First comment on the site by the way, fitting for it to be about loneliness ;). I agree completely with everything you have already said. I'm going to however narrow the discussion down to the...
First comment on the site by the way, fitting for it to be about loneliness ;).
I agree completely with everything you have already said. I'm going to however narrow the discussion down to the loneliness experienced by men in the west, as I don't want to generalise too much.
While I have suffered from loneliness, I've never really been without friends. This is where the problem, I think, lies. Men especially have a problem with genuine displays of emotion or affection in platonic relationships. While you might have a large networks of friends, genuine relationships where you can be yourself without worries might be non-existant. The reason for this, at least in my case, seems to come from how men are conditioned to behave from childhood.
Now, I'm not going delve into how western masculinity was created, as I have no formal education on the matter. However, I do know what it entails today and how it affects our well-being. The ideal man is thought to be powerful, dependable, stable and so on. Any kind of vulnerability or weakness is frowned upon, so it leaves men with few options when struggling with pretty much anything. This leaves us with the question - how can there be any meaningful kind of relationship when you can't show your true emotion. Breaking this cycle of isolation can demand a lot of strength and courage, more than we can assume every one has, especially when already struggling. I remember reading about a study that found out that boys and girls cry around the same amount until they become nine, and after that boys become the emotional shut-ins we know and love.
I don't have any perfect advise to people having problems with these things. Seeking out new people in the real world (physical connection is important even in platonic relationships, hugging and other displays of physical affection have been shown to decrease stress and anxiety), and going to therapy would be my best guesses to help with whatever issues one might be having.
Sorry if the text is incoherent, I'm writing this on the phone.
First comment on the site by the way, fitting for it to be about loneliness ;).
I agree completely with everything you have already said. I'm going to however narrow the discussion down to the loneliness experienced by men in the west, as I don't want to generalise too much.
While I have suffered from loneliness, I've never really been without friends. This is where the problem, I think, lies. Men especially have a problem with genuine displays of emotion or affection in platonic relationships. While you might have a large networks of friends, genuine relationships where you can be yourself without worries might be non-existant. The reason for this, at least in my case, seems to come from how men are conditioned to behave from childhood.
Now, I'm not going delve into how western masculinity was created, as I have no formal education on the matter. However, I do know what it entails today and how it affects our well-being. The ideal man is thought to be powerful, dependable, stable and so on. Any kind of vulnerability or weakness is frowned upon, so it leaves men with few options when struggling with pretty much anything. This leaves us with the question - how can there be any meaningful kind of relationship when you can't show your true emotion. Breaking this cycle of isolation can demand a lot of strength and courage, more than we can assume every one has, especially when already struggling. I remember reading about a study that found out that boys and girls cry around the same amount until they become nine, and after that boys become the emotional shut-ins we know and love.
I don't have any perfect advise to people having problems with these things. Seeking out new people in the real world (physical connection is important even in platonic relationships, hugging and other displays of physical affection have been shown to decrease stress and anxiety), and going to therapy would be my best guesses to help with whatever issues one might be having.
Sorry if the text is incoherent, I'm writing this on the phone.