cinnamontrout's recent activity
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Comment on How important is sexual chemistry/ability/quality to you when you date/marry/whatever? in ~life
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Comment on How important is sexual chemistry/ability/quality to you when you date/marry/whatever? in ~life
cinnamontrout (edited )LinkBeing a good dancer is in no way connected to being a good sexual partner. Being a good lead/follow social dance partner perhaps slightly more so, but in my experience it makes no difference. As...Being a good dancer is in no way connected to being a good sexual partner. Being a good lead/follow social dance partner perhaps slightly more so, but in my experience it makes no difference. As someone whose dating pool was mostly dancers for a while, I think I have a good sample size to make this conclusion! :)
Lots of other great points above that the key is really asking what your partner wants. Not everyone is going to be compatible, and I know that sometimes even two people who are great at communicating with each other can't come to a point where they are both satisfied. That's just life, and sometimes you just have to move on.
That being said, I find that the non-sexual parts of a relationship are far more important to get right for a long-term marriage. The sexual parts can be worked on; they evolve over time, as we get older, and often much faster than you might imagine. Good luck and be patient - you just need to meet more people, one way or another.
EDIT: fixed some grammar/typos.
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Comment on Alternatives to a straw hat in ~life.style
cinnamontrout (edited )LinkI really like this hat. https://topex-hat.com/collections/sun-hats/products/waterproof-neck-flap-hat-xxl-sun-protection-fishing-hiking My main issue is I have a really large head, so most hats do...I really like this hat.
My main issue is I have a really large head, so most hats do not fit me, even the ones that come in "XL" are often too small. TopEx Hats actually have XXL hats which fit my head perfectly.
The reason I like this particular hat is that it has seam across the middle of the brim in the front that allows you to fold it in half which makes it easier to put into a sling pack, flattened to take up less space. The fold is designed so it folds with the inside of the hat outward - this is really great design detail because it means it doesn't develop a permanent "pointy" part in front from staying folded in your bag.
It also has a cape which covers the back of your neck provided you are wearing a shirt with a collar; it's not long enough for a tank-top. They have a few other hats which have much longer capes that go much further down, but those do not have the folding brim, which to me is required 'cause the hat is way too big to stick in my bag otherwise. I have a lot of hats for my big head that are just too large to stuff in my bag so I end up carrying them around when I go indoors.
The material is lightweight and cool for being out in 90F+ weather, and is about as breathable as any fabric I've found for hats, but it is a synthetic material so it's not going to breathe like a nice cotton t-shirt, for example.
Last but not least, it has a removable neck strap so it won't fly away in the wind. The strap itself is actually pretty thin so you can bunch if up and stuff it inside if you don't feel like unclipping it from the hat.
I bought this hat on Amazon first. I liked it a lot and later when to their website directly to support them. What's odd is the name of the hat on Amazon does not in any way resemble the one on their website, but you can confirm it's the same because they re-use the same photos and the tags are the same when it arrives. It's a little less expensive if you buy from them directly and you buy more than 2 hats at the same time, because they have flat $5 shipping in the US.
I forgot - here's the Amazon page for this same hat:
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Comment on Question about routers and access points in ~comp
cinnamontrout (edited )LinkHave you tested the power supply on your XR300? If you've been otherwise happy with it before it started behaving badly, sometimes a dying power supply can cause issues. It's worth checking it...- Exemplary
Have you tested the power supply on your XR300? If you've been otherwise happy with it before it started behaving badly, sometimes a dying power supply can cause issues. It's worth checking it with a multi-meter first or if you can secure a new power supply inexpensively to swap it out.
Also, have you tried connecting a computer via one of the wired ports to make sure it's not wireless interference? You might have a new device in your area that is disturbing the wireless signal. Also, not sure if this is applicable, but I had a wireless access point suddenly do very poorly and I later found out one of the kids in the household decided to play with the antennas and broke it while attempting to use it as a spaceship during playtime. Mom tried to put it back and it mostly worked but later when I took it apart to examine it I noticed one of the antennas internal connectors was broken.
I only mention these possibilities because if it stopped working properly in the last few months these are the sort of issues that seem more likely. Most routers don't start failing especially if you've been at 300Mbps up/down and your upstream internet hasn't changed, unless something like the above has happened. I haven't checked, but your router might have gotten compromised in which case doing a factory reset and loading the most recent firmware might be a good thing to try also, if the software is not persistent.
