smoontjes's recent activity

  1. Comment on Holidays mental health thread in ~health.mental

  2. Comment on Sudan's biggest refugee camp was already struck with famine. Now it's being shelled. in ~news

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    I suppose you're right about that. This was seen in Gaza too - that Hamas grabbed the aid, and instead of giving it away which was what was intended, they sold it. So I guess it would be on the...

    I suppose you're right about that. This was seen in Gaza too - that Hamas grabbed the aid, and instead of giving it away which was what was intended, they sold it. So I guess it would be on the blue helmets to create safe zones in the refugee camps then, but that is of course a big ask of the UN.

  3. Comment on Sudan's biggest refugee camp was already struck with famine. Now it's being shelled. in ~news

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    Is the current ME conflict(s) a proxy wars? I guess a big part of it too, that I didn't think about when writing my comment above, is that Israel is an ally to almost every western country. This...

    Is the current ME conflict(s) a proxy wars?

    I guess a big part of it too, that I didn't think about when writing my comment above, is that Israel is an ally to almost every western country. This probably amplifies the issue a lot. And likely gives media a lot of clicks and engagement online..

  4. Comment on Sudan's biggest refugee camp was already struck with famine. Now it's being shelled. in ~news

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    The US sent aid to Gaza when that population was in danger of starving. Maybe that was a political balancing act to not estrange supporters of Palestine though. But I see no reason why they...

    The US sent aid to Gaza when that population was in danger of starving. Maybe that was a political balancing act to not estrange supporters of Palestine though. But I see no reason why they shouldn't help 25,000,000 innocent victims of famine/on the brink of starvation in Sudan. Trump would not in a million years do it, but Biden has 2 weeks left in office (jfc) so maybe it could be one of his last good deeds as president. Sadly probably a pipe dream though..

    1 vote

  5. Comment on Why I am pursuing a life, professionally and personally, of Christian Virtue in ~humanities

    smoontjes
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    Never mind. Reading the rest of the thread changed my view on this. Hard no to preaching - but fair enough with informative posts about religion itself as long as it's not just bible passages or...

    I would really, really prefer if we didn't do that.

    They could always just use a specific tag. That way, you can filter it if you don't want to see it - I know I don't. But I also don't want to restrict people from talking about a topic they're passionate about (as long as it is not harmful, like the thing about sins as you say)

    Never mind. Reading the rest of the thread changed my view on this. Hard no to preaching - but fair enough with informative posts about religion itself as long as it's not just bible passages or whatever.

    1 vote

  6. Comment on Car drives into people on Christmas market in Germany – death toll rises to four with more than 205 injured in ~news

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    It's really odd that as an anti-Muslim, it's a Christmas market he chose to run his car through. There's not going to be a lot, if any, Muslims there. And it's some real cognitive dissonance to...

    It's really odd that as an anti-Muslim, it's a Christmas market he chose to run his car through. There's not going to be a lot, if any, Muslims there. And it's some real cognitive dissonance to blame ethnic Germans for the perceived Islamization of the country. It would at least make sense if he ran down a high ranking politician or something (although of course still indefensible)

  7. Comment on What’s something you’re personally proud of from this year? in ~life

    smoontjes
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    I don't usually feel pride about anything I do. I feel like most people should be able to do those things because it's hard for me to do even the most basic chores. However one thing is some...

    I don't usually feel pride about anything I do. I feel like most people should be able to do those things because it's hard for me to do even the most basic chores.

    However one thing is some physical things. I am in awful shape, but there have been a few times this year where I have walked 10+ km in one day, despite feet and legs starting to hurt after only 2 or 3 km. I also hadn't been on a bicycle in over 3 years, and managed to last about 15 km on an electric tandem. My legs gave out though so my friend did all the actual cycling for 25 km more. My ass started hurting already after 5 km lol, but I perservered through the pain and it also hurt for several days after.. then about 2 weeks ago I got on a (non-electric) bicycle and did 14 km! Again, legs gave and I was pushed for the final few km - to be fair there were really, really strong headwind as well. And I also got off and walked for maybe 1 km at the end, and also my ass once again hurt for days after lol

    2 votes

  8. Comment on What are some professions, crafts, competitions, or activities in which being older is considered advantageous? in ~talk

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    Thanks for sharing that, it was a great read! I wish I could stop caring how my body looks though. There are so many styles of clothing that I wish I could wear, but I can't because of how awful I...

