simplify's recent activity
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Comment on Have you made a video game? Can I play it? in ~games
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Comment on Have you made a video game? Can I play it? in ~games
simplify LinkI’ve been wanting to jump into Godot and start making a game for a while, but my job just takes so much out of me that I have no desire to code when I get home. My partner and I have a really fun...I’ve been wanting to jump into Godot and start making a game for a while, but my job just takes so much out of me that I have no desire to code when I get home. My partner and I have a really fun idea for a cozy farm sim that we’d like to make, it just feels so far off. I wish I could quit my job and dedicate all my time to working on it. For now, it’s so tough to get started.
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Comment on Are most jobs not what you thought they would be? Expectations vs. reality. in ~talk
simplify Link ParentIt sounds like you already know the answer. I deal with this all by living my life true to my beliefs, for better or worse. And the "worse" side of that can get me into trouble and force me to get...I guess it feels like I cannot imagine a life doing the same thing over and over again forever or for decades at a time, but I also really need healthcare...
It sounds like you already know the answer.
I deal with this all by living my life true to my beliefs, for better or worse. And the "worse" side of that can get me into trouble and force me to get a job again. I don't know. The older I get, the fewer answers I have. Everything just feels unnecessarily difficult and complicated. I'm exhausted by it all. It seems so pointless to have to do so much of what we're made to do. But what else can I do? I didn't ask to be here, yet here I am.
I am able-bodied and able-minded, though I'm sure I could be diagnosed with something that society thinks is abnormal. I'm not a doctor and don't claim to know about any of that, but it seems to me that society doesn't like people who think outside the box or just feel or act or learn differently than society's own prescriptions. I tend to agree with Jiddu Krishnamurti who says, "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” So maybe I'm depressed, but how can one not be depressed when you consider how everything's going?
I wish I could offer some good, actionable advice on how to cope with having to go to a job, any job, day in and day out, and not feel the dread of wasting this gift of consciousness that's been bestowed upon us. Maybe the Zen adage, "Before Enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water," is a helpful reminder that work has always sucked and the only way to deal with it is to understand it sucks, that's just how things are, and keep doing what you've got to do to live. But honestly, chopping wood and carrying water often sounds a lot better than modern employment.
I think what you might be looking for is your ikigai. It's a Japanese concept that is basically your reason for being. But it's more about finding that thing you're good at, that the world needs, that is something you love, and something you can be paid for. Easier said than done, I know. But it's a life pursuit. It might be something you haven't even considered yet. Maybe framing your search with this concept would be helpful in uncovering it.
For me, I suppose I'm just going to carry on doing what I've got to do on any given day. I'll try to make things better and easier for myself, but also try to be patient about it and cut myself some slack. I want to pay off some debt, but not be so serious about it that I neglect buying some silly thing that makes me feel like all the toil is worth it, even if that thing only offers a fleeting moment of respite from the psychic pain of having to do so much that seems so unnecessary. Sometimes I'll drink too much wine and feel bad about myself and regretful and promise myself that's it, I'm quitting. But then I'll probably change my tune in a week or two because wine's delicious and it helps.
My ideal self is some monk who isn't so obsessed with ego and materialism and sex and also doesn't have to do much beyond chopping wood and carrying water and thinking and writing. But that's just not me this time around. Maybe next time.
Recommended listening: Haley Heynderickx - Seed of a Seed
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Comment on Are most jobs not what you thought they would be? Expectations vs. reality. in ~talk
simplify LinkI think most jobs are exactly what I think they'll be: a big waste of my life, a slog, something I just have to do for money. And I've had some pretty cushy jobs. I definitely enjoy some parts of...I think most jobs are exactly what I think they'll be: a big waste of my life, a slog, something I just have to do for money. And I've had some pretty cushy jobs. I definitely enjoy some parts of jobs I've had, I can find joy in little moments at them, and I'm generally a positive addition to a team. People like me, I'm outgoing and helpful, I'm not a killjoy. But at the end of the day, it's just eight hours of my life down the drain. If you wouldn't go there without the paycheck, then that tells you everything you need to know. I know some people can do the whole "work to live" thing and convince themselves that it's great that their job enables them to pursue their hobbies outside of work. I wish I could do that. Truly. But I can't. I can't help but feel that I'm wasting so much of what little life I get at some meaningless job.