But if all of the above is not happening, or you're just done with the Netgear XR300, using a separate router and wireless access device does work. It's what I do at home. I use have an OPNSense router from Protectli and I use Ruckus wireless access points (used, acquired on ebay) for my wireless network and it works wonderfully. It's more expensive, but I have a much more configurable router and the wireless access points can be scaled up to handle a ridiculous number of clients. I can also swap out the wireless access points and the router independently.
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Comment on I'm generally confused about dating women in ~life.men
cinnamontrout Link ParentEssentially, yes the platforms are built on a fantasy. I know a few people for whom dating apps are actually useful - they are all very attractive, way above-average looking people. And in their...Essentially, yes the platforms are built on a fantasy.
I know a few people for whom dating apps are actually useful - they are all very attractive, way above-average looking people. And in their normal life they are so far out of everyone's league they use the dating platform to hookup with the most attractive people in their area.
They are not looking for long term partners. It's just for hooking up - and you burn through partners quickly in real life, so the online platform casts a much wider net.
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Comment on I'm generally confused about dating women in ~life.men
cinnamontrout LinkI've had a lot of experience with this, both directly and indirectly (lots of women in my family). So here's a bunch of things that may help: Regarding the advice many have already offered about...- Exemplary
I've had a lot of experience with this, both directly and indirectly (lots of women in my family).
So here's a bunch of things that may help:
Regarding the advice many have already offered about trying to widen your social circle: The reason this works is because most women do not want to feel like they are being interviewed for the position of future wife. Neither do most men. Almost everyone I know wants the story of how they fell in love to be - he/she was a wonderful person who just came into my life and I just knew. The best way for that to happen is for this person to actually be a part of your life, that you see regularly and on occasion without any romantic overtones. When you are around people regularly, you pick up on many clues about their personality and you get to see the real person. They are not performing for you or trying too hard to impress you. People who encounter each other this way often have the most realistic impression of their personalities, good and bad. This is the main reason why people often fall in love with co-workers or classmates. The daily environment of seeing someone, working on shared projects together generates a lot of the natural elements that cause attraction and also foster mutual understanding of each other.
Regarding soliciting feedback from your past dates - basically, you won't get useful actionable information from them. You may even get incorrect information, for a variety of reasons. Many women have had bad experiences and do not want to encourage a past suitor further, so they often will say what they think will end the iteraction with the least drama. This often means if you do have some glaring fault, they will not risk angering you and telling you what it is out of fear.
As someone who has entered the dating pool a few times in his life over many decades 20s, late 30s, who has tried online dating all both times (yes, there were online dating websites in the 1990s!) I can tell you the tech changes but the way people are do not. It's always a ratio of about 1-20 on the online sites, and doing social circles things go from 1-6 to 6-1 depending on the circle. Social circles always win.
And the other thing to be aware of - social circles are not always what they seem on the surface. When I was younger, I joined a social circle where I was the only one in my 20s, and most the volunteers were over 50. I was not attracted to any of the women there who were much older than me - however, I did end up going on a few dates with their daughters/nieces and I would not have had that opportunity any other way. Their mothers "vetted" me, essentially. Their daughters were basically looking for guys in bars or online and not doing well with that approach.
Finally I will repeat some advice that others have also said here - stop trying so hard. It's counter-productive. For 2 reasons. First is that desperation is not attractive. This is why you can't get a squirrel to eat our of your hand if you run at it with nuts. Sit quietly, hold out your hand, and they are much more likely to approach. Second is that need to be the kind of guy a woman wants to hang out with. A woman does not want to hang out with a guy who is desperately looking for her. She wants a guy who is happy with life, and living it to the fullest before she came along. So you need to be that guy, and one way to do that is to find purpose with a lots of other people, not future dating partners. Find a cause you believe in, and do the cause.
My best suggestion is to look for "social dance" places that also teach lessons. Often these places specialize in one particular style, like Salsa, Tango, or Swing/West Coast classes and they also usually put on their own social dances every week or two so their own customers can get practice dancing.
Those are the best way to learn - you want a few hours of instruction, followed by an hour or so of practice. If you spend too much learning and not enough time practicing, you'll hit a wall and it won't be any fun.
Kind of like programming - it's good to read about the basics, but at some point for it to all click, you have to write a small program for it all to make sense. Take a few classes, go to a few dances, and repeat. The reason the places which offer classes and dances together are great is because the people going to the dances will often include many of the same beginners you meet in the classes, so you already know some people and it won't be as scary as it would entering a room with complete strangers.
Over time, you will notice it's basically the same regulars who go to the same dances and you will get informal instruction/hints from the regulars, and if you're in any way social, you can start to make friends.