22 votes

Topic deleted by author

13 comments

  1. [5]
    39hp
    (edited )
    Link
    One. Two. Three. Clenched hands beat down his chest. Breathe. Second hand air fills his lungs. One. Two. Three. Breathe. In the darkness behind his eyes, swimming, shimmering light parts the...

    One. Two. Three.

    Clenched hands beat down his chest.

    Breathe.

    Second hand air fills his lungs.

    One. Two. Three. Breathe.

    In the darkness behind his eyes, swimming, shimmering light parts the shadows.

    One. Two. Three. Breathe.

    Shrieking words crash upon his ears like hammers on a sunken drum. "C- o-. W- u-."

    One. Two. Three. Breathe.

    "Wake up!"

    He fights.

    One. Two. "Come on!" Three. Breathe. "Wake up!"

    He fights. Hands beat. Lungs fill. Words crash. He rattles. She stops.

    He breathes pain. His voice fails. His eyes scream, 'No!'

    She presses her thumbs against his throat. She smiles. "Again..."

    7 votes
    1. [4]
      PopeRigby
      Link Parent
      I'm so confused. Awesome though

      I'm so confused. Awesome though

      1. [3]
        39hp
        Link Parent
        Strangling someone to death just to bring them back, over and over again. The victim just wants to die. The sadist won't let them.

        Strangling someone to death just to bring them back, over and over again. The victim just wants to die. The sadist won't let them.

        1 vote
        1. [2]
          frickindeal
          Link Parent
          Nicely written. I love staccato writing like that, and imagery well-described, "like hammers on a sunken drum." I'm not sure it follows the prompt, but I like it anyway.

          Nicely written. I love staccato writing like that, and imagery well-described, "like hammers on a sunken drum."
          I'm not sure it follows the prompt, but I like it anyway.

          1 vote
          1. 39hp
            Link Parent
            Hoof, now that you mention it. I realize I cut out the lines that more clearly tied to the prompt to keep it to 100 words.

            I'm not sure it follows the prompt

            Hoof, now that you mention it. I realize I cut out the lines that more clearly tied to the prompt to keep it to 100 words.

  2. tumbzilla
    Link
    This was fun! This is the first writing challenge I've participated in. Feedback welcome :) The man was old, broken, and beaten. His jacket hung loose on his shoulders, the sleeves torn and...

    This was fun! This is the first writing challenge I've participated in. Feedback welcome :)

    The man was old, broken, and beaten. His jacket hung loose on his shoulders, the sleeves torn and fraying at the wrists. He walked with an odd hobble, as if he was used to walking with a cane, but it had been lost, or broken. His head hung low, a look of weary resignation on his face. The strong current of people on the sidewalk flowed around him, as if he were a broken log stuck in a raging river. I should have asked him "Are you alright?" Or "Can I help you?"... And yet I said nothing - noone did.

    6 votes
  3. [2]
    zoec
    Link
    We sit on the edge of the narrow bed in my cold studio. Or what had been mine. I'm not sure. We got through the Loop. Same place, but are we the same people? Antonia's muffled sobbing abated. I...

    We sit on the edge of the narrow bed in my cold studio. Or what had been mine. I'm not sure.

    We got through the Loop. Same place, but are we the same people?

    Antonia's muffled sobbing abated. I clench the old bedsheet, feeling its familiar texture.

    "This is the start." Tonia, ever the silence breaker.

    "Right. That was almost three years ago. Or now."

    "And you said yes. That was all I cared about."

    I knew then, and I still know: what could happen, would. But I didn't know what it would cost.


    The Loop disintegrated. The pain didn't.

    6 votes
  4. whispersilk
    Link
    "I called him stupid once," I told the ceiling. "Who?" the ceiling asked back. "This kid I teach.” Taught. “Eddy. I've talked about him before." A rustle of paper. I looked across the room to see...

    "I called him stupid once," I told the ceiling.

    "Who?" the ceiling asked back.

    "This kid I teach.” Taught. “Eddy. I've talked about him before."

    A rustle of paper. I looked across the room to see my therapist flipping through notes. "Ah. Yes." I looked back at the ceiling.

    "Turns out he was abused, yeah? I had no idea. Then..." I waved an arm at the air.

    "Last Tuesday. I heard."

    "I might’ve been right that he was stupid, but he– he was a good kid.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “Should've told him he was a good kid."

    5 votes
  5. Crespyl
    Link
    I said a whole lot of things that day. Some of them were very clever, and some, I thought, were sad. Mostly they were lies. The Listeners did what they always do, and listened, closely. They...

    I said a whole lot of things that day.

    Some of them were very clever, and some, I thought, were sad.

    Mostly they were lies.

    The Listeners did what they always do, and listened, closely.

    They didn't say anything.

    They just sat there, in the same damp air as always, damp air filled with mildew and dead stars. More lies.

    At the end of it, hours later, when I had said all the things I could think to say, I left. They stayed, like always.

    I didn't know they'd wanted the truth. Maybe they would have decided to come home.

    5 votes
  6. [3]
    Mallard
    (edited )
    Link
    "So, again, to clarify, you only have eight words". Jonathan stood, arched over a keyboard with his finger hovering over the ENTER key, his neck straining to see the client. "Okay, Sir, I'm going...

    "So, again, to clarify, you only have eight words".

    Jonathan stood, arched over a keyboard with his finger hovering over the ENTER key, his neck straining to see the client.

    "Okay, Sir, I'm going to start."

    'Buy now to ensure your goodbyes' was the advertising slogan. Rich men would pay millions of credits to have their consciousness maintained for one final message.

    Jonathan knew how this would turn out. He'd seen it many times.

    The client spoke, quivering, and the transcription appeared on the screen.

    I don't know what to say. I'm not

    ready.

    A beep. A message appeared: TRANSFERED.

    2 votes
    1. [3]
      Comment deleted by author
      Link Parent
      1. [2]
        Mallard
        Link Parent
        'ready' was the ninth word. I'll add some punctuation to try and make it clearer! (E: Hmm... I'm unsure on that one.)

        "So, again, to clarify, you only have eight words".

        'ready' was the ninth word.

        I'll add some punctuation to try and make it clearer! (E: Hmm... I'm unsure on that one.)

        1. [2]
          Comment deleted by author
          Link Parent
          1. Mallard
            (edited )
            Link Parent
            I was. The terminal only accepted the first eight words and I liked the "ready." hanging there. Apologies for the confusion. E: You thought I wanted the > symbol there to denote a computer...

            I was. The terminal only accepted the first eight words and I liked the "ready." hanging there. Apologies for the confusion.

            E: You thought I wanted the > symbol there to denote a computer terminal. I getcha now! I wanted the formatting to denote the terminal.

            1 vote