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  • Showing only topics with the tag "personal". Back to normal view
    1. I just experienced something with my first born son that has blown me away

      I'll try to explain the best I can here. I thought that he was asleep in bed. I went out to go to the bathroom and found him curled up on a chair in the living room. He looked distraught and said...

      I'll try to explain the best I can here.

      I thought that he was asleep in bed. I went out to go to the bathroom and found him curled up on a chair in the living room. He looked distraught and said he needed to talk to me. I asked him to come into the kitchen to speak.

      Long story short, he described experiencing encounters with two humanoids. One was an adult and the other a child. He was shaken up and tearing up about these.

      I reminded him of my story and added a few things that aren't written there. He started to relinquish a little after that. However, he still seemed troubled so I pressed further.

      I said, something to the effect, "this 'higher power' reached through time/space to keep me alive and you are worried about these humanoids? Nothing is more powerful than the love of this 'higher power' and the will of your parents."

      He cried tears of joy (said that he was touched), relented, and went to bed.

      Powerful parental/universe experience. I'm blown.

      7 votes
    2. What place/places (physical, online, personal) did you leave later than you should have?

      Someday when I leave for good, I'll very likely say r/politicalcompassmemes. The place has always had a right-wing presence but at some point pretty long ago it just became the dominant POV and...

      Someday when I leave for good, I'll very likely say r/politicalcompassmemes. The place has always had a right-wing presence but at some point pretty long ago it just became the dominant POV and the place is now solidly a no-go for minorities and 95+% of leftists unless they were turned into a term of 'endearment' on 4chan first like how 4chan users call themselves autists and whatever. The place is also pretty bad at sourcing the articles it posts about purported leftists doing ridiculous things. I have mostly looked at the place from the POV of "rightwingers saying stuff" for quite some time now, but I haven't gotten around for leaving for good because occasionally there's a moderately critical post of the sub and that I am accustomed to the jargon used more often there that's less commonly used elsewhere.

      19 votes
    3. Fuck cancer

      Just getting this off my chest because the number of people I can talk to about it right now is very small. My mom got diagnosed with cancer a few days ago. Tumors in her breast(s?) and the cancer...

      Just getting this off my chest because the number of people I can talk to about it right now is very small.

      My mom got diagnosed with cancer a few days ago. Tumors in her breast(s?) and the cancer has made it into her lymph nodes and possibly her blood as well. None of us have much idea where that puts us right now and we won't know much more until her consult + surgery next week. It's gut-wrenchingly awful. The unknown of everything gnaws at you -- I don't wholesale trust what I read on the internet but it certainly doesn't seem great. I'm still in disbelief -- my mom is only in her mid sixties and she is extremely healthy. My mom is obviously scared but she is doing ok otherwise -- she is a fighter and my whole family is behind her and ready to support her however we can. This next block of time is going to be so hard on both of my parents it physically hurts to think about. I guess as we learn more information things will become easier to deal with because it certainly isn't easy right now. Lots of tears, but lots of video chat smiles and laughing too.

      The saving grace has been knowing how much time I have been able to spend with my parents through the pandemic as they have been helping us out with childcare. My mom has loved being a grandma, getting to watch her eyes light up when she holds our daughter has been amazing and I just want so, so, so badly for her to be able to continue to watch her grow up and for my daughter to know her. If you have a mom in your life please give her an extra hug/ehug this mother's day for me.

      Also, if anyone has any personal experience of battling or having people close to you battle cancer please feel free to share if you want to. Cancer fucking sucks.

      27 votes
    4. What issues or aspects of life are largely one's personal responsibility to deal with?

      Asked mainly because Conservatives say that's one of the things they believe in It often seems to be wrong or misused ("if everyone just used masks and stayed home the pandemic would have ended...

      Asked mainly because

      Conservatives say that's one of the things they believe in

      It often seems to be wrong or misused ("if everyone just used masks and stayed home the pandemic would have ended long ago") ("not using masks during a pandemic has consequences for other people and thus doesn't belong in personal freedom")

      A definition for stuff that fits the question could be this:

      • The credit or blame for consistently failing or succeding at it is largely on you

      • While you can ask for advice to get better, you have to do it yourself

      So the main examples that come to my mind are largely (well) personal:

      • Being motivated and committed to work towards what you want

      • Being hygienic

      • Being good at socializing and figuring out what's your relationship with other people gonna be

      • (although obviously, given socializing depends on other people, this is very dependent on them doing the same and accepting/recognizing you or your choices and so is more accurate on progressive or apolitical social environments)

      Which is good but doesn't explain it being used as a political belief.

