Bet's recent activity
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Comment on The parents in my classroom in ~life
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Comment on Have you had a life-altering change in who you are? in ~talk
Bet Link ParentBut organized religion and Christian tradition are two separate concepts. They overlap, yes, but belief or disbelief in one doesn’t necessitate a belief or disbelief in the other. And how one...But organized religion and Christian tradition are two separate concepts. They overlap, yes, but belief or disbelief in one doesn’t necessitate a belief or disbelief in the other. And how one chooses or does not choose to proselytize is altogether a different and equally contentious matter in and of itself.
:Not saying this has anything to do with what the original commenter to whom you addressed your question might believe or think, only noting something that caught me as interesting about your comment.
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Comment on My shooting range, my doctor's practice, my general [translated from German] in ~misc
Bet Link ParentI’ve lived all over the states, and if there’s one thing that is true, it’s that the US has a lot of variation in local flavor. Good to know sanity reigns supreme at least somewhere around here....I’ve lived all over the states, and if there’s one thing that is true, it’s that the US has a lot of variation in local flavor. Good to know sanity reigns supreme at least somewhere around here. As it is, where I’m currently located, things are only picking up steam as we head closer towards the election.
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Comment on My shooting range, my doctor's practice, my general [translated from German] in ~misc
Bet LinkThis is completely normal, unfortunately. It should be over-the-top, as you’ve said, but it is not, and, frankly, the constant barrage of ugliness, the weight of it, is wearing us all down. I’ve...reading it (and from an outside perspective) it's just so over the top ridiculous that I'd really like to know what people from the US or living there think about it.
This is completely normal, unfortunately. It should be over-the-top, as you’ve said, but it is not, and, frankly, the constant barrage of ugliness, the weight of it, is wearing us all down.
I’ve long since lost track of how many US flags with either Jesus laying hands over a ‘pious champion of the faith and faithful Trump’ or the words ‘We The People’ superimposed over the stars and stripes I have seen over only the last few months — let alone the last few years. Or the black-on-black, purposefully designed to look torn-at-the-edges US flags being flown mounted on lifted pickup trucks that seem to be gaining popularity in my area at the moment, nearly always paired with ‘Trump Is My President’ or ‘God, Guns, and Trump’ stickers.
And the perspectives of the people in the article simply match many of the ideas shared widely where I’m located, as well. Man, you should hear what the MAGA candidates for office have been saying — at this point, all of the conspiracy theories are mainstream, just par for the course. So many people are burnt out waiting for that next shocking thing, yet others seem galvanized by it. It is a tumultuous time in the good ol’ US of A.
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Comment on ‘Lavender’: The AI machine directing Israel’s bombing spree in Gaza in ~tech
Bet LinkThis is outright slaughter; an active pursuit of disregard for human life chosen at every step, and on such a large scale, and it is just mind boggling. Some excerpts from just a small portion of...This is outright slaughter; an active pursuit of disregard for human life chosen at every step, and on such a large scale, and it is just mind boggling.
Some excerpts from just a small portion of the article; all emphasis mine:
During the early stages of the war, the army gave sweeping approval for officers to adopt Lavender’s kill lists, with no requirement to thoroughly check why the machine made those choices or to examine the raw intelligence data on which they were based.
Why would they do this? Everyone everywhere is and has been aware that this approach is horrifically fallible. There can be no excuses.
“We were not interested in killing [Hamas] operatives only when they were in a military building or engaged in a military activity,” A., an intelligence officer, told +972 and Local Call. “On the contrary, the IDF bombed them in homes without hesitation, as a first option. It’s much easier to bomb a family’s home. The system is built to look for them in these situations.”
I never want to see this sort of reasoning adopted by anyone anywhere ever. It is blind madness to believe justice could ever be served through killing an entire family simply because one particular person is connected to Hamas.
And there is something absolutely sick about naming one such system ‘Where’s Daddy?’. They knew from the start that this was inherently designed to be used to also murder children, and, apparently, that’s appropriate for an official cutesy-wootsey tongue-in-cheek joke.
In addition, according to the sources, when it came to targeting alleged junior militants marked by Lavender, the army preferred to only use unguided missiles, commonly known as “dumb” bombs (in contrast to “smart” precision bombs), which can destroy entire buildings on top of their occupants and cause significant casualties. “You don’t want to waste expensive bombs on unimportant people — it’s very expensive for the country and there’s a shortage [of those bombs],” said C., one of the intelligence officers.
