TreeFiddyFiddy's recent activity
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Comment on LGBT and marginalized voices are not welcome on Threads in ~lgbt
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Comment on LGBT and marginalized voices are not welcome on Threads in ~lgbt
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentI'm going to be charitable and assume that you're not just purposefully choosing innocuous examples. I'm also not talking about transgender people which is a subject I don't intend to reach with...I'm going to be charitable and assume that you're not just purposefully choosing innocuous examples. I'm also not talking about transgender people which is a subject I don't intend to reach with this narrative. If we're going to be intellectually honest here we're going to have to admit that things exist on a spectrum and what is socially acceptable and abnormal can at some point cross over into finding wide disgust or condemnation, any inability for commenters to envision something more egregious than saying "my wife," routine PDA, or wearing trousers is a gross failure of imagination and doubly any failure for someone to be able to put themselves into someone else's frame of mind (in this case a normal American socially centrist or conservative individual) is a huge part of the political problem we face in the US.
What you call appeasing is at a certain point conforming to social norms or what I call, living in a society. Gay culture has always existed outside of social norms and, quite frankly, can be at times pretty extreme compared with what average people find acceptable in life or at least what average people feel is acceptable to disclose in real life. There are a lot of social norms that I violate as a gay man but I keep those private outside my very closest of friends, for whatever reason a lot of gay people no longer feel the need to keep those things private. And to be very clear, we're not talking about me talking about my boyfriend, holding his hand, or giving each other a kiss in public. If you imagine a line that wider society generally deems as acceptable and cannot imagine what things may constitute crossing that line by a margin large enough to turn public opinion against gay people, then I don't think me giving any examples would help this conversation at all.
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Comment on LGBT and marginalized voices are not welcome on Threads in ~lgbt
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentFair, I'm still not going to single any groups of people out but I will say that what I'm talking about is much more of the latter and almost none of the former. In any situation where you could...Fair, I'm still not going to single any groups of people out but I will say that what I'm talking about is much more of the latter and almost none of the former. In any situation where you could replace a heterosexual couple with a homosexual one in a situation the majority of mainstream Americans would not find objectionable (i.e. light PDA) are expressly not what I'm talking about here, I'm talking about things that a lot of mainstream Americans would think of as very "weird."
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Comment on LGBT and marginalized voices are not welcome on Threads in ~lgbt
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentI'm going to decline to give examples, it's a big reason why I deleted my original novel-length comment. I don't want to muddy the waters or point fingers at any particular sub-cultures. I will...I'm going to decline to give examples, it's a big reason why I deleted my original novel-length comment. I don't want to muddy the waters or point fingers at any particular sub-cultures. I will say that I think that Americans have lost the plot on public decorum largely due to social media and that goes equally both for straight and gay people.
There's also the problem that a lot of the phenomena I'm talking about used to be isolated to big cities, things that would freak out a Midwesterner would hardly make a New Yorker look twice. Now those types of lifestyles are on public display to anyone online and the non-big city folks are still going to be pretty freaked out about it, especially when their kids start emulating big city lifestyles in small town environments. It's unfortunate that people aren't just free to be who they want to be and in and idealized world I'd like to see that but societies need a certain level of social cohesion and conformity to function and I think in some ways we're starting to run up to the edge of that.
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Comment on LGBT and marginalized voices are not welcome on Threads in ~lgbt
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentI wrote a huge nuanced comment about what I think is a major cause of this but I deleted it when I realized that the more words I added were making my point less clear and that this message won't...Is it just me or has open, blatant queerphobia and misogyny gotten really bad lately?
I wrote a huge nuanced comment about what I think is a major cause of this but I deleted it when I realized that the more words I added were making my point less clear and that this message won't really be taken well by a lot of people.
I will simply say that homosexuality won acceptance with the love-is-love campaign, messaging that signaled to mainstream Americans that gay people wanted the same thing they did and arguing against two people simply wanting to love each other was so difficult that even many socially conservative religious people began to accept gay people either outright or in a live-and-let-live compromise of their values. Gay people showed straight people, we're just like you. Well, we've come a long way from those days and the way that gay people are portraying themselves in social media and increasingly in mainstream media are not at all conducive to inclusive messaging.
