monarda's recent activity
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Comment on Cold-weather vegan recipes in ~food
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Comment on Digital Detox discussion: November 2026 in ~life
monarda LinkStill thinking about how I use the digital world to distract from living, but I also started thinking about how in some important ways it makes me lazy. It sort of preps me to expect things to be...Still thinking about how I use the digital world to distract from living, but I also started thinking about how in some important ways it makes me lazy. It sort of preps me to expect things to be fast and easy, and then when things aren’t, I lose momentum. So I think for this month, I’m going to work on completing something. I have several things in mind to choose from. Finishing my resume, make it easier to use my little wood splitter, rearranging some furniture and getting rid of large pieces I don’t have room for, or finally make that photo album for my mom I’ve been talking about. The thing is I’ve spent a lot of time “researching” a lot of these things. I’ve reached resume writing to death. I’ve looked at tons of photos and write ups on how people set up their little wood splitters for making easy kindling. I’ve looked into so many organization systems. And people do really cool things with photo albums these days! But what I want is for it to be perfectly matched to what I have. Step by step instructions for what I’m working with so I don’t have to think lol.
Everything but the photo album should be able to be completed within a weekend.
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Comment on Has anyone here experienced a tv show slump? in ~tv
monarda LinkFor me, I like tv to be down time where I don’t have to think about much and I can unwind. Serialized shows don’t really allow me to do that, and most of the new stuff is serialized. I’ve played...For me, I like tv to be down time where I don’t have to think about much and I can unwind. Serialized shows don’t really allow me to do that, and most of the new stuff is serialized. I’ve played out most of the older episodic tv to where it no longer interests me. It’s not that serialized television does not engage me, it’s that it feels like a commitment and there’s no fucking ending. And then I get like 6-10 episodes, I’m left on a cliffhanger, and by the time the next season comes, two years later for many of them if they even come at all, I don’t even remember what’s going on. Usually I’ll watch the last season or seasons, which is a commitment, and I just can’t be bothered. I want to go back to the days of 20 something episodes, with months between seasons, maybe an arc, but each episode being watchable without having to know everything that came before it. I’m finding shows to be work, which is not what I want from television. So that’s why I’m losing interest in television.
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Comment on Popcorn! What's the best way to make it? in ~food
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Comment on Popcorn! What's the best way to make it? in ~food
monarda Link ParentSo I’m buying a whirley pop. Would you suggest the nylon or metal gears?So I’m buying a whirley pop. Would you suggest the nylon or metal gears?
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Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
monarda LinkI’ve been out of town for five weeks. I spent almost a month of that in Italy, and the rest of it in the small town I was born in. I got home late Thursday night, and I feel conflicted. I enjoyed...I’ve been out of town for five weeks. I spent almost a month of that in Italy, and the rest of it in the small town I was born in. I got home late Thursday night, and I feel conflicted. I enjoyed the trip, I enjoyed being with my mom, and honestly could see myself living in Italy the rest of my life. But I missed my spouse and friends a great deal and am happy to be home. But OMG our house is a disaster. I’m overwhelmed with how much needs to be done just to be comfortable. I want to be mad at my spouse, but they made me pineapple upside down cake, my favorite.
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Comment on Timasomo 2026: Week 2 Updates in ~creative.timasomo
monarda LinkI’ll finally be home late tomorrow night. I don’t think I’ll have time to do the wood project I had wanted to do for this, so I’m changing my project. I’m going to make a picture frame for a...I’ll finally be home late tomorrow night. I don’t think I’ll have time to do the wood project I had wanted to do for this, so I’m changing my project. I’m going to make a picture frame for a touristy painting I bought on my vacation. I’ve helped make a frame before but never made one myself, and I think it might be something I can get done before this is over.
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Comment on What was a small but bright moment of your day? in ~life
monarda Link ParentAnytime I see cormorants getting love, it makes my day. Thank you for this! What a wonderful experience :)Anytime I see cormorants getting love, it makes my day. Thank you for this! What a wonderful experience :)
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (October 2026) in ~health.mental
monarda Link ParentI don’t have any advice, but wanted to stop by and commiserate with you for a short bit. It’s awful going through physical things and not knowing if there’s something wrong or not and having to go...I don’t have any advice, but wanted to stop by and commiserate with you for a short bit.
