What did you do this week (and weekend)?

I managed, that's about it.

Turned 36 recently-ish and, boy oh boy, it's like the extended warranty for my body just ended. I am putting more intentional effort into taking care of myself than I ever have, but it's becoming increasingly apparent to me that my health has some hard and soft caps that will keep me from ever being as active as I wish I could be. I'm battling an autoimmune disease, arthritis, migraines, something with my shoulder I haven't figured out yet, something with my wrist I haven't figured out yet, and some potent depression spurned on by all of this. As if that wasn't enough, I'm on suicide watch for two people I care about deeply, one of whom is a child. My dog chipped one of her canines three days ago, so that's 2.5k to take care of her, and I just found out a rehab clinic I work at for wild animals is under quarantine for an especially deadly virus that could require the entire facility be culled by Game and Fish. It's all just a lot.

But, even as I struggle through this all, I am so unbelievably privileged and I'm thankful that my privilege affords me the ability to focus on all these things without having to worry about income or family. My wife and I bought a house right before Covid and it turned out to be the single best thing that's ever happened in our life. If you had asked us when we bought it if we thought it was worth it, we'd have unequivocally said no, but you buy when you can. Wow did we dodge this absolute nightmare of a market. I'm reading Caste by Isabel Wilkerson and I'm even further reminded of the privileges I'm afforded and that helps stave off the depression.

Lately I've been trying to narrow down why I feel like utter shit most of my waking hours and more recently I've been looking into improving the quality of my non-waking hours. After having a sleep apnea test done and testing negative for sleep apnea, but still displaying symptoms of it, my ENT noticed that I have quite the deviated septum. It's something I've had pretty much all my life, but not something I'd have expected would impact my sleep quality to an appreciable degree. But, it does make sense. I've always been congested in one nostril, no matter what. I've never just had clear breathing through my nose despite primarily breathing through it. So I underwent surgery to get it corrected. I got a Septoplasty with Sub Mucosal Retention of Inferior Turbinate (ough, long title). And damn is this shit uncomfortable. First surgery I've ever had done and it's been incredibly painful. I'm 4 days past it now so it's starting to get better but the whole time it's felt like I have a years' worth of garbage stuck in my nose and all I want to do is blow the world's nastiest snot rocket.

So far I haven't noticed anything but that seems to be normal. They had to go in my nose and take out some bone and cartilage after all, so recovery isn't going to be speedy. The doc said it'll likely take a month or two to really notice results so I'm just praying that at least my face stops hurting before then. It's been 3 tylenol every 4 hours nonstop for me.

I'm really hoping I can narrow down the source of my depression/anxiety. If it just stems from horrible sleep quality, then this will be a life changer for me. Hopefully I don't have to keep looking for the reason for too long

I'm preparing for a job hunt and got professional photos done. I proposed a somewhat challenging paper topic, so I am nervous.