RAD_Teacher's recent activity

  1. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    I mentioned this in a buried comment, but the time I tried to talk to him about a video game we both like, he mockingly told me he doesn't like video games and then submitted an assignment about...

    I mentioned this in a buried comment, but the time I tried to talk to him about a video game we both like, he mockingly told me he doesn't like video games and then submitted an assignment about how much he loves that video game I brought up.

    It's actually pretty funny, like most of what he does. But it wears on you.

    6 votes

  2. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    You have more patience than you know. I don't think you should get into teaching. But your current level of introspection tells me you're an intelligent and empathetic human being. Everyone says...

    You have more patience than you know.

    I don't think you should get into teaching. But your current level of introspection tells me you're an intelligent and empathetic human being.

    Everyone says they would do this or that if a kid disrespected them. But 95% of people wouldn't if they were really there. Because you have a human being in front of you, you know at least some of their story, and they are, for all intents and purposes, a reflection of how they were raised.

    Kids don't have the control an adult has. They are just little bundles of emotion. When I see a kid acting terrible, I know for sure they have a fucked up home life or a fucked up history. Even in families that appear to have it together on the surface. I've never been wrong yet.

    Once in a very blue moon, I'm sure a true psychopath comes along. Good home, good family, mentally ill kid. But it's so rare that I've never seen it myself.

    Anyway, you also find the good. I have so many badass kids come through my room and I've been able to connect with every single one up until the one I mentioned in this post.

    If you do find yourself losing your shit on a child, especially your own, then maybe you'll want to do some self-examination. But give yourself some credit. If you wouldn't kick a homeless person, you wouldn't scream at a distressed child. I promise.

    8 votes

  3. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    I bought a treat for the class and he grabbed a large amount and threw it out. This kind of stuff wears on you eventually no matter how thick your skin is.

    I bought a treat for the class and he grabbed a large amount and threw it out.

    This kind of stuff wears on you eventually no matter how thick your skin is.

    6 votes

  4. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    None of my students are low really. Most have mild to moderate disabilities like dyslexia, autism, etc. and are in a regular classroom setting. The only difference is that there are two teachers...

    None of my students are low really. Most have mild to moderate disabilities like dyslexia, autism, etc. and are in a regular classroom setting. The only difference is that there are two teachers and the class is half special Ed and half general Ed.

    The gen Ed teacher and special Ed teacher work together to make the class accessible to all students. Everyone learns together and works together. It's really cool when it works well.

    As for this student, I think we have to separate motivation and outcome. His motivation for his behavior might be all of the things you mentioned, but the outcome is that he treats people like shit and can be very cruel.

    I have a ton of empathy for the kid. You don't get RAD by having an awesome childhood full of love. And I want to understand his motivations so that I can help him and make him a part of our classroom.

    However, my frustration comes from the impact that this has on his peers. He really can be quite mean and cunning. He is good at hurting other people's feelings, annoying them, and removing their ability to learn. As for how it impacts me personally, I think you're right that part of this involves me taking a step back and reminding myself that it shouldn't bother me. But man, he can really aim for the jugular and get a direct hit when he wants to. And I'm spending so much of my time on his behaviors (documenting, follow up, etc.) that it's stealing my time at home and my time that should be divided more evenly with my other students.

    Anyway, I do take your point and I appreciate the reminder. It's needed from time to time.

    12 votes

  5. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    I'll try. I should focus more on that. I guess I end up feeling betrayed when I do this, which has resulted in me doing it less. I'll compliment him and send a nice message home when he...

    I'll try. I should focus more on that.

    I guess I end up feeling betrayed when I do this, which has resulted in me doing it less. I'll compliment him and send a nice message home when he occasionally has an okay day at school. Hasn't helped yet.

    Also, when I've tried to be kind to him, he generally just mocks me.

    3 votes

  6. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    Please let me know if they have any advice! Thank you so much.

    Please let me know if they have any advice! Thank you so much.

    6 votes

  7. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    You're absolutely right. I would 100% appreciate feedback from people who have RAD personally.