It’s awful going through physical things and not knowing if there’s something wrong or not and having to go back and forth to the ER and doctors especially when we can’t afford to do so. I sometimes think, regarding myself, that not knowing if I should go see someone or if I’m just experiencing anxiety gives me more anxiety which makes me feel worse!
I hope you find answers.
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Comment on Timasomo 2026: Roll Call in ~creative.timasomo
monarda Link ParentI hear you! It took me about 40 years to find this. I thought it would never happen!I hear you! It took me about 40 years to find this. I thought it would never happen!
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Comment on Digital Detox (formerly Screenless Day) discussion: October 2026 in ~life
monarda LinkIve participated in two “screenless” days here on tildes. The second time, last month, went a lot better than the first one a few years prior. The three biggest reasons I think last month was...Ive participated in two “screenless” days here on tildes. The second time, last month, went a lot better than the first one a few years prior. The three biggest reasons I think last month was easier was because I knew what to expect, I took steps to set myself up for success, and I’m a different person than I was then.
I think in general though, I engage differently in the digital world. For many years I participated in infinite scrolling and games. At some point I realized I could no longer read books. I no longer had attention span for anything long form. This really bothered me because I remembered my love for books, but couldn’t read more than a chapter two if I tried to read one.
The other thing that changed is that my views towards other humans began changing dramatically. I had less tolerance and less love and more anger and more hopelessness. I guess I was old enough to remember that this wasn’t who I had always thought I was. The first real clue that the way I used the internet might be the culprit was around 2018 when I was commuting through homeless encampments and felt disgust towards the people I passed. I had no compassion. At the time my local subreddit talked about them all the time, and I had this feeling one day that the tone in the subreddit didn’t match what I thought about our city and that my views had changed to match this new tone. I started looking into the names that posted most often and realized that many of them didn’t even live in my city. And then I felt so much shame that I had succumbed to whatever their purpose of engagement was. I didn’t even see it happening to me!
These two things began changing how I interact with the digital world. I no longer participate in infinite scrolling, I rarely play games that are not of the “daily” variety, and I only engage in news a few times a month. That doesn’t mean I don’t find other ways to distract myself with a screen! But I think giving up the big ones (big for me anyway), has given me more opportunity to take advantage of things that are not of the digital variety. I don’t always take advantage of this, but I’d like to do so more than I do.
Last month this event went better than I could imagine. I was able to see that I can be without digital distraction. I look forward to getting more practice this month.
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Comment on Timasomo 2026: Roll Call in ~creative.timasomo
monarda LinkI work for a retired furniture and cabinet maker who keeps telling me I can use the shop for any personal projects. Earlier this year I bought an antique tiger oak desk. My husband had the great...I work for a retired furniture and cabinet maker who keeps telling me I can use the shop for any personal projects. Earlier this year I bought an antique tiger oak desk. My husband had the great idea that the television could go on it and I could use it as one of my monitors. I should not have listened, the tv is a monster. I’d like to make something in the same style as the desk, that sits on top of it, that the tv can be up and out of the way and the monitors under it. I don’t know what the name of that something is, just what I want it to look like. I don’t have much furniture making experience, but my boss is willing to show me how. I’m super excited for this project!
Most likely my project is going to be late because I’m currently in a different country until mid October, but I will show my work, however far I am, when show ands tell comes up.
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Comment on Men arrested on suspicion of explosives offences near US air base in Britain following "major incident" in ~news
monarda Link ParentI’ve liked your comments in this thread. I did not find them cold, I found them mostly clinical while also alluding to how how you thought about such things. That is a skill I appreciate when...I’ve liked your comments in this thread. I did not find them cold, I found them mostly clinical while also alluding to how how you thought about such things. That is a skill I appreciate when talking about things that can quickly go into the horrific. Thank you for posting.
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Comment on Screenless Day discussion topic: September 2026 in ~life
monarda Link ParentI had that too, though it seemed to get easier as the day wore on. I also felt good about having gone through the day, like it did something for my self esteem having accomplished it.I think the biggest challenge was the force of habit. I found myself picking up my phone, staring at it for a moment, then remembering that there's nowhere on it for me to go for the day. I have an almost pathological need to distract myself from many things, and the phone has been an easy salve.
I had that too, though it seemed to get easier as the day wore on. I also felt good about having gone through the day, like it did something for my self esteem having accomplished it.
