A post from last month I saw on r/MensLib, in which some (among other LGBT identities) asexual men, how, among a few other questions, they relate to being men and how society thinks of them also...
A post from last month I saw on r/MensLib, in which some (among other LGBT identities) asexual men, how, among a few other questions, they relate to being men and how society thinks of them also being asexual.
Introductions (the 6 dudes they asked to give them anecdotes)
My name is Bob O’Boyle. I am an ace nonbinary man.
My name is Cody, and I’m an asexual man.
My name is Daniel, and I identify as homoromantic asexual. I’m a cis man.
My name is David (he/they), and I am asexual and aromantic, nonbinary, and masc.
My name is Eliott Simpson. I am a panromantic asexual, and am also male-presenting gender fluid.
My name is Joshua Godfrey and I am an aroace man.
How does your gender intersect with your orientation?
BOB: Very directly. As there is an expectation on women in society to be available sexually to men, there is an expectation on men to be constantly desiring sex, as well as available for sex to women. People don’t often think about that, because of the fact that sex is generally handled in such a one-way fashion. This in turn makes dating more difficult, has contributed to the dissolution of my marriage, and means that I have to work that much harder to relate and be seen as “safe” to non-men, since not only do I have to make clear what my orientation is, on top of countering the expectations that I have to carry thanks to societal instructions.
What do you wish ace people knew about you or other ace men?
BOB: Firstly, that we exist, and secondly, that we are a legitimate minority within the community; about 13% of the community according to a 2018 ace community survey. Secondly, that there is as much pressure on us to perform sexuality – and sexually – as there is on women from society. Granted men are the ones who hold and are in positions of power, but if you do not perform to the standard set forth for men, then you will be ostracized for it – including and especially by women. Being in power and wielding/having access to power do not necessarily overlap all the time.
This is definitely a take worth talking about concerning the relation between the various benefits or struggles not faced by men and basically any minority/discriminated-against identity. The cultural tropes and other messaging sent to men by society & a lot of our culture is heard and often supported by many women, which puts a burden on a large majority of men.
A post from last month I saw on r/MensLib, in which some (among other LGBT identities) asexual men, how, among a few other questions, they relate to being men and how society thinks of them also being asexual.
Introductions (the 6 dudes they asked to give them anecdotes)
This is definitely a take worth talking about concerning the relation between the various benefits or struggles not faced by men and basically any minority/discriminated-against identity. The cultural tropes and other messaging sent to men by society & a lot of our culture is heard and often supported by many women, which puts a burden on a large majority of men.