BusAlderaan's recent activity

  1. Comment on US Federal Trade Commission bans new noncompete agreements in ~life

    BusAlderaan
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    A lot of the contracts I've had were in CA, yeah. I guess I hadn't thought about state law limiting them, but that makes total sense.

    A lot of the contracts I've had were in CA, yeah. I guess I hadn't thought about state law limiting them, but that makes total sense.

    5 votes

  2. Comment on US Federal Trade Commission bans new noncompete agreements in ~life

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    This is wild, I don't know anyone who's under these types of restrictions, but then again, maybe I just don't know. How often does that kind of stuff come up with friends? I work in a very private...

    This is wild, I don't know anyone who's under these types of restrictions, but then again, maybe I just don't know. How often does that kind of stuff come up with friends?

    I work in a very private industry, many projects hushed up until launch, and I don't even have to sign noncompetes.

    2 votes

  3. Comment on US Federal Trade Commission bans new noncompete agreements in ~life

    BusAlderaan
    Link
    "from minimum-wage earners to CEOs" Ok, I'm gonna need someone to give me an example of a minimum-wage worker who is bound by a noncompete agreement. These seems like something that will largely...

    "from minimum-wage earners to CEOs"

    Ok, I'm gonna need someone to give me an example of a minimum-wage worker who is bound by a noncompete agreement. These seems like something that will largely benefit executives and some niche associates.

    4 votes

  4. Comment on Asking neighbors to turn down noise in ~life

    BusAlderaan
    Link
    My wife and I lived in apartments for about 8 years, until we moved into our home. Our policy was basically 1st time: Do and say nothing, sometimes people's lives are loud and our need for grouped...

    My wife and I lived in apartments for about 8 years, until we moved into our home. Our policy was basically

    1st time: Do and say nothing, sometimes people's lives are loud and our need for grouped housing just makes that hard. If your apartment complex is typically quiet, you can infer that everyone is working their best to be quiet, that makes this anomaly perfectly tolerable.

    2nd time (Within 30 days): Follow up the following day and ask them to let us know if they're going to have people over late and things might get loud. It helps us coordinate and it gives us a baseline of how easy it is to talk to this person, because we're not asking for them to change their behavior yet, just to be courteous.

    If they give us notice and it's not happening really often, we're happy with that. Again, it's hard living around people and as long as it's not happening all the time, we can make space for that and plan to wear earplugs or use white noise.

    3rd time: Typically this is a person who's started being loud right after moving in, will not honor our request for notice, and escalates when we try to talk to them. Management, immediately. I don't interface with them at all, I go to management every single time and I document everything. We had one really bad experience with a neighbor and we realized it's easy to spot the difference between someone who is the main character and those who understand they are living in a community and that means compromise.

    17 votes

  5. Comment on What makes someone a "decent" person to you? in ~talk

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    ...but subvert who? You're describing a loop that has no definition.

    ...but subvert who? You're describing a loop that has no definition.

    3 votes

  6. Comment on What makes someone a "decent" person to you? in ~talk

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    I'm not 100% sure you're allowed to use the word being defined in the definition, how do you determine if the person you're encountering is decent?

    I'm not 100% sure you're allowed to use the word being defined in the definition, how do you determine if the person you're encountering is decent?

    6 votes

  7. Comment on Flourishing romances are more the result of proactive behaviors than soulmate spark, study finds in ~life

    BusAlderaan
    (edited )
    Link Parent
    I spend a lot of my time with young people who are dating/married and I will say that the vast majority of them are just playing out the models they were given for marriage when younger. The men...

    I spend a lot of my time with young people who are dating/married and I will say that the vast majority of them are just playing out the models they were given for marriage when younger. The men aren't trying to be themselves, they're trying to be the man they're "Supposed to be," as are the women. It all plays out in a hilariously obvious way to an outside observer, but these people are truly confused when play acting marriage doesn't work. They don't even know how to building something unique to themselves.

    edit: mistakes

    19 votes

  8. Comment on I bought a house, now what? in ~life.home_improvement

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    I do it every few years or whenever I think of it. The nice thing about the videos is that, even if it's out of date, you still have evidence of most valuables and random household items. You can...

    I do it every few years or whenever I think of it. The nice thing about the videos is that, even if it's out of date, you still have evidence of most valuables and random household items. You can piece together the few newest valuables through receipts at that point.

    2 votes

  9. Comment on I bought a house, now what? in ~life.home_improvement

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    I learned that the best way to document for insurance is to walk around my house, recording a video, and just opening stuff up and taking a quick glance. I can do all the leg work of watching the...