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Comment on Screenless Day discussion topic: September 2026 in ~life
monarda Link ParentI enjoyed the blog post and how thoughtful you were in describing the experience. At the end you synthesized what I sensed during my day but have not been able to coalesce: Perfectly said. Thank...I enjoyed the blog post and how thoughtful you were in describing the experience. At the end you synthesized what I sensed during my day but have not been able to coalesce:
And now that I've pondered it for a couple of weeks, sat with it, and finally written it out, I realise that actually it is really simple: intentionality. Using screens, like any other technology, is not inherently bad. What matters is the intention behind it. The moment we no longer feel in control, when our higher intention is supplanted by baser chemical feedback loops that these devices and their software exploit, that's when it feels bad. Not a moral bad; a physical and mental sense of wrongness, restlessness, and shame. I am not a bad person for having and using a phone, laptop, tablet, video game console or TV. I have been made to feel bad for using these things mindlessly, and without intention. And that is what I want to change for myself.
Perfectly said. Thank you :)
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Comment on Announcing the eighth annual Tildes' Make Something Month (Timasomo)! in ~tildes
monarda Link ParentI’m in. Mine will come in late due to heavy time commitments through mid October, and I’m fairly certain I’ll need a full month to complete. Hopefully this time I’m able to actually complete...I’m in.
Mine will come in late due to heavy time commitments through mid October, and I’m fairly certain I’ll need a full month to complete. Hopefully this time I’m able to actually complete something!
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Comment on Screenless Day discussion topic: September 2026 in ~life
monarda Link ParentMost of the time I’m a joiner rather than a leader. I need a bus to get on :)Most of the time I’m a joiner rather than a leader. I need a bus to get on :)
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Comment on Screenless Day discussion topic: September 2026 in ~life
monarda Link ParentWhen you first said you accidentally picked a holiday, I thought for sure the next thing you were going to say was that you decided to skip it altogether. Glad to see I was wrong, and that it went...When you first said you accidentally picked a holiday, I thought for sure the next thing you were going to say was that you decided to skip it altogether. Glad to see I was wrong, and that it went well for you. Was there anything you found particularly challenging?
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Comment on Small talk, ice breakers, lines in ~talk
monarda Link ParentOh my goodness you almost nailed how I feel about raisins, and I didn’t even know I had a stance on raisins until I read your words. The only place I like them is in Raisin Bran. And I really...Oh my goodness you almost nailed how I feel about raisins, and I didn’t even know I had a stance on raisins until I read your words. The only place I like them is in Raisin Bran. And I really enjoy them there but nowhere else. Prior to reading about how you think about raisins, I would have just said, “they’re okay,” because I didn’t know how to articulate my raisin preferences. Thank you :)
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Comment on Screenless Day discussion topic: September 2026 in ~life
monarda Link ParentBarring the minigraine, it sounds like this worked out for you. Reading is also something I enjoy doing, but it’s not something I do as often as I’d like when I have devices at hand. I too have...Barring the minigraine, it sounds like this worked out for you. Reading is also something I enjoy doing, but it’s not something I do as often as I’d like when I have devices at hand.
I too have the toxic must do something trait, or maybe for me it’s more “I should be doing” something other than what I am currently doing. Ugh. It drives me nuts. I’ve been getting better at it though. Interestingly enough, I did not experience that third weekend.
I found this recipe, Vegan sweet potato chickpea curry , some years back and have tweaked it a lot since. Cooked as is, it’s a bit bland, so the second time I made it, I tripled all the spices except the garam masala which I doubled. I also added the spices with the oil instead of at the end. Like most curries and stews it lends itself to a lot of variation. If I don’t have sweet potatoes, I use regular potatoes. Squash works with it as well, and if you’re like me and only eat vegetables because it’s the adult thing to do, you can leave them out entirely. My favorite iteration of the recipe includes slivered almonds added near the end after a longer slow cook to mellow out the tomatoes. I’ve found this a good base recipe to experiment with (except the spices, always up the spices!).
Recently I’ve fell in love with rajma masala and found this recipe, Rajma Masala (Kidney Bean Curry) . I’ve only made it once, as written, and will make it again. If working with dried beans isn’t your thing, they state you can use canned, but you’ll need to simmer longer and it will be a bit different.