Lobachevsky's recent activity
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Comment on The big little penis panic in ~life.men
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Comment on The big little penis panic in ~life.men
Lobachevsky Link ParentDoes it bother you that even in this situation you are putting the responsibility on the man to do something about it? Perhaps even blaming me for dating these terrible asshole women (by the way,...Does it bother you that even in this situation you are putting the responsibility on the man to do something about it? Perhaps even blaming me for dating these terrible asshole women (by the way, they absolutely weren't uniquely terrible, that's quite an assumption) that absolutely do not represent the 85-90% of the good women?
If you're worried that will leave you date-less, consider that you're likely closing the door on a lot of potential relationships by dating women who other women regard as assholes.
Why would you even say such a thing? How did you come to such a conclusion?
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Comment on US FBI says Google engineer used internal search data to win $1.2M on Polymarket in ~tech
Lobachevsky Link ParentIs that actually illegal? My guess is that sports organizations ban it, but they can set whatever rules they feel like. I certainly don't care whether anyone does it or not. And re: gambling. It's...Explain to me how it should be illegal for a pro sports player to bet millions against his team and then throw the game
Is that actually illegal? My guess is that sports organizations ban it, but they can set whatever rules they feel like. I certainly don't care whether anyone does it or not.
And re: gambling. It's not gambling because you might have some information which influences the odds and bet accordingly. If you don't have that information - then don't bet? I fail to see how this is "insiders fleecing poor regular folk". The regular folk decided to put that money there. There are many ways to lose your savings and we can't really legislate all of them away. And plenty of them are legal.
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Comment on The big little penis panic in ~life.men
Lobachevsky Link ParentSorry, but this is absurd. The first time I've felt insanely objectified (and all manner of gross) is when I've visited a gay club with a "get naked to avoid paying the entry fee" deal. I suppose...The solution to this is to renormalize men being naked together.
Sorry, but this is absurd. The first time I've felt insanely objectified (and all manner of gross) is when I've visited a gay club with a "get naked to avoid paying the entry fee" deal. I suppose I was mighty naive, but since I've already been a participant of naturist community for a while I didn't see a big deal. Even at the entrance there were plenty of comments regarding my endowment and it only got worse from there (I suppose that's when I truly experienced feeling gross from supposed compliments). Do we agree that these are definitely men used to seeing other men naked?
Every girlfriend I've had commented on it, and their exes in comparison, basically every hookup. I've seen my best buddy (who "isn't so lucky", but doesn't give a hoot himself) get mistreated by women over it, with some attempt to hide the reaction sure, but it's there. But you don't need to take my word for it, because "small dick energy" or "compensating" are socially acceptable insults whereas even something like "bitch" isn't. See also making fun of men's height. I don't know why every single time any such topic is discussed, womens' role in it is just completely ignored. I don't think porn and male nudity comfort level are the main issue, I think womens' reactions are and at this point frankly I really want women to take responsibility for something happening in western society.
Additionally, this topic (among other things) really made me sure that progressives really do not care about cis males, like at all, and it's free game to be sexist against them. I see this in queer/LGBT communities all the time, but nobody can ever speak up about it.
Sorry for kind of stealing the conversation and ranting about my own personal stuff, I might be a bit too emotional about this.
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Comment on Valve raises Steam Deck OLED prices by up to $300 in ~games
Lobachevsky Link ParentIf there were like 2 radish suppliers in the whole world, then of course this would be possible. Sure, for example when building new locations. What do you think they should do, have empty...buy every radish for the next several years
If there were like 2 radish suppliers in the whole world, then of course this would be possible.
before having any way to store the radishes
Sure, for example when building new locations. What do you think they should do, have empty warehouses for months to come?
in the hopes that they'll generate enough demand for the radishes
Not that they generate enough demand, that there will be enough demand. Of course. Not sure why you would think this is impossible, there was an infamous tulip market crash in the 17th century for example https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulip_mania
they'll all be sold for profits that aren't actually mathematically possible
First time I hear of this being "mathematically impossible". If there wasn't enough demand, we wouldn't be talking about it because steam deck wouldn't be rising in prices. Clearly the demand is there and so is the competition for it. Just because you think they're making a bad investment doesn't make this order nonsensical. From the perspective of making a good investment it makes perfect sense.