Do I believe that people should be allowed to practice what they want, consensually, in how they express themselves and practice forms of sex? Absolutely, 100%, and without judgement aside from occasionally finding something cringy. But do I believe that people should be showcasing this to wide audiences who find that content objectionable and socially abnormal? No, and I believe that the latter puts serious risk to the hard won acceptance of homosexuality. I think the fight for acceptance still struggles on but we are just not at a point in American society where it's okay to be that different and not expect people to start to form bad associations or even push back against acceptance in general.
I'm not arguing at all for people do go back into the closet, I think seeing two men walk romantically hand in hand down the street should be normalized and accepted without reservation but some of the things I've been seeing from fellow members of the community, both in public and online, are a far cry from that. I think others are correct that Trump normalized right-wing incivility and that social media encourages widespread incivility in general but I think we as a community need to take a hard look at how we portray ourselves to outsiders and understand how they are going to react to that, even when that reaction is not justifiable it's still the reality of the situation.
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Comment on I was an MIT educated neurosurgeon. Now I'm unemployed and alone in the mountains. How did I get here? in ~health.mental
TreeFiddyFiddy LinkAm I the only one who found this video intensely bizarre? Dr. Goobie seems to be externalizing all of his problems when, to me, a lot of his problems are deeply internal. He blames a...Am I the only one who found this video intensely bizarre?
Dr. Goobie seems to be externalizing all of his problems when, to me, a lot of his problems are deeply internal. He blames a commercialized medical system, which I frankly don't believe exists to the extent he insinuates it does, which he became disillusioned with after "discovering" what science and medicine has been telling us for decades now re: sleeping well, eating well, movement, social involvement, regulation of emotions, and all of the impact on the body and health those things can have. The whole time he's ignoring that only one-third of hospitals in the US are for profit, that integrative medicine is a thing and can both pay his bills while giving the exact type of medical treatment that he clearly cares deeply about, that even if everyone lived healthy lifestyles spine and brain surgery would still very much be a thing, and that neurosurgery can be practiced in a clinic setting which would be night and day different than in a hospital setting. And then he talks about how much better he feels after leaving neurosurgery because he now sleeps well, eats well, moves, has more social involvement, and can better regulate his emotions....the exact things that he knows are what can heal a body.
Instead of someone who finds balance, he strikes me as someone who can't seem to see the bigger picture. He goes to work with a world expert on machine-brain interfaces and gives up when he realizes that because of immune defenses the interfaces can never be permanent, which I don't believe is necessarily universally true and completely ignores that this is an emerging field in its infancy that needs people like him to do the research and overcome these problems. He becomes disillusioned with his job and instead of seeking alternatives or trying to effect any sort of change, he accepts this is the way it is and sees the issue as black and white: either leave or suffer. Instead of finding balance in his life he takes the extreme to leave it all and wander nature, as if millions of professionals working in intense industries don't find ways to both get the job done and be healthy.
I know this comment is getting very ranty but Dr. Goobie is unfortunately a type of person that I'm all too familiar with. Highly educated, academically successful individuals who struggle with not finding success (however they define it), and have difficulty operating outside of very narrow confines. My ex from a long term relationship is a doctor who works in a hospital and while he is very successful professionally, he struggles to function in the real world and sees things very black and white. When met with any challenge that fell outside of his narrow capabilities as a doctor he was prone to giving up, for whatever reason these type of people are deeply negatively affected by any perception of failure or the possibility thereof.
I was having lunch with an accomplished neurosurgeon friend of mine and he was complaining about doctors who worked in hospitals (he worked in a private clinic). When I asked him why, he explained that in his experience the doctors in hospitals were the academic go getters who strive for status and achievement and that while they are very competent in the hospital setting they are almost like children outside of it - at times very immature and unable to cope - because their worldviews and experience are so narrow. I was flabbergasted as I told him he was describing my ex partner to a T. And in much the same way, Dr. Goobie strikes me as exactly this type of person.
I'm very glad that he found happiness and healing but I'm struggling to understand what I'm supposed to take away from this video. I don't see someone who realized they are a cog in the wheel of late-stage capitalism and heroically decided to give up the rat race to find peace in nature, I see someone who is probably deeply troubled internally and was able to find convenient external excuses for his shortcomings that don't really stand up to further scrutiny
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Comment on Where can men go to become better men? (gifted link) in ~life.men
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentI just have to ask the question, with no malice intended, because your comment seems so off the mark but did you read the article? What I found most interesting about this form of men's therapy...I just have to ask the question, with no malice intended, because your comment seems so off the mark but did you read the article? What I found most interesting about this form of men's therapy was that it was not about telling men how to be a man but rather about helping men heal their trauma to become better versions of themselves. Practices such as participants finding their own, specific, inner power or connecting them with masculine role models who they would like to be more like. I don't understand your allusion to sociopolitical wings or where you get the idea that the article discusses what being a man means.
