ohyran's recent activity

  1. Comment on Polygamy is rare around the world and mostly confined to a few regions, but is slowly being more widely accepted in ~lgbt

    ohyran
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    Good! I mean it will make stuff a bit weird during dating as more variations of what a relationship should look like crop up, but thats why we have vocal cords. Plus it doesn't harm anyone so,...

    Good! I mean it will make stuff a bit weird during dating as more variations of what a relationship should look like crop up, but thats why we have vocal cords.
    Plus it doesn't harm anyone so, awesome sauce.

    2 votes
  2. Comment on Chris Pine to star in ‘Dungeons & Dragons’ movie in ~movies

    ohyran
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    I would argue that that is "RPG's" not "D&D" but yeah...

    I would argue that that is "RPG's" not "D&D" but yeah...

  3. Comment on Three digit suicide prevention hotline gets green light from House of Commons in ~health

    ohyran
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    This is one of those overlooked things when it comes to depression and suicide - its not the person making a clear headed choice its a chemical imbalance as devastating and impactful on...

    (Funny what a small chemical imbalance can do to your head.)

    This is one of those overlooked things when it comes to depression and suicide - its not the person making a clear headed choice its a chemical imbalance as devastating and impactful on decision-making as say a broken leg is to walking.

    Since most of us will never suffer from that level of depression etc, its hard to fathom how cruelly it can strike and how terrifyingly effective it can be tweaking our behaviour towards ways that goes counter to what we actually need or want.

    Awesome comment and <3 to you and your areas mental health care resources

    1 vote
  4. Comment on Three digit suicide prevention hotline gets green light from House of Commons in ~health

    ohyran
    Link Parent
    Well suicide is kind of odd because its not an active thing like that. It sneaks up on you and can be like you start, as a way to mellow yourself out think about suicide, then as a way to break...

    Well suicide is kind of odd because its not an active thing like that. It sneaks up on you and can be like you start, as a way to mellow yourself out think about suicide, then as a way to break out of a dread cycle you start fantasizing about it and thinking about how and when, then you start preparing for it - not that you WANT to but as a sort of "just thinking about it makes me less depressed" and then you are drawn to the place.

    The action is impulsive, any hindrance, no matter how small - any detail that can block you or snap you out of it in that very moment - often work. Those phones on bridges? The signs with the numbers? Or the fences that are just a teeny tiny bit higher - they cut down suicide attempts by massive amounts.
    This is also why guns are so damn dangerous when you're depressed or suicidal as they provide an easy to use snap decision driven device to commit suicide. A quick point and click with no point of "thinking about it", nothing that gives you that extra second to really mull it over again that stops your from doing it.

    Most suicides are very much snap decisions that have been planned, if that makes sense. You prepare yourself towards it but not really considering doing it for real, but doing it is a moments impulse.

    Also if you are in any way at that point where you are thinking about the where's, the when's and the hows you would commit suicide - call someone today. If its a parent, a close friend, a doctor, doesn't matter.
    (here if you are suicidal you get a mental health professional and psychologist assigned within a few days if you call them and tell them that - and they will if you need to make sure you get in contact with one within a minute if needed)
    Its usually only when you sit there on the phone and they ask you "Have you thought a lot about suicide? Have you planned for it?" that you realize just how close to it you are.

    3 votes
  5. Comment on LFG (Looking For Group) Thread: Play games with other folks on Tildes in ~games

    ohyran
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    Oh good god I would LOVE to! Anyone with Steam can add me here https://steamcommunity.com/id/ohyrans/ just ping me to tell me who you are (I play basically just CSGO but wanna play Among Us with...

    Oh good god I would LOVE to! Anyone with Steam can add me here https://steamcommunity.com/id/ohyrans/ just ping me to tell me who you are (I play basically just CSGO but wanna play Among Us with tilderinoos)

    3 votes
  6. Comment on <deleted topic> in ~talk

    ohyran
    (edited )
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    Child, never tell me you're sorry for venting at me or I will slap you to sleep. We're humans, you're not venting - you're talking and you talking to me/with me is something I and all other humans...

    Sorry for venting like this... for some reason writing this out for some strangers on the internet is what I decided will help me fall asleep tonight.

    Child, never tell me you're sorry for venting at me or I will slap you to sleep. We're humans, you're not venting - you're talking and you talking to me/with me is something I and all other humans should be grateful for. And I have a mean right hook, you don't wanna test me on this :)

    It is a sign of anxiety if you can't let go at nights. We all think about these things, but when these thoughts impede on your sleep and your life, you should seek out professional help. Not because there is anything wrong with you, but because it might make shit easier for you, which is why shrinks and therapists exist. They are plumbers and even if your mental toilet isn't backed up, its being kinda finicky so might as well have it checked over now.