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Comment on Valve raises Steam Deck OLED prices by up to $300 in ~games
Lobachevsky Link ParentI don't know why this keeps getting repeated. Isn't this how any serious supply chain works? Stuff is ordered before it's actually produced? Or do grocery stores wait until farmers finish growing...Remember kids, the reason RAM/electronics are so much more expensive is because not-yet-manufactured memory was bought with money that doesn't really exist to be put into GPUs that haven't been made to be installed in data centers that haven't been built that are powered by infrastructure that will never paid for by the companies that use it to satisfy a demand that isn't there in order to generate profits that are mathematically impossible.
I don't know why this keeps getting repeated. Isn't this how any serious supply chain works? Stuff is ordered before it's actually produced? Or do grocery stores wait until farmers finish growing their crops before, like, auctioning their radishes away before they rot? What should have happened, they buy the land, put a warehouse-ish building there, then hope that the parts they need to finish are available?
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Comment on Almost half of EU’s busiest flight routes are ‘hard or impossible’ to book on trains in ~transport
Lobachevsky Link ParentWhat, why? To have a train you need to have the entire route covered in tracks which need to be maintained. To fly you just need 2 airports and a plane.A train should never cost more money than something that literally flies through the air.
What, why? To have a train you need to have the entire route covered in tracks which need to be maintained. To fly you just need 2 airports and a plane.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lobachevsky Link ParentOf course, because of prior experiences. That's why people like Clavicular (and to some degree myself) choose to embark on the "looksmaxxing" (which is just a stupid word for figuring out how to...Because you can be incredibly attractive and full of self-doubt and have a poor self image.
Of course, because of prior experiences. That's why people like Clavicular (and to some degree myself) choose to embark on the "looksmaxxing" (which is just a stupid word for figuring out how to present oneself better) journey in the first place. We started out as unattractive and changed it overtime and most importantly observed the results. Of course it is very hard to undo the damage built up during the entire adolescence and beyond.
Regarding the types of spaces, am actually speaking mostly about interactions with straight men and straight/bi women, particular in nerdy hobby spaces (LARPing and TTRPG spaces in particular) and I'm using it as an example against a broader societal claim in a thread about that phenomenon, not to an individual person's experience in a thread about their personal struggle. Context matters.
Well it is also my personal struggle. LARPing and TTRPG are insanely niche spaces. Not sure what conclusions to draw from any of this. Good for you and the good people of LARPing and TTRPG spaces.
I have a degree in counseling. Fear of safety is not irrational, fear of rejection is 100% developed by attractive people. It's a human fear, not an "ugly fear." Because you can be incredibly attractive and full of self-doubt and have a poor self image. I personally believe Clavicular probably fits into that camp.
Why is it not irrational? We live in an incredibly safe society. As for being developed by attractive people, I was talking about people who have always been considered attractive and I guess pretty universally. Many people change as they grow up. That's why also you get the worthless "just be confident" advice given by people who haven't ever had their confidence questioned by reality.
my point is that you'll only make any level of connection with shallow people when you're focusing on "shallow" things. It's self-fulfilling.
You're the only one who described anything as shallow though. It's just your judgement and I'm not sure what to even respond because I've never mentioned anything I would consider "shallow".
But if you want to be "desired" and do not care that it's real
The whole point is that it is real if it comes from a stranger who doesn't know much about you. Then it is pure attraction. There is no chance of it being for financial gain, clout or anything like that.
Idk that notable dates with other grifters, or dating a minor last year, proves he's desirable for his looks vs his money and fame, personally.
You're focusing on that guy who I don't even know much about other than that he's become infamous for extreme levels of looksmaxxing. Again, I have nothing to say to that, other than that wanting desire is very normal and valid, feeling unattractive when absolutely no one shows you any signs of attraction without a lot of effort on your part is valid (if unfortunate) and that sort of experience is sadly very real for many young men.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lobachevsky Link ParentWhy? Anyway I'm speaking more generally, not just about that particular person. That's good and all, but what is your point exactly? It is clear that the straight dating culture as such that men...it's incredibly likely he's disappointing his actual sexual partners while overstating his sexual activity...