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Comment on Where can men go to become better men? (gifted link) in ~life.men
TreeFiddyFiddy LinkA brief and candid look into a secretive men's work program named All Kings. These modern takes on men's rights of passage in a nature setting bring men of all different backgrounds together to...A brief and candid look into a secretive men's work program named All Kings. These modern takes on men's rights of passage in a nature setting bring men of all different backgrounds together to bond and bare their souls, the hope being that what emerges is a healthier role in society that is still firmly grounded in masculinity. Some detractors have doubts but data shows decreased criminal recidivism rates for participants and the author's spouse's subjective feelings of heightened presence in their relationship raises questions about what modern men need and can gain from a form of masculinity that is at once ancient and yet a breath of fresh air in the modern context.
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Where can men go to become better men? (gifted link)
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Comment on Online Scythe gaming group in ~games.tabletop
TreeFiddyFiddy LinkI am also down for this, please send the Discord or Steam group! I don't have the game yet but will probably pick it up during the summer sale at the end of the monthI am also down for this, please send the Discord or Steam group! I don't have the game yet but will probably pick it up during the summer sale at the end of the month
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Comment on EU expected to impose import tariffs on Chinese electric vehicles in ~transport
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentIt's not about China stopping the sale of solar panels, in the case of Russian gas the risk was never that Russia would stop the sale of it. The problem is that when you are dependent on a country...It's not about China stopping the sale of solar panels, in the case of Russian gas the risk was never that Russia would stop the sale of it. The problem is that when you are dependent on a country for any critical industry, and energy security is one of the most critical things for a nation, then you are in some ways beholden to that country. In the Russian case the conflict came when it was time to try to stop the invasion of Ukraine, Russia dangled the gas supply over Europe's head in an attempt to stop EU nations from taking a strong position against them. When a nation is overly dependent on another, the threat of coercion is always a possibility. Back to China, the question isn't if China decided to stop selling solar panels, which they most definitely could in a geopolitical crisis, but could Europe continue to buy them if, for example, China invaded Taiwan.
We already saw this play out during the Corona crisis with China hoarding medical supplies that were almost exclusively produced in their country. No slight against China either, since it's only rational that they would slow exports as their own consumption skyrocketed but a lot of countries learned their lesson that overreliance on any one country, particularly potential adversaries, is a security risk. Energy sector, medical, automotive, information technology, etc. all of those are considered critical national industries that require protection. The West got high on cheap Chinese production and let it get away from them, now it seems like the lesson is learned and being corrected.
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Comment on Why the pandemic probably started in a lab, in five key points (gifted link) in ~science
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentTo be more specific than nothis's answer below: The Wuhan laboratory is not rated to conduct the type of research that would have created COVID. It would be invaluable to know the origin in a lab...More than anything, though, I cannot think of a single reason why it would actually matter if the hypothesis is true or not. Since we do not know the exact failures that would have caused the leak to begin with, there is no problem to fix.
To be more specific than nothis's answer below: The Wuhan laboratory is not rated to conduct the type of research that would have created COVID. It would be invaluable to know the origin in a lab leak scenario when it would implicate China in lax research procedures and ultimately hold the government, as funder and regulator of the lab, responsible. This would ultimately cement the perception of China as a sort of "Wild West" where regulations are only an after thought, see: genetically engineered babies, rampant patent infringement, baby formula adulteration and counterfeiting, etc.
