RoyalHenOil's recent activity
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Comment on The US Democrats need to start acting like an opposition party in ~society
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Comment on The US Democrats need to start acting like an opposition party in ~society
RoyalHenOil Link ParentCan you think of any alternatives that would actually work?Can you think of any alternatives that would actually work?
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Comment on What are your favorite special kitchen ingredients? in ~food
RoyalHenOil Link ParentThe only thing I want to add to this is if you grow a commercial strain of garlic, it will tend to taste not much better than a supermarket garlic. I would recommend seeking out some heirloom...Home grown garlic (incredible in comparison to store bought and it keeps for months and months)
The only thing I want to add to this is if you grow a commercial strain of garlic, it will tend to taste not much better than a supermarket garlic. I would recommend seeking out some heirloom varieties that are noted for their flavor. Some of them may be less productive than the commercial strains, but that is not normally an issue for the home gardener (since you aren't trying to produce tons and tons of it to sell), and you can try different varieties to see which grow best in your conditions.
My personal favorite variety to grow is Spanish Roja because it has a very strong, very good flavor and it can last in storage for over a year. It's also a variety that produces scapes, which I love in stir fry.
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Comment on Question for the women in relationships: how would you react if a male friend asked to hang with you alone? in ~life.women
RoyalHenOil (edited )LinkI would be cautious assuming that everyone of a given generation are all in lockstep about how their relationships should work. Culture provides a basic template, but at the end of the day, people...I would be cautious assuming that everyone of a given generation are all in lockstep about how their relationships should work. Culture provides a basic template, but at the end of the day, people all have different personalities and will adapt the rules of their relationships to meet their needs. In every age group, you will see some relationships that are fiercely guarded, some relationships that are essentially open, and everything in between.
I am in my late 30s, so not quite in your age group (I do have friends and family I am close to in your age group, however), but I generally do not have any qualms hanging out one-on-one with male friends. Though my partner and I have a monogamous relationship, we have been hanging out one-on-one with friends of assorted genders (including even exes) for years.
However, if I in any way suspected that my partner would be uncomfortable with me hanging out with a particular friend in a particular scenario, I would not do it — even if he himself thought that his feelings were unjustified and he was encouraging me to go anyway. I just don't want to make him feel bad if I can easily avoid it, you know? (If he were a jealous sort of person, such that my own happiness would be hampered if I tried to never make him uncomfortable, then maybe I'd have to reassess. But that is not the case in our relationship.)
The other concern I might have is whether I feel comfortable hanging out one-on-one with a particular friend in a particular scenario. If I get the vibes that maybe this person could have a little bit of a thing for me (even if those vibes are incorrect), then I will probably feel uncomfortable visiting them alone in their home — and if that's the case, I will probably point to my relationship status when I back out of the invite.
As a general rule, I also don't like going to someone else's home for the first time when I am alone. I would much, much rather have a friend or my partner come with me for the first time — and possibly the first few times. I am just inherently uncomfortable in this kind of situation.
I think another issue you could be running into is that they are a long distance couple. Long distance relationships are inherently more shaky than traditional relationships, and that can cause the couple to cling to each other a bit tighter and to feel more uncomfortable with perceived threats to their relationship. When my partner and I were long distance, our standards were very different from what they are now; we were more nervous about the various ways that our relationship could fail, and we were a lot more conscious about doing anything that could make the other feel uncertain about our future together.
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Comment on A few questions about replacing our clothes washing machine in ~life
RoyalHenOil LinkIn my experience, top loaders with an agitator are far less likely to become imbalanced than top loaders without an agitator. However, the agitator does put more wear and tear on your clothes...In my experience, top loaders with an agitator are far less likely to become imbalanced than top loaders without an agitator.
However, the agitator does put more wear and tear on your clothes (albeit not nearly as much as, say, a dryer does). You may be able to limit damage by using laundry bags for your more delicate or precious clothes.
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Comment on Medicare for all would save 68,000 US lives per year and reduce costs by $450 billion in ~health
RoyalHenOil Link ParentIt would presumably also reduce how many jobs get sent overseas where employers don't have to pay for employees' healthcare.It would presumably also reduce how many jobs get sent overseas where employers don't have to pay for employees' healthcare.
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Comment on Melbourne's project to remove level rail/road crossings has many benefits in ~transport
RoyalHenOil LinkI lived in an outer Melbourne neighborhood for a couple years, and I remember the aftermath of one of these car-train collisions, which occurred during afternoon rush hour. It caused huge traffic...I lived in an outer Melbourne neighborhood for a couple years, and I remember the aftermath of one of these car-train collisions, which occurred during afternoon rush hour. It caused huge traffic snarls for hours, and all trains had to stop running on that part of the track — meaning everyone had to get off the trains and continue on foot (as there was no way for buses or taxis to reach them). I remember watching hundreds and hundreds of people walking down the streets, trickling between stopped cars, to get to the next train station several miles away.
