vivaria's recent activity

  1. Comment on Is fanart fluff? Could something be done to make it not fluff if so? in ~tildes

    vivaria Link Parent
    As someone who's spent a large amount of time in music-focused communities, forums, and boards, and who loves to recommend and chat about music, reading your paragraph about forward-thinking ideas...

    As someone who's spent a large amount of time in music-focused communities, forums, and boards, and who loves to recommend and chat about music, reading your paragraph about forward-thinking ideas is very exciting. Tildes is so clean and functional that I forget sometimes that we're still in alpha, and that there are kinks to work out/areas to explore.

    I think I might have asked a question that's getting us a little off topic, though, so for that I apologize.

  2. Comment on Is fanart fluff? Could something be done to make it not fluff if so? in ~tildes

    vivaria Link Parent
    What's the distinction between posting a piece of visual art without text and posting a song link without text (as can commonly be seen in ~music)? (It's a bit ironic that this came up after our...

    What's the distinction between posting a piece of visual art without text and posting a song link without text (as can commonly be seen in ~music)?

    (It's a bit ironic that this came up after our last exchange... purely coincidental, I promise! Not trying to poke the beehive here, but am genuinely curious.)

    4 votes
  3. Comment on Aphantasia: A life without mental images in ~science

    vivaria Link Parent
    I can... kind of see shapes in the static noise sometimes if I focus really hard, but mostly all I see is static noise when I close my eyes. Lots of rapidly changing patterns, mostly "dark" feeling.

    I can... kind of see shapes in the static noise sometimes if I focus really hard, but mostly all I see is static noise when I close my eyes. Lots of rapidly changing patterns, mostly "dark" feeling.

    1 vote
  4. Comment on What was a strong opinion you once had, but has changed since by listening to others? in ~talk

    vivaria (edited ) Link Parent
    It takes a lot of effort to push yourself to explore new sounds. There's only so much time and energy a person has to expend, and if someone isn't interested, it's important to respect that.

    It takes a lot of effort to push yourself to explore new sounds. There's only so much time and energy a person has to expend, and if someone isn't interested, it's important to respect that.

  5. Comment on What was a strong opinion you once had, but has changed since by listening to others? in ~talk

    vivaria (edited ) Link Parent
    Hey, thanks for being honest and communicating your boundaries! No worries whatsoever. :) If anything, I should be the one apologizing. Chats like this are like sex. It's more fun when things are...

    Hey, thanks for being honest and communicating your boundaries! No worries whatsoever. :)

    If anything, I should be the one apologizing. Chats like this are like sex. It's more fun when things are consensual (i.e. the parties involved have common goals and stay cognizant of each others' desires and boundaries.) If someone is only participating because they feel obligated to, then it's not going to be a fun time for anyone. I could have done a better job at gauging whether it was appropriate to question what you had posted.

    I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable, but if I have, I'm sorry. I hope the rest of your day goes well today.

    1 vote
  6. Comment on What was a strong opinion you once had, but has changed since by listening to others? in ~talk

    vivaria (edited ) Link Parent
    [Redacted because this comment was trying initiate a chat the OP wasn't interested in.]

    [Redacted because this comment was trying initiate a chat the OP wasn't interested in.]

  7. Comment on Does anyone on Tildes not speak—intentionally or not—to one or both of your parents? If so, why? in ~talk

    vivaria (edited ) Link
    I've had a number of dads (all within my childhood and teen years), and I don't speak with any of them! My mum's had awful luck. Biological dad: I just... find him to be so crude and thoughtless....

    I've had a number of dads (all within my childhood and teen years), and I don't speak with any of them! My mum's had awful luck.

    • Biological dad: I just... find him to be so crude and thoughtless. He's the kind of bro-y guy who listens to shock jock radio and has the emotional intelligence of a teenager. He's done some awful, petty, cruel things to my mum and my sister. Not so much abuse, but more the kind of knee-jerk, impulsive, hateful things that leave you disappointed in a person. He's unethical and shifty, and puts his business before most anything else. It never really felt like he was invested in our side of the family, and wasn't willing to grow in the ways he needed to to become a father. (Reconnected with him in 2017, and he hadn't changed a bit. I wish I hadn't given him another chance, but my mum had felt guilty and nudged me towards him for years. I don't blame her... I can't imagine what it must feel like from her perspective.)
    • First stepdad: His marriage with my mum followed the loss of his ex-wife to cancer. He wasn't able to move on from his past love for her, and it caused fractures in our family. They divorced when I was 10-ish.
    • Second stepdad: Best one of the bunch, but was an alcoholic. Not a violent one, and it didn't necessarily interfere with our family in the ways that alcoholism typically does. But, he had a stroke and struck his head against a kitchen counter during the fall. He died when I was 14.
    • Third stepdad: Hid a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis from my mum, and refused to seek help when he began to struggle. Disappeared one day when I was 16-17 and we've never seen him since.