Having said all that, I'd like to go on the record as supporting Zoonosis as the origin of the virus but questioning and investigating a potential lab leak was ultimately the correct course of action
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Comment on Apple Music's 100 best albums list in ~music
TreeFiddyFiddy LinkThis is great, please keep going. I'm rediscovering a lot of albums I haven't heard in years and love reading your mini reviews of them allThis is great, please keep going. I'm rediscovering a lot of albums I haven't heard in years and love reading your mini reviews of them all
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Comment on California junk fee ban could upend restaurant industry in ~food
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentOur "mandatory" tipping culture (you misplaced your quotes) is indeed strange and something I'd like to see go away but to be fair is not entirely American in nature but I don't know where you...I don't live in America and simply that random fees(as well as that mandatory "tips") are a thing is completely bizarre to me
Our "mandatory" tipping culture (you misplaced your quotes) is indeed strange and something I'd like to see go away but to be fair is not entirely American in nature but I don't know where you live but "random" fees are very common in many parts of Europe and Asia, and maybe other places as well, where service fees are routinely added to restaurant and bar tabs in order to pay servers better.
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Comment on California junk fee ban could upend restaurant industry in ~food
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentI'm going to say yes and no to this, I think the ideal is to display the total price but also have the price without taxes also someway labeled. Consumers, most of whom are frankly not savvy...Taxes should also be included in the advertised price, as they are in other countries
I'm going to say yes and no to this, I think the ideal is to display the total price but also have the price without taxes also someway labeled. Consumers, most of whom are frankly not savvy enough to process the information in their head, deserve to know both how much the provider/restaurant/retailer are charging for a product as well as how much the government is adding to that price in taxes. Transparency on both sides would lead to better information for both consumers and citizens, neither vendors or the government deserve to hide their "prices" and either system is just advocating for one or the other.
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Comment on Canada bet big on immigration. Now it’s hitting the brakes. in ~misc
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentI think this particular line of thinking is highly problematic and just blatant anti-American prejudice. You can easily replace America in your sentence with the UK, Germany, Sweden, Hungary,...having American style negative reactions to immigration
I think this particular line of thinking is highly problematic and just blatant anti-American prejudice. You can easily replace America in your sentence with the UK, Germany, Sweden, Hungary, France, Korea, or Japan and come away with a more compelling argument. America hosts the largest percentage of foreign born residents in the whole world and 70% of Americans think immigration is good for the country. In fact, it's only on the topic of illegal immigration that Americans are so against but that's easy for a Canadian to overlook as the country doesn't share an external border with a country that is frankly a massive source of illegal immigration (just to note for the record: I welcome most illegal immigrants, as a former Californian I see the net good they bring to the country).
I only bring this up because I believe Tildes can be a better platform than the rest of the internet and knee-jerk judgements should be avoided here - even the unfounded hurr-durr America is the worst country in history trend that's so cool these days. It's exhausting
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Comment on Russia's meat grinder soldiers - 50,000 confirmed dead in ~news
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentIt's also because of battlefield and trauma medical advances. We saw unbelievable low death rates in the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars but unprecedentedly high ratio of injured and disabled soldiers....It's also because of battlefield and trauma medical advances. We saw unbelievable low death rates in the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars but unprecedentedly high ratio of injured and disabled soldiers. We got really good at saving lives but people were still being hit and disfigured by weapons.
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Comment on Spotify lowers artist royalties despite subscription price hike in ~music
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentI'm not defending Spotify at all but the way it was explained to me is that Spotify is a net good for smaller artists. Because of Spotify and music streaming in general, smaller bands now get way...I'm not defending Spotify at all but the way it was explained to me is that Spotify is a net good for smaller artists. Because of Spotify and music streaming in general, smaller bands now get way more exposure than they would have in the past. Even though there is less money to go around, in general, smaller bands these days are more capable of making music be their actual job than ever before. I'm sure they're making the bulk of their money from touring but the exposure they get via the algorithm gives them a reach that they never could have enjoyed in the past.
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Comment on Ukrainians contemplate the once unthinkable: Losing the war with Russia in ~misc
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentTo be completely fair, if I'm not mistaken, you were once on here questioning whether to keep your American citizenship - a country you never lived in and felt you had absolutely no connection to....- Exemplary
I'll throw in an emotional component, which I'll allow myself to make as both a citizen of the US and Europe
To be completely fair, if I'm not mistaken, you were once on here questioning whether to keep your American citizenship - a country you never lived in and felt you had absolutely no connection to. It's an interesting position for one to argue from an EU perspective but as the citizen of a country which they have all but formally completely disavowed.
constant meddling of the US in our affairs
letting us being taken hostage by other countriesAs an American who grew up in the States and has now lived in Europe for many years, I find this particular form of European doublethink especially irksome. Europeans tend to portray themselves of victims of US. I've encountered the narrative more than once about American culture "infecting" or "invading" European lands as if it was something inflicted upon them by a malevolent US and not because the citizens of those countries were freely choosing that culture - even when at a detriment to their own native one.