Right. A new iteration of an old ‘ideal’. Israel, of all nations, is perfectly aware of where this specific sort of mathematics leads. Which numbers should matter most — the pecuniary or the mortal? There is no justification for calibrating a military system to knowingly kill and maim non-combatants.
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Comment on Why are Americans fighting over no-fault divorce? Maybe they can’t agree what marriage is for. in ~life
Bet LinkHonestly, it’s always about hierarchy: who submits and is obedient to whom; who is naturally as ordained by right of birth at the top. Every single cultural preoccupation and push of the current...Honestly, it’s always about hierarchy: who submits and is obedient to whom; who is naturally as ordained by right of birth at the top. Every single cultural preoccupation and push of the current right (in the US) distills down to the same thing — who is allowed to seize control of another without, or with only incurring minimal, repercussions.
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Comment on "The One Who Is". Who on Tildes recently called God by this name? in ~humanities
Bet LinkNot the commenter who commented your looking-for-that-missed-connection comment, but, just as a general possible answer, that strikes me as an Exodus 3:14 reference. Some religious traditions...Not the commenter who commented your looking-for-that-missed-connection comment, but, just as a general possible answer, that strikes me as an Exodus 3:14 reference. Some religious traditions simply preclude the direct use of a name, considering doing so to be profane. It’s not necessarily uncommon. Also, sometimes it’s just another ‘name’ in and of itself.
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Comment on A new service is trying to fight California's loneliness epidemic in ~life
Bet LinkMy interest is always piqued by this sort of thing. Is this something that many people would consider using? I can’t imagine it for myself, but then again, I also have never used dating apps, and...My interest is always piqued by this sort of thing. Is this something that many people would consider using? I can’t imagine it for myself, but then again, I also have never used dating apps, and they are basically the same concept.
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Comment on Black LGBTQ+ youth need spaces that embrace them fully, researchers say in ~lgbt
Bet Link ParentEmphasis mine. I’m not seeing anything remotely similar to segregation suggested within this article.Experts say that supporting Black queer youth means creating safe spaces that embrace them fully. They want non-LGBTQ+ organizations to become more welcoming and for LGBTQ+ organizations to address barriers around race that make it difficult for kids of color to use their services.
“I think this is also especially a call to action for faith communities to double down on things like supporting Black queer youth in their communities and making sure that they feel safe and included,” said Charleigh Flohr, associate director of public education and research at the HRC Foundation.
Ka’Riel Gaiter, director of services for the Chicago-based LGBTQ+ nonprofit Youth Empowerment Performance Project, said safe spaces for very vulnerable queer youth in their city increasingly enforce rules that sometimes make it hard for kids to access services — like requiring IDs for entry. IDs can prove to be unattainable for youth who haven’t been able to update their names or gender markers or who are experiencing homelessness.
Emphasis mine. I’m not seeing anything remotely similar to segregation suggested within this article.
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Comment on How American evangelicals use digital surveillance to target the unconverted in ~tech
Bet LinkThis tech is undoubtedly about to be, or currently already being, used by someone to grift. Aside from all of the other myriad concerns this data-harvesting and -listing raises, one of the first...This tech is undoubtedly about to be, or currently already being, used by someone to grift. Aside from all of the other myriad concerns this data-harvesting and -listing raises, one of the first issues brought to mind is that this information is perfect for any entrepreneurial-minded lowlife posing as a ‘prophet’ to use for pseudo cold-reading door-to-door to catch the vulnerable and unawares off their guard at just the right time to take advantage of them.
This is some very obvious build-a-cult nonsense. It’s also a fantastically powerful tool of control once one’s cult is established. An all-seeing, ever-present eye.
How great.
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Comment on US literary magazine retracts Israeli writer’s coexistence essay amid mass resignations in ~books
Bet Link ParentAh, I see! Thank you for the clarification.Ah, I see! Thank you for the clarification.
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Comment on US literary magazine retracts Israeli writer’s coexistence essay amid mass resignations in ~books
Bet Link ParentQuestion: Am I incorrect in assuming that, in both this comment and the last, you are specifically critiquing the article written by JTA and the TOI staff about Chen’s essay, and not Chen’s essay...Question: Am I incorrect in assuming that, in both this comment and the last, you are specifically critiquing the article written by JTA and the TOI staff about Chen’s essay, and not Chen’s essay itself?
