Omnicrola's recent activity

  1. Comment on Are there any aspects of your mental life that you know/suspect to be idiosyncratic? in ~life

    Omnicrola
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    I often find myself overly focused not on if people will hear me, but that if they hear me they will think I am worth listening to. I will often rehearse in my head what I'm going to say in any...

    I often find myself overly focused not on if people will hear me, but that if they hear me they will think I am worth listening to. I will often rehearse in my head what I'm going to say in any situation I anticipate being in, trying to make sure I have something intelligent (or funny) to say.

    This has taken on some very detrimental aspects with my wife. Since I have a habit of paying out both parts of a conversation in my head, her responses aren't always accurate especially when I'm upset, so she's often waaaaay more angry at me in my own head than she actually is IRL. Therapy has been immensely helpful with this.

    When you think about other people overhearing you, do you worry about what they'll think of you, or is it more of a "I don't want them listening to my private conversation" thing?

    4 votes
  2. Comment on Are there any aspects of your mental life that you know/suspect to be idiosyncratic? in ~life

    Omnicrola
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    A good friend of mine recently learned that he is aphantasiaic (that's a word, right?) and he's in his early 40s. It completely blew his mind, and it also brought a number of our conversations...

    A good friend of mine recently learned that he is aphantasiaic (that's a word, right?) and he's in his early 40s. It completely blew his mind, and it also brought a number of our conversations into perspective. He does some hobby crafting with wood and resin in his garage, and was always very skeptical when I would describe why we should try something I thought would look good later when it was finished. Or a different way of arranging parts and pieces to make a jig for something.

    His skepticism makes a lot more sense now that I understand that while I'm picturing it in my head, he literally can't do that and so doesn't fully understand what I'm trying to describe. It's a lot more helpful to draw something out, which I hadn't bothered to do before.

    4 votes
  3. Comment on Are there any aspects of your mental life that you know/suspect to be idiosyncratic? in ~life

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    If it's persisted for longer than a few weeks, that's definitely something to talk to your doctor about. That's definitely not a symptom of depression itself AFAIK.

    If it's persisted for longer than a few weeks, that's definitely something to talk to your doctor about. That's definitely not a symptom of depression itself AFAIK.

    5 votes
  4. Comment on Are there any aspects of your mental life that you know/suspect to be idiosyncratic? in ~life

    Omnicrola
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    Fortunately I was on a low dose to begin with, so it probably could have been a lot worse. It also definitely had a curve to it. At the beginning it was as jarring as having icewater thrown over...

    Fortunately I was on a low dose to begin with, so it probably could have been a lot worse. It also definitely had a curve to it. At the beginning it was as jarring as having icewater thrown over my head, and would happen every 5-10 minutes. Over a week or so it faded in intensity and got further apart, until it was gone.

    Sucks you had to go through that! Prescriptions can help a lot with mental health, but there's still so much that's not understood and also not very well known.

    5 votes
  5. Comment on Are there any aspects of your mental life that you know/suspect to be idiosyncratic? in ~life

    Omnicrola
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    I almost always behave as if someone is watching. This definitely goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, and probably has roots in religious upbringing (Jesus is always watching!). Most of the time it's...

    I almost always behave as if someone is watching. This definitely goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, and probably has roots in religious upbringing (Jesus is always watching!).

    Most of the time it's not really bothersome, and it takes the form of constantly imagining what I must look like to an outside observer. Think of it like someone on stage trying to critique their own body language in a scene. It happens even when I'm alone, but is always "on" when I'm around people. The self-awareness is especially acute when I think there might be cameras (CCD or otherwise) around, because I think of how someone could replay my actions and examine every minute detail.

    At times it definitely elevates to a point where it is a hindrance, but I've gotten better over the years of downplaying it.

    7 votes
  6. Comment on Are there any aspects of your mental life that you know/suspect to be idiosyncratic? in ~life

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    I've also experienced this. I was on a mild SSRI for about a year, then decided to stop taking it after I had changed jobs and was in a much less stressful environment. Foolishly I A) decided this...

    I've also experienced this. I was on a mild SSRI for about a year, then decided to stop taking it after I had changed jobs and was in a much less stressful environment. Foolishly I A) decided this all by myself and B) stopped cold-turkey.

    Turns out that the "zaps" or "snaps" is one of the reasons you're not supposed to just suddenly stop SSRIs.

    It is a very jarring sensation. Several times I was in the middle of a conversation with a group of people and I would just stop in the middle of a sentence. My mind would go totally blank for a second and I had to spend about a minute putting my train of thought back together. Thankfully it faded and stopped after about 2 weeks.

    8 votes
  7. Comment on The election that could break America - What if Trump refuses to concede? in ~misc

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    I'm not going to claim to know the inner thoughts of any of the justices, but I think that's an unfair assumption. If any part of our government is the most removed from the idiocy of political...

    we can be all too sure they'll rule in favor of whatever argument Trump comes up with to say he wins.

