddit, I still search them when I need information or to see others describe their experiences), and various other "interest group but only for trans people" groups that I found in the time after. I think if I were living in a different time or didn't have the very wide interest in internet communities that I do, I would've ended up with a much more narrow idea of what transness, including my own, even is. Understanding yourself requires a lot of introspection and the ability to really draw from the raw experiences of others and piece them together for your own purposes. I think most people still don't get enough of either, but it would be impossible to do the latter in many different situations.

    Are you out or still in the closet?

    As is common, coming out is a long process for me. I'd say I'm mostly out. When I'm at my university, everyone knows and it's a very public part of who I am. At home...my parents know, my brother happened to find out, some old friends know, but otherwise not so much. Extended family doesn't know, and I don't really know how to do that. I don't know how to talk to them normally, let alone about something serious. I guess I'll just show up to a family gathering sometime dressed as I'd like to be and probably end up starting a fight that cuts my part of the family off from the others. I fully expect that, especially if something pushes it to happen while my grandfather is still alive. The midwestern spirit of not wanting to be in anyone's way ever runs deeply through my veins and mixes with my extreme anxiety, so that's a tall order.

    How's the social situation where you live? (Are you accepted?)

    At school it's...fine. Great, really, if I talk about where I spend most of my time, living with people who are either very accepting or trans themselves. The university is acceptable. Supposedly it's one of the better campuses for queer students in the country, but obviously that has to do more with staff and support from the administration, not necessarily the students themselves. On that end, things are far better than what I grew up with and go back to during the summer, but still far from perfect.

    In a relationship? If so, how did you meet?

    Yes, with a Tildes user, @Cleb. I met them on a reddit-adjacent Discord server. Long-distance and internet relationships are at this point a bit of a trans stereotype and I told myself I wouldn't be in one after some bad experiences...but when I met them, I knew I had to ignore that rule I set. Luckily that was absolutely the right choice, even with long-distance being an extremely hard thing to manage.

    Anything on your mind? (Doesn't have to be related to your identity/orientation.)

    I'm about 6 months into HRT and 1 week into antidepressants and so I'm thinking a lot about medication and changes. Dysphoria is much less intense and it's a massive source of comfort for me, so there's no doubt that it's worth being on it, but as for other changes (particularly mental ones), I feel like what I'm experiencing is a lot more subtle than others describe it. Mostly I feel like me but a bit more peaceful. I never got the mood swings or wild increases in sex drive or anything like that, I've just felt better in that way. I'm wondering if my dull depression is getting in the way of experiencing what others do or what.

    I know I shouldn't be comparing my experience to others, especially when it's already been a positive influence in my life, but I can't help but wonder what's up with that.

    Outside of gender stuff which is kinda taking over my mind right now, what happens to be on the mind is the value of "the moment". I've traditionally agreed with this David Mitchell take and I still mostly do, but I've been exploring my tendencies toward dissociative experiences with my therapist and I wonder how to approach the problem. Everything I do is for the future in some way. I eat food from least to most tasty. I watch, play, read, and listen to things because I want to be a person who has done those things and I like moving toward that goal. I desperately cling to conscious judgement to avoid hurting myself or others, sometimes to the point of obsession and always to the point of anxiety. I just generally am not capable of doing things if they don't work toward future things. "Working toward future things" doesn't necessarily mean traditionally productive things, to be clear, it can be as simple as impacting the games I can play now, where I'm more interested in games I can finish and feel like I did something or which exploit that thirst for progression (mmos) than in something that just creates a fun moment. Playing a match of Splatoon or something is so rare for me for this reason. I used to channel this into a desire to "git gud" at competitive games, but now that those only passively catch my interest it just cuts off entire categories of activites for me. I can't just enjoy myself. I'm working on this with my therapist, but I'm a big mess so the progress is slow :P

    6 votes
  10. Comment on School uniforms are on the rise — even for toddlers — and it’s changing back-to-school shopping in ~life

    Whom
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    I'm sympathetic to the idea of uniforms "leveling the playing field," but I can't justify it from a queer perspective. The ability to experiment in ways as small or as large as I would like to...

    I'm sympathetic to the idea of uniforms "leveling the playing field," but I can't justify it from a queer perspective. The ability to experiment in ways as small or as large as I would like to with my presentation was infinitely valuable. I may have lost my mind without that. Even attempts to make it androgynous would have taken away that sliver of opportunity. Another complaint I can think of is that that level playing field is necessarily going to be yet another way of enforcing the dominant culture in a given area. It's a degree of forced assimilation, and in many areas calls back to dark recent history. Around me, for example, a move toward more uniforms in schools would be heavily associated with a return to the forced assimilation that took place in American Indian boarding schools, which was only legally ended in the 70s. Even if it's not a particularly "hot" issue in an area, a uniform will necessarily go along with some culture's norms to the exclusion of others. I can't justify that either.