The best "job" I had was working for myself writing. I would do that if money weren't a concern. I'd still be doing it if I had broken through and made the next level of income. But it did support me for a long time. For now, I'm back in the corporate world. I'm a software developer and it's exactly what I thought it would be. I'm good at it, but when quittin' time comes, it feels like more hours of my life that I'll never get back. My time continues to flit away into the aether.
I'm sorry this is so negative, but this is how I've always felt in my life. No job has ever felt truly valuable to me, regardless of the money. I just can't feel fulfilled assisting someone else's dream. I'm not built that way and it's been a source of conflict inside of me for a long time.
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Comment on Tildes homepage is down? (2025-02-25 4pm UTC) in ~tildes
simplify Link ParentTildes should have some kind of prepared statement for outages like this.- Exemplary
Tildes should have some kind of prepared statement for outages like this.
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify (edited )Link ParentMy advice for her is to do some research on the niche/category she wants to write in by looking at the Amazon bestsellers list (Top 100) for that niche, take a look at the bigger authors in that...- Exemplary
My advice for her is to do some research on the niche/category she wants to write in by looking at the Amazon bestsellers list (Top 100) for that niche, take a look at the bigger authors in that niche to see what they're doing, read some of their books, and see if it's a viable moneymaker. If the #1 book in a niche/category is sub-5000 in overall sales rank, there's decent money to be made there. If the #1 book is sub-100 in rank, it's going to be very competitive. Throughout all of this research, keep writing. Treat writing like a job, keep a schedule, try to write 3000-5000 words a day. It's a muscle and you need to work it out.
Writing an on-going series is probably the way to go from the start. It doesn't have to be the same characters every time. One book could be about the cousin of the protagonist from another book. But romance readers love series. My advice on a series would be to write 3 novels in the series and then publish them all at once, making the first one permafree (there are ways to make a book free forever on Amazon) to get readers hooked.
All the money is on Amazon. You pretty much have to be in their Kindle Unlimited program. It pays a fraction of a cent per page read, but fractions add up. The more you write, the more people who read you, the more you will earn. I averaged a novel every 6 weeks or so. There are other ways to do it, like writing longer books, writing in a series as I mentioned, but you need to get your name out there and the easiest way is to put as much content in front of readers as you can.
She should signup for Dirty Discourse; it's a forum for romance writers and there is so much information and support there. I'm not a member anymore, but I was for many years. I can't vouch for it over the last few years, but the admins and moderators always did such a great job, I'm sure it's still thriving. It does cost money, but it is totally worth it. Seriously. Sign up for it and start devouring all the information now. Introduce yourself and contribute what you can. They boot you if you're not active.
Self-publishing is a lot of work. Unless you plan to pay people to do stuff for you, you've got to write, edit, market, do graphic design, and so much more. I did it all myself because I have a unique set of skills. If she (or you) don't have all these skills, you may end up farming things out. Dirty Discourse can help with that as well. Covers are just so important. Readers judge a book by its cover first, blurb second. You need to have alluring, niche-specific covers.
For software, I recommend writing in something like Scrivener to help keep you organized. For layout of ebooks and print books, the absolute best software out there is Vellum. It's amazing. It's Mac-only. But it has no rival with ease of creating ebooks and print books, that if you don't have a Mac I would recommend buying one (older, secondhand, whatever) just to use Vellum. It's that good. Vellum will absolutely make your work look professional. I think not using Vellum is a huge mistake unless you really love laying books out by hand with something like LaTeX. If you don't have a passion for that kind of work, get Vellum. Get Vellum.
You mention erotica, but short-form erotica has been a dead end for making money for almost 10 years. It's all about romance novels (which can be erotic). The readers are voracious, so just write and write and write. I sort of got stuck in a rut of writing 50K word novels, which is about 250 pages. I should have been writing 80-100K word novels. This goes back to the Kindle Unlimited pay-per-page scheme. Readers like longer books, because they are addicted. You can never write enough to satisfy them.