      17 votes
    5. How have you changed over the course of your life?

      Asked mainly out of curiosity and because, personally, most of the changes I've been through (well, that I remember, with I don't do nearly as well as I'd like) as a person are basically the...

      Asked mainly out of curiosity and because, personally, most of the changes I've been through (well, that I remember, with I don't do nearly as well as I'd like) as a person are basically the implications of autism often getting weaker with age and just getting hormones like most people instead of anything deliberate or conscious, with the exception of this.

      16 votes
    6. If you're a parent, what is it like?

      If I see myself in someone's child here then I'm deleting this thread, no questions asked /s You should probably say/indicate your and your children's age and sex (can be plural, obviously.) You...

      If I see myself in someone's child here then I'm deleting this thread, no questions asked /s

      You should probably say/indicate your and your children's age and sex (can be plural, obviously.)

      You can follow the Q&A format below but you don't have to.

      A few questions that come to (my very uninitiated) mind are:

      How much time do you spend on them?

      If you aren't their biological parent:

      (i.e you're @aphoenix not hetero and a parent didn't want to go through fkin birthing people an adoptive parent, for example)

      • Where did you (uhh) find them?
      • If it was an orphanage, what was it like there? (Can you even find children elsewhere if they don't have parents?)
      • How many children were there to choose from?
      • What led you to choose the child you picked in specific instead of someone else? (Dear God, is this an ethical question to ask?)

      How do you parent them?

      • Do you follow what they're doing on the Internet or how much they use it? How much?

      • Do you encourage them to have a good diet? How much?

      • Do you encourage them to do more chores? How much?

      • When you do this, how cooperative are they? If they aren't, what do you do to convince them?

      How do you and your partner split the time spent taking care of them?

      What was the most unexpected thing about parenting to you?

      More personal questions below. (You can avoid these, I probably would too tbh)

      If you had a particular preference/expectation for what you wanted/expected your child to be and got something else, what did you do?

      How did birth(-ing?) go? What was it like?

      What was being/seeing your partner be pregnant like?

      Is there anything you regret doing when parenting them?

      Why did you have them?

      30 votes
    7. What was your personal "never again" moment?

      The title should be enough. A few months ago I was out of juice to drink and didn't want to drink water, for some reason. There were 2 packets of powder juice, lemon (how my father got this packet...

      The title should be enough.

      A few months ago I was out of juice to drink and didn't want to drink water, for some reason.

      There were 2 packets of powder juice, lemon (how my father got this packet is a mystery to me) and passion fruit. Passion fruit is really bitter or something (I remember putting like 3 spoons of sugar in one cup and it wasn't enough) so I really don't want passion fruit so I, after a lot of lesser evil stuff, picked lemon.

      It was powder, so the lemon felt kinda off. There wasn't a lot of room for citrus, so it didn't really feel like lemon. So what do I do? Add sugar! To lemon!

      So that didn't feel any more like lemon, it was sweet, and I'm not even sure if the thing dissolved properly in the water!

      So, I had to drink a liter of that. And I did. And I don't want to do it again.

      22 votes
    8. For how long have you held your current political beliefs/positions/opinions, what opinions did you use to have before and why did you previously hold said opinions?

      Asked mainly because: I'm 14, so I've only been seriously politically engaged/active for a few months at best (for context, here I am not knowing that voter suppression is even a thing literally 6...

      Asked mainly because:

      1. I'm 14, so I've only been seriously politically engaged/active for a few months at best (for context, here I am not knowing that voter suppression is even a thing literally 6 months ago, go a few more months back and I'm not sure if I even know Biden is a candidate)

      2. In r/politicalcompass (a sub I probably frequent too much) people often posted their 'political journeys' showing how their political beliefs have changed but:

        • There's not enough context for you to know what has changed and why they have changed

        • These changes often happen in a span of 5 years, which seems pretty unlikely (the part about your political beliefs changing is mostly aimed at 40+people who have seen enough change in the world (although from what I've heard from you, barely) to change your political opinions

        • It's literally a sub trying to boil down political opinions into a square/cube, so what else could I possibly expect.

      28 votes
    9. Has there ever been a moment where you felt you were doing fine but in hindsight you were a lot more vulnerable/troubled/worse off than you thought?