Because, it seems as if the two replies here are directly addressing the Chen essay, and, truth be told, that’s initially also the article I’d thought you were commenting about before the addition of this latest comment with the quote.
What I’m saying here is that I am somewhat confused, lol.
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Comment on US literary magazine retracts Israeli writer’s coexistence essay amid mass resignations in ~books
Bet Link ParentThis criticism doesn’t hold water. Chen’s essay is more than worth the time it takes to read, and very much does acknowledge the inherent imbalance imposed by the Israeli state on the Palestinian...- Exemplary
This criticism doesn’t hold water. Chen’s essay is more than worth the time it takes to read, and very much does acknowledge the inherent imbalance imposed by the Israeli state on the Palestinian people.
Nuance, reading comprehension; let’s just go ahead and slap those little guys on the critically endangered list, because — for goodness’ sake, even the poetry she selected speaks so eloquently for itself. How much bitterly myopic dogmatism did these people bring into their reading of this writing to twist the narrative so terribly?
From the retracted-for-being-too-offensive-to-our-sensibilities piece:
Two weeks after the present war began, I took the plunge and again began driving children to hospitals. My own grown-up children were against this, but I was determined to go. The night before my first drive since the war started, my husband and I decided he would accompany me, just in case. My son scoffed at this: Go on your own if you must, he said wryly. If anything happens, we don’t want to lose both our parents. We woke up at 5:00 a.m., made coffee, and waited for the coordinator to give me the go-ahead. The rules had changed: instead of waiting for them in the parking lot of Tarkumia, I was instructed to leave the house only when my passengers had gotten through security. At 6:30, I got the call, and we drove in silence to Tarkumia. The road leading to the checkpoint was deserted; since October 7, Palestinians had been forbidden to leave the West Bank for work in Israel.
We arrived at the parking lot, and I got out of the car. A small boy with a shock of black hair and his father were waiting at the other side of the parking lot. I hesitated as a soldier came up to me, and I fumbled for my driver’s license and the details of my passengers, sent to me earlier: Jad, age three, accompanied by his father. Suddenly, the little boy waved to me from across the way, and I waved back as they walked over to my car. The father spoke a little Hebrew. We introduced ourselves, quickly strapped Jad into the booster, and drove away. Ten minutes later, I dropped my husband off at the junction below my house. I felt safe. I was doing the right thing. This boy deserves medical treatment; he is not a part of the war, I thought. On this first journey, I focused on only the job at hand: to get Jad to the hospital. An hour later, I said goodbye to them outside the pediatric unit of Sheba Medical Center. While the father busied himself removing an overnight case from the trunk of my car, I unbuckled Jad from the booster, and he held out his arms and smiled up at me. Shukran, shukran, thank you, the father said as I cradled Jad in my arms for a moment. And I wanted to say, No, thank you for trusting me with your child. Thank you for reminding me that we can still find empathy and love in this broken world. I followed them with my eyes as they disappeared behind the glass doors of the hospital, and then I switched the radio on.
Two weeks of pause to rebalance emotionally before plunging right back ahead into action largely deemed as stupid, traitorous madness on one side, and hopelessly never enough on the other. Brava to this lady, and what a fucking dunce that Tranen character is for equating Chen’s deeds and words from this essay as supportive in any way of genocide.
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Comment on The psychopolitics of trauma in ~health.mental
Bet LinkPoint made, but the phrasing is poorly done enough to detract from the message. There is a flippancy here that I personally do not find appropriate to the subject, especially coming from a...An acquaintance of mine who got raped now seems to have a pretty rape-centric view of the world. Whenever she talks to me, it’s to tell me some new fact about rape that she recently learned or thought about. She seems to spend her time planning and debating interesting new governance structures that communities can use to prevent rape. While I think this is healthy (she is using her bad experience to potentially help others), it sometimes seems to go beyond that; I cannot imagine that most of her speculation ends in concrete changes to social norms. In any case, she certainly isn’t doing the “expected” victim behavior of meticulously avoiding all rape-related stimuli.
(She might have gotten off easy: a lot of victims develop rape fetishes. Again, not judging; again, doesn’t fit the usual victims-avoid-stimuli view.)
Point made, but the phrasing is poorly done enough to detract from the message. There is a flippancy here that I personally do not find appropriate to the subject, especially coming from a psychiatrist.