    Sometimes it's hard not really having a family to turn to when things get tough. (No living grandparents, no aunts/uncles/cousins I'm close to, my sister has Sotos syndrome, and she and my mum moved away so I can't regularly see them.) I just try to console myself by dreaming about found family stories. I repeat to myself that it's okay to not love the people you're biologically connected with, and that they aren't owed your time or effort. I firmly believe in dispelling the "blood is thicker than water" proverb. I try to instead focus on sending my love to the people I do care about, rather than dwelling on not having what others have. There's still so much opportunity to build deeper bonds than the ones you were handed by biology.

    (Also therapy. Lots of therapy. I've tried my hardest to not turn out like my third stepdad, as I've struggled with mental health concerns for most of my life.)

    4 votes
  8. Comment on I don’t wanna do my video game chores in ~games

    vivaria Link Parent
    This is an aside from your actual post, and I don't mean to take away from the meat of what you've written, but I'm not sure I understand your use of the word 'agency' here: I thought 'agency'...

    This is an aside from your actual post, and I don't mean to take away from the meat of what you've written, but I'm not sure I understand your use of the word 'agency' here:

    The big issue with open-world games, the way I see it, is lacking agency. Players are often thrown in the massive, unknown world, with a handful of torn clothes and a quest that's supposed to give them some momentum. Since it's the only thing going for you at the time – the only thing you know about the world – it's likely that you're going to chase it.

    On the other hand, linear games – such as the mentioned The Last of Us or Firewatch – give you agency immediately, by guiding you through the plot incessantly¹.

    I thought 'agency' meant something like 'capacity to make decisions/take actions based on ones' own free will'. Don't linear games take away your agency by guiding you through a plot on rails, while open-world games give you agency by allowing you to explore in your own personal way?

    10 votes
  9. Comment on What have you been listening to this week? in ~music

    vivaria Link
    Digging the new Big Thief single, 'UFOF'. Reminds me of Great White Shark or Objects or a few others off Capacity. It's an easy listening, comfy Big Thief song, rather than a heart-wrenchingly...

    Digging the new Big Thief single, 'UFOF'. Reminds me of Great White Shark or Objects or a few others off Capacity. It's an easy listening, comfy Big Thief song, rather than a heart-wrenchingly emotional Big Thief song. That's not to say that it's not a forward-thinking song, though! It's mystical. I've loved everything they've ever done, and this song is no different. They're my favorite band right now.

    I've also been digging into all of the old albums I used to love around 2010-ish. Mainly, Freelance Whales' Diluvia, Ramona Falls' Intuit (fuck this album is good!), Foals' Total Life Forever, and Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin's Pershing

    Also need to give the new Vampire Weekend tracks a listen!

  10. Comment on Do you consume any short-form, easily-digestible content on the internet? And, if so, what do you do to keep your browsing habits healthy? in ~talk

    vivaria Link Parent
    UK humor!! I'm partial to Big Fat Quiz, Tom Scott's YouTube gameshows, and QI myself.

    UK humor!! I'm partial to Big Fat Quiz, Tom Scott's YouTube gameshows, and QI myself.

  11. Comment on Do you consume any short-form, easily-digestible content on the internet? And, if so, what do you do to keep your browsing habits healthy? in ~talk

    vivaria Link Parent
    It's NewsBlur, but I'm not attached to it very much at all, so I'm not sure I'd recommend it in particular? RSS readers seem largely replaceable.

    It's NewsBlur, but I'm not attached to it very much at all, so I'm not sure I'd recommend it in particular? RSS readers seem largely replaceable.

  12. Comment on Opinion | For Jews, Ilhan Omar’s Attack On ‘Allegiances’ To Israel Is All Too Familiar in ~news

    vivaria Link
    Is there a way to have an opinion on Israel/Palestine/BDS without gravely offending a large group of people? My takeaway from years of watching things as an outsider is that the only winning move...

    Is there a way to have an opinion on Israel/Palestine/BDS without gravely offending a large group of people? My takeaway from years of watching things as an outsider is that the only winning move is not to play the game at all.