    Thanks for sharing that, it was a great read! I wish I could stop caring how my body looks though. There are so many styles of clothing that I wish I could wear, but I can't because of how awful I feel it looks on me

  9. Comment on You make friends *HERE*?! in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    I managed to break into a 100+ users one once, but that was only because I constantly 'sacrificed' my own energy by asking others questions or engaging in topics that others were interested in. It...

    I managed to break into a 100+ users one once, but that was only because I constantly 'sacrificed' my own energy by asking others questions or engaging in topics that others were interested in. It was really draining, but at least I met one who has been a good friend for a couple of years now whom I speak (chat) to daily. So I guess it was worth it because of that one friendship.

    I met two others irl much both have fizzled out since then.. edit: feel free to skip this paragraph as it's just me venting. One was a really harsh person, you know the type that's "just being honest"? I tried to ignore it but there was almost always harsh comments about other people when we hanged out. Including lecturing me about that I shouldn't have cut off my father because blood is thicker than water (except the full quote is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" /eyeroll. When I told her why I cut him off (neglect and emotional abuse) all she said was "well then you should go to the police". She would also often rant about unemployed people and mentally ill - even though I am both. Again I just tried to ignore it to keep the friendship intact, but I really regret not telling her off and honestly put her in her place. The strange thing is that she is hardcore leftist but then somehow culturally conservative even though she's queer, and even though she's out and very much visibly so, and her family very much knows all about it, but they still refuse her. So everyone pretends she's not queer at all which is.. whew. Finally, she accused me of stealing because she couldn't get a €100 loot box to work - like, instantly her very first thought was that I stole from her! But literally two minutes later she figured it out. She never apologized for it, so that was the final straw and I didn't even care to explain why I ghosted her. Just a kind of bad person honestly.

    And the other one is kind of funny there wasn't much chemistry so it fizzled out pretty quick and also because she and my ex got together so at least I can laugh about that haha

    So yeah, I very much agree that it is really hard to break into already established communities like that.

    1 vote

  10. Comment on You make friends *HERE*?! in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    Take it with a grain of salt but I saw a number once that communication is 70% body language and expressions. So I feel like that's a pretty fair number for what an online friend is. So like,...

    I've had a few for many years. It is not the same as IRL friends.

    Take it with a grain of salt but I saw a number once that communication is 70% body language and expressions. So I feel like that's a pretty fair number for what an online friend is. So like, online friends give you about 30% of what an irl friend would give you in terms of happiness or love you feel (or whatever you can measure it in) from hanging out and whatnot.

  11. Comment on You make friends *HERE*?! in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    The oldest zoomers are only a year and 9 days away from being 30 years old. Kind of crazy to think about!

    The oldest zoomers are only a year and 9 days away from being 30 years old. Kind of crazy to think about!

  12. Comment on You make friends *HERE*?! in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    How about a walking group and such? DC is a metropolis right? There's bound to be something to this effect?

    And, ok, cycling. Except I haven't seen a cycling group for people woefully out of shape to cycle together in the DC area.

    How about a walking group and such? DC is a metropolis right? There's bound to be something to this effect?

  13. Comment on Holidays mental health thread in ~health.mental

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    Yes, absolutely. Family is kind of used to me not showing up to about half of things - everyone knows I struggle with my mental health - although nobody talks about it.. they either don't know how...

    Is it possible to make something up so you don't have to go to those gatherings?

    Yes, absolutely. Family is kind of used to me not showing up to about half of things - everyone knows I struggle with my mental health - although nobody talks about it.. they either don't know how to address it, what to ask, how to help, or just want to ignore it because birthdays and holidays are meant to be celebratory and talking to me about the majority of what's going on in my life is a downer and can ruin the mood. There are times where I have showed up anyway and just been super quiet and I can clearly tell it's uncomfortable for those around me. People even move to another table after a few moments..

    But yeah, I can definitely just pretend it's the usual difficulties. And I am for sure going to do that. Nobody would question it. So I guess that's a positive from an otherwise all around shit situation

    Thank you for your comment, anyway. I really appreciate it

    2 votes

  14. Comment on Sudan's biggest refugee camp was already struck with famine. Now it's being shelled. in ~news

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    One fifth is 8 million people. They are staggering numbers. It's a forgotten war and I don't quite understand why. Surely the numbers should draw more attention to it? Is it because both sides of...

    Although it is overshadowed by wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, Sudan's 20-month conflict has killed as many as 150,000 people, according to some estimates. It has led to the world's worst displacement crisis, affecting 1 in 5 of the country's prewar population.

