7 votes

June.

You know they’ve got poetry on Spotify? That’s some cool shit. Ended up following John Cooper Clarke into a rabbit hole of other British poets.

Decided to bite and try writing a bit of poetry for poetry’s sake.

Anyway. ‘Ere go. “June.”

I thought your voice was music

And your beauty - work of art.

I found your jokes amusing,

Ponygirl, a golden heart.

Your company, a journey

Which I never could depart

I really felt I loved you,

Well, I did once, at the start.

.

See, music can be different

Some songs good, and others crap.

Some begin melodically,

Then get crashing in a snap.

Starting subtle violins,

Then it blares with metal scrap

They lure you malevolent

Some music is a trap.

.

Some artists Donatello,

Others Jackson Pollock.

Some art goes well with wine,

Some turns you alcoholic.

Some is deep and intricate,

Some is purely bollocks

Can’t call this a masterpiece

I’m not sure what to call it.

.

Thought your lips were pure cuisine

And your beauty - work of art.

I never thought the kitchen

Would have mold and rot at heart.

The oven sent asunder

All the counters ripped apart

You’re a diner with one dish,

And it’s a dry and sour tart.

2 comments

  1. [2]
    The_Fad
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    Is this your first foray into poetry or do you have a background in it?

    Is this your first foray into poetry or do you have a background in it?

    2 votes
    1. [2]
      Comment deleted by author
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      1. The_Fad
        Link Parent
        That makes more sense, then. The work is very well structured and compartmentalized, with each stanza serving its own purpose and furthering the whole. The rhyming scheme is simple but appropriate...

        That makes more sense, then. The work is very well structured and compartmentalized, with each stanza serving its own purpose and furthering the whole. The rhyming scheme is simple but appropriate for the style. You mentioned you write lyrics predominately which is very much on display here; this is a good thing. Your penchant for rhyme and word flow is exquisite, even having read only this piece.

        The subject matter is nothing new of course, especially to a songwriter such as yourself, but as a means to stretch your creative legs and broaden those same horizons it works very well. You weren't setting out to rewrite the medium, so it would be silly to have that expectation.

        In four words I would describe the piece thusly: "Vivid, choral, and heartfelt." You've clearly long-since found your voice as a writer (in any respect), and to be frank the written word world is your oyster, so to speak. You confidently use the tools you've learned (for example, crafting each stanza as thematic unto itself while continuing the "story" being told) and I would be interested in reading or hearing some of the music you've made, assuming you'd be willing to share.

        It's a bit of a pearl-clutcher to compare poetry to prose in the way I just did, so forgive me if I offend; this was not my intent. I simply come from a prose background and so view things naturally through that lens.

        Long story short, I give your work 5 Jakes out of 5 possible Jakes. Though its subject matter is quite familiar, you present it creatively and craft an optic that paints a (sometimes beautifully lurid) image that anyone can relate to. Well done!

        3 votes