Also a throwaway... I feel you about the frustration. It's a bridge you can't close the gap on, and when I'm (at least in my case) being faithfully monogamous it definitely feels like a bit of my...
Also a throwaway... I feel you about the frustration. It's a bridge you can't close the gap on, and when I'm (at least in my case) being faithfully monogamous it definitely feels like a bit of my life is weirdly missing.
I'm terminally online, terminally horny, and terminally shy, so I grew up being into hentai and all sorts of niche internet stuff but super closeted about being kinky, genderfluid, and bicurious. When I was in my early 20s I realized there were online social circles where this was the norm that you either didn't have to tease out or could quickly move on from if you didn't click with someone, and I ended up having a ton of online flings - a relationship, casual flings, some male partners, everything all over the power spectrum, and one pet play partner in particular that kept up for quite a while. I never consummated any of it IRL, but I felt pretty satisfied with how brisk and free people were online.
My wife, on the other hand, is totally normie. I adore her for grounding the hell out of me in pretty much every aspect of my life, and our sex life is OK, but some of the net and kink/BDSM culture stuff I bring her to results in complete bewilderment; it amps up the shyness that I have about my kinks. I have zero interest in diverting time from her over someone else, no wish to cheat, and there are so many other things we click on that this should feel like a minor setback. But I always feel this longing to connect about all the baggage that comes with being a horny weirdo online for so long - I don't even know where I'd start about pet play stuff with her... Or that I'd be happy on either side of it... But then again she has her own kinks that she's still embarrassed about, and I'm happy to acquiesce.
Also a throwaway... I feel you about the frustration. It's a bridge you can't close the gap on, and when I'm (at least in my case) being faithfully monogamous it definitely feels like a bit of my life is weirdly missing.
I'm terminally online, terminally horny, and terminally shy, so I grew up being into hentai and all sorts of niche internet stuff but super closeted about being kinky, genderfluid, and bicurious. When I was in my early 20s I realized there were online social circles where this was the norm that you either didn't have to tease out or could quickly move on from if you didn't click with someone, and I ended up having a ton of online flings - a relationship, casual flings, some male partners, everything all over the power spectrum, and one pet play partner in particular that kept up for quite a while. I never consummated any of it IRL, but I felt pretty satisfied with how brisk and free people were online.
My wife, on the other hand, is totally normie. I adore her for grounding the hell out of me in pretty much every aspect of my life, and our sex life is OK, but some of the net and kink/BDSM culture stuff I bring her to results in complete bewilderment; it amps up the shyness that I have about my kinks. I have zero interest in diverting time from her over someone else, no wish to cheat, and there are so many other things we click on that this should feel like a minor setback. But I always feel this longing to connect about all the baggage that comes with being a horny weirdo online for so long - I don't even know where I'd start about pet play stuff with her... Or that I'd be happy on either side of it... But then again she has her own kinks that she's still embarrassed about, and I'm happy to acquiesce.