    I'm not going to claim to know the inner thoughts of any of the justices, but I think that's an unfair assumption. If any part of our government is the most removed from the idiocy of political gamesmanship, it's the SC. They don't have to think about being reelected, or pander to a specific city, state, or region.

    That doesn't mean I think they're magically somehow perfectly unbiased, but I do think they're more removed from the 2 party idiocy than anyone in the Senate or House.

    12 votes
  8. Comment on What are your “Flowerbox Indicators”? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    Groups will coalesce around things like this organically, usually as a result of some common shared interest or experience. "Oh you like Marvel movies? me too!" Food is a fairly common and also...

    So I think there's a team "identity" wrapped up in an external object, where the object doesn't matter as much as the "this is ours" sense.

    Groups will coalesce around things like this organically, usually as a result of some common shared interest or experience.
    "Oh you like Marvel movies? me too!"

    Food is a fairly common and also very powerful one. The ritual of sharing food with teammates, either through ordering take out or going to the same lunch spot regularly is maybe one of the best team experiences.

    It can also be used to "fake" team cohesion until something takes it's place. Picture the boss taking everyone out to lunch. Is it forced? yea. Does it still work? To a point. Usually most effective with new teams, as a way to kind of accelerate the building of social bonds. It can be kind of awkward at first though. When it's used a a "fix" for a team that's been together for months or years it's usually like using a band-aid to fix a broken leg. There are bigger picture-things that need to be addressed.

  9. Comment on What are your “Flowerbox Indicators”? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    In a healthy workplace, absolutely. It's worth keeping in mind that there are work environments where it is 100% personal, and people will shut down ideas just because Bob said it first and Bob...

    when your idea gets shot down, it isn't something personal.

    In a healthy workplace, absolutely. It's worth keeping in mind that there are work environments where it is 100% personal, and people will shut down ideas just because Bob said it first and Bob did that thing that I didn't like 3 months ago and now it's my mission to destroy him.

    The real frustrating part is when you get "burn victims". Which is how we referred to team members who had carry-over toxic behavior from a previous job. With some personal 1-1 feedback and some trust, that behavior can be corrected (usually), but it's hard.

    2 votes
  10. Comment on Please don't say just hello in chat in ~tech

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    This is the crux of it. It's a collision of an existing social ritual and the nature of different communication mediums. In a face-to-face conversation (or phone call), you say hello, wait for...

    This is the crux of it. It's a collision of an existing social ritual and the nature of different communication mediums.

    In a face-to-face conversation (or phone call), you say hello, wait for response, then begin the actual conversation.

    In email, the expectation is that the other person will probably not read it immediately, like a physical letter. So the composition of the email/letter includes one entire side of a conversation including greeting, actual content, and salutation.

    Chat is actually a hybrid of the two, which leads to the mixing of expectations we see in this thread. Chat can be both synchronous and asynchronous, depending on what each party is doing. This is why it's so useful. Moving from an async conversation to real-time is seamless and requires no additional action or effort from either side other than to keep responding.

    As a result, the social norms for both live conversation and letter/email writing can be applicable. The trouble is it's difficult to tell what mode you're going to be in when you start the interaction in a chat application.

    4 votes
  11. Comment on What are your “Flowerbox Indicators”? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
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    Someone saying "I don't know" - and nobody gives them a single ounce of flak for it, but instead helping them fill in the gaps in their knowledge. It demonstrates that the person has some...
    • Someone saying "I don't know" - and nobody gives them a single ounce of flak for it, but instead helping them fill in the gaps in their knowledge. It demonstrates that the person has some humility, but it also demonstrates that they trust their team to help them.
    • People helping people outside their role (small things, not foisting chunks of work onto other people)
    • Someone seeing a piece of desk decor and stopping to talk about it with someone they have no other reason to talk to
    • "Artifacts" - whiteboard art that never get erased, stuff from a conference/meeting/party that for some reason hang around and people actively object if someone tries to throw it away.
    • An office "totem" (there's a better word for this but I can't recall it). In one place, this was a small gong you rang when you finished a larger programming task. In another office it was a plastic duck everyone shot nerf darts at. Important part is it's involved in some sort of social ritual
    14 votes
  12. Comment on Can anyone help me narrow down the definition of "gaslighting" to better make sense of it as a concept? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    I think it's similar, but I personally wouldn't describe it as gaslighting. Palpatine is manipulating Anakin, but he's doing so by making him question the intentions of other people, rather than...

    I think it's similar, but I personally wouldn't describe it as gaslighting. Palpatine is manipulating Anakin, but he's doing so by making him question the intentions of other people, rather than an observable fact.

    Both involve lying, but I think it doesn't qualify as gaslighting unless Palaptine where to offer up something that could be directly disproved. Such as "I heard Jedi Master Bob say XXX", which is a provable fact. Or "remembering" things that didn't actually happen, and questioning why Anakin doesn't also "remember" them. As opposed to offering up a warped interpretation of the Jedi's words and actions.