This brain dump should hopefully get you and your partner started. First step is research and Dirty Discourse. And keep writing. Write as much as you can. Good luck!
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify Link ParentAbsolutely fair. I found myself wondering at times, as well. I guess I’m trained to feel absence has specific meaning in fiction, but it could just be shoddy storytelling. I’m a shoddy storyteller...Absolutely fair. I found myself wondering at times, as well. I guess I’m trained to feel absence has specific meaning in fiction, but it could just be shoddy storytelling. I’m a shoddy storyteller myself, so I should be able to sniff it out. I think my main complaint was that the story was too longwinded and really went hard at places it didn’t need to. I’m still thinking about it hours later, so that’s good at least.
Ultimately, I’m thinking it was a very insular story about the narrator’s experience, and being told in second person is an attempt to force the reader into it in a way to make it feel specifically personal, like we’re living it ourselves. So maybe it’s an “all in your head” kind of thing. And that makes me feel the absence of any spousal interaction is even more meaningful.
Though now that I think about it, there were times when the narrator referenced personal things that came out of nowhere and it was jarring. But that jarring-ness was interesting because it came out of nowhere and we had no frame of reference for it. The entire story was about work and an allegory for the modern white-collar condition. It’s an obsession with work. So life outside of work is maybe… not as important? I’m not sure yet. I’m still thinking about it.
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify Link ParentThank you. I'm taking steps to start writing again, but I haven't started. Work just drains everything out of me. It's true that writing is a tough occupation. Doing it full time for so long...Thank you. I'm taking steps to start writing again, but I haven't started. Work just drains everything out of me. It's true that writing is a tough occupation. Doing it full time for so long really fried me. But this time around, I hope I'm able to supplement it with part-time work I really enjoy so that I'm not 100% reliant on the variable income that comes with being an artist.
I hope you, too, are able to find more time to work on your writing. My main advice to writers is to kill the inner critic, don't even let it speak. Just try to flip the switch that sends your fingers into auto-pilot and unload as much as you can from your brain whenever you do sit down at the keyboard. You can always fix it later. Once you free yourself from feeling like you need to be perfect, that's when you really begin.
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify Link ParentOr it was a conscious decision by the author to make the narrator appear distant from their spouse or distant from personal relationships in general. At one job I worked at, my manager (who was a...Or it was a conscious decision by the author to make the narrator appear distant from their spouse or distant from personal relationships in general.
At one job I worked at, my manager (who was a partner) admitted to me that he hated being at our main client because they were so demanding of him, he hated being in the office because of stress and fighting with other partners, and he hated being at home because his relationship with his wife was basically dead. He had no place to be.
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify Link ParentCongratulations on taking the leap. It is both scary and exciting. Given your history, you’ve probably got a bit of money saved. My advice would be to allow your financial cushion to give you the...Congratulations on taking the leap. It is both scary and exciting. Given your history, you’ve probably got a bit of money saved. My advice would be to allow your financial cushion to give you the space to breathe, but don’t take it for granted. If you don’t need to spend, don’t. But it’s okay to laze around and recover for a bit. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of sloth.
As for worrying about turning a passion into work, and subsequently hating it… well, don’t worry about it. Just try things. Just see what works for you. I had no idea that I was going to fall into writing romance. But early on, when I was entertaining the idea, it seemed to me like it was my ‘ikigai.’ If you’ve never encountered the idea, it’s like the confluence of what you’re good at, what you love, what the world needs, and what you can get paid for. And in a way, I still feel like writing romance is that for me. When I burned out from writing it, it’s because I was doing it wrong. I was hiding from it. I have best friends and family who don’t know my pen name. I couldn’t share my wins with anybody. It was very lonely.
So I think for me to overcome this and turn my passion for writing into a career (second time’s a charm, right?), I have to do it out in the open. That’s hard when you’re writing smut. But you’ve got to put yourself out there. Despite what happened to me, I would never say I regretted taking the leap I did, or turning my passion into a job. Knowing where I am now and how I feel, I think back to those times and realize how lucky I was and what my mistakes were. I want that life back.
