Bet's recent activity
-
Comment on Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of January 26 in ~society
-
A new anti-political fervor
13 votes -
Comment on Inside the conservative campus revolution in ~society
-
Inside the conservative campus revolution
23 votes -
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentI’ve genuinely never experienced that, so I’ll just take your word for it. And, honestly, as long as all of that is all happening solely internally and one can remain respectful and it in no way...I’ve genuinely never experienced that, so I’ll just take your word for it.
And, honestly, as long as all of that is all happening solely internally and one can remain respectful and it in no way affects how one treats the subject of their attention, then it is what it is.
But, for the record, when I say ‘turn on’ I was referring to a specific class of behavior that was very outwardly disrespectful. There is a subset of person who places all responsibility for their own desires on the subjects of those desires and acts out in various ways to bend said subject’s will towards their own self-appointed goals. They usually fall into believing that if they see something and they like it, then it must be there for their taking.
These types must be dealt with immediately, because, if even one is allowed to linger, that mindset will spread, and it will spread fast.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentYes, lol, exactly. I agree with everything you’ve written on this thread. And I’d just like to tag on a quick, complementary thought here for everyone, because I feel it is being overlooked: The...Yes, lol, exactly. I agree with everything you’ve written on this thread.
And I’d just like to tag on a quick, complementary thought here for everyone, because I feel it is being overlooked:
The entire BOH staff were heterosexual, cis men.
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again — I faced no sexual harassment from any of my coworkers. They understood the whole premise upon which the industry was based, they understood how to comport themselves accordingly, and they understood that, as you said, just advertising that it’s okay to look:
doesn't mean they are pitching anything else, like that touching or gross comments or whatever else, are automatically okay.
We were there to talk to the patrons, to be observed by people, and to be poorly flirted with, lol — all of that was included with the food and the drinks, and all of that was perfectly okay because we explicitly consented to it.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentNo, I’ve been on this site long enough to recognize certain handles, chocobean’s being one of them. I didn’t read any sarcasm in their remarks. They always engage in good faith, and I see no...No, I’ve been on this site long enough to recognize certain handles, chocobean’s being one of them. I didn’t read any sarcasm in their remarks. They always engage in good faith, and I see no reason to doubt them now.
And anyway, who cares even if they had? Sarcasm is no great sin in my book.
Glad to hear you assume no ill will of me, definitelynotafae; I’d just feel terrible if you had.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentI’m not comparing those things, I’m just acknowledging that they are all part and parcel of rape culture in response to chocobean’s inclusion of that bit about the judge being horrible to that...I feel like you're being kind of aggressive comparing "male gaze" to "legitimate rape" or "what was she wearing" as if those are somehow the same sort of thing in response to chocobean saying this was their own hangup, not the restaurant itself.
I’m not comparing those things, I’m just acknowledging that they are all part and parcel of rape culture in response to chocobean’s inclusion of that bit about the judge being horrible to that rape victim.
I’m also not being aggressive — I just speak this way. I speak with humor, lol, but maybe you can’t hear it. That’s alright; we read with the voice we give people in our heads, and you don’t seem to be giving me much benefit of the doubt.
I enjoyed reading what chocobean had to say, btw. It’s a facet of their world shared earnestly, and that’s why I bothered to respond to them. I shared a bit about my viewpoint — that’s it.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentOh, do we feel super safe? Or do we simply not stop doing what we want just because society might view us through a multitude of certain critical and unsympathetic lenses? It’s no less safe than...Oh, do we feel super safe? Or do we simply not stop doing what we want just because society might view us through a multitude of certain critical and unsympathetic lenses?
It’s no less safe than any other job I’ve had, and I’ve had a wide variety of them. I earlier stated that the threshold for sexual harassment was lower, and that’s because we were aware of how little leeway we had within that context. I had a blast working these establishments, and one of the main reasons was the lack of sexual harassment from coworkers combined with the fact that everyone was on the same page about nipping bad behavior from patrons in the bud before it could flourish and affect us all.
I honestly have not found any other workplace where I was not socially or formally punished for not having given the benefit of the doubt to someone skating the line with what people like to excuse as ‘friendly, oblivious, or lonely’ behavior since working in that industry. And this isn’t me claiming that that’s how it was for everyone, only that I can see no good reason to disregard my own lived experiences.
Also, I’m me wherever I go — which means nothing to anyone reading this because you can’t see me, but it’s also not irrelevant to this conversation. And yes — the male gaze, “legitimate rape”, wearing the wrong clothes, being the wrong type of person… yea, I’m aware of all of that; I’m affected by it, too. Everyone is.
But, what can I say — I’d already decided long before I’d ever stepped foot through that first pair of breasturant doors and breasted boobily inside to inquire about possibly applying for a job that I would simply engage with my life as I saw fit.
And I can’t say I regret my decision.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet (edited )Link ParentYes, exactly. And I’ll just add that the same could also be said about a lot of other groups that regularly booked space where I worked, even when they were, presumably, groups of heterosexual...Yes, exactly. And I’ll just add that the same could also be said about a lot of other groups that regularly booked space where I worked, even when they were, presumably, groups of heterosexual men. They just thought it was a chill environment — and they were right, it was.
