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How to make a Halloween creepy kit

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    Step One: Find a box, tin, or other keeper for your kit. Step Two: Gather creepy objects. You can never go wrong with dolls. You can presume any object imbued with so much imagination from...

    Step One:

    Find a box, tin, or other keeper for your kit.

    Step Two:

    Gather creepy objects. You can never go wrong with dolls. You can presume any object imbued with so much imagination from childhood playtime to be haunted. Of course, children are the creepiest humans. Our doll’s eyes open when you turn it upright. (Shudder)

    We next added dice. As accessories for divination, dice add the suggestion that some sort of witchcraft was underway in the break room at Kohl’s, or half-buried behind the bus stop, or under the mayor’s desk. Wherever you decide to leave it is ground-zero for creep-dom.

    As this wasn’t yet abundantly creepy, we spiked the kit with a human tooth. Body parts discovered out of their proper place make for creepy moments, we guarantee that. This one appears to have a little dried blood on it. If you don’t already have teeth lying around, you have to ask yourself, how badly do I want this?

    Now for the capstone. A good way to cultivate a creepy feeling that lingers is to peg it on a mystery. Why someone would keep a human tooth with three dice and a miniature plastic doll presents no puzzle—I mean, right? But in choosing the “Tamám Shud” message we have stuffed a mystery for the ages into our tin. Give the luckless finder of your Creepy Kit something to research, something to keep them up at night. That is, besides the fact that the tin is decorated with drawings in alphabetical order, but somehow includes the label “nest” between “drum” and “frog.”

    Step Three:

    Bury, conceal, or stage your kit where it won’t be disturbed for some time, yet where eventual discovery is inevitable. Think about putting it on a relative’s exercise equipment, or in some overgrown bushes. If a cemetery appeals to you, reflect that it will probably be a desensitized groundskeeper who finds your present the next day. We placed ours where it would most likely be found at night, glinting in the beam of a cell phone’s light held by someone who is all alone and a stranger to the area, where no innocent oversight could have left it and no sound mind could explain its occurrence away.

    Happy Halloween... and Finders Creepers!

    5 votes