    The most important step, the one that has helped me more than anything is skipping shame and talking to people IRL. They will be clumsy at trying to help (like me threatening violence tbh ;) ) but they will do it out of care and love for you. Let your pride go for a second, either by saying to a friend or a family member "Can I talk to you and we pretend afterwards we never did have this talk?" (seriously try it, it works) - and tell them.
    Your friends will try to hook you up with morons, drag you to annoying spinning classes and send you self-help nonsense but they will do it because they love you. Your granddad will try to tell you annecdotes about when he was young that doesn't make sense - but its because they care. So, at the end you may not overcome them that night, but as time goes by - by stripping shame out of the equation, by adding the care of others - you will overcome it.

    (as for being single, ask a friend to help you set up a dating profile, pick pictures and text - have some drinks while you do it, make it a fun event - it works too)

    EDIT: me and my mother had a "no shame talk" a decade back and it was... it was brilliant. It taught me that its when I try to keep things secret that they become issues, when I casually tell them they become strengths. It's like coming out when you're gay - if you just off hand say "Oh no, BOY-friend not girlfriend" that it becomes non-consequential if you make it a big dramatic production of secrets it starts fekking you over.

    EDIT 2: Too much honesty edit: I came out late in life. To be honest I am a "late bloomer" (I love that term btw). Me and my husband talked about a summer night when we where 17. He was out doing drugs, dancing at a club in the town we live in now, then having sex with some random people (plural, yes I know o.O). We think it was the same night I will always have etched in my mind when I rolled up a holy avenger magical sword on the loot table in DnD and walked through my hometown of Stockholm at dawn feeling like I was the king of the world. Sometimes I wish I was him, back then. Then I remember I am not, and regret for what was is just impeding the person I am now. See tonight I will have sex with the cool dude who would have beaten the shit out of me in high school. Sometimes I like to pretend that I could have lived out my teens and 20's not being terrified of what I was. Not feeling shame every second of every day. Then I remember that that was then, this is now. What I did yesterday can't be changed, but what I do tomorrow morning, can. Sure I didn't experience sex until comparatively late in life. And when that happened it was sex I had because I thought I should have (straight sex) that just made me feel sad and lonely and horrid. But now... oooof. I may be older and maybe it would be cool if I was still 20 (if you're in your 20's you are way hotter than you think btw) but that was then, this is now. I can make up for lost time, and so can you young person.

    Me and my husband we met ... 14 years ago? 13? because my sister helped me write up a dating profile and took pictures. (not naughty ones, just flattering ones). She went "you can't say that you sound like a serial killer" while she chugged back wine and laughed at me. The reason I call her sister, while we're not related - is probably partly due to that evening. So allow yourself to let go of shame, ask your friends. Allow yourself to look foolish, allow yourself to be laughed WITH. It helps trust me <3

    5 votes
  7. Comment on Cyberpunk 2077 epileptic PSA in ~games

    ohyran
    Link Parent
    Not suffering from epilepsy myself (my dad did which was scary AF but luckily that gene skipped me), but isn't all games a risk? And I realize that you feel that way, and not saying you shouldn't...

    Not suffering from epilepsy myself (my dad did which was scary AF but luckily that gene skipped me), but isn't all games a risk? And I realize that you feel that way, and not saying you shouldn't (because fuck me, I don't know what its like having a seizure, just what it looks like), but a patch or two down the line with it being tested? Wouldn't it be ok then?

    Again, not trying to be a dick - but trying to be supportive in a "come on, we can both enjoy it!" in some weird way ... (no I don't know what that means either but your last sentence made me sad and I guess I am trying to "magically fix it" which is dumb but there we are <3)

    4 votes
  8. Comment on Cyberpunk 2077 epileptic PSA in ~games

    ohyran
    Link Parent
    See this kind of thing rocks. I know we all assume it should be fixed at launch or whatever - but the reality is that we all live here in this world and we only see the norm and beyond that is an...

    See this kind of thing rocks. I know we all assume it should be fixed at launch or whatever - but the reality is that we all live here in this world and we only see the norm and beyond that is an effort that can easily be missed.

    It doesn't mean they are better than they have to, just good enough. Someone brings up an issue and they realize that it should be on them so they try to patch it. Until then they try to make a warning.

