First tildes post. But I need to vent so I'll try it out. I feel totally lost. I'm young and in school. I have no direction or interests. I see no point in trying, nothing makes me feel good. I...
First tildes post. But I need to vent so I'll try it out. I feel totally lost. I'm young and in school. I have no direction or interests. I see no point in trying, nothing makes me feel good. I feel nothing any and every day. I have been in therapy for years. I am plagued by intrusive thoughts and body image issues. Between climate change and social fascism I don't see a future I want to live in. The only thing preventing me from CTRL-Z'ing my life is knowing how much pain it would cause my family and girlfriend. I don't want to work, I have no passion. Is my life solely to work for others? Is that all I'm here for? I'm not able to self-sustain. Joining a commune or cult is preferable to the current future of this reality. I don't know. I'm medicated but I'm lonely. If I could do anything, I would try to make music and video art. Create open source software in relation to the arts. I feel dumb and incapable of learning anything. I fill the hole in my existence with consumerism. I bought a nice e-reader to try and knock off some of the ~600Gb of ebooks I have downloaded. No progress. I am four weeks into this semester at Uni and I haven't done any work. I feel destined to fail.
First tildes post. But I need to vent so I'll try it out. I feel totally lost. I'm young and in school. I have no direction or interests. I see no point in trying, nothing makes me feel good. I feel nothing any and every day. I have been in therapy for years. I am plagued by intrusive thoughts and body image issues. Between climate change and social fascism I don't see a future I want to live in. The only thing preventing me from CTRL-Z'ing my life is knowing how much pain it would cause my family and girlfriend. I don't want to work, I have no passion. Is my life solely to work for others? Is that all I'm here for? I'm not able to self-sustain. Joining a commune or cult is preferable to the current future of this reality. I don't know. I'm medicated but I'm lonely. If I could do anything, I would try to make music and video art. Create open source software in relation to the arts. I feel dumb and incapable of learning anything. I fill the hole in my existence with consumerism. I bought a nice e-reader to try and knock off some of the ~600Gb of ebooks I have downloaded. No progress. I am four weeks into this semester at Uni and I haven't done any work. I feel destined to fail.