Why? Anyway I'm speaking more generally, not just about that particular person.
As a poly, pan woman-ish in nerdy and kinky spaces. I, and others, approached men (and other women) all the time. They weren't thin and fit. (They still aren't.) I insisted my current partner date me (in a non-weird way) and he was disabled and overweight. But funny, and kind and not homophobic and he can cook and I love him. But even 20-year-old, "straight", "cis", naive, skinny me - who hung around a boyfriend far too long in college - wouldn't have found this whole Clavicular thing attractive.
That's good and all, but what is your point exactly? It is clear that the straight dating culture as such that men approach women massively more than otherwise. Kink, poly and queer spaces are their own bubbles that have their own quirks anyway. I don't think if a woman were to post issues she's had dating men it would be appropriate for me to post "well I don't do those things" like it changes her experience.
If people want to be desired by women, you'd think they'd listen to women about what they want.
People are notoriously bad at identifying what they want in reality, that's why when we compare self reports to what people actually choose we get quite different results. Not just in dating mind you. I actually think plenty of women give quite terrible dating advice, both to men and to other women, so I'll respectfully disagree with this generalization. At best it doesn't seem to be any better than advice given by men.
When women feel safe they will initiate.
If you had said "When women do not feel safe they will not initiate", I would agree wholeheartedly, and I would not just limit this to women, but to anyone really. To say that it's the only thing that matters I think is not right at all. That being said, I completely agree that safety and risk aversion is a solid part of this dynamic.
It's that whole "men fear rejection and women fear murder" thing about dating.
I don't know if fearing murder in a country with like 100 murders per year, most of which are related to gang activity is really a rational fear though, while fear of rejection is based on very real life experience. No one usually starts with that fear and I'm sure attractive people never even develop it.
If you try to appeal only to shallow people, you'll never make connections with the people who aren't because they'll also perceive you as shallow. It's once again confirmation bias, not actual confirmation.
The issue is not with making connections, the issue is with feeling (being) desirable or not. "Connection" can describe all manner of things.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lobachevsky Link ParentI don't think the issue is sex, otherwise just visiting a sex worker as some suggest would just magically solve everything. The issue is desirability. There's just something special in the feeling...There are so many attractive and thin/fit dudes who don't act like assholes but aren't famous; it's not his weight, it's being willing to grift. There are plenty of "morbidly obese" (ew for the language, btw) or "not conventionally attractive" men who have plenty of good sex. I can speak from experience. And there are plenty of horrid humans who other horrid humans will have sex with regardless of age, weight, looks, etc. for money or power as Trump proves.
He's confirmation only if you believe the images shown through the screen and not what's actually happening. Or, I guess, if any sex is worth any trade off... In which case hiring sex workers and treating them like humans would be less objectifying than what Clavicular is doing.
I don't think the issue is sex, otherwise just visiting a sex worker as some suggest would just magically solve everything. The issue is desirability. There's just something special in the feeling that someone finds you hot, not because you paid them to pretend, not because they want to settle, not because you charmed them with your charisma, not even because you're in love, but because there's some immense chemistry there, pure attraction. I think failing to experience it growing up and seeing it happen all around is what triggers this kind of attitude of forever chasing it more and more and just having really poor self image in general. I imagine that if you get famous it also wraps around the other end and it becomes "what if they are only doing this for clout" type of thing. But at least for me it's this constant self doubt. And becoming more attractive only confirms the worldview that human beings are incredibly shallow and looks are incredibly important.
