My brother who moved from Sweden to England and there met someone, got a kid etc - ran in to the other end of this problem. The norm here as a dad is that you stay at home with your kids (parental...
My brother who moved from Sweden to England and there met someone, got a kid etc - ran in to the other end of this problem. The norm here as a dad is that you stay at home with your kids (parental leave being split between parents) and the first year is often a focus on your child. We have a ton of sexism in these relationships too obviously, but the idea that he was the breadwinner and had to abandon his child and parental role to work was so alien to him he quit his job and lived on savings for a year.
In England this was seen as a bit odd and suspect. Hell walking with him and his kid in a pram got us both stares which was weird.
Anyway the way that also strikes against men is that IF a marriage ends, suddenly the attention they have given to their children can be used as against them as an argument. Living on savings and not going to work for example is most certainly something that can be used against a man to describe his lack of responsibility as a father.
Similarly since women are expected to stay home with kids and not working, they have this thing where the man has to pay his ex-wife for life monthly since the norm is that since the lack of safetynets and the defined strict gender roles of women she is assumed to not be able to support herself. Coming from a place where, again, sexism is alive and horrid as everywhere else obviously, but the norm is that both partners split parenting and home life 50/50 - the idea of this was shocking tbh. (also in England you have to go to a court to get divorced! O.O )
So afterwards I read up on what a lot of dudes in England said about this and the internet was filled with idiots who griped about that "alimony" but never once seemed to connect the dots that if they worked to improve the lot for women, all this would be redundant.
You sort of go "I don't wanna be married" (marriage is two people agreeing to be married, a divorce is one of those going "nope") and then you stop being married. Courts are only involved if there...
You sort of go "I don't wanna be married" (marriage is two people agreeing to be married, a divorce is one of those going "nope") and then you stop being married. Courts are only involved if there is shared property and a conflict or say you refuse to share the kids.
Its considered a last resort and usually they have therapists and stuff before that. Property bought together is split down the middle and the assumption is that both parties will do that as adults. Courts are the last step and usually not needed.
My brother who moved from Sweden to England and there met someone, got a kid etc - ran in to the other end of this problem. The norm here as a dad is that you stay at home with your kids (parental leave being split between parents) and the first year is often a focus on your child. We have a ton of sexism in these relationships too obviously, but the idea that he was the breadwinner and had to abandon his child and parental role to work was so alien to him he quit his job and lived on savings for a year.
In England this was seen as a bit odd and suspect. Hell walking with him and his kid in a pram got us both stares which was weird.
Anyway the way that also strikes against men is that IF a marriage ends, suddenly the attention they have given to their children can be used as against them as an argument. Living on savings and not going to work for example is most certainly something that can be used against a man to describe his lack of responsibility as a father.
Similarly since women are expected to stay home with kids and not working, they have this thing where the man has to pay his ex-wife for life monthly since the norm is that since the lack of safetynets and the defined strict gender roles of women she is assumed to not be able to support herself. Coming from a place where, again, sexism is alive and horrid as everywhere else obviously, but the norm is that both partners split parenting and home life 50/50 - the idea of this was shocking tbh. (also in England you have to go to a court to get divorced! O.O )
So afterwards I read up on what a lot of dudes in England said about this and the internet was filled with idiots who griped about that "alimony" but never once seemed to connect the dots that if they worked to improve the lot for women, all this would be redundant.
This is not the case in Sweden? How does that normally work then?
You sort of go "I don't wanna be married" (marriage is two people agreeing to be married, a divorce is one of those going "nope") and then you stop being married. Courts are only involved if there is shared property and a conflict or say you refuse to share the kids.
Its considered a last resort and usually they have therapists and stuff before that. Property bought together is split down the middle and the assumption is that both parties will do that as adults. Courts are the last step and usually not needed.