    In general, I also have an extreme distaste for uniforms because I value bodily autonomy. For the same reason I don't want people touching me without my consent, I don't want them deciding what I put on my body. To me that's pretty absolute, other social gains be damned.

    7 votes
  11. Movie Monday Free Discussion

    Warning: this post may contain spoilers

    Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any movies that you'd like to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here!

    Spoilers are okay, just give fair warning so people who care about them can participate too.

    13 votes
  12. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    Whom
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    I was playing Minecraft with a discord community I run, which was really nice, I'm appreciating the game more than I have in years. It should be a world for you to build with close friends. It...

    I was playing Minecraft with a discord community I run, which was really nice, I'm appreciating the game more than I have in years. It should be a world for you to build with close friends. It feels so cozy.

    However, I've tried out WoW Classic and since I started I basically haven't stopped. My experience with WoW was just enough to have an opinion ("it's okay..."), but not extensive at all...so this all feels very new to me while to everyone else it's a nostalgia trip. The community is great right now, grouping happens so naturally and it feels like a proper social mmo experience which we're lacking nowadays and WoW itself managed to kill. I love how long quests can take. They're never that hard when you have a group, but grinding for quest item drops can really force a feeling of camaraderie. I've yet to touch much other than questing or professions, but it's a good time.

    I'm in a really comfy guild with all trans players, so between that and the currently friendly community, I love it. Also, if anyone here wants to play or just have someone to talk to in-game, just PM me :P

    4 votes
  13. Comment on What's a good name for my open source, tactical WW2 FPS? in ~games

    Whom
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    No name we can come up with will fit your project better than the one which pops into your head at 4am after spending the whole day immersed in working on it. If you do really want one, though,...

    No name we can come up with will fit your project better than the one which pops into your head at 4am after spending the whole day immersed in working on it.

    If you do really want one, though, some detail would help a lot. If you have an idea for what makes it different or what it's about, you can get something specifically relayed to your project and not just a generic reference to WW2.

    8 votes
  14. What have you been listening to this week?

    What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

    What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

    Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

    You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

    http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

    Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

    12 votes
  15. Comment on What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga) in ~anime

    Whom
    Link Parent
    It took me so long to finish K-On!! for the same reason. The ending is an incredibly beautiful thing, so I didn't regret it when I got there, but in the episodes leading up to it, I slowed down to...

    It took me so long to finish K-On!! for the same reason. The ending is an incredibly beautiful thing, so I didn't regret it when I got there, but in the episodes leading up to it, I slowed down to a crawl because I didn't want to make it to the end and "grow up".

    Getting a bit teary-eyed just thinking about it.

    4 votes
  16. Comment on What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga) in ~anime

    Whom
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    I got sucked into Steins;Gate 0 in a way that rarely happens to me anymore, where I'm so invested in plot for plot's sake that I can't stop. Steins;Gate was one of anime's great thrillers, so I...

    I got sucked into Steins;Gate 0 in a way that rarely happens to me anymore, where I'm so invested in plot for plot's sake that I can't stop. Steins;Gate was one of anime's great thrillers, so I was glad to see 0 be just as good.

    I have the same problems with the series as I did originally (mostly surrounding treatment of Ruka and Daru being played as a "lovable creep"), but it's brilliant for all the same reasons as well and I'm glad to have had a chance to revisit these characters. It felt like coming home.

    4 votes
  17. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

    What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

    What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

    If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

    9 votes
  18. Comment on Stop Mocking Vegans in ~food

    Whom
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    I hear this a lot (and trust me, I get it), but I feel like it contributes to the generally hostile environment for vegans and vegetarians just the same. Any joke about vegans is going to use the...

    I hear this a lot (and trust me, I get it), but I feel like it contributes to the generally hostile environment for vegans and vegetarians just the same. Any joke about vegans is going to use the most ridiculous members of the group, of course, and attaching "oh I don't mean you" doesn't make it less of a pain.

    To me, making fun of the most ridiculous vegans when you're dealing with a specific ridiculous vegan is fine. But if you're just making a joke about those crazy vegans, it's a bit of a dick move. It kinda wears you down...if your veganism is going to be a whole thing like that anyway, why not be preachy? It'll turn out the same.

    It creates a situation where you've gotta disavow the sins of The Bad Ones to speak about your diet at all.

    7 votes
  19. Comment on Potential new groups, and general discussion about the purpose and organization of the group hierarchy in ~tildes.official