I grew up in a city that does not have level crossings (due to commuter trains being added relatively late in the city's development), and I had never seen anything like it.
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Comment on What possession(s) do you have that continue to delight you every time? in ~talk
RoyalHenOil Link ParentWhere did you get your crisp sheets?Where did you get your crisp sheets?
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Comment on Anyone interested in trying out Kagi? in ~tech
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI used to use that add-on as well. I think you will like Kagi a lot based on that. I'll send you my spare code.I used to use that add-on as well. I think you will like Kagi a lot based on that. I'll send you my spare code.
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Comment on Anyone interested in trying out Kagi? in ~tech
RoyalHenOil Link ParentAnother underappreciated aspect of it is how frictionless they made boosting or downgrading domains. Instead of having to add and remove domains on a separate blacklist or whitelist (which is how...Another underappreciated aspect of it is how frictionless they made boosting or downgrading domains. Instead of having to add and remove domains on a separate blacklist or whitelist (which is how I previously curated my Google results via browser add-ons), you just click a button on the search result itself.
I have found this extremely helpful for when I'm digging deep into some specific topic and I want to limit my results to just a few websites that have the information I'm after. I can temporarily pin just those websites until I've collected all the information I'm after.
I am a habitual researcher — I make spreadsheets when I am circling a large purchase or planning out a hobby project — and Kagi has made that process so much smoother and more fun.
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Comment on What’s something that you weren’t supposed to see/hear, but did? in ~talk
RoyalHenOil Link ParentHave you found that you occasionally see the event in a new light or think of a different aspect of it, and that random realization re-traumatizes you in some way? I went through a series of...Have you found that you occasionally see the event in a new light or think of a different aspect of it, and that random realization re-traumatizes you in some way?
I went through a series of extremely scary experiences as a young teenager (a blatant kidnapping attempt, followed by two cases of being secretly stalked by strangers over a period of hours, which I believe may have also been aborted kidnapping attempts — all within the space of about a year), and for some reason, I occasionally get jolted by new what-if's that lay me low again for a few days.
For some reason, right after these events happened, I did not think at all about what could have happened if they had kidnapped me. I was completely focused on how scary my actual experience had been and being on the watch for a repeat (none of the perpetrators were caught, and one of the events happened almost right in front of my home).
But months or years later, I suddenly wondered if I they would have raped me if they'd managed to grab me, and that thought really messed me up for a while.
Then, years after that, I wondered if they would have murdered me after raping me, and that messed me up again.
And then more than a decade later, I suddenly wondered if it was actually a lot more impersonal than that and I would have been sold into sex slavery, and that idea really messed me up.
Following that (again interspersed by years), I found myself wondering if they ever successfully caught someone else — and then years later again, what could have happened to this hypothetical victim.
I ask this because, when I read your comment, I immediately thought of all kinds of what-ifs along these lines that must because extremely traumatizing to you — and then I realized that maybe you haven't actually finished processing all those what-ifs.
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Comment on Assisted dying now accounts for one in twenty Canada deaths in ~health
RoyalHenOil Link ParentSomething I have found is that the older I get, the less I fear death — even though I broadly also enjoy life more as I get older. I can more easily imagine scenarios where I would choose an...Something I have found is that the older I get, the less I fear death — even though I broadly also enjoy life more as I get older. I can more easily imagine scenarios where I would choose an assisted death over a natural death, and I can also imagine more scenarios where I would sacrifice my life even if I were happy and healthy (a la running into a burning building to save someone else).
I'm not sure how much of this is me just having time to get used to the idea, me ticking more things off my bucket list, or me having more exposure to suffering (both my own and my loved ones') and grokking that death really isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. Probably some combination of all three.
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Comment on What long book series is worth its page count? in ~books
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI love the Baroque Cycle and have read it three times. It is by far my favorite of his novels. The first part is a slog, though, because it follows a character who is very timid and kind of...I love the Baroque Cycle and have read it three times. It is by far my favorite of his novels.
The first part is a slog, though, because it follows a character who is very timid and kind of depressed, and it's just not a very fun read. You do come to appreciate him in time, but it's hard to care about his story before you get to know him as a character.
Later, the two other main characters make an appearance, and they offer all the heart-beating thrill and mastermind flare that you expect from a Neal Stephenson novel.
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Comment on How to judge relative dangers of chemicals for someone too busy (or lazy) to keep up with the science? in ~health
RoyalHenOil LinkThe science on endocrine-disrupting and cancer-causing substances in plastic is still in its infancy, and virtually no products state exactly what they contain anyway. I don't think it's worth...The science on endocrine-disrupting and cancer-causing substances in plastic is still in its infancy, and virtually no products state exactly what they contain anyway. I don't think it's worth trying to keep up. For example, vinyl or PVC is one of the most harmful substances we regularly expose ourselves to, and it's in all kinds of products we cannot realistically avoid, like cars and building materials.