    I learned that the best way to document for insurance is to walk around my house, recording a video, and just opening stuff up and taking a quick glance. I can do all the leg work of watching the video and documenting the things I see if there's a fire, the record is the only thing that truly matters, and I'm much more likely to do it this way. Also, it documents much more than I would think of if making a list of "Valuables." What most people hurt from after a fire isn't replacing expensive things, those are easier to remember. They get screwed forgetting they had 1200 worth of house cleaning supplies and 800 in random house toiletries and spices. By having a video of your whole house, you're covered on all fronts.

    9 votes

  10. Comment on I bought a house, now what? in ~life.home_improvement

    BusAlderaan
    Link
    Congratulations! Now that you own your own house, my only advice is to do what you want to your house, make it yours. Yes yes, your house can be an investment, but it's also where you live. If you...

    Congratulations! Now that you own your own house, my only advice is to do what you want to your house, make it yours. Yes yes, your house can be an investment, but it's also where you live. If you want bright green walls, give the place a nice lime coat. If you have cats and want to cut holes in the walls to give them a overpass of shelf space that connects throughout the house, do it. Your house should fill it's main role of being somewhere you enjoy being first and act as an investment second. Do you want to dig up your backyard and make a mud wrestling pit? Sick bro.

    Oh also, evidently weeds are best controlled by diversity in the landscape, so don't make your yard all cut and regimented, with duplicate plants and uniformity. Mimic your local landscape and let it grow more natural. It seems like it would be more upkeep, but it's not and it's great for your local ecosystem.

    13 votes

  11. Comment on Why do negative topics dominate social media sites, even here? in ~tech

    BusAlderaan
    (edited )
    Link
    I guess I'm curious what you consider news worthy and by that measurement, what do you suspect is the split between good and bad news worthy things? My impression is there is a whole lot more bad...

    I guess I'm curious what you consider news worthy and by that measurement, what do you suspect is the split between good and bad news worthy things? My impression is there is a whole lot more bad newsworthy stories because we don't seem to be solving much.

    edit: I wanted to add that, while it might be uncomfortable or inconvenient, much of what people are "Pessimistic" about pertains and impacts their life greatly. It's reasonable to want to talk about things that have a big impact on yourself.

    2 votes

  12. Comment on You don't need to document everything in ~tech

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    Not that I indicated in my last comment, but internally I distinguish between someone obviously obstructing and/or interfering with my experience and someone just experiencing something...

    Not that I indicated in my last comment, but internally I distinguish between someone obviously obstructing and/or interfering with my experience and someone just experiencing something differently in proximity to me. That's an important distinction. So hyper focus is the people who can't just enjoy anything if someone else is "Doing it wrong."

    1 vote

  13. Comment on Discord to start showing ads for gamers to boost revenue in ~tech

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    "All the spam" Can you elaborate? I use discord every day and sometimes see a single pop up when I launch.

    "All the spam"

    Can you elaborate? I use discord every day and sometimes see a single pop up when I launch.

    5 votes

  14. Comment on Discord to start showing ads for gamers to boost revenue in ~tech

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    I'm not sure what math you're using, but 420 million is more than enough to cover their payroll, even if everyone was making 200k a year, which they most certainly are not. As for their...

    I'm not sure what math you're using, but 420 million is more than enough to cover their payroll, even if everyone was making 200k a year, which they most certainly are not. As for their infrastructure, I imagine it's a couple hundred mill a year, but there's no way to know for sure. 420 million for a company of their size, offering what they're offering, is sizable.

    6 votes

  15. Comment on You don't need to document everything in ~tech

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    To your first point, it's mostly been my experience that the people who are most distracted at public events are the ones who are hyper focused and upset that people are on their phones. It's...

    To your first point, it's mostly been my experience that the people who are most distracted at public events are the ones who are hyper focused and upset that people are on their phones. It's like, instead of just enjoying the moment, you are spending it judging how everyone else is experiencing it. My wife, for instance, has a terrible memory and recording things she attends is how she remembers them years later.

    6 votes

  16. Comment on How are you using Intermittent Reward? (and why you should think about trying it) in ~talk

    BusAlderaan
    Link
    I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD and had felt it's impact on my life for about 25 years before finding out. Learning that all my decisions are largely just the release of chemicals, based on the...

    I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD and had felt it's impact on my life for about 25 years before finding out. Learning that all my decisions are largely just the release of chemicals, based on the circumstances and learned outcome, has been life changing.