Similarly Europe is often portrayed as a victim of American meddling and, as put above, a "hostage" to US interests. It is certainly true that the US meddles in European affairs but dishonest to portray the EU as a hostage when the truth is that this is a policy expressly desired by Europe. European nations have enjoyed luxurious social welfare programs largely because of their reliance on the US for defense and geopolitical leadership. The EU talks a big game about wanting to stand on their own two feet but meanwhile is expanding the presence of the American military, especially in the North and East.
I am myself personally a non-interventionist and believe the US would be better off without meddling in world affairs but after many years of reflection on the subject and first hand experience living on four continents, I have begrudgingly come to admit that the world would suffer for the US to return to non-interventionism. Modern Europe would be unrecognizable without US support, again their lavish public spending and routine economic underperformance would be unsustainable if they had to support a military capable of defending the continent. Then there is the fact that in spite of America's "instigating wars all around the world," to borrow those words, Pax Americana is the most peaceful time in the entire recorded history of the world. Don't mistake me for a nationalist trying to glorify a country that I haven't lived in for over a decade and feel a more tenuous connection to by the day, I am a realist who understands that in the face of an entirely apathetic Europe a decision to align with a global military power has to be made and when choosing among the US, Russia, or China the US begins to not look so malevolent at all.
And, without digressing to far or too long from the extremely complicated relationship between the US and Europe, we should not forget that Europe too continues to practice colonialism to this very day - particularly in Africa, the Middle East, and, to a lesser extent, South America but because they can hide in the US' shadow gets to escape the critical focus that they also deserve.
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Comment on In Berlin, I experience icks I never thought possible in ~travel
TreeFiddyFiddy Link ParentWhat I find interesting and actually funny, in the literal sense, at times is how Germans view Americans as boorish for our tendency to make jokes about WW2/Nazis/Hitler. Here that is obviously...What I find interesting and actually funny, in the literal sense, at times is how Germans view Americans as boorish for our tendency to make jokes about WW2/Nazis/Hitler. Here that is obviously not socially acceptable outside of close friend groups but they assume we should just know better and have a little more tact than to do it, and I admit they do have a point, but on the flip side they go around saying the N-word with no consideration to the weight it carries for people from the US despite how glaringly obvious from American media (outside of hip-hop/rap culture) how negative that word is.
It's the classic tale of two cultures misunderstanding each other and a golden opportunity for both of us to learn a little more tact and grace. Hearing my European friends casually drop N-bombs would make me physically jump at first but now I find it amusing in a they-don't-know-better type of way.
What's sad about this line is that it is exactly the same line of thinking that homophobic people have that supports their anti-gay views but you don't seem to see any problem with it. What the world needs more of is more acceptance of people being different than them and having different beliefs. Seeing a cross or an annoying proselytizer on the street? Why is it objectionable? Seeing someone shouting that gay people are going to hell? Ok, reasonable people can agree that hate has no place in public. There are many fine religious people who find a way to worship without spreading hate or having hateful attitudes towards gay people.
What everyone seems to miss is that we do indeed live in a society and in the US, society says affection is okay but public display of sex is not. That is problematic and American puritanism should be addressed but no other country on earth has a Folsom Street Fair in every city so I don't know why you'd expect anywhere else to be the exception. In fact, an event like Folsom only takes place in two cities that I know of - an extremely minority event - and in two cities that are well known for being extremely socially liberal. I've seen the things that go on at Folsom and I don't know how you could ever argue that those things are palatable to "normal, respectable, red blooded" Americans. I'm not going to kink shame, I respect people who live outside the norm and I do my fair share as well but I'm not going to pretend that putting that on display to our fellow members of society is not going to turn them off to the whole idea of acceptance in the first place.
Boundaries exist and we change those boundaries over time by getting society to relate and slowly push what is acceptable further out, not by forcing entirely exotic ideas down people's throats. Mass gay demonstrations were super effective for winning desperately needed political concessions and legal protections but didn't move the social barometer much, being gay was still seen as shameful or weird. Getting straight people to relate to gay people and to see that it was all about love is what finally changed the social fabric, and pretty much overnight at that, it's the slow and relatable approach that changes societies without outright destroying them