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify Link ParentI do have some connections in snow removal, which is why I proposed it as something to do. It was also a bit facetious. I think I’m just looking for things that would get me off the computer and...I do have some connections in snow removal, which is why I proposed it as something to do. It was also a bit facetious. I think I’m just looking for things that would get me off the computer and into reality. I also have a friend who empties port-a-potties for a living. I think I’d rather plow snow than do that. I know I’m supposed to feel “good” about being a knowledge worker, but all this is what the linked story addresses. My buddy who cleans port-a-potties has got a pretty good attitude all around. That kind of work beats up your body; the work I do beats up my mind.
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify Link ParentI come from a literary background and have an MFA. But honestly, I would probably return to romance. I would simply do it differently. My previous pen name isn’t something I felt like I could...I come from a literary background and have an MFA. But honestly, I would probably return to romance. I would simply do it differently. My previous pen name isn’t something I felt like I could share with anybody; I wrote under a female name and my author was as much of a character as any character in my novels. So I had to remain hidden behind the name. If I jumped back into writing, I’d probably write a few novels under my old name to get some money flowing, and then start a new pen name that was more “me.” Sort of a men’s adventure/romance/literary amalgamation. I attempted the switch before, but I didn’t give it enough time to marinate because when I wasn’t writing under my main name, I wasn’t earning.
What’s nice about writing in one of the big genres is that people actually read them. The literary, navel-gazing world I come from has such a small readership. Success in that world is generally limited to people who come from money or have connections. There’s no living to be made there for a working class writer.
With my knowledge of the industry and a more developed sense of what I want, I hope I could craft some sort of author personality and writing style from the start that I wouldn’t mind sharing publicly and also wouldn’t mind being known as, let’s face it, a pornographer.
I’m thinking that if I could figure out the seasonal job hustle, I might be able to make it all work after a few years. But working the 9-5 in an office just isn’t for me. It feels like death. It kills all the inspiration and drive inside of me.
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Comment on The ideal candidate will be punched in the stomach in ~health.mental
simplify LinkAbout 10 years ago I blew up my career in IT and quit without a plan. I ended up writing romance novels for 7 years. Most of the time, I loved it. But eventually I burned out from the necessary...About 10 years ago I blew up my career in IT and quit without a plan. I ended up writing romance novels for 7 years. Most of the time, I loved it. But eventually I burned out from the necessary output to stay afloat financially. After deciding to quit writing, and after spending some time sharpening my programming skills, I landed in a software development job through a bit of luck. Now it’s been 3 years and I’m just miserable again. It’s not that the work is hard (it’s not), and it’s not that the job is that bad (well…), the problem is that it feels so pointless.
I’m middle aged now. If I blow this up again, I may not be able to get back into tech. But maybe that’s a good thing. I want to write again. It’s actually all I’ve ever really wanted to do, and I lived that blessed artist’s life for 7 years. It was hard, but it was rewarding. I have a friend who’s a biologist and throughout the summer he’s away on trips doing field work. They always need people in the summer. So, provided the current administration doesn’t mess with their government contracts, I think I might just become a field biologist this summer. And also write. And then maybe in the winter I’ll learn how to plow snow.
I don’t know. But working in a corporate office just feels like an enormous waste of my life. I understand the idea of “work to live” but that’s never worked for me. It feels like a trap.
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Comment on Why did you select your username for Tildes? in ~tildes
What I really need to figure out is how to feel not exhausted all the time. After I get home from work, do chores, dinner, there is still time left before bed but I’m just so tired that I can’t get motivated to sit at my computer and dive in. And then on the weekend, I end up sleeping in because I’m so tired, then it’s errands and cleaning and a little bit of a social life, and then suddenly it’s Sunday night. I don’t know how people with children get anything done at all.
Quitting the job is the right move. I did that before and worked on my own project for years. I’ve got the discipline. I think, though, this time around I’d have to have a big chunk on the game finished and an even bigger chunk of cash in the bank to leave gainful employment for yet another dream. But I think you’re right. I need to find the passion or motivation or whatever to sit down and really learn the engine. I’ve read that GDScript is a lot like Python, so I think it would be a quick onboarding for me. Just gotta do it.