The other reason I think this affects young men in particular is because men are practically always expected to be the initiators. I am sort of ashamed to admit it, but I still remember the time when I was approached for a casual encounter by a stranger for the first time and just sort of shut down because I couldn't even process what just happened.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lobachevsky Link ParentNot sure how you got the idea that I think sexism doesn't exist from my comments, considering my whole point is saying that society currently sexist against men in particular, for which there is...Not sure how you got the idea that I think sexism doesn't exist from my comments, considering my whole point is saying that society currently sexist against men in particular, for which there is little pushback except for crazy redpill/blackpill spaces, which is a huge problem. I surely hope you don't think sexism can only be applied against women. Ignoring that, I know it exists, since I'm from a traditionalist, patriarchal and sexist country. I happened to have moved into one of the most gender equal countries on the planet however and I champion what progressive movement has done to accomplish this. It's also obvious that women still experience sexism.
The fact that I need to add these disclaimers to talk about what to me is just basic reality on the ground, and the feelings of me and other young men, is precisely the kind of negativity and lack of support from society that I mean. The fact that your go to response is to call me a "flawed, dehumanizing incel". Yet another illustrative example of the kind of treatment I am talking about. I used the word "incel" on purpose too, instead of just saying "I didn't get laid until my early 20s". Do you see how it's become synonymous with an insult and an instant negative perception?
"woman" to "conventionally attractive woman", and then you generalize a whitewashed version of their experiences that doesn't even acknowledge any of the real negatives even attractive women experience
Sorry, but I don't believe this. My personal experience aside, there's a massive gap between (young) men and women on the ability to find both sex and relationships. Unless you think women in general are more attractive than men, something else must be going on here.
And surely this has about 0 effect on issues like draft. By the way, I am from a country where all men must serve in the military. And women just don't. Please don't just ignore it like it's nothing, it is a part of every 18 year old guy's life there.
Ultimately, all I'm really trying to say is that sexism exists both ways, both men and women face struggles and it's not right to say that one side always has it worse. That's really it. I consider myself a feminist though I don't believe we can ever truly reconcile the biological differences. Hopefully we can get closer though, as we did with women to great success.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lobachevsky (edited )Link ParentI mean this is exactly what I'm talking about. I think the environment of hostility we face when all we're doing is sharing our experiences is a big reason why there isn't anyone doing this in the...I mean this is exactly what I'm talking about. I think the environment of hostility we face when all we're doing is sharing our experiences is a big reason why there isn't anyone doing this in the mainstream. In addition, as I've mentioned, normies simply don't understand the issue, just like you don't. It's assumed to be a personal failing, which is why you're sending me links to fashion advice. Your assumption is that I'm just not good enough. Now imagine someone sharing their experiences being treated poorly for being overweight. Would your response be to send links to dietary advice and rant about how anorexic people have it worse? And at least that and fashion you can change. Height is unchangeable and it's completely accepted that it's totally fine for women (and other men!) to discriminate based on it. I think this post is quite illustrative.
Growing up as girls, we get told "hey baby" by men, and "stop looking like a slut" by women. That kind of support? Among our peers, we try to look like we're not trying too hard ("whore!") and downplay anything we're trying to do on our own ("try hard!"). Then there's magazines and movies telling us what to buy. That kind of support?
Forgive me for assuming, but since you are mentioning magazines and movies, are you sure this is still true for the current generation of young women? The culture has changed massively and at least from where I stand, in Northern Europe there is no shortage of women looking as much like "sluts" as they want, and obviously plenty make this into a lucrative career online. This is mostly just accepted, and is yet another option women have.
Not only that, but in addition to all these great new options women got from progressive culture (which are great!) they still have benefits of the traditional, patriarchal societies. Women get approached, women don't need to pay on dates, women can advance in society through marriage or relationships (there are so many examples of this for me because I come from a poorer country). The issue of draft is all over Europe now and women mostly get a pass. And I do really believe that socializing as women is broadly easier, women are more welcome on average. That's my experience at least.
I think that the reason why red pill and black pill got popular with young men is simply because it is more accurate to their reality than saying that women always have it worse, all women are victims of oppression, all men need to figure their shit out. I think it's not the case for the new generation in first world countries anymore.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lobachevsky Link ParentNot sure what you mean by support groups for girls to look their best. What I meant that there's support for most struggles women go through while young men and boys are largely on their own. The...Not sure what you mean by support groups for girls to look their best. What I meant that there's support for most struggles women go through while young men and boys are largely on their own. The word incel itself has become an insult.