Instead, I recommend never storing food against plastic wherever that's possible (stick to glass and ceramics, but avoid waxy/shiny paper such as many paper plates), never heating food while it is touching plastic (this includes non-stick pans, unfortunately), and washing your hands before handling food or touching your mouth — behave as if your hands are constantly getting dirty (they basically are, even if you can't see the "dirt") and behave accordingly.
Where plastic is unavoidable, use silicone in place of other plastics in the kitchen. For plastics exposed to the elements (outdoor furniture, irrigation pipes, etc.), use PE — also sold as LDPE and HDPE — instead of PVC/vinyl or other generic unknown plastics.
More important than limiting your own exposure, though, is limiting children's exposure. The younger a person is, the more harmful these plastics are to their long-term health, and exposure rates today are much higher than they were when we were children.
In particular, watch out for plastic baby products that will touch food or go into the baby's mouth. These are major culprits for endocrine-disrupting chemicals that leach easily when exposed to warmth or light. Wherever possible, use plastic-free materials such as wooden teething rings and metal bowls/utensils. And teach your kids to always wash their hands before they eat.
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Comment on Is the Cybertruck really that bad? in ~transport
RoyalHenOil Link ParentHow do you feel about the design of other Tesla vehicles? That might tell you how much of it is Musk and how much of it is your genuine aesthetic response. I personally find the Cybertruck very...How do you feel about the design of other Tesla vehicles? That might tell you how much of it is Musk and how much of it is your genuine aesthetic response.
I personally find the Cybertruck very ugly, but I strongly suspect it's the aesthetic that is turning me off, for two reasons:
• I don't mind the looks of any other Tesla that I've seen, even though I would never buy one for Musk-related reasons. Some of them are even gorgeous.
• The Cybertruck is not the ugliest car I've ever seen; for example, I do find the early Honda Fit just as ugly (and I like Honda Fits and have even owned one), and I find assorted Lambourghinis even uglier. I just plain don't like cars that look like shapeless lumps; my favorite cars (aesthetically speaking) strike a much more buxom figure. -
Comment on Great shows with interesting premises? in ~tv
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI recommend watching Travellers all the way through, if you are ever inclined to give it another shot. It wraps up beautifully.I recommend watching Travellers all the way through, if you are ever inclined to give it another shot. It wraps up beautifully.
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Comment on eBooks cost too much in ~books
RoyalHenOil Link ParentIt's not too hard to convert DRM-locked eBooks to different formats. I do it with all my eBooks as soon as I buy them so that I'm not locked to reading specific books on specific devices or apps....It's not too hard to convert DRM-locked eBooks to different formats. I do it with all my eBooks as soon as I buy them so that I'm not locked to reading specific books on specific devices or apps. I like to have a single library that I can read anywhere.
However, I never download or upload eBooks. I think it's important to support authors' work so that they keep writing the books we love reading.
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Comment on Is the love song dying? in ~music
RoyalHenOil Link ParentBased on my personal experiences going through periods of grief and periods of contentment, I suspect that people who are going through a hard time tend to seek out media that helps them feel...Based on my personal experiences going through periods of grief and periods of contentment, I suspect that people who are going through a hard time tend to seek out media that helps them feel understood and helps them process their inner turmoil, whereas people who are happy are not nearly as picky about their media because they don't have any particular unmet needs. If my hypothesis is correct, then there would be a higher demand for troubled music than for happy music.
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Comment on Is ADHD really that debilitating? in ~health.mental
RoyalHenOil Link ParentI just use a spreadsheet. I store it locally and share it between my devices. I previously used an app, but it shut down after Roe v. Wade was struck down, so I downloaded my data in Excel format...I just use a spreadsheet. I store it locally and share it between my devices. I previously used an app, but it shut down after Roe v. Wade was struck down, so I downloaded my data in Excel format and have been editing that directly ever since. I honestly prefer it to the app because it's so simple and flexible.
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Comment on Is ADHD really that debilitating? in ~health.mental
RoyalHenOil Link ParentIf I were going to ask someone to represent my concerns on my behalf, my #1 pick by far would be my partner. Even though he is a cis man, he understands my experiences better than anyone else does...If I were going to ask someone to represent my concerns on my behalf, my #1 pick by far would be my partner. Even though he is a cis man, he understands my experiences better than anyone else does on account of living with me and empathizing with me deeply.
A random woman who doesn't know me would do a far poorer job of understanding my concerns, regardless of our biological similarities, because there are more differences within genders than there are between them. The odds that she experiences her life just like I experience mine are essentially zero.
The man in question likely has close friends or family members who are women who have ADHD and menstruate, and he is just representing the struggles they've expressed to him about period tracking.
To be fair, I think that you are actually being intentionally rude. Someone patiently explaining why a given course of action couldn't work is not them promoting its failure; it's them trying to be helpful and explain why that course of action didn't happen. It's not their fault that we're in this mess, but you seem awfully eager to blame them for it.
Frustration is extremely understandable (more than), but direct it at those who are actually to blame — not denizens of this forum who are communicating with you in good faith.