In fact, most interactions I had in a workday were just… benign. Very normal, run-of-the-mill stuff.
ETA: Oh, I replied before I saw your edit with the last bit.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentI’m going to have to jump in here with a quick note: Queer people of all stripes visited where I worked all of the time. We actually had a club of queer poly people who booked for an event every...I’m going to have to jump in here with a quick note: Queer people of all stripes visited where I worked all of the time. We actually had a club of queer poly people who booked for an event every first Wednesday of the month, and they were an absolute riot.
Plenty of my regular customer base were gay men and women — and I’m not free-handedly labeling them; they were clear about who they were themselves — and they were some of my all-time favorite people to be around.
I’m not trying to take away from what you are saying here, only pigging-backing as I just realized that people might not know that queer people were also part of the picture.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentDrug use as an issue is pretty par for the course, but not in any way specific to themed sports bar type restaurants; it’s just one of those broadly acknowledged elements of working in the...Drug use as an issue is pretty par for the course, but not in any way specific to themed sports bar type restaurants; it’s just one of those broadly acknowledged elements of working in the restaurant business overall.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentI’m drawing a blank; what “less honorable reasons” could there be for simply… being waitstaff at a mid-tier, local restaurant? Also, you seem to have missed one very specific, glaringly obvious...There are less honorable reasons, too, I'm sure
I’m drawing a blank; what “less honorable reasons” could there be for simply… being waitstaff at a mid-tier, local restaurant?
Also, you seem to have missed one very specific, glaringly obvious reason a person might opt to work at one of these places: It’s fun.
And being surrounded every day by beautiful people isn’t exactly a hardship.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet Link ParentNeither do I, and I’m struggling with how not to be sarcastic while pointing out the obvious here, so I’ll limit myself to simply saying that your uncle, along with many of the fathers described...I don't really understand the concept of wanting to be turned on as you're eating
Neither do I, and I’m struggling with how not to be sarcastic while pointing out the obvious here, so I’ll limit myself to simply saying that your uncle, along with many of the fathers described in other comments, just sounds like a certain type of guy. Plenty of people can and do go out to eat with their kids at these sorts of themed restaurants without making everyone slightly suspicious of or uncomfortable with their motives.
A waitstaff comprised of pretty ladies all decked out in outfits no more offensive or revealing than those worn by cheerleaders isn’t there to ‘turn anyone on’. These aren’t strip clubs or topless bars — though I have no doubt there are those who do not recognize or understand the difference — these are sports restaurants/bars.
I worked at these types of establishments, and just so happened to be one of the people who would step in to keep an eye on things when the vibes were off — and, let me assure you, anyone believing that the waitstaff were there to get them all hot and bothered was a pretty clear-cut ‘vibes are off’ situation. None of us were there to cater to that sort of thing*; we were there to sell food and drinks, albeit with a gimmick.
*Playful banter was an aspect of the job — hence the whole “casting” thing. FOH were hired as ‘entertainers’, and were expected to be fun to be around, to literally be entertaining, to create a carefree, upbeat environment, as part of the job. Most of the time this simply meant not being too curt with service or a Debbie downer while on the floor. We were required to spend at least a portion of our time chatting with customers about whatever, just being engaging, as opposed to other restaurants where the FOH staff light-heartedly joking around was not an expected part of the experience.
But it does occupy a space in my mind as to how the 00s felt like.
Very much so.
-
Comment on Hooters | Bankrupt in ~food
Bet (edited )LinkI’ve worked in this industry. I know it pretty well, actually. Interesting to see outside perspectives. ETA: “Casting” is a normal, slightly informal restaurant interview nine times out of ten,...I’ve worked in this industry. I know it pretty well, actually. Interesting to see outside perspectives.
ETA: “Casting” is a normal, slightly informal restaurant interview nine times out of ten, guys. They are looking for people with decent people skills, the ability to upsell, etc. — very, very regular stuff.
ETA to the ETA: Lord have mercy, lol. Let me explicitly announce — as an actual, real-life former “breasturant” waitstaff member, front of house — that it is a job very similar in all its foibles and glories as basically any other restaurant job.
To be honest, the threshold for sexual harassment was a lot shallower in these establishments than in normal eateries, in my experience. And none of us were being held against our will any more overtly than the average desperate American worker, and we were all in on the joke — because who would take this stuff seriously? It was all meant to be tongue-in-cheek, PG-13 at most, silly, stupid fun. Just kitschy, cosplaying fun.
And, yes, these were family restaurants, but in the same sense as some family-oriented media does not necessarily cater to little children and therefore requires some appropriately exercised discretion.
Also, for the record, I, too, found myself hella confused by a Twin Peaks restaurant when I first encountered one, lol.
(Also, also, the food was insanely good where I worked, as well as at the places where my friends worked. BOH did not come to play; every damned shift was excellence, all credit to them. This is an establishment by establishment sort of thing, though, so it is understandable that quality would be hit or miss.)
How ICE Already Knows Who Minneapolis Protesters Are
Archive link