sigurorhringr's recent activity

  1. Comment on Feeling lost with mental health treatment in ~health.mental

    sigurorhringr
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    First, thank you for your time and your kind words. I have a hard time putting it in words but basically I would say I've been depressed from somewhere around age 12. Of course with better periods...

    First, thank you for your time and your kind words.

    I have to ask, given the similarities, is it by any chance the case that it's the first time you were not depressed?

    I have a hard time putting it in words but basically I would say I've been depressed from somewhere around age 12. Of course with better periods and worse periods. And since then the only time I ever felt close to what I can only describe as "not depressed" were generally times where this was induced by an external factor, most notably relationship partners, and they were rare occasions. To note, I did omit from the original post the fact that in July I did have two separate distinct days when I felt this way completely internally without any external factor, but at the moment it was not so satisfying and it just led me to think "hmm maybe the medication is finally starting to work" but shortly the feeling just faded.

    What I felt in October was much more powerful, closer to what you're describing. At that moment I considered it me being cured of depression and I went around telling people. After it went away I also thought it might be hypomania and now mostly think it was just an euphorical side effect of the medicine.

    I do want to say that the way you described it as "felt like being stuck while being stretched out at the same time" is incredibly familiar and I really like your wording.

    6 votes

  2. Comment on Feeling lost with mental health treatment in ~health.mental

    sigurorhringr
    Link Parent
    Thank you for your experience. Psychedelics is something I have strongly considered but unfortunately in my country there doesn't seem to be any therapy options involving them and no research to...

    Thank you for your experience. Psychedelics is something I have strongly considered but unfortunately in my country there doesn't seem to be any therapy options involving them and no research to be funded. Self treating is something I am not completely comfortable with because of a very bad cannabis edible experience I had which made me question if I am at increased risk for schizophrenia (it is a long story).

    On this topic I particularly like this interview with David Nutt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWhk2LMDwCc

    9 votes

  3. Comment on Feeling lost with mental health treatment in ~health.mental

    sigurorhringr
    Link Parent
    I understand the inquiry but physical health investigations were part of my assesment before and as part of my ADHD diagnosis. As far as general medicine tests I am completely physically healthy...

    I understand the inquiry but physical health investigations were part of my assesment before and as part of my ADHD diagnosis. As far as general medicine tests I am completely physically healthy and functional within the norms.
    As far as substance-induced a funny thing is that the fact that I don't respond at all to caffeine was one of the things that made me pursue getting myself checked-out for ADHD. Whenever I would complain about my inattention or tardiness to people they'd recommend me to drink coffe and it would never do anything for me.

    7 votes

  4. Feeling lost with mental health treatment

    ~health.mental Ask (advice)
    At 22 years old, after months long assessments, I have been diagnosed with severe ADHD, depression and moderate anxiety. Here is a quick timeline of my experience: May - August : I started CBT...

    At 22 years old, after months long assessments, I have been diagnosed with severe ADHD, depression and moderate anxiety. Here is a quick timeline of my experience:

    • May - August :
      • I started CBT therapy and Sertraline 50mg
      • Gradually I was upped to the a dose of 75mg.
      • In this whole period I did not experience any improvements or side effects, except a loss of appetite in the first few days.
    • September:
      • I started taking Methylphenidate 18mg and went back to just 50mg of Sertraline.
      • From the first day I had felt a sentiment of calmness and control. But it slowly faded away and I still felt I could not concentrate on things or act productive.
      • I also stopped going to therapy as I saw that CBT was not effective for me.
    • October - November:
      • This was a completely different month. I wasn't fully in control of my attention span but it was much better than I've ever been. What was more shocking was how internally I felt at peace and something that I'd describe now as euphoric (as I assume this was just a side effect of the medication). U
      • Until mid november I was actually going around telling people I think I might not be depressed anymore, as I had felt for the first time in a way that I haven't felt since early childhood. I was able to accomplish incredible feats related to discipline and I saw my academic results improving greatly. Unfortunately this sentiment slowly faded away and I was back to my old self by the end of November.
    • December - Now I was upped to 36mg of Methylphenidate and I noticed a much better control of my attention but unfortunately I have not felt that feeling of relief again. And as it seems the effectiveness of the dose diminished from the first few days to now.
      Since December I've had numerous breakdowns, feeling completely exhausted and burnt out. I suffered from classic problems of procrastination starting to work on difficult projects only a couple of days before the deadline and it was all crashing down. I submitted multiple disgustingly low quality pieces of work because I just did not work in time enough but the few days I did work I did incredible amounts of effort and I do feel like the pills helped me stay focused. After this deadline period though I was just met with my normal depression symptoms where I had a long streak of days that I could not even get out of bed or brush my teeth.

    I don't know what more to do. I always knew I was broken and needed help. And for all my life I thought that seeing a psychiatrist is a last resort in case "I can't fix myself" on my own. Now it's been almost a whole year and I am in a critical time period where I need to excel and put in the work but I find myself succumbing to my symptoms while jumping up and down with the doses of some pills that barely seem to have an effect.

    I didn't have many people around me from the start, and many of them would not understand my condition at all (nobody from my family does). But now it seems that even the few that were empathetic I have unfortunately tired out. I've heard my fair share of bad remarks that have gradually demoralised me (ADHD is not real. I'm just lazy. I just like to complain. etc) and due to the fact that I also have codependency problems this has greatly hurt me and made me feel like I am completely alone and nobody cares for my troubles or has my wellbeing in their best interest. Right now I just wish I'd know what to do. I wish there was some clear step by step goal oriented way to "happiness" or at least normality. I don't even know what more to tell my psychiatrist other than how I don't feel well, which is what I've been telling him since the start.

    If you've been through a similar journey, I'd love to hear your experience and any advice you wish you had received earlier.

    33 votes