    As stupid as it sounds, I constantly, at a micro level, incentivize myself. If I'm studying something, I set a timer on my computer for an hour and when it goes off, it's time to play some games. I have a "To do" list and a "Prize" list that both get updated regularly, I get to pick from them alternatively, but the only rule is that I cannot repeat anything until 10 items on the list have been used (Keep myself from doing the same fun game over and over and over). This has the effect of keeping my cycling on things, keeping me from doing the same easy "To do" task over and over, forcing me to eventually hit the hard ones, but also incentives me not to avoid the hard things, because I know that eventually it'll just be hard task after hard task.

    Any time I am out and want to buy fast food or something frivolous for myself, I work to convince myself of my goals and values. If the end result is a "Good" choice, then I transfer whatever I would have spent into a savings account. That way, I'm not just denying myself something good, but rewarding myself later on in saved resources for a crisis or something I do need later on.

    The one challenging thing about this system is that it requires building trust with yourself and being kind to yourself when you fail. If you're both horse and carrot then what's to keep me from giving myself the carrot all the time? I tend to defeat this issue by viewing myself as 3 distinct people. Past me, present me, and future me. When past me preps all the pills for present me, it fills me with affection for the kind gesture. It also incentivizes me to do the same for future me, because I know how it feels to be taken care of like that and I have extra energy, because past me did a task early.

    3 votes

  17. Comment on What's something about your lived experience you wished people understood, but rarely do? in ~talk

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    Since I never really struggled with my T, I felt like I saw the effects that driving with it had on people around me. But wow, I have a few men in my life who are the gruff "I am who I am" manly...

    Since I never really struggled with my T, I felt like I saw the effects that driving with it had on people around me. But wow, I have a few men in my life who are the gruff "I am who I am" manly men and it seems exhausting to be them. They've let their T rage and run things for so long, they seek no person growth, they seek no compromise, they seek no gentleness, I just kind of feel bad for them.

    3 votes

  18. Comment on What's something about your lived experience you wished people understood, but rarely do? in ~talk

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    I'm so very thankful that my parents instilled in me a very positive inner voice, so I don't have to struggle with the negative self talk, but my wife has Autism HD and this is a constant battle...

    I'm so very thankful that my parents instilled in me a very positive inner voice, so I don't have to struggle with the negative self talk, but my wife has Autism HD and this is a constant battle for her.

    I'm always internally laughing/crying when I sit at my computer on a day off and I'm just staring at the screen for an hour or two, not opening any games, just scanning the screen and trying to figure out which one my brain will give me a lil jolt to double click. But yeah, it's just that I don't like doing hard stuff. lol

    2 votes

  19. Comment on What's something about your lived experience you wished people understood, but rarely do? in ~talk

    BusAlderaan
    Link
    I am fully capable of laying my hand on a hot stove and burning my hand, there is nothing physically wrong with my body that would keep me from doing it. But, if I were to walk into my kitchen...

    I am fully capable of laying my hand on a hot stove and burning my hand, there is nothing physically wrong with my body that would keep me from doing it. But, if I were to walk into my kitchen right now, turn on a burner, and attempt to, I'd find myself inhibited by an invisible force. Something inside my body wouldn't want me to do it, despite my every intention of doing it.

    This is life with executive dysfunction is like. The hidden bureaucracy inside my brain that exchanges chemicals for tasks, refuses to release the required chemicals for me to do tasks I would like to do, tasks I need to do. It doesn't matter that I'm fully capable of doing the task, whatever it may be, if my brain has identified that there is no positive chemical to be received for doing the task or that the amount of chemicals my brain will get compared to the difficulty of the task, it will just withhold them.

    This is why all the structure in the world, all the planners, apps, coaches, and self-help, cannot compel me to do something on time or do something "right." My brain, quite literally, refuses to allow me. I feel this frustration, just like those around me who are angry with me. I am standing with my hand over the stove, it's right there, all I'd have to do is push my hand down, it's just a few inches away, but my brain won't let it happen. It feels like being held hostage.

    29 votes

  20. Comment on Fallout | Official trailer in ~tv

    BusAlderaan
    Link Parent
    Of course, the set design around a show is definitely going to have a different look, because the game basically just strewn objects around the world. But do you know what I mean, it looks dirty,...

    Of course, the set design around a show is definitely going to have a different look, because the game basically just strewn objects around the world. But do you know what I mean, it looks dirty, but like Disney's Galaxy's Edge dirty. Like new dirty.

    1 vote