Littlemushka's recent activity

  1. Comment on Tildes is pushing out the minority voice in ~talk

    Littlemushka
    Link Parent
    This bothers me that you say this. I wasn’t going to say anything at first because I have a inkling you don’t actually want to listen, but rather want to push an agenda on me or my situation. It...

    You haven't seen how some of society treats them negatively, or if you have you've only been exposed to it a small percentage of the time that they have - you see, you walk in your own shoes every day and you're only exposed to the lives of others when you're around to experience it and your very presence may shape the responses of others around. Two minorities out to dinner together are likely to experience a different kind of interaction than either of those same minority individuals when they are out to dinner with someone who is not a minority.

    This bothers me that you say this. I wasn’t going to say anything at first because I have a inkling you don’t actually want to listen, but rather want to push an agenda on me or my situation. It really bothered me yesterday and I decided to bring it up today because it’s been weighing on me.

    The way you wrote this out is incredibly condescending. Like I’ve never thought about the struggles the community I’m living in has gone through. Like you know more about my husbands family and friends, a group of people you’ve never met and I’ve spent two years with. All because you have friends that are minorities so you’re all of a sudden an expert?

    That does not rub me the right way.

    There’s always a deep and personal reason for hate. It doesn’t make it right though. Just because you personally think there’s a good enough excuse for it.

    I find it incredibly hypocritical for you to make this post about listening to others and then talk to me this way.

    I read your comment and knew I only had 2 options.

    Either try so explain myself and my situation better so that you can understand this isn’t just “people hating on the system” but more hating on me because I represent the system to them.

    But then I realized that I would have to spill out all the things that have been done to me and said to me, just for a bunch of people on the internet to pick apart the validity like vultures.

    It took me one year to get my husband to understand what’s been going with me here. One whole year of dismissals and brushing situations aside and acting like it’s all in my head.

    I’m not reliving that again on an Internet forum.

    Or I could just walk away from it.

    I chose to walk away from it, but I had to come back to explain myself because your comment really bothers me.

    It is dismissing, wrapped in a bow of “I care and understand.”

    But ultimately it is dismissing, and the opposite of what you preach in this post.

    Because you may not outright say it, but I can definitely tell you made assumptions about my situation, me, and the other people in it.

    You said it was just “sharing experiences.” But it really comes across as a lecture. And the comment I quoted I think really shows that off.

    15 votes

  2. Comment on Tildes is pushing out the minority voice in ~talk

    Littlemushka
    Link Parent
    I think our experiences may be a bit different.

    I think our experiences may be a bit different.

    6 votes

  3. Comment on Tildes is pushing out the minority voice in ~talk

    Littlemushka
    Link Parent
    You literally only know what I’ve mentioned about my situation, nothing more or less and I don’t really appreciate assumptions about my life.

    You literally only know what I’ve mentioned about my situation, nothing more or less and I don’t really appreciate assumptions about my life.

    7 votes

  4. Comment on Tildes is pushing out the minority voice in ~talk

    Littlemushka
    Link Parent
    I am listening and I do understand and it still hurts. It hurts with the added fact that I’m not afforded the same understanding that I’m trying to give out, which hurts more.

    I am listening and I do understand and it still hurts.

    It hurts with the added fact that I’m not afforded the same understanding that I’m trying to give out, which hurts more.

    8 votes

  5. Comment on Tildes is pushing out the minority voice in ~talk

    Littlemushka
    Link Parent
    Oh believe me, I’m not ignorant to why they feel the way they do. There is a real reason behind it. There is massive wealth inequality around here, and the richer the area the whiter it seems to...

    Oh believe me, I’m not ignorant to why they feel the way they do.

    There is a real reason behind it. There is massive wealth inequality around here, and the richer the area the whiter it seems to be. And with that wealth there is ignorance for sure.

    I’m not sure that I like that the assumption is that I have not been listening.

    10 votes

  6. Comment on Tildes is pushing out the minority voice in ~talk

    Littlemushka
    Link Parent
    I wish we could refrain from it though. I’m not a guy, but I am white and about 2 years ago I moved into a majority Hispanic community to be with my husband. Not pushing anyone out, living in a 3...
    • Exemplary

    I wish we could refrain from it though.

    I’m not a guy, but I am white and about 2 years ago I moved into a majority Hispanic community to be with my husband. Not pushing anyone out, living in a 3 bedroom house with him and his family while we save money for our own place.

    I feel like I was so naive coming into this though. I thought it would be great and I’d learn Spanish and all that. But I’ve felt so much hostility since I’ve been here. Most people treat me like how you described. I’m the gentrifying white lady coming to push everyone out who grew up with a golden spoon in her mouth.

    And the comments just kill me. From my husbands friends, from his sisters. Even from my husband in the past, about “white people”.

    Even on bumble BFF, I’ve seen people put “no white people plz”

    It’s a tough spot to be in because it doesn’t seem to be very common for the most part and it’s hard to get people to understand how stressful and painful it is. I would search google trying to find situations like mine and see what people did. But all I would get would be countless articles about “white tears” and “white fragility” and that just hits like a punch to the gut.

    And then I started noticing it more and more in the media. I listened to a podcast while back and this guy who is a therapist started going off on a rant about “white people” and how “if you’re one of those white people who do this, you need to think twice.”

    And then another podcast that was supposed to be thoughtful discussions about race relations, where a few minutes in the lady says “I have a hard time being friends with white people because they always end up doing something that pisses me off.”

    It’s really starting to effect my mental health, I have no idea where or who to go to about how I’m feeling. All I can really do is try to ignore it and stay away from the media that does that and the people who say those things.

    I feel like this is also similar to what OP is saying in a way. When people don’t understand something that’s very personal to you and start arguing against it’s validity. I have a hard time talking about this stuff because I know in my heart I’m running the risk of it becoming a debate.

    I’m not sure if there’s a point to this comment, I guess just trying to share my personal experiences in hopes of giving some perspective and food for thought.

    16 votes

  7. Comment on Which TV series are most important/meaningful to you? Why? in ~tv

    Littlemushka
    Link
    The Leftovers is probably the biggest emotional connection I’ll ever have to a TV show. I watched it when it first came out and liked it a lot. But for some reason came back to it after my ex...

    The Leftovers is probably the biggest emotional connection I’ll ever have to a TV show.

    I watched it when it first came out and liked it a lot. But for some reason came back to it after my ex fiancé left me a month before our wedding.

    All the topics that the show handled just related to me on a whole different level than it did before. Grief, Trauma, Abandonment, rebuilding your life, re-adjusting, all that stuff. The second time around I truly understood what the characters were going through. Watching their reactions and emotions was like a mirror of my own.

    I definitely stopped watching a few episodes in because I felt I was too low to keep going. Like I needed a break from all this grief and depression in my life.

    That was a few years ago now and I’m doing much better and wonder if I should give it a re-watch again, just for old times sake!

    4 votes