monarda's recent activity
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Comment on What's your dream job? in ~life
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Comment on Tildes Survey #5: Pineapple on pizza? (Results) in ~talk
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2026) in ~health.mental
monarda Link ParentI read something written by Larissa Pham in 2021 When I say I have a crush on you, what I’m saying is that I’m in love with the distance between us. I’m not in love with you: I don’t even know...if anyone has any advice on how to change away from this and any kind of "automatic" sexist thoughts and behaviour (does obviously apply for other oppressive behaviour like racism, etc) I'm all ears. I'll take any resources on it as I would love to be able to not be sexist, etc
I read something written by Larissa Pham in 2021
When I say I have a crush on you, what I’m saying is that I’m in love with the distance between us. I’m not in love with you: I don’t even know you. I’m in love with the escape that fantasizing about you promises.
I think it’s natural to fantasize about people. I spent a portion of my life fantasizing and/or crushing on just about anyone who gave me attention. The problem was that it often left me feeling a bit ashamed, more lonely, and more dissatisfied with my life. When I read that bit that Larissa wrote, I had this aha moment. For me it felt like the truth of it all. My fantasies and crushes had this idealized perfection to them - perfect sex, perfect relationship, perfect life. Now when I find myself starting to fantasize about someone or starting to crush on someone I insert that truth into it and make a decision on how much time I want to spend in that place if any. I tend not to want to spend the time anymore.
I’d like to add that I didn’t get from where I was to where I am in an instant. It was a gradual process, like most change.
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Comment on Anyone else a bit unnerved by the number of visible satellites? in ~space
monarda Link ParentIf you want to see the international space station pass over, NASA has an app that will alert you and tell you what direction to look and when it will pass. It looks like a star moving through the...If you want to see the international space station pass over, NASA has an app that will alert you and tell you what direction to look and when it will pass. It looks like a star moving through the night sky. Other apps can show you when satellites are going by too.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #3: What country were you born in? (Results) in ~talk
monarda Link ParentI copied the link and opened in safari. That seemed to have done the trick. I’m on mobile and generally use brave. Thank you for looking into it :)I copied the link and opened in safari. That seemed to have done the trick. I’m on mobile and generally use brave. Thank you for looking into it :)
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Comment on Tildes Survey #3: What country were you born in? (Results) in ~talk
monarda Link ParentI was able to do the the language survey, just not the two prior (countries). I was able to do age survey. I was not able to submit survey questions (the very first one). The test text input is...I was able to do the the language survey, just not the two prior (countries). I was able to do age survey. I was not able to submit survey questions (the very first one).
The test text input is stuck on submit.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #3: What country were you born in? (Results) in ~talk
monarda Link ParentI’ve not been able to participate either. Could not participate in the first one where you were lookingfor survey questions we would like to see. I could participate in the age one, but not in the...I’ve not been able to participate either. Could not participate in the first one where you were lookingfor survey questions we would like to see. I could participate in the age one, but not in the last two.
Edit: I could participate in the current survey on languages. It’s the submit button that would hang up on me.
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Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
monarda Link ParentThe good thing is that you know it’s there if you ever decide to go. It’s probably easier for me to go to the double winners meeting because I’ll probably see at least a familiar face or two, and...The good thing is that you know it’s there if you ever decide to go. It’s probably easier for me to go to the double winners meeting because I’ll probably see at least a familiar face or two, and I’ll be able to check Al-Anon out in that context instead of going to a straight Al-Anon meeting. I’ll let you know if I make that meeting. I’m sitting here seriously considering it as I plan my week. Here’s to progress!
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Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
monarda Link ParentI’m a double winner who has been trying to get up the courage to go to Al-Anon. There’s a double winner meeting about 40 minutes from where I live, but I haven’t made it there either. I do go to a...I’m a double winner who has been trying to get up the courage to go to Al-Anon. There’s a double winner meeting about 40 minutes from where I live, but I haven’t made it there either. I do go to a lot of AA meetings, which has been incredibly helpful to me beyond just the drinking problem.
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Comment on The powerhouse of American citrus is suffering a brutal, unrelenting decline in ~food
monarda Link ParentWe used to have so many varieties of oranges, grapefruits and tangerines in Florida. They just didn’t transport well. I’ve never been able to find any of the flavors I grew up with once we moved...We used to have so many varieties of oranges, grapefruits and tangerines in Florida. They just didn’t transport well. I’ve never been able to find any of the flavors I grew up with once we moved away. I’ve always considered California oranges as an inferior product and am never satisfied when I buy them (maybe there are good ones that just aren’t good for transport out of the state, but I wouldn’t know). It’s been sad watching all the groves disappear throughout the years. Since I almost always visit in winter, the first thing I used to do is buy citrus to gorge on, trying to get my fill until next time. Each year that became more and more difficult where now I don’t even try.
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Comment on Tildes Survey #1: How old are you? (Results) in ~talk
monarda Link ParentI found some of the responses you received to be overreactive and reminiscent of a high school lunch room.I found some of the responses you received to be overreactive and reminiscent of a high school lunch room.
