I was having a conversation that made me go "damn the Romans for using up all the herbal birth control." Normally I'm not interested in doing time travel because I am too queer, loud, non-binary, woman coded, etc. to not get some sort of societal consequence in most of history. Also I like modern medicine and such. But, it got me thinking about how it'd be cool to be able to bring a large silphium plant back from before it went extinct.

Obviously I have no idea of the efficacy of silphium for medicinal purposes but it would be super cool to be able to grow it, sequence the DNA, and try to reintroduce it, even if only in gardens. And maybe it's actually even effective medically.

So what would you bring back?

Caveats:

• You must be able to carry the thing
• The thing will not age when traveling forward in time but you'll be able to demonstrate that you brought it from the past.
• It should be one "thing." If that "thing" is made up of multiple smaller things (not atoms ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ)... Well, if you're trying to loophole then you're on thin ice, but if a reasonable case could be made, then make it and let your fellow Tildese judge you.
• You can't bring anything back in time besides yourself, your clothes and your time machine remote control button.
• You cannot bring a person to the present. An animal that you personally can carry, and that will let you carry it, is up to you.
• ˗ˏˋ Bonus Style Points ˎˊ˗ (there are no points) for presenting your historical artifact in old timey Victorian gentleman inventor/traveler/archaeologist fashion, should the mood take you.

You're guaranteed to have at least the same level of comfort and subsistence you currently have. Anyone in the present that depends on you financially will be taken care of. Other than that there are no guarantees whatsoever. You cannot go back. It's definitely a gamble. Can you resist the curiosity?

The mission

You have been tasked with the mission to kill Hitler. The mission is mandatory and you cannot decline it. You have access to a state of the art time machine: a simple Casio wristwatch in which you enter the time, date and location where you wanna travel to. It can travel to any point in past Earth's history, and it is programmed to automatically and safely return you to the present time as soon as the mission is completed.

You have access to all weapons available to humankind in the present day, but you can only take what you can carry.

You also have access to technology that will make you look ethnically German complete with Nazi uniforms, and a perfectly functioning universal translator.

How this thread will work

I will try to come up with a negative outcome for every answer in jackass genie style. Others are welcome to do the same!

I didn't know tildes has trending topics.

I'd either pick the rise of the bolsheviks in Russia (You can replace them with the mensheviks, who wanted to abide by democracy.), The division of the HRE (A united germany in 900CE would be very consequential.) And the rise of the hapsburgs in what would be Austria-Hungary, since it meshed a dozen linguistic groups together.