lostappetite's recent activity

  1. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    How are you doing right now? I thought I was ready for it but now it’s the exact opposite. I feel like I have caved in, given up.

    How are you doing right now?

    life will be an up and down roller coaster.

    I thought I was ready for it but now it’s the exact opposite. I feel like I have caved in, given up.

  2. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    it’s actually like that, I have been lying around my house all day but the constant stream of thoughts flashing through my mind is just making me hate myself and I am unable to do anything. I...

    Then "drown" a bit. It's normal. Sleep all day, become a couch potato, cry. You're at your worst, you're "allowed" to drown because anyway you're unable to do anything else.

    it’s actually like that, I have been lying around my house all day but the constant stream of thoughts flashing through my mind is just making me hate myself and I am unable to do anything.

    ignored for too long, and dealt with the wrong way.

    I think my case has been the same, I ignored my “symptoms” as well.

    Everything crashed at once, and what defined me literally the day before didn't make sense anymore. I know how it feels like to lose your identity.

    This is so much relatable. One day I was shopping for a new wardrobe because I was moving away and the next day I had a panic attack and nothing made sense, I couldn’t identify myself as the same person. I felt so weak.

    1 vote

  3. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    Thanks a lot for sharing what you’re going through. I will be honest, it made me a tad bit comfortable but other than that, I just feel numb and non-reactive. Is that supposed to happen? I don’t...

    Thanks a lot for sharing what you’re going through. I will be honest, it made me a tad bit comfortable but other than that, I just feel numb and non-reactive. Is that supposed to happen? I don’t know :(

    I realise what point you’re trying to make but it’s like, it’s bouncing back. I am unable to truly absorb it.

    1 vote

  4. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    Thanks for being so empathetic. I guess you make a valid point. I never did but what I am feeling right now is that they are ahead in life and I am stuck. I don’t feel jealous, but maybe am just...

    Thanks for being so empathetic. I guess you make a valid point.

    Don’t look at your peers for inspiration.

    I never did but what I am feeling right now is that they are ahead in life and I am stuck. I don’t feel jealous, but maybe am just drawing comparisons(which I rarely did in the past)

    1 vote

  5. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    I did. I guess I was just ignoring them back then and I had nightmares for months back when a specific event happened in my life 3.5 years back.

    I did. I guess I was just ignoring them back then and I had nightmares for months back when a specific event happened in my life 3.5 years back.

    2 votes

  6. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    Thanks, I do want to just “do it” but am just feeling lifeless and empty, and in no way am trying to make any excuses or anything but yeah I feel weird and just drained.

    Thanks, I do want to just “do it” but am just feeling lifeless and empty, and in no way am trying to make any excuses or anything but yeah I feel weird and just drained.

    1 vote

  7. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    I have been accompanying my mum with her walks and honestly she’s the one who’s making sure I get some fresh outside air and I haven’t been able to listen to music, which earlier literally used to...

    I have been accompanying my mum with her walks and honestly she’s the one who’s making sure I get some fresh outside air and I haven’t been able to listen to music, which earlier literally used to be my fuel and energy pool.

    1 vote

  8. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    I too fear leaving the house, I am scared to go and pass through a crowd when I am going for a walk. It feels like shit. I feel like I am a 10 year old once again. I am feeling anxious throughout...

    I too fear leaving the house, I am scared to go and pass through a crowd when I am going for a walk. It feels like shit. I feel like I am a 10 year old once again.

    I am feeling anxious throughout the day and there will be instances in between when breathing is becoming such a huge task.

    You can do it. You are not broken. I believe in you.

    How am I supposed to receive this when I feel the exact opposite? :(

  9. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    :O I am really sorry If my post took you back in any sense to that time. I get what you’re saying. I have my parents, and I want to make them proud but that thought isn’t translating for me, I am...

    I felt my lowest when my wife left our 2 kids (4 and 6) and myself suddenly 12 years ago. I realize now that I was depressed and felt similar to your post.

    :O I am really sorry If my post took you back in any sense to that time.

    In my instance I had 2 kids to take care of so I had some built-in motivation already.

    I get what you’re saying. I have my parents, and I want to make them proud but that thought isn’t translating for me, I am just feeling numb, I don’t know if I am supposed to be numb when I know the former and how do I take things under control.

  10. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    Link Parent
    I am trying. I have been communicating with my family and So far I have only consulted with a psychiatrist and had my diagnosis done after a history taking session with a psychologist/therapist....

    Be honest with your medical professionals, be honest with your friends and family and employer (if necessary / safe to do so, of course), and most importantly, be honest with yourself.

    I am trying. I have been communicating with my family and So far I have only consulted with a psychiatrist and had my diagnosis done after a history taking session with a psychologist/therapist.

    What I am not able to do is digest the reality and being honest with myself. I am unable to get the force in me to get better, I am not getting a response from my “inner self”.

    Try to mull the feeling over and figure it out, why do you feel this way?

    I have been trying and what seems logical to me is it the feeling has been there for a while, only suppressed. And the nightmare was just a trigger. I don’t know if that makes sense? Counterfactual to this thought? (For instance, if you're dealing with imposter syndrome, what do you know that's incorrect about that, what do you know about what you're worried you're wrong about). Things like that.

    I can only draw up instances from a few years and I feel like I am no longer the same person :(

    1 vote

  11. Comment on I had a severe panic attack two days ago in ~health.mental

    lostappetite
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    Thanks for writing to me. I don’t know. Whenever I compare my self to my past self, I feel worthless. I used to be high-functioning and able to meet the deadlines that I made for myself. And,...

    Thanks for writing to me.

    I don’t know. Whenever I compare my self to my past self, I feel worthless. I used to be high-functioning and able to meet the deadlines that I made for myself. And, right now I feel the exact and honestly it has been like this for sometime, I guess I was just ignoring it all along.

    Now, I can’t even muster the strength to tell myself anything positive. I just feel as if I am drowning in abyss.

    4 votes

  12. I had a severe panic attack two days ago

    ~health.mental Text 245 words
    I am 20 and I was going to move to a different country to pursuit my bachelors. I was going to make my parents proud! But, 2 days ago, I had a severe panic attack in the middle of a night and a...

    I am 20 and I was going to move to a different country to pursuit my bachelors. I was going to make my parents proud! But, 2 days ago, I had a severe panic attack in the middle of a night and a terrible nightmare which preceded the attack. I started seeing weird things when I closed my eyes and I couldn’t manage a day without crying and continuously kept having tremors so I sought professional help.

    Now, I have been diagnosed with severe depression and moderate anxiety and I have deferred my plans to pursuit my higher education.

I was once ahead of my peers and enthusiastic about life but now I just feel stuck in life, I feel worthless, undeserving and a piece of shit. I haven’t accomplished anything in the past 4 years which could work as a groundwork for my motivation and I only seem to fall deeper into despair. 

I feel as if I won’t be able to accomplish my goals or achieve anything in my life.

    I haven't thought of harming myself but I think the fear of not being able to achieve anything might just make me suicidal.

    I have found the tildes community to be observant and kind, I was a lurker before and asked someone for an invite just to post this here. I don't know if I am looking for advice or comfort or anything else but I sure wanted to put this out here.

    59 votes