Yes, I’m totally serious.

If you find a recipe online that includes beans in the ingredients list, chances are that it calls for canned beans. And I honestly don’t know why. Canned beans are terrible.

To be specific I am not talking about flavored beans. Beans in tomato sauce or a sugary sauce for baked or barbecue beans tend to be OK. It’s the unflavored ones that bother me.

I could only wish that a lack of flavor was the only problem with canned beans, but in addition to that they also tend to have a sharp metallic taste. I don’t even know how that can happen. Canned tomatoes don’t taste that bad. Are they just not cleaning the cans before they put the beans in them?

We are living in an age where it’s surprisingly common for people to have access to pressure cookers which can cook dry beans en masse within an hour’s time. And the result will be properly nutty, buttery, and creamy like they are supposed to taste.

I get that canned beans are always going to be more convenient, but they taste so much worse that I honestly don’t think the resulting dish should be called the same thing.

Am I the only one who feels this way?