    2 votes
  9. Comment on What issues or aspects of life are largely one's personal responsibility to deal with? in ~talk

    ohyran
    (edited )
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    (I started writing but got sidetracked and realized I didn't feel comfortable posting my opinions on this subject here in their totality as its a lot of different topics in one. It contained a lot...

    (I started writing but got sidetracked and realized I didn't feel comfortable posting my opinions on this subject here in their totality as its a lot of different topics in one. It contained a lot of different things and since I am kinda hammered I shorted it to this wall of text, sry)

    In general I believe that you're responsible for yourself. The woodstove example that @monarda posted for example has a clear answer. Monarda is cold, they can either ask their partners or house mates to help, do it themselves, or not. If they freeze after that its totally and absolutely on them.
    Mental health is a social issue but like many social issues the strength lies in communicating it. My husband doesn't know I feel rejected unless I tell him. When I tell him he can react to it, until I do he can't.

    We're all handed shitty cards. This world is dark and brutal and life is grim, cruel and short. All we have as individuals are tiny sparks of brightness - we can't carry the world on our shoulders and sometimes the weight of just our own miseries are too fekking heavy for us. But we have one thing that separates us from all other species: communication.
    The horrid part is that we are not allowed to talk about things that should be talked about. Mental health, sex, empathy and all the fleshy nasty bits of human reality. Any time someone says "Oh thats a topic for another time" what they are saying is that you're not allowed to talk about it and that you should, if you do, suffer alone. Screw those people.

    Talking and communicating is the bridge that ties us together. That lets me feel reflected in you and vice versa. That combines the sparks we have to a bonfire to guide others towards us. And its not about "truth" or similar decorative moralistic fantasies, its about being there, listening, talking and communicating. I can lie to someones face to save them, or tell the truth to drown them. It all depends on my ability to empathize and see myself in them and change my communication to what is the best for that moment.
    So for example explaining the sensation of agoraphobia to someone doesn't help. They don't understand because its my brain who doesn't work right. But explaining that I am scared and panicked due to it, if they are empathetic means they will try to help - changing their communications and actions to better fit me.

    Our responsibility is trying to do the best we can for others, to listen to others, to communicate with others and see ourselves reflected in them and do the best we can for them based on that. If you and another is in a boat that sinks saving yourself means being alone with yourself, saving the other means dooming them to that same isolation - its only together you can truly call yourselves saved.

    I'm gay that means I have had to listen to strange questions all my life. I can either pretend that this isn't my job, or accept that it is since I am human and slightly different than what is normal. By communicating ("no there isn't a man/woman in me and my husbands relationship" or "no I don't eat fesces, thats a totally different thing and not what it means to be gay" or "why doesn't my girlfriend want to go down on me? You're a cocksucker, can't you explain?" <--- actual questions) I let others reflect themselves in me, and me in them.
    My responsibility isn't to teach them, but to be a part of them. They asking isn't a rejection of me, but the opposite - a wish to understand me. If responsibility is a task of one, carried out for the benefit of another - this would be a cruel logic that I should have to teach them. But if it is just communication, a bridge - it is bigger and more complex than that - its making us both human in each others eyes and a task handled by both.

    That, our communication, our ability to tell others our frailties, our miseries, our faults, with good intent and hoping for the same back - seeing the human in them, and hoping they see the human in you, is at the end all we have.

    So in short: responsibility as an adult is trying to make the best you can in an imperfect world with imperfect tools for it, communicate with others to seek help and see the human in them and they in you, to extend your responsibility to them as they do to you. To share the tools each of you have. And sometimes you have to go beyond that.

    EDIT: A thread called "Faggots answer straight peoples questions" should be a thing on Tildes :D (seriously I have talked about anal sex with straight dudes too many times and it should be written down somewhere instead of having to be repeated (although in fairness I kind of enjoy the discussions because it amazes me that a straight man can ask that question in a world of toxic masculinity and in so doing breaking slightly kinda free from it which is cool - although I once had to explain how to do pegging right to a couple, that was even more interesting in that regard)

    4 votes
  10. Comment on Cyberpunk 2077: What do you think? in ~games

    ohyran
    Link Parent
    Same with me! Need to figure how and when though.

    Same with me! Need to figure how and when though.

  11. Comment on An honest question about gender, sexuality, and the LGBTQ+ community in ~lgbt

    ohyran
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    I've dated a person who considered themselves a "dude" at the time and now doesn't. Their physical gender was that of a man, being gay means that is totally my jam. I've also dated guys who where...