    5 votes
  13. Comment on Can anyone help me narrow down the definition of "gaslighting" to better make sense of it as a concept? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    I agree, it's worth pointing out that this is somehow both the same and yet at the same time worse. I think this is what angers me about so much of Trump's behavior. It's not that he lied, or did...

    I agree, it's worth pointing out that this is somehow both the same and yet at the same time worse.

    I think this is what angers me about so much of Trump's behavior. It's not that he lied, or did any number of shady things. It's that the unspoken social contract that I was operating under was broken when he was exposed and nothing happened to him. Over. And Over. And Over.

    7 votes
  14. Comment on Can anyone help me narrow down the definition of "gaslighting" to better make sense of it as a concept? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    I think this is probably the most succinct definition. It's one person using a combination of lying, sowing doubt, and abusing authority to make someone else question their own perception of...

    In particular they call out his remark that "What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening."

    I'd argue that even this is not exactly in line with the original usage. While Trump is trying to muddy the waters of fact and fiction and sow doubt among those who will not seek out the truth, I think of gaslighting as trying to make someone doubt their own credibility/mental faculties.

    I think this is probably the most succinct definition. It's one person using a combination of lying, sowing doubt, and abusing authority to make someone else question their own perception of reality. The originating example illustrates this in a very literal fashion: the lamps are unquestionably and objectively getting dimmer. But the husband convinces the wife that her perception of reality is wrong.

    So it's more than just lying, it's using lies and other tactics to warp someone's perceptions so much that they doubt their own ability to correctly perceive something. The really insidious part of gaslighting is that the goal isn't necessarily to convince someone of something that isn't true. Getting someone to question their own perception of reality leaves them confused and looking for direction, which leaves them open to being directed by someone else. The other key part of gaslighting is that the abuser also sets themselves up as an authority figure or trustworthy figure. So when someone is looking for that help and direction, the abuser also conveniently has all the answers.

    9 votes
  15. Comment on What are some good informative or educational shows? in ~tv

    Omnicrola
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    Not a show, but a good documentary: My Octopus Teacher The guy went freediving every day for a year, following the life of this single octopus. He actually gets to the point where it recognizes...

    Not a show, but a good documentary: My Octopus Teacher

    A filmmaker forges an unusual friendship with an octopus living in a South African kelp forest, learning as the animal shares the mysteries of her world.

    The guy went freediving every day for a year, following the life of this single octopus. He actually gets to the point where it recognizes him and will interact with him. It was a really fascinating look at a creature that is both intelligent, and is infrequently in proximity humans so we don't hear about them like we do land animals.

    5 votes
  16. Comment on Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, champion of gender equality, dies at eighty-seven in ~news

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    I think this is the capstone nightmare scenario, in a year of nightmare scenarios. It's like the universe has a writers room, and we're in the script where they just utterly fuck up the characters...

    But that also poses an interesting question - what could be a more appropriate result of this election than both Democrats and Republicans claiming victory? A hung 4/4 supreme court ruling on the election results. At this point 2020 is straight up pranking us.

    I think this is the capstone nightmare scenario, in a year of nightmare scenarios. It's like the universe has a writers room, and we're in the script where they just utterly fuck up the characters as a writing exercise, except it accidentally got put in the "reality" bin instead of the trash bin.

    5 votes
  17. Comment on Weekly coronavirus-related chat, questions, and minor updates - week of September 14 in ~health.coronavirus

    Omnicrola
    Link
    Kenya Braced For The Worst. The Worst Didn't Happen. Why?

    Kenya Braced For The Worst. The Worst Didn't Happen. Why?

    They went from a peak of more than 600 cases a day in August to fewer than 100 the past three days.

    The first wave of COVID-19 has seemingly come and gone with fewer than expected deaths — just over 600 — leaving many baffled.

    South Africa's department of health also announced that early studies have shown that about 29% to 40% of South Africans have already been exposed to the virus.

    3 votes
  18. Comment on Why is your pet the best pet? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    That's to bad, I understand though. Give them a pet from me instead.

    That's to bad, I understand though. Give them a pet from me instead.

    3 votes
  19. Comment on Phosphine discovered in Venus' atmosphere, which could be evidence of microbial life in ~space

    Omnicrola
    Link Parent
    Found this article from Dec 2019 on MITs website about the same subject: https://news.mit.edu/2019/phosphine-aliens-stink-1218 Different authors in a different journal, but it appears to be the...

    Found this article from Dec 2019 on MITs website about the same subject: https://news.mit.edu/2019/phosphine-aliens-stink-1218

    Different authors in a different journal, but it appears to be the same subject. Definitely something that warrants ongoing study and research papers.

    3 votes
  20. Comment on Why is your pet the best pet? in ~talk

    Omnicrola
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    Oh please share some pictures of this, that's adorable.

    The other day I bought him a rubber chicken and he treats it like his wife.

    Oh please share some pictures of this, that's adorable.

    3 votes