I enjoyed this overall, and I like the experimentation with line length. I’m not normally one for enjoying rhymes in poetry, but I think you do a good job at sometimes having the rhyme at the end...
I enjoyed this overall, and I like the experimentation with line length.
I’m not normally one for enjoying rhymes in poetry, but I think you do a good job at sometimes having the rhyme at the end of a line and then mixing it up by having its pair be somewhere in the middle. It kept my interest throughout the piece. The last line was very impactful in the sense that as a reader, I get to experience your/the narrator’s crisis in the body of the poem and then it resolves to a confession that both defines the speaker as gay but also leaves a lingering sense that the process of defining one’s identity isn’t ever really final or done.
My nitpick would be with “HRT”—spelling out hormone replacement therapy would let “therapy” have a nicer cadence/rhyme with “appeal to me.” But this is pretty minor.
I enjoyed this overall, and I like the experimentation with line length.
I’m not normally one for enjoying rhymes in poetry, but I think you do a good job at sometimes having the rhyme at the end of a line and then mixing it up by having its pair be somewhere in the middle. It kept my interest throughout the piece. The last line was very impactful in the sense that as a reader, I get to experience your/the narrator’s crisis in the body of the poem and then it resolves to a confession that both defines the speaker as gay but also leaves a lingering sense that the process of defining one’s identity isn’t ever really final or done.
My nitpick would be with “HRT”—spelling out hormone replacement therapy would let “therapy” have a nicer cadence/rhyme with “appeal to me.” But this is pretty minor.