Becoming a father is a moment of great elation and stress, bringing challenges that are hard to anticipate. Given the different demands and circumstances that surround us, many of these challenges are not necessarily shared by our partners. At the very least, many challenges and fortuitous circumstances contain features that are more common for men. What was not like you expected (good or bad)? What did you find particularly surprising or revealing?

It's that magical time of year where I'm being badgered for a Christmas list. I'm 44, have 3 middle teens and a 3 year old (he's late to the party). I have everything I need, but I get asked anyway. I don't want just socks and random tops that I'm not a fan of this year, so I need ideas.

Hobby wise, I'm in IT so tech is already done and not something I can ask for. Asking for a 9" grinder so I can remove some posts next year seems a bit non-chrismassy, or is it because it's something I need and will use?

HELP!

My kids are 17, 15, 14 and 3. The eldest have heard my repertoire over and over again. I speak of my beloved dad favourites such as:

2 cows are in a field. One turns to the other and says "Moo!", the other cow says "Oi, I was going to say that."

2 sausages are in a frying pan. One says "Phew, it's hot in here!" And the other says "Oh my God. A talking sausage!"

Did you hear about the magic tractor? It was going down the road and turned into a field!

Now that you have finished laughing, I need some fresh stuff. So what hidden gems do you have for me to steal and use to cause more groans?