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Comment on European crash tester says carmakers must bring back physical controls. In 2026, Euro NCAP points will be deducted if some controls aren't physical. in ~transport
Bet LinkNone of this sounds as if it is meant to serve the consumer.Digitizing more elements of the vehicle experience also means some carmakers can fix bugs or ship new features through over-the-air, internet updates, which can save drivers a visit to a repair shop. Looking to the future, marketers have also expressed interest in using in-car screens to serve revenue-generating advertising, especially as driver-assistances and autonomous driving features mature.
None of this sounds as if it is meant to serve the consumer.
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Comment on The limits of the lunchbox moment in ~food
Bet Link ParentVery, very likely. And this particular sandwich is no more mysterious or remarkable than toast with butter and preserves, as it quite literally is just un-toasted bread with butter and preserves....Very, very likely. And this particular sandwich is no more mysterious or remarkable than toast with butter and preserves, as it quite literally is just un-toasted bread with butter and preserves.
Notably, the southeastern US — where poverty still abounds — does have a lot of recipes and ingredients that I haven’t really found in other places, so I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised if this is another one.
And I can’t believe how much I’m writing about this one very specific sandwich. I don’t even prefer it, lol; it’s just that it’s so normal to have seen at people’s houses plated with other grab-and-run finger foods whilst growing up that it struck me as odd to see it in the article.
Well, I suppose I’ve learned something new about what a few of my fellow Americans consider to be common eating today.
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Comment on The limits of the lunchbox moment in ~food
Bet Link Parent… I just said it’s a food native to pockets of the US; in my experience, southern, mostly. So why in the world would she need to learn about British cuisine? I feel like, ludicrously enough, you...She needs to learn about the wonders of British cuisine.
… I just said it’s a food native to pockets of the US; in my experience, southern, mostly. So why in the world would she need to learn about British cuisine?
I feel like, ludicrously enough, you are giving me an unintentional crash course in the opinions this woman encountered within her peer group at a younger age.
PB&J made by aliens, indeed.
E: Oh, and the butter adds a subtle creaminess and improves the texture, as far as I’d say. Best give it a go yourself, though; might like it. You never know.
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Comment on The limits of the lunchbox moment in ~food
Bet LinkUmmmmmm. Sorry, but that’s one sandwich that is definitely ubiquitous to at least the southeastern US. There is nothing weird or off-putting or even remotely foreign about some orange marmalade...By middle school, Mallikarjuna’s mom began making her sandwiches, but sandwiches that in no way resembled anything her white friends recognized. “I’d open up my sandwich and on one slice of bread would just be plain unsalted butter, and on the other side would be orange marmalade with the skin in it, which I fucking hate,” she said. Even when her lunches consisted of “Western” food, there was something different about them.
Ummmmmm. Sorry, but that’s one sandwich that is definitely ubiquitous to at least the southeastern US. There is nothing weird or off-putting or even remotely foreign about some orange marmalade (rind always included; ‘tisn’t a jam or a jelly, for goodness’ sake!) and a spread of cold butter over two pieces of plain bread.
That is very much one of the most regular-degular WASP foods, for sure. Poor southern people food in general, in fact. Lol. Everyone eats this. I’m in a state of perplexity and befuddlement, a state of bemusement, just thinking about how this woman probably still to this day believes that most other white American people would believe this particular sandwich, of all possible sandwiches, to be strange.
Little old grandmas of every color and creed — including, most pertinently, all of the white grandmas who have been jarring their own various preserves for years now — native to the US might have a good laugh over the terribly limited fruit spread expertise of this person’s former middle school friends and classmates.
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Comment on Etsy sellers are turning free fanfiction into printed and bound physical books [against the wishes of the authors], and listing them for sale for more than $100 per book in ~books
Bet Link ParentIt’s not immaturity, it’s demoralization. And this is actually part of the issue — this strange idea that these people who have freely and enthusiastically dedicated so much of their time and...- Exemplary
Pulling your writing from the internet in response seems like an immature reaction.
It’s not immaturity, it’s demoralization.
And this is actually part of the issue — this strange idea that these people who have freely and enthusiastically dedicated so much of their time and effort to something they simply enjoy are somehow immature in their reactions to this because they didn’t immediately turn into savvy, competition-undercutting experts, or just ignore the issue going forward and turn off their caring.
But writing fanfic is a hobby; it’s a labor of love — it is literally built on nothing but care. And these people are justifiably hurt that someone is taking something that they’ve created, which has meaning to them, and using it in a way that might catalyze a backlash against fandom as a whole yet again.