Why aren't there groups of men supporting younger men in positive ways, online and off?
My guess is that it is because for anyone who does not have these struggles ("normies" and most women) it seems like a complete non issue and they think that something must be wrong with this increasing number of young men. The push is always to say that they must improve, they must do better, women are just upholding the right standard. The rhetoric around women's struggles is that society failed them, men failed them and so the push is for society to change. We've had wonderful transformation in our cultures due to this, but when it comes to supporting struggling young men there is absolutely no push for this. They must adapt or die, essentially.
So the only viable option is these online incel groups, often populated with incredibly bitter and jaded individuals, some truly hopeless, who are hell bent on convincing young men who actually have everything ahead of them that it's hopeless for them too. And the issue is, their toxic views are based on actual reality that is felt by these young men.
The algorithm is pushing yes but thousands of channels also exist to softmaxx, no? Heaven knows the cosmetic industry has tried for decades.
Not sure what you mean.
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Comment on An insight into looksmaxxxing/blackpill "ideology" in ~life
Lobachevsky LinkThis is an interesting topic to me because I've been an incel for most of my youth. Then I had a glow up through much effort and established myself as a pretty high tier "normie". In that sense I...This is an interesting topic to me because I've been an incel for most of my youth. Then I had a glow up through much effort and established myself as a pretty high tier "normie". In that sense I think blackpill is completely accurate, in some interpretation at least, but you can definitely change your situation. It's just that most people take the wrong lessons from it.
My experience is such that being attractive, especially as a kid, simply makes things easier for you. It's easier for you to get experience talking to people (and girls), your mistakes are forgiven more easily, you get more exposure to it all simply by existing. In that sense, when people say things like "oh it's all about confidence", that's true but for someone who is attractive it's much easier to reach that confidence and the threshold for how hard they need to try is lower. That's all well and good, we probably cannot do anything about it, the halo effect, etc.
The problem is that there is virtually no support group for young men that are affected by this. You get ridiculed, bullied and shunned. You're told it's your fault, you haven't tried hard enough, you're given advice that doesn't match your reality by people who are incapable of understanding it. It's like as a white person there are certain aspects of living as a person of color that I just won't be able to understand. This is how I feel when women comment on anything related to these issues to be honest. I feel like the difference in average experience is just massive. And a big part of that is that support groups for women are plentiful, and they're seen as a good thing, while young men are relegated to these online groups that give them more and more extreme and desperate views, because there isn't anyone to advocate for them. Mostly because if you've never experienced this (meaning you're a "normie"), you just cannot comprehend how can someone even be in that situation - for you everything just works out and your opinions come from that perspective.
I do think it's ultimately a good thing that this view is becoming more mainstream. As you say, it is more honest and maybe will get more recognition for the young people affected. As it stands, it is frankly an accepted form of sexism.
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Comment on Allbirds announces pivot from running shoes to AI compute; stock surged over 700% in ~tech
Lobachevsky Link ParentI don't think it's particularly different from any other topic. Seems like these days (maybe it was always like this?) everyone needs a boogieman to hate on, no matter what reality is. For some...I don't think it's particularly different from any other topic. Seems like these days (maybe it was always like this?) everyone needs a boogieman to hate on, no matter what reality is. For some people it's immigrants or trans people, for some it's AI (for me it's the country of Sweden lol). I guess the scary part is how everybody is eager to point out how those people have got it all wrong, man they must be really stupid and gullible. But then do the exact same thing with another topic.
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Comment on The center has a bias in ~tech
Lobachevsky Link ParentWell that's because "AI" is a huge umbrella term for many different models that are also extremely highly customizable by their nature. It's like criticizing a car's performance without saying...Well that's because "AI" is a huge umbrella term for many different models that are also extremely highly customizable by their nature. It's like criticizing a car's performance without saying anything about its model, body, gear box or engine. And without having a driver's license.