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Comment on The Armenian Needlelace Initiative is dedicated to the study and evolution of Armenian needlelace traditions in relationship with ancestral lifeways and lands in ~arts
monarda Link ParentThe stories were more powerful than I expected. I’m glad to have read them. Thank you.The stories were more powerful than I expected. I’m glad to have read them. Thank you.
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Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 13/4/26 in ~hobbies
monarda Link ParentThis sounds really interesting! How often do you have to add water or change out the water in your various vessels?This sounds really interesting!
How often do you have to add water or change out the water in your various vessels? -
Comment on Things that don't suck in ~talk
monarda LinkThank you for this topic. It inspired me to go looking for “local news that doesn’t suck.” I found that Northwest Public Broadcasting has a news section named Solutions. I wish there were more...Thank you for this topic. It inspired me to go looking for “local news that doesn’t suck.” I found that Northwest Public Broadcasting has a news section named Solutions. I wish there were more stories under that tab, but nonetheless it’s pretty cool that it exists. I found the following article there:
Pierce county Washington has been reducing youth recidivism by offering them the ability to participate in prosocial community programs instead of a more punitive based probation model. And it’s had results.
Pierce County youth probation program cuts down on reoffenses -
Comment on Is new music dying? Everyone’s flopping. in ~music
monarda Link ParentJohn in the morning. “You are not alone.”John in the morning. “You are not alone.”
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Comment on Is new music dying? Everyone’s flopping. in ~music
monarda Link ParentI listen to KEXP which transmits in Seattle and retransmits in San Francisco as KEXC. It can also be listened to via a web browser or through their app (I recently found out I can even get their...I listen to KEXP which transmits in Seattle and retransmits in San Francisco as KEXC. It can also be listened to via a web browser or through their app (I recently found out I can even get their app on my Apple tv). They play a diverse range of music. It doesn’t always resonate with me, but I’ve found all kinds of music I never would have heard that does through them. They have real DJs playing music in real time without being beholden to commercial interests.
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Comment on Midweek Movie Free Talk in ~movies
monarda LinkI’m slowly going through the sci-fi catalogue at Tubi where the following were watched. Tales Beyond the Galaxy Sci-fi I rate this a bit above meh. It’s a series of slow moving vignettes. One I...I’m slowly going through the sci-fi catalogue at Tubi where the following were watched.
Tales Beyond the Galaxy
Sci-fi
I rate this a bit above meh. It’s a series of slow moving vignettes. One I liked, one I didn’t get, and one I didn’t like. The rest were okay. Would not watch again, but not unhappy that I watched it.Andromeda
Sci-fi
Not really sure what’s going on here, but the movie was engaging enough. For a supposed production budget of $20,000, it’s better than it ought to be. I’d be mad at the ending but there’s an Andromeda 2. I’ll refrain from judging how I feel about it until I’ve watched the second one.The Sheol Express
drama/sci-fi/fantasy short (30 min)
Odd, surreal, metaphorical? I mostly liked it. There were some crass moments I found unnecessary. -
Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 6/4/26 in ~hobbies
monarda Link ParentInvasive and noxious plants are the bane of my existence. They require diligence that I don’t always have. The US native plant, red twig dogwood (Cornus sericea) is easily propagated and colonizes...Invasive and noxious plants are the bane of my existence. They require diligence that I don’t always have. The US native plant, red twig dogwood (Cornus sericea) is easily propagated and colonizes extremely well. I’ve been propagating that, and it has finally started filling in an area that has been hard for me to keep on top of. I have hope that in another year or two, I won’t have to do much of anything in that area. If you’re in the US, the USDA has propagation protocols for most of our natives if you’re interested.
I think only one other person has commented on my name! I too loveMonarda and have tried my hand at growing many species, but they don’t do too well here. They are not native. I have noticed that other people have an easier time growing them, and I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I suspect that my property is just too wet. I gave up a few years ago, but have been thinking about trying them from seed to save money. I do so love watching the hummingbird feeding from them.
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Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 6/4/26 in ~hobbies
monarda Link ParentThat sounds really exciting! I think you’re right that some natives are better than no natives. And they should start filling in as time goes on.That sounds really exciting! I think you’re right that some natives are better than no natives. And they should start filling in as time goes on.
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Comment on Three Cheers for Tildes: App updates and feedback (March 2026) — Version 1.5 can search for posts in ~tildes
monarda Link ParentThank you! I appreciate the app and your attentiveness.Thank you! I appreciate the app and your attentiveness.
Me too!
I imagine starting the trek up a mountain in the late spring with a small pack of livestock guardian dogs, a few horses, a couple of chickens, and supplies. And just slowly moving up till it’s time to slowly move back down. Sitting in camp, checking on the flock, moving with the flow of resources, foraging, making things to barter or sell when back, recording what I see (animals, insects, plants). I could be satisfied with this sort of life.