kimkorsaeth's recent activity
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Comment on How do you feel about it/its pronouns? in ~lgbt
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Comment on What was it like choosing your own name? in ~lgbt
kimkorsaeth Link Parenthey thanks for commenting! I read your comment too and totally get going for a common name, Sofie is a great choice! The other names I have in mind are Lerke, since it's just the name of a bird...hey thanks for commenting! I read your comment too and totally get going for a common name, Sofie is a great choice!
The other names I have in mind are Lerke, since it's just the name of a bird even though it's recorded as a feminine name. And if for some reason that doesn't work either, I'll go with Møyfrid as a super fem alternative to drive the point home that I'm Not A Man. Spite is a strong motivator lol
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Comment on What was it like choosing your own name? in ~lgbt
kimkorsaeth LinkFor my current name, I had to thread a very tight line so as not to immediately out myself, so I needed a name that was masculine in my native language and feminine/ambiguous elsewhere. Kim was...For my current name, I had to thread a very tight line so as not to immediately out myself, so I needed a name that was masculine in my native language and feminine/ambiguous elsewhere. Kim was basically the only option, and also had the added bonus of starting with a K and being one syllable long, just like my old name.
My family was a little surprised, but my reasoning of "I want to choose my own identity" went over well enough without rousing too much suspicion. I'm sure they won't be too surprised when I come out to them later this year, but I needed to have control over that so I could come out on my own terms. Really my dad was more upset that I had planned to get rid of his surname and go by my mom's maiden name (already my middle name), so I basically ended up switching the places of the two names and he was content lmao
After I come out to my family, I'll change my name again to Dissonans (eng: Dissonance), to have something truly unique to go by. I'm already one of two people in the world with my combo of surnames - the other being my sister - so uniqueness is already part of it, but I want a name that is truly unique on its own. The reasoning was as follows:
- music term, as music is very important to me
- refers to my neurodivergence and difficulty interacting with non-autistic people
- refers to the deliberate "antisocial" stance of being super queer, weird, and unwilling to mask my autism
- unburdened by the expectations of gendered names; my name means me.
While the Norwegian law of personal names is somewhat strict, nothing in it says Dissonans would be explicitly not allowed. The worst case would be that it gets manually checked by a worker, whose decision can be appealed, and I've already thought of how I'd go about it. If I fail, I have a couple fallbacks that I know will work.
In changing my name even once already, I feel like I've kinda divorced my identity from having a name... getting my name legally changed to Dissonans would do a lot to make me feel connected to a moniker again, but I can just go by whatever regardless of my legal name anyway.
as someone who uses it/it's pronouns and know several others who use them, I can say that the dehumanizing aspect that others have mentioned is often intentional. My autism affects my gender identity and presentation a lot, and so it gets a seat at the table and full veto powers on pronouns. Using it/its pronouns signals that something is off, and you should think twice before treating me like any other person.
A large part of it is also control, in the sense of forcing people out of their comfort zones and controlling that dehumanization narrative. If you can't handle the low, low bar of calling me "it", you're gonna struggle with other parts of my gender identity or someone else's identity. To be an ally, you need to accept all queer people, not just the ones you find tolerable. If you find it uncomfortable then tough luck, unlearn some things.
The dehumanizing part of it/its pronouns is used frequently by bigots trying to invalidate (particularly) trans women's identities. By already feeling less human from autistic trauma and interests alike, I take that narrative and control it myself, deciding for myself what it means for me to be less human. It takes more than that to defeat bigotry, but it's fulfilling nonetheless.