    10 votes
  13. Comment on Do you consume any short-form, easily-digestible content on the internet? And, if so, what do you do to keep your browsing habits healthy? in ~talk

    vivaria (edited ) Link Parent
    This was my approach for a while! I loved Twitter for the longest time, if you can believe it. The only way I've ever consumed that website was by, as you say, ruthlessly curating and organizing...

    This was my approach for a while! I loved Twitter for the longest time, if you can believe it. The only way I've ever consumed that website was by, as you say, ruthlessly curating and organizing folks who were putting out content that was wholesome and supportive and creative and thoughtful. Ditto for Tumblr. As for YouTube, I have all of my favorite channels as RSS feeds so that I rarely have to touch the website at all. You can watch videos within some RSS readers, even. (example of my setup: https://vgy.me/kuJTFz.png)

    I guess I must have deleted everything on the websites themselves out of impulse. Had one of those "ack! I don't like what this platform is doing to my brain!" panicky days.

    4 votes
  14. I really like Tildes' manifesto, and I've largely gravitated away from Reddit since joining this community. I'm generally a fan of pursuing long-form content that requires focus and thought, and...

    I really like Tildes' manifesto, and I've largely gravitated away from Reddit since joining this community. I'm generally a fan of pursuing long-form content that requires focus and thought, and that aims to be fleshed-out and engaging, e.g. books, documentaries, essays, etc. But, at the same time, it can feel taxing to digest things meant purely to challenge me/expand my world view/generate interesting discussion. Sometimes I want a break from thinking!

    Sometimes I like taking breaks and looking at things that don't really ask much from me. Things that make me laugh, or that make me feel safe and happy. Things that speak to my niche interests and tastes. Not necessarily throwaway, lowest-common-denominator content that aims to appeal to the widest demographic possible, (in other words, still "high quality" content), but... things that probably wouldn't be allowed on Tildes nonetheless? I'm thinking more in the vein of platforms like Tumblr, Pinterest, and YouTube. But... not those exactly, as I'm not the biggest fan of how addicting they're designed to be.

    I thought I'd ask you folk if you have any preferences or setups for this kind of content. I use RSS feeds (plain as heck, not an infinite feed) to keep track of channels and blogs and webcomics and what have you, but I'm interested in hearing what y'all have to say. If Tildes is the "improved" version of unhealthy article/discussion-focused websites, what is your "improved" version of easy-to-consume (but high-quality) content?

    34 votes
  15. Comment on Tilderinoes with mental health issues: do you feel like happiness is impossible? in ~life

    vivaria Link Parent
    Not as much anymore? I used like how strongly it made me feel and how relatable the pain felt. But, now it feels... needlessly self-destructive? I feel like they've written themselves into a...

    Not as much anymore? I used like how strongly it made me feel and how relatable the pain felt. But, now it feels... needlessly self-destructive? I feel like they've written themselves into a corner, where he needs to relapse into his old ways for the show to continue.

    I like growth and evolution, but after last season, I didn't feel like that was what the show was about.

    1 vote
  16. Comment on Tilderinoes with mental health issues: do you feel like happiness is impossible? in ~life

    vivaria (edited ) Link
    I definitely don't feel like happiness is impossible. (Although, I have at times, admittedly.) As far as diagnoses go, I have ASD and anxiety. But, years ago, the added stress that came from...
    • Exemplary

    I definitely don't feel like happiness is impossible. (Although, I have at times, admittedly.)

    As far as diagnoses go, I have ASD and anxiety. But, years ago, the added stress that came from overworking myself (engineering undergraduate, social life, relationships, trying to cope with unresolved traumas) sent me spiraling multiple times. Dissociation + depression + emotional instability caused me to drop my courses and take a leave of absence twice. I've been hospitalized lots for crises situations, and have spent a good 15+ years seeing mental health professionals of all kinds.

    The primary reason I keep pushing onward is because I'm generally a pretty curious person. I want badly to understand what goes on underneath the surface. I like finding out how things work. That's probably what led me to engineering, but it's also lent itself to introspection and a driving urge to understand why I've struggled for so long. I like learning about myself, and I like figuring out my strengths and weaknesses. I like pinpointing my triggers, and facing all of the scary parts of myself and my past head-on. I want to do what I can to sort out how best to craft a life that I feel I fit into. That's where therapy has come in... I get a lot out of talking about my thoughts and feelings and exploring the nuances of my circumstances. As someone who would fall under the umbrella of 'neurodivergent', this understanding does a lot for helping me navigate a world that makes me feel like I don't belong.