    You're absolutely right. I would 100% appreciate feedback from people who have RAD personally.

    7 votes

  8. Comment on I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help in ~health.mental

    RAD_Teacher
    Link Parent
    Thanks so much for the response. I'm surprised! I worried that my response was too vague since I didn't feel comfortable giving specifics. But even still, you managed to precisely nail this kid's...

    Thanks so much for the response.

    I'm surprised! I worried that my response was too vague since I didn't feel comfortable giving specifics. But even still, you managed to precisely nail this kid's personality and what I assume to be his motivations.

    I have told him that I find him funny and intelligent. Unfortunately, I only get the chance to do this when we are having meetings about his bad behavior. I mostly try to give him space otherwise because he is so negative toward me and doesn't want to interact with me.

    I'll give one specific example. His mom told me about a video game he likes, which is also a game I enjoy. I tried to chat with him about it one time and he looked at me with total confusion on his face. He said, "Okay....? I'm not sure why you're talking to me about this. I don't play video games."

    Later that day, he turns in an assignment that mentions his favorite video game - yep, the one I mentioned.

    Such a huge middle finger to me lol.

    You're probably right that there is a limit on what I can do here. Just figured maybe someone has experience with RAD or something similar, either as a parent or teacher. I may make more attempts to let him know that I see good qualities in him, because I know he isn't getting much positive feedback from people.

    13 votes

  9. I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help

    ~health.mental Ask (advice)
    Special Ed. Teacher here. This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him...

    Special Ed. Teacher here.

    This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him Jake.

    Edit: He's in middle school, btw.

    To protect his privacy and my own, I can't give many specifics. This student is chronically online and I wouldn't put it past him to Google situations he's caused in my class.

    Some vague descriptions of the things he's done this year:

    -Repeatedly jokes about pedophilia and teachers who have been arrested for it. It makes me uncomfortable that he does this, obviously. The only saving grace here is that he has thrown it around so many times, including calling multiple teachers pedophiles last year, that everyone knows he is just being rude and it's not a serious accusation. Thoroughly documented and I'm not really concerned about actually being accused. Fyi, I have informed his adoptive parents and they have informed his counselor. They are taking it seriously and have started investigating whether or not this is just shocking humor or a more serious part of the Jake's history before adoption.

    -Waits for the perfect time to drop rude or shocking comments to inflict maximum damage. When he wants to say something awful to me or in general, he will hold off until he has an audience and the room is relatively quiet.

    -Constantly mocks and shit talks certain students. We have dealt with it. He isn't just getting away with it. But even after consequences, separation from the students, and punishments at home, he doesn't stop. He's hung up on hating a couple of kids in particular but will generally be rude to whoever if he wants to. One of these kids is a scrappy kid from a rough school and I could totally see it ending in punches if we don't manage this.

    -Absolutely refuses to share any serious thoughts. Even when asked what kind of support he needs, what kind of rewards would motivate him, or what's bothering him, he just gives ridiculous answers in a high-pitched voice or walks away. This kid wants no part in coming up with solutions and won't even engage in a conversation about his behavior or even the behavior of others.

    -Speaking of his high pitched voice, this is the voice he always uses to say rude things. He has his normal speaking voice and then he uses this higher pitched voice when he says things that are rude or shocking. Like he has two different brains and one wants to be mean.

    -Last year, he kept a list of times he felt students and teachers had broken the code of conduct.

    -absolutely hates special Ed. Hates me for being a special ed. teacher. Reminds the other kids in my class that they're "special" constantly.

    For the record, all of these things have been addressed many times. The school has been supportive, the parents have been supportive, and everyone knows that this behavior, if continued for much longer, will likely result in a change of programming for this student. He would be placed in a more restrictive setting.

    This is kind of my last ditch effort to see if anyone has ideas, because this student is on the verge of leaving my classroom. If there is anything I can do to make it work with this kid, I would do it immediately. He's smart, witty, and unfortunately very funny in a South Park kind of a way. But he's raising hell every day and he's the first student I've had where it feels like I can't connect with him at all. And not for lack of trying.

    41 votes