    One fifth is 8 million people. They are staggering numbers.

    It's a forgotten war and I don't quite understand why. Surely the numbers should draw more attention to it? Is it because both sides of the war are a lot more complex to understand, and nobody is really 'good'? But the current ME conflicts are also highly complex. Then again, the disagreement in the west is about Israel and its de facto apartheid state, so anything they do is highly scrutinized. But just going off numbers of internally displaced and the number of starving and victims of famine, it is so much worse than what's happening in the ME (not that that isn't disastrous as well). One thing is clear though: Sudan is a tragedy and I guess at least everyone can agree on that.. personally, I feel it deserves at least an equal amount of attention in media as the ME war.

    7 votes

  15. Comment on Two killed and scores injured in Germany as car ploughs into crowd at Christmas market in ~news

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    No idea how I missed that, sorry for the duplicate post

    No idea how I missed that, sorry for the duplicate post

    2 votes

  16. Comment on You make friends *HERE*?! in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    I have the same problem with big servers and by big I mean more than like 10 active per day and maybe 50 members in total although not all active kinda. I feel like discord is more so an extension...

    I have the same problem with big servers and by big I mean more than like 10 active per day and maybe 50 members in total although not all active kinda. I feel like discord is more so an extension of group chats than anything else, so those huge ones with hundreds of users is just spammy, impossible to keep up with, and then the dozens of separate channels? Just too hard and time consuming to engage with I feel. Can't connect with anyone that way really. It does also mean that it's impossible for me to find new communities because those smaller discords are private and not really shared

    14 votes

  17. Comment on You make friends *HERE*?! in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link
    Yip, met one of my best friends here because she saw one of my posts on ~lgbt, found it relatable, dm'd me, and then invited me to a discord server. Then after a few months of being there we...

    Yip, met one of my best friends here because she saw one of my posts on ~lgbt, found it relatable, dm'd me, and then invited me to a discord server. Then after a few months of being there we started dm'ing a lot more about whatever we had in common that we talked about on the discord with the others there. To be fair, it's a lot easier to get to know people in the LGBT community since we know from the get-go that there are going to be a lot of shared life experiences without having even talked by just knowing the other person is queer.. because it's the same story for nearly everyone - a confusing youth, a coming into your own, and maybe some delayed, if any, milestones.

    We have now visited each other 3 times for a week each time across 2 countries (about 1 Texas to be fair), and it's surprisingly cheap. Cost me only €100 to go from Copenhagen to Amsterdam, and Odense to Groningen the other time was about €80. Takes like upwards of 10 hours though that's alright for some good times and seeing tons of things every day.

    Shoutout to @x08 for being a great person and messaging me first back then..!

    Anyway I've also had some chats with people based on posts on ~health.mental too, with very gracious help or offers of listening to me or the other way around. As well as just relatable experiences. However, I will say that trauma bonding isn't exactly an ideal way to get to know someone.

    There's also a huge age span on Tildes though. I think I'm on the younger end at 31. Seems like most are 40+ here? So it might be difficult to find someone at the approximately appropriate age with whom you have chemistry I guess. So my advice has already kind of been posted in other comments, but yeah consistently engaging in subtildes' is the way to go. That way you start to recognize usernames and eventually you find out that you vibe particularly well with a certain user. Maybe someone then dm's you or you dm them ^^ But it's a time and patience thing.

    21 votes

  18. Comment on Tildes End-of-Year 'Awards' 2024 in ~talk

  19. Comment on Tildes Demographics Survey, year… uh, it’s 2024? in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    "I'm not homophobic/transphobic/racist/xenophobic but why do I have to hear about them"

    It gives off real "I'm reminded that different types of people exist and I don't like it, even though they're over there not bothering me" energy.

    "I'm not homophobic/transphobic/racist/xenophobic but why do I have to hear about them"

    8 votes

  20. Comment on Tildes Demographics Survey, year… uh, it’s 2024? in ~tildes

    smoontjes
    Link Parent
    Huh? I took the survey the day you posted it and I don't remember that question at all? Also, Tildes is very leftist so I'm note sure why this person is surprised. Also also, what the hell does...

    Tildes's leftism is absurd when it gets to the point where you felt the need to include a question for fake DID self-diagnosers.

    Huh? I took the survey the day you posted it and I don't remember that question at all?

    Also, Tildes is very leftist so I'm note sure why this person is surprised.

    Also also, what the hell does leftism have to do with psychiatric diagnoses lol

    5 votes