Your blog posts are really cool. It's like a diary except every entry is about your process of problem solving; I especially liked the entry about the drain filter. I'm interested to see how you...
Your blog posts are really cool. It's like a diary except every entry is about your process of problem solving; I especially liked the entry about the drain filter.
I'm interested to see how you tackle the problem (if it can be classified as a problem) of personal growth through problem solving.
I don't want to be overly critical or rude so if you aren't interested in direct feedback stop reading now. I think the writing in the blog post needs work. Problems range from spelling to...
I don't want to be overly critical or rude so if you aren't interested in direct feedback stop reading now.
I think the writing in the blog post needs work. Problems range from spelling to sentence construction to diction. The language problems make the post difficult and unpleasant to read.
Here's an example:
I do not want to be less then perfect
This is simultaneously an ironic spelling mistake and a run on sentence. The word "then" is used when one thing happens and then another, e.g. I went to the store to buy milk then went home, then ate cereal. You want "than" which is used to compare two things.
The sentence that the phrase I quoted comes from reads:
I do not want to be less then perfect, so I have much to learn and I think that I have a good opportunity here, its just a matter of being prepared and having a good plan for day-to-day activities to organize my time, that is easier said than done, but I think that I have good coworkers that can help me at the start.
Which is a run on sentence. You can tell this is a run on sentence not only because it's so long, but also because the topic shifts so wildly. This one sentence covers more more topics than a paragraph should, let alone a single sentence.
Good writing is fun and interesting to read, but also clear and to the point. The writing in this blog is difficult to read and has the character of rambling.
Aside from the fundamentals of writing, I'd also like to question the purpose of this post. Why would I want to read this?
As is, the blog post is about you - your position, your doubts about being ready to be a scrum master, and some of the things you've done to prepare. This seems like a Facebook post in that you are updating people about you.
The subject of your blog post is incongruous with how you're sharing it though. You're sharing it to random strangers who don't know you and who don't care about you. (I don't mean this in a negative way, just that there is no relationship between you and your audience.)
The blog post should give something to the reader so that readers will invest time in reading. If your audience was friends and family, your current post offers insight into what you're doing and how you think. If you want a wider audience you should offer something that will appeal to a wider audience.
I would suggest you write more about the process of becoming a good scrum master. This way, people who are undertaking the same journey will be able to find your blog and use it as a resource.
Start off by setting up the problem. Why your team needs a scrum master, what the scrum master needs to do, where you need to be at, what your current gaps are and how did you determine that. Then, go through some of the research you've been doing and talk about your takeaways.
"I've listened to this podcast, link at the bottom" isn't all that useful. A more useful thing would be "I learned X, Y, and Z from this podcast. Here's a recap, here's why it'll be useful, here's what I'm going to do with it, here's a link to the source so you can learn more."
I believe if you provide value you'll attract an audience. If you attract an audience you'll start to get people who care more about you personally and that would make more personal blogs appropriate.
Let me sum up everything into some simple steps.
Determine the purpose of the article.
Rewrite to suit the purpose.
After rewriting re-read and edit the post so it is written correctly and is easy to understand.
Keep updating and follow along with your lessons and what you've learned on the way to becoming a scrum master.
Yes, you are right, I am not interested in direct feedback, but you got me at the "stop reading now", so I did not. Thank you very much for this thorough review, nobody ever does that. It was a...
Yes, you are right, I am not interested in direct feedback, but you got me at the "stop reading now", so I did not. Thank you very much for this thorough review, nobody ever does that. It was a negative surprise for me at the start, but when I read it all, it makes a lot of sense. I will fix some of the issues soon, but as far as the content goes... I do not like to change it much after it was published. I will defenetly remember this review when writing future blog posts.
PS: I know it is not an excuse but.... In my defence ... English is not my native language and I had some slight learning disabilities at the time I was learning it... allegedly :)
Your blog posts are really cool. It's like a diary except every entry is about your process of problem solving; I especially liked the entry about the drain filter.
I'm interested to see how you tackle the problem (if it can be classified as a problem) of personal growth through problem solving.
So, what do you think of my new blog post? Any suggestions or advice you can give me?
I don't want to be overly critical or rude so if you aren't interested in direct feedback stop reading now.
I think the writing in the blog post needs work. Problems range from spelling to sentence construction to diction. The language problems make the post difficult and unpleasant to read.
Here's an example:
This is simultaneously an ironic spelling mistake and a run on sentence. The word "then" is used when one thing happens and then another, e.g. I went to the store to buy milk then went home, then ate cereal. You want "than" which is used to compare two things.
The sentence that the phrase I quoted comes from reads:
Which is a run on sentence. You can tell this is a run on sentence not only because it's so long, but also because the topic shifts so wildly. This one sentence covers more more topics than a paragraph should, let alone a single sentence.
Good writing is fun and interesting to read, but also clear and to the point. The writing in this blog is difficult to read and has the character of rambling.
Aside from the fundamentals of writing, I'd also like to question the purpose of this post. Why would I want to read this?
As is, the blog post is about you - your position, your doubts about being ready to be a scrum master, and some of the things you've done to prepare. This seems like a Facebook post in that you are updating people about you.
The subject of your blog post is incongruous with how you're sharing it though. You're sharing it to random strangers who don't know you and who don't care about you. (I don't mean this in a negative way, just that there is no relationship between you and your audience.)
The blog post should give something to the reader so that readers will invest time in reading. If your audience was friends and family, your current post offers insight into what you're doing and how you think. If you want a wider audience you should offer something that will appeal to a wider audience.
I would suggest you write more about the process of becoming a good scrum master. This way, people who are undertaking the same journey will be able to find your blog and use it as a resource.
Start off by setting up the problem. Why your team needs a scrum master, what the scrum master needs to do, where you need to be at, what your current gaps are and how did you determine that. Then, go through some of the research you've been doing and talk about your takeaways.
"I've listened to this podcast, link at the bottom" isn't all that useful. A more useful thing would be "I learned X, Y, and Z from this podcast. Here's a recap, here's why it'll be useful, here's what I'm going to do with it, here's a link to the source so you can learn more."
I believe if you provide value you'll attract an audience. If you attract an audience you'll start to get people who care more about you personally and that would make more personal blogs appropriate.
Let me sum up everything into some simple steps.
Yes, you are right, I am not interested in direct feedback, but you got me at the "stop reading now", so I did not. Thank you very much for this thorough review, nobody ever does that. It was a negative surprise for me at the start, but when I read it all, it makes a lot of sense. I will fix some of the issues soon, but as far as the content goes... I do not like to change it much after it was published. I will defenetly remember this review when writing future blog posts.
PS: I know it is not an excuse but.... In my defence ... English is not my native language and I had some slight learning disabilities at the time I was learning it... allegedly :)