    My previous partners have all been women, with the exception of one who identified as female when we were dating, and my current partner is non-binary but female-presenting and has identified as such the entirety of the time we have been dating.

    I've dated a person who considered themselves a "dude" at the time and now doesn't. Their physical gender was that of a man, being gay means that is totally my jam. I've also dated guys who where femme - but still guys - and slept with one who where gender nonconforming. Doesn't change my intentions and preferences.

    As for straightness or gayness or bi-ness or whatever - its all up to that person to define. We all round up a bit as a convenience to define us, so whatever you prefer is up to you. If your non-binary partner is attracting to you due to their female qualities or whatever that could mean your straight, if so "awesome". If not "awesome".

    I've never and probably will never feel fear or be oppressed based on my sexuality. I dunno. I just feel really weird. like I'm inserting myself into a community I've always identified as an ally of but been an outsider to.

    I'm a middle aged Swedish faggot, I don't fear oppression from my sexuality 99.9% of my life. If me and my husband travel abroad, or its late night and we meet a large group of young dudes etc... maybe we worry (and we obviously dodge going on vacation to places where we would be at risk) but no one gets upset that we're faggots. So I don't feel oppressed for being gay, but still I am one, and therefore part of the LGBTQ community in some aspect.

    You don't have to be either. If you are straight, be a part of it. If they are being dicks about it and playing some kind of "well you can never understand because you are" well screw those people. They want a clubhouse, not an equal rights movement.
    (sidenote: I don't know how it is where you live, or how old you are - but here a young man going "I guess I'm straight" is hot AF, not just sexually but socially. It's like wearing a "LGBTQ ally" sign over your head - that "I guess" means that you don't care)

    The LGBTQ community can have spaces where I am not welcome, for good reason. Lesbians might have say a thing about "being a lesbian" something I have no fekking clue what that is about, being a dude. Or clubs, like a bar. I don't go there because the focus isn't for me. So they might wanna be on their own. That doesn't mean I am not part of the LGBTQ community.

    I'm probably older than you, so this is my "ok boomer" take on this - but I wouldn't stress it. You're good. Wanna go to some meeting for LGBTQ people? Go for it. Whatever you land on, don't stress it. The thing with all the flags at pride isn't that we all need to know wtf they mean, or be able to sort people under them, but to make a plethora so wide so colourful that we can all fit under them.
    (I don't mind not knowing the different variations common now - since the vast majority of people who do know don't mind explaining and the small minority of idiots who think having to explain is some kind of oppression are slowly shrinking in to nothing luckily)

    Also, not a spokesperson for the LGBTQ community obviously - but if someone whines about you being "too straight" screw those people. They are pointless. If their sexuality is the only thing left to cling to in lieu of a personality they might want to defend and define others in to a relation to it - they may want to exclude others based on it because that is all they have. But in fact they are just redundant.

    7 votes
  12. Comment on Authorities in Boise, Idaho are investigating after the only Anne Frank memorial in the US was defaced with swastika stickers in ~news

    ohyran
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    Seems like they could be homeprinted tbh. Usually smaller groups make some extra scratch selling stickers and similar merch

    Seems like they could be homeprinted tbh. Usually smaller groups make some extra scratch selling stickers and similar merch

    1 vote
  13. Comment on Cyberpunk 2077: What do you think? in ~games

    ohyran
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    I wanna play Among Us sometime this christmas holiday with Tilderinoos and Friends.

    I wanna play Among Us sometime this christmas holiday with Tilderinoos and Friends.

    3 votes
  14. Comment on First beta of Krita 4.4.2 in ~comp

    ohyran
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    Best art app is getting a bit better. Mostly because about the nice little slight against Photoshop :)

    Best art app is getting a bit better. Mostly because about the nice little slight against Photoshop :)

    W, that enabled Krita’s Wraparound mode, one of the features Adobe copied this year for the next release of Photoshop.

    1 vote
  15. Comment on Former Israeli space security chief claims an alien "Galactic Federation" has been in contact with humanity for years, but are keeping themselves a secret to prevent hysteria until humanity is ready in ~space

  16. Comment on Share a link to a song that tells a story in ~music

    ohyran
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    Also the folk song/poem "BlueBird av Hull" - sung by Sofia Karlsson needs to be added, although it makes ZERO sense if you're not Swedish/Nordic or for that matter know the role of Swedes/Nordics...