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Comment on AI populism's warning shots in ~society
Lobachevsky Link ParentTo be frank, this is not at all surprising and in my experience that's the direction practically every progressive space online has taken under the guise of "well what's next, you want literal...To be frank, this is not at all surprising and in my experience that's the direction practically every progressive space online has taken under the guise of "well what's next, you want literal nazis colonizing our discussion?" Whatever is the progressive stance must be followed or you get shunned or at least it's the cause of a huge drama and rift in the community. AI just happens to be the topic where you disagree with that stance. Frankly it's made some unrelated hobby websites incredibly insufferable (thankfully most can still be enjoyed, just without participating in the forums).
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Comment on I think Tildes moderators and admins may need to make a decision regarding how to handle Harry Potter related posts in ~tildes
Lobachevsky Link ParentI really would rather keep anything US related out of my line of sight, and yet people on this forum keep responding with entirely (even self admittedly) US centric views generalized like they're...There's no world in which discussing Harry Potter is more important than someone requesting you don't.
I really would rather keep anything US related out of my line of sight, and yet people on this forum keep responding with entirely (even self admittedly) US centric views generalized like they're universal truths. Would it really be reasonable for me to demand everybody stop discussing anything US related on tildes? Somehow nobody ever thought so, they just told me to deal with it every single time. This can be quite frustrating.
Would it also be reasonable for me to comment on every war/atrocity the US has committed, on every single post related to the US or tagged as US related? And then say that it's just so people are aware? And label every single post criticizing the US as exemplary, even if it's not directly related to what's being posted? That's not spreading awareness, that's just being disruptive. People cannot help being from the US just like people cannot help having read/watched Harry Potter in the past and enjoying it.
Anyways, I just filter out US tagged posts and move on, which is what I recommend everyone does with whatever bothers them.
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Comment on I think Tildes moderators and admins may need to make a decision regarding how to handle Harry Potter related posts in ~tildes
Lobachevsky LinkSeems like this is what tags and labels are for, which you can filter out if some content is upsetting for you to see. Checking the trailer post, I don't think this necessarily calls for admin...Seems like this is what tags and labels are for, which you can filter out if some content is upsetting for you to see.
Checking the trailer post, I don't think this necessarily calls for admin intervention even, unless people start flinging insults at each other. The giant comment chain was hidden away from me when I opened the post, so looks like labels are working as intended. This, I think, is what makes Tildes superior to, for instance, reddit, where on topic posts would be downvoted to hell.
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Comment on Why are we still doing this? in ~tech
Lobachevsky Link ParentSo you're using 1 country as an example to say that any time a company provides a cheap and good service, it's a honeypot to capture the market? As I said, everywhere I've been to (not United...predominantly in the United States (12 acquisitions), followed by the United Kingdom (2 acquisitions), and China (1 acquisition).
So you're using 1 country as an example to say that any time a company provides a cheap and good service, it's a honeypot to capture the market? As I said, everywhere I've been to (not United States), there are both alternative apps and traditional taxi options. I have no comment on what went on in the US or what's the state of taxi services in the US. My guess is that it's something very specific to that country considering it seemingly didn't happen anywhere else.
I mean I agree with everything you said in theory, but after years and years and years of being blamed for sexism, patriarchy, discrimination, being privileged, being told you must speak up or else you're just as bad, toxic masculinity, that "not all men" is just an excuse, I just feel like this nuance is completely absent from the broader conversation up until we start talking about the ways in which women are privileged or in which men are discriminated against. And then suddenly the nuance is found. A lot of the time it seems like it is absolutely impossible to have women, whether as a category or as individuals, to be responsible for anything. I am pretty sure even statistically young women are way ahead of young men in plethora of ways, but even though back when it was the opposite the conversation was "men should fix it", the conversation now is still "men should fix it".
I don't know, maybe it's just my personal experience and doesn't reflect the world one bit, but even in queer spaces it seems like what was once a push towards equality and acceptance (obviously good things) has turned into "those cis men am I right?" attitude that automatically invalidates any cis man individually. It just overall makes for a very bleak world where everything seems to be my fault and I should find a way to deal with it and to please understand, it is simply because of how 90% of criminals and creeps are men. I thought we weren't supposed to be using statistics that way, and yet...