      Around 2 years ago, when I first made a reddit account, I spent a lot of time on AskReddit asking about 'why are women so hard to date' like a personification of the dunning-kruger effect (while I...

      Around 2 years ago, when I first made a reddit account, I spent a lot of time on AskReddit asking about 'why are women so hard to date' like a personification of the dunning-kruger effect (while I don't think I've really learned anything about dating and socialization since then, I have stopped thinking women don't share the same basic emotions and reactions as men and in general don't think they're so removed from guys). Given that and how little engagement my threads were getting (it's AskReddit, but I didn't know what I was expecting) I was basically ready to be made an incel. Thankfully someone snapped me out of it by calling 12-year old me a neckbeard, which terrified me away from touching dating for a few months at least.

      PS: If the answer is "if you don't feel like this you're in trouble, people don't/shouldn't just stop developing like that", I won't be surprised.

      15 votes
    10. How do/did all of you feel about posting your age on the internet?

      (Semi-throwaway account because of personal details) This is prompted by /u/Adys comment to /u/Kuromantis. I'm currently 14, and online I've refrained posting my age on my main account (on this...

      (Semi-throwaway account because of personal details)

      This is prompted by /u/Adys comment to /u/Kuromantis.
      I'm currently 14, and online I've refrained posting my age on my main account (on this site and others) to avoid it becoming a point in discussions (most prominently with politics, but any topic).

      • How do/did you feel about posting your age on the internet (in regards to being younger)?
      • Do/did you feel like your decision made an impact on discussions?
      26 votes
    11. Where do you draw the line when it comes to what data collection one can do on you?

      (Presuming it's done purely for statistical purposes of course.) I, like most of us am personally fine with age, sex, city level location and relationship status. I really dislike using real names...

      (Presuming it's done purely for statistical purposes of course.)

      I, like most of us am personally fine with age, sex, city level location and relationship status. I really dislike using real names though since I feel like it ties you to who you are in person, which I really dislike and I support people deciding not to fill them in because in some places even what I've outlined can get you in trouble.

      10 votes
    12. What's your daily routine like?

      I'll start (for reference, I am a 14 year old Brazilian in a presumably poor house , also in retrospect this reminds me of what they tell you to do at the beginning of most English courses, which...

      I'll start (for reference, I am a 14 year old Brazilian in a presumably poor house , also in retrospect this reminds me of what they tell you to do at the beginning of most English courses, which makes me feel like a cringy kid):

      • Wake up (6:15, praised be alarm clocks)

      • Put on the school uniform (takes 5-10 minutes)

      • Have breakfast (takes 10 minutes)

      • Brush my teeth (takes less than 5 minutes)

      • Walk to school (6:45)

      • Reach school (less than 100 meters from my home thankfully) and enter a classroom (7:00 plus a few minutes for teachers to set stuff up)

      • stay in school until 12:17 (every time the subject changes, we pack our stuff and go to the classroom the teacher of the subject is in. There is also a break between 9:30 and 10:20.)

      • Leave school and go home

      • Get home by 12:45

      • Have lunch, usually rice and beans with either meat or chicken meat in some flattened form I can't describe, usually at 1-1:30 PM.

      Do... whatever on the phone (as of recently be here or in discord, along with reddit and YouTube for longer unless it runs out of battery) Edit: see here for details.

      • Have dinner (usually at 8:30-9:00, same food as lunch)

      • Pack the books for the subjects they teach tomorrow

      • Go to sleep at 10.

      During vacation/weekends I can wake up from 5-10 AM depending on how well I slept the previous night. The rest is the same, except for Saturdays my parents go and buy some esfihas to break the monotony of lunch and dinner.

      29 votes
    13. What do you dream about in your sleep? How vividly do you dream it/them? Can you control it/them?

      I (probably) have aphantasia, so I only dream when I'm actually trying to make my brain dream something, so I usually only dream to indulge in NSFW fantasies to jack off and despite this barely...

      I (probably) have aphantasia, so I only dream when I'm actually trying to make my brain dream something, so I usually only dream to indulge in NSFW fantasies to jack off and despite this barely anything makes it into my mind. (I swear someone has said something like this before, I think they said they 'did it to embrace their kinks to improve mental health', which is quite unique and pretty cool.)

      12 votes
    14. What have you done in the last 10 years?