    Also the folk song/poem "BlueBird av Hull" - sung by Sofia Karlsson needs to be added, although it makes ZERO sense if you're not Swedish/Nordic or for that matter know the role of Swedes/Nordics in European/American seafearing in the 19th century where many considered us expendable but incredibly skilled seafarers.

    Basically its about a young Swedish boy working as a sailor on a English boat named Blue Bird and it is set to go towards his home town where they meet a storm. So the order is set "tie the swede to the helm" (to ride out the storm). The boy sees lights from the harbour and tells his shipmates to abandon ship because he thinks his father is setting out to save them.

    Then there is a cut in the lyrics where the shipwrecked, salvaged are in the cabin of the boy Karl Stranne's fathers boat.

    Starting from here in the song
    "It was Stranne the elder, a viking an eagle
    Who during christmas 1872 took vodka out of his liqour cabinet to give to the shipwrecked
    "How was the name of the boat?", he asked and poured nine shots of vodka in pointy glasses.
    "The Brigg Blue Bird" the tenth glass he took and he smashed it to the floor
    "Did you say Blue Bird, captain? The Brigg BlueBird out of Hull? God in heaven, where is my son?"

    It ends where Stranne the elder begs the captain to spare the boys mother this christmas and never divulge the name of the boat when they get to harbour and the captain explains "Karl was tied to the helm, and abandoned on board".

    Its sort of one those "it doesn't matter how burly of a mans-man you are, if you don't cry you're not a man enough" kind of songs :)

    The fact that it starts with "Karl Stranne was tied to the helm of Blue Bird who was fated to wreck" - ooooof.

    EDIT: and now I'm crying.

    EDIT: found the English Translation of the Lyrics

    EDIT 3: the translation in the link isn't very exact and more goes for some rhytmic poetry - so it loses some nuances which of course is to be expected. Also side note "To give a guest something for free" doesn't have an English equivalent as a word I noticed just now. Karl Stranne doesn't give the shipwrecked men booze, he "gives them it for free as a host" implied that they are on his boat.
    Also the younger Karl Stranne is also very very explicit about where they are and he doesn't ask them to set out boats, but to "blossa" and that he spots a boat at leeward ("båt i lä") so that they can jump ship and get salvaged without the boats.
    The song is filled with boat references combined with Swenglish styled English to represent the English Captain. ("Allright Boys, lös av" "lös av" being "swap positions" ish)

    EDIT 2000: This is where they are at, Smögen in an area of Sweden which is sort of Sweden/Norway at the shores of Skagerrak/Kattegatt a notoriously stormy sea.

    3 votes
  17. Comment on Share a link to a song that tells a story in ~music

    ohyran
    Link Parent
    Seriously check out "Hear Chinese" on the same album its a horror story about an old golddigger who lives in Weaverville in San Francisco and decided to give himself one more chance to strike it...

    Seriously check out "Hear Chinese" on the same album its a horror story about an old golddigger who lives in Weaverville in San Francisco and decided to give himself one more chance to strike it rich by "Digging until I find gold or hear Chinese" and then down in the darkness he meets the ghosts of abandoned Chinese miners. The line "I hollered a hearty 'howdy' but a bunch of 'ni hao' echoed up around me" is just chef kiss

    2 votes
  18. Comment on Share a link to a song that tells a story in ~music

    ohyran
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    Historian Himself - Omens The whole album is in itself a wonderful Cthulhu Mythos meets Late 19th / Early 20th Century Americana and Rap.

    Historian Himself - Omens

    The whole album is in itself a wonderful Cthulhu Mythos meets Late 19th / Early 20th Century Americana and Rap.

    2 votes
  19. Comment on Operation Broken Fang; Major CSGO update adds Map vetoes, Retakes servers, Detailed stat tracking in ~games

    ohyran
    Link Parent
    We did a run through of the matches we played using some chrome extension (one of us did) where you can check past opponents and if they have been VAC banned and there are insane bumps at times so...

    We did a run through of the matches we played using some chrome extension (one of us did) where you can check past opponents and if they have been VAC banned and there are insane bumps at times so I am guessing we're currently in such a bump.

    Some claim that certain levels are more commonly populated by cheaters as the accounts they run simply stack in to either first-run (Upper Silver) and then the level bump many cheaters can achieve and plateu at (cheats that are hard to detect rely on some skill from the player meaning that often you can still win against them). So might be that the rank we are around, DMG, is sort of filled. Combined with christmas holidays, Covid restrictions, and on and on - plus a dollop of bad luck... well there we are.

    For those not playing CSGO, here are the Skill Ranks mentioned above

    2 votes