And, on a personal note, separate but adjacent to the fanfic rip-off topic:
I am so incredibly frustrated with this. The almost ever-present, cynical undertone to almost every conversation about the arts, professional as well as hobby, that always seems to come down to solely profit. To how we can strip this down and get that money. Streamline it! — who cares about the process? — any time not spent scheming and selling is a waste, and you let me see it for free, so it’s mine to do with as I want! We’ll use you as our golden goose, but no, no no no, don’t complain about it! We don’t want to hear that!
We are actively demoralizing ourselves and sucking ourselves dry of inspiration, because we are causing the act of sharing our enthusiasm, joyful ingenuity, and trust in open communal spaces to feel too risky, too easily preyed upon, too dangerous. Putting one’s heart out there should not feel like either whispering into empty, echoing, lonely space or running head-first into an open, ravenous corporate mouth, with hardly anything else in-between.
Just take a look at the posts here in the last few days. It’s the same thing over and over. One way or another, we need robust protections for artistic pursuits, or people will simply withdraw from them, and then we’ll only have lost more of even those digital third spaces where people have built years and years of deeply-rooted communities; some of the only places left for us to congregate.
As things are now, without some sort of legislative power to rein all of this in, we are only further discouraging ourselves from attempting to form anything other than the most superficial of connections, because we simply do not want to keep being taken advantage of.
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Comment on Three long-term effects of a "plastic wrap parenting" style in ~life
Bet LinkNothing could possibly be more easily foreseen than these three particular consequences. My step-sibling is one of these kids. At 17, they have the decision-making capabilities of a much, much...Here are three unforeseen consequences of plastic wrap parenting on children.
Nothing could possibly be more easily foreseen than these three particular consequences.
My step-sibling is one of these kids. At 17, they have the decision-making capabilities of a much, much younger child. It is very noticeable. No, there is nothing divergent about them; only extreme over -indulgence and -protectiveness has shaped them into this terribly helpless person, whilst simultaneously giving them the unfortunate and persisting impression of being both more and less integral to others’ situations in nonsensical ways.
An example of the parenting: I once was breaking down cardboard boxes, and enlisted my step-sibling to assist me. Their mother and my father, who had been moving heavy furniture and equipment, immediately left off what they were doing and leapt in to break down the flimsy cardboard box (singular, because I only asked the kid to take care of one) for them. Damn near dove across the room to do this exceedingly simple task for a teenager. Weirdest, most unnecessary intervention ever, and not nearly the only instance of this.
And the most detrimental side effect of this treatment is the kid’s now habitual expectation that someone (who is definitely not them) will do anything even remotely inconvenient for them, always. They also do not have the ability to preemptively discern the likely future results of their own current actions. It’s like watching someone be new at every single thing they ever encounter; they hit a difficulty and then they just… stop and wait for someone to intervene on their behalf, because it has become so ingrained in their psyche that this - the absolute lack of attempting to solve or surmount a problem for themself - is the solution to everything. And, for all intents and purposes, so far, they’ve been right.
And, to be frank, from what I’ve observed within my own family, a good portion of this ridiculousness stems from a pure unwillingness to teach, because proper teaching requires an immense, very time-consuming, and consistent effort. It requires thought. And if done right, there should be a degree of unpredictability to it. Often, guiding a person — which must include letting them make and deal with their own mistakes or experiencing being uncomfortable and awkward and unaccustomed to novel situations — can breed frustration, and can feel overwhelming and pointless. It requires patience, and an understanding that this is an exercise in perseverance. But, just knocking obstacles out of the way is so much easier for the parent. It is instant, rather than delayed, gratification, and the best part is that it appears to be so very caring and helpful, when it is, in fact, stripping away the present and future autonomy from a dependent.
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A few excerpts from one very interesting article. The concluding thoughts, which I did not add here, are especially poignant and thought-provoking.
However, on a personal note, all I could think while reading this was of how awful the situation must be for kids with abusive parents/guardians. Having grown up in an environment of being surveilled and recorded in the home, and remembering the absolute full-body shock of terror and mind-racing panic felt in my youth when my guardians would pop up at my school unexpectedly, I can all too clearly imagine what life would look like with today’s acceptance of extreme 24/7 observance of children by their parents.
So, apart from the issues discussed within the article, this constant lack of privacy is such a horrible thing. My heart bleeds for those young people trapped in such inescapable conditions. There are better ways to ensure children’s safety and to be involved; and we need to quickly find and implement them.