      Asked in the spirit of the new decade. I am 14, so mostly growing up and realizing that the world is probably going to enter a recession when I reach adulthood which will suck for reaching...

      Asked in the spirit of the new decade.

      I am 14, so mostly growing up and realizing that the world is probably going to enter a recession when I reach adulthood which will suck for reaching financial independence.

      Going through puberty, even if it's just the beginning of it and seeing one of my cats die from kidney failure and hearing that my grandma died from cancer, which is very sad :(

      27 votes
    15. Would you consider yourself 'fortunate'?

      I'll start by saying yes and no, but the reasons for my answer are personal and familial ,so if you don't like that skip my answer. Yes, because... I am the only person in my family who speaks...

      I'll start by saying yes and no, but the reasons for my answer are personal and familial ,so if you don't like that skip my answer.

      Yes, because... I am the only person in my family who speaks English (We're Brazilian) on not just on a basic level, but actually good enough to talk to actual native English speakers, listen to great, (unfortunately lacking alternatives on other languages) YouTube channels and even good enough to get an actual English certificate from Cambridge, along with actually being somewhat knowledgeable.

      More detailed explanation

      No, because... my parents are poor, and I'm probably weird to my classmates. My father has worked as a mechanic since he was 11 (which was actually quite common when he was a kid in 90s brazil) and makes somewhere between 1 and 1.5 times the minimum wage (estimations because he is self employed) and my mother wanted to be a seamstress but she ended up being a cashier in a fast food and then in a flower shop and she is now unemployed now she also wants to be self employed by selling painted embroidery via Instagram which is great but competition is stiff meaning that until she somehow gets a serious following to sell her stuff to my father is the sustaining the 3 of us on what he makes in the month.

      On the 'I'm quite weird to my classmates' bit, It's essentially by watching English content, I am effectively on a different platform with a different audience and different creators than them. here are the 250 largest channels in Brazilian YouTube for context.
      You know them as well as I do but it's incredibly annoying when you enjoy completely different content and vice versa. More on this also.

      19 votes
    16. What was your educational experience like?

      What did you like about school? What did you dislike about it? What were the most important things that you learned? What would you change about education if you had the power? If you could go...

      What did you like about school?
      What did you dislike about it?
      What were the most important things that you learned?
      What would you change about education if you had the power?
      If you could go back and re-do things knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

      I'm not necessarily looking for individual answers to each question, I'm just putting those out there to frame the kind of thoughts I'm looking for. I'm really just interested in hearing other people's stories! I'm a teacher and frequently do a lot of talking about education from my own perspective, but I don't feel like I do enough listening to others' views.

      Also, to avoid gumming up the questions with multiple tenses, I wrote everything in past tense. That doesn't mean I'm only interested in the responses of people who are done with their formal education though. I'd love to hear from people who are still in school as well!

      18 votes
    17. How do you define your masculinity/femininity?

      In lieu of the recent Gillette ad, and seeing as the conversation around it has stirred the pot quite a bit, I wanted to propose a conversation where we start from the very beginning: Without yet...

      In lieu of the recent Gillette ad, and seeing as the conversation around it has stirred the pot quite a bit, I wanted to propose a conversation where we start from the very beginning:

      Without yet talking about subsets, variants, or interpretations of masculinity/femininity (toxic or otherwise). How do you define it for yourself: what makes you masculine or feminine, or what parts of you would you describe as such, do you feel that those things go as universal descriptors or are they specific to your case?

      There may also be some deeper questions in here about where you think you gained this conception (your family? your immediate circle of contacts? Role models?) or who you think best embodies your ideal definition of your gender.

      23 votes
    18. Just broke off a 3 year relationship with someone I still loved

      Sorry if this isn’t appropriate for Tildes, but I’ve gotta get this off my chest, and a neutral third party seems best. Don’t think I’ve ever felt this shit before. Still had feelings for her, and...

      Sorry if this isn’t appropriate for Tildes, but I’ve gotta get this off my chest, and a neutral third party seems best.

      Don’t think I’ve ever felt this shit before. Still had feelings for her, and it completely blindsided her. Knowing that I absolutely destroyed someone I loved, and who loved me so much, is really tearing me up inside. Doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself it wouldn’t have worked out. Doesn’t matter how different the things we wanted were. None of that really changes how I feel about hurting my (former, I guess) best friend this badly.

      So yeah, just had to get that out there.

      21 votes