cantpee's recent activity

  1. Comment on Recommended length of paternity leave? in ~life

    cantpee
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    I'm a new dad - the kid is coming up on 3 months. It depends a lot on your family and what the needs are. Everyone's situation, partner, baby, etc., is different and we have to find out what works...

    I'm a new dad - the kid is coming up on 3 months.

    It depends a lot on your family and what the needs are. Everyone's situation, partner, baby, etc., is different and we have to find out what works for us. For me, I really wanted to support my wife through the process, first and foremost. Somewhere along the line, the kid became pretty endearing, too. I play a not-insignificant role in a small-ish company and have always tried to give 110% in all my work responsibilities. I took a month off at full pay and tried to do a 50/50 WFH thing for a month. It doesn't work well. The needs don't stop just because I now have work again, lol. My wife gets 3mo. at half pay. We don't have any other help; it's just us.

    In retrospect and with the clarity of hindsight, if it's possible financially, I would take the FMLA maximum with no pay. I would happily delay major purchases (car, house, etc.) and spend down my savings to do that. I'm an older first-time parent, do maybe it is financially easier for me to do that. But it's fucking hard. The baby needs so much attention 100% of the time. Everything is new and urgent and scary. Breastfeeding can be a monumental challenge. My wife had a c-section and couldn't do a lot of basic things. It was a full-time job just to make sure everyone was fed.

    But again, depends on so many factors. You'll find what's right for you. Flexibility and adaptability will become very important. Best wishes with the delivery - your life will never be the same. Don't worry, it's pretty awesome.

  2. Comment on Help me build my “woke” Fourth of July playlist in ~music

    cantpee
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    The Keepers - Santigold ... almost any rap song from the 90s, 00s. Untitled - Nas

    The Keepers - Santigold

    ... almost any rap song from the 90s, 00s.

    Untitled - Nas