6 votes

Topic deleted by author

4 comments

  1. [3]
    demifiend
    Link
    I make at least twice as much as my wife, and it feels like a burden. Because I make more, I pay the bills while she pays for fun stuff. The stressful part is that she can quit her job any time...

    I make at least twice as much as my wife, and it feels like a burden. Because I make more, I pay the bills while she pays for fun stuff. The stressful part is that she can quit her job any time she likes. We wouldn't be able to go out and do things as often, but we'd manage.

    But I can't afford to be unemployed for more than a couple of months. Sure, I have savings, but the health insurance comes from my job. Her job has worse coverage with higher deductibles.

    I'm the man. I'm the provider. So I have to be careful, and put up with bullshit I wouldn't ordinarily tolerate so I can keep my job and not become a fucking burden.

    3 votes
    1. [2]
      burkaman
      Link Parent
      You don't have to live right at the limit of your means, right? If you were single, I'm guessing you'd choose an apartment that let you save a little and gave you a cushion if you needed to change...

      You don't have to live right at the limit of your means, right? If you were single, I'm guessing you'd choose an apartment that let you save a little and gave you a cushion if you needed to change jobs. I don't see why it has to be different when you're married, does you wife know you feel this cornered?

      5 votes
      1. demifiend
        (edited )
        Link Parent
        I have six months worth of cushion. That's not the issue. The issue is that if she wanted, my wife could spend the rest her life playing housewife. Her gender and my salary make that possible for...

        I have six months worth of cushion. That's not the issue. The issue is that if she wanted, my wife could spend the rest her life playing housewife. Her gender and my salary make that possible for her.

        I don't have that option. Instead, I work full time and do most of the housework.

        I don't complain because I basically asked for this. Nobody held a gun to my head and forced me to get married. So if I'm not happy that's my own damn fault.

        3 votes