    I can't say I'm completely satisfied with my life, but I've noticed subtle improvements over the years. I've noticed I look at myself and the world differently than I did when I was younger. I understand some of the pitfalls I'm prone to as a person, and I understand how to address certain dangerous thought patterns before I get trapped in them. I have little tricks and strategies that help me get through the day when I can't function. I also have somewhat of a sense of the preferences I have -- from personality traits to interior decor, even. I have a feeling for what makes me feel safe, and what fits with who I am as a person.

    Those preferences then tie into a goal I work towards constantly: doing what I can to earn my own freedom, whether financially, or with my time, or with my commitments, or with my abilities as a person. I figure once I get to a point where I can truly explore the world without feeling tied down, I'll be able actually put those preferences to good use and discover all sorts of things in the world that make me excited. I know that I've been excited about the world before (I even keep an organized log of things that once made me happy, https://owl.home.blog/), so whenever anhedonia strikes, I try to remind myself that it's just as possible in the future as it was in the past. It's like... doing what I can to make sure the ground is fertile enough to cultivate a life that's my own.

    EDIT: I also should note that "building a life that works for me" doesn't necessarily mean figuring out how to contort myself to the expectations of the world around me. I've learned that I'm just not compatible with some of my region's norms. Forcing myself to mask my feelings and conform was the source of a lot of my anxiety. Instead, I try now to do what I can to carve out a little niche and live the way that I want to live, rather than how external forces imply I should live.

    tl;dr: happiness to me is learning about what works for me and what doesn't (through introspection and therapy), and building a life that meshes with that understanding.

    11 votes
  17. Comment on What have you been watching/reading this week? (Anime/Manga) in ~anime

    vivaria Link Parent
    That's a good point. I guess to me, Taiga breaking in felt... comical? Played up for effect, and hard to take seriously. Especially with Taiga lugging that bokken around everywhere. "Hahaha, oh...

    That's a good point.

    I guess to me, Taiga breaking in felt... comical? Played up for effect, and hard to take seriously. Especially with Taiga lugging that bokken around everywhere. "Hahaha, oh anime, you so crazy." Kind of, in a similar vein as Nichijou? Absurdity for humor's sake. Whereas these first two episodes of Golden Time feel eerily possible in real life, with the dude's boundaries repeatedly disrespected despite his protests. Gave me nonconsensual vibes.

    1 vote
  18. Comment on What have you been watching/reading this week? (Anime/Manga) in ~anime

    vivaria Link Parent
    WOW I HATE IT. I'm 2 episodes into Golden Time, and I'm immediately turned off by the characters. Why isn't anyone acknowledging that she's a huge stalker? And... she's going to be the love...

    WOW I HATE IT.

    I'm 2 episodes into Golden Time, and I'm immediately turned off by the characters. Why isn't anyone acknowledging that she's a huge stalker? And... she's going to be the love interest? What? No!

    1 vote
  19. Comment on Magic the Gathering announces "Modern Horizons", the first set designed to skip Standard legality and go straight to Modern in ~games

    vivaria Link
    Gasp. Magic the Gathering? On my Tildes? Thanks for posting, Deimos! I'm a draft fiend, and I'm probably going to try to hit MF Seattle. I'm really excited to see a high-complexity/high-power...

    Gasp. Magic the Gathering? On my Tildes? Thanks for posting, Deimos!

    I'm a draft fiend, and I'm probably going to try to hit MF Seattle. I'm really excited to see a high-complexity/high-power level draft set that isn't pure reprints. I mean, I did love playing in GP Van with Ultimate Masters (missed D2 with 4-2-1 record RIP), but that was a pretty meh sealed format and I didn't enjoy practicing for it. This, on the other hand, seems like even more fun.

    From Mark Rosewater's Tumblr:

    I think the best way to explain why this set is applicable to more than just Modern players is to go back to where the set began. When Ethan and I first pitched this set in the Hackathon, here’s what we said, “One of the cool things about a supplemental set is that we can focus on ideas that we’re unwilling to do in a Standard-legal set. What if we took off the shackles and just made a set full of cards that we know players would love, but are hard to do with all the limitations that come with a normal Magic set. What if we dove deep into the creative and mechanical elements of Magic’s twenty-five year history and just had a blast designing cards? We could make something really awesome.” It took us the week of the Hackathon to put together our proof of concept, but once everyone saw it, we were given the green light. And then we had a lot of fun making a very interesting set. You don’t have to be a Modern player to love Modern Horizons just a Magic player.

    This is delicious to read from a limited player's perspective.

    4 votes
  20. Comment on Workism Is Making Americans Miserable in ~life