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26 votes
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Welcome to the millennial midlife crisis
36 votes -
How to deal with (apparent) loss of love?
I'm not sure if this is the place to discuss, but as a lurker in this community of sensible folks, I'd love reading your stories and opinions on this matter. Let me clarify that this loss of love...
I'm not sure if this is the place to discuss, but as a lurker in this community of sensible folks, I'd love reading your stories and opinions on this matter.
Let me clarify that this loss of love is not due to anyone's death. Perhaps just the same however, since they do not reciprocate your love and warmth anymore, for reasons completely unclear.
The case in point now is this: I'm 25M single and an alone child. I've spent most of my life searching for bondings that nurtured my emotional being. Finding a home for my emotions has been a major theme across different parts of my life. I was lucky enough to be bestowed with a cousin (20F) whom I could meet (at best twice a year, at worst once) and bond over the text otherwise, offering solace and comfort as if from a like-minded sibling. Whenever I needed a sink to pour my love, it was towards her. All was well until I met her yesterday, the meeting for this year (we live continents apart and we know these meetings are limited); I felt I'm distant, and I was invisible on a deeper level to her. Nothing we talked about was related to our well-being as we used to. It was all about the boys in her life, Instagram likes, and other such superficial things. It was as if she didn't know what I care about (I'm not even on IG).
I wasn't sure how to approach this. In general, even with a few friends, I've always had a hard time with an apparent loss of connection. How can you demand love from someone (Rhetorical; one shouldn't)? How should I let them know that the things were better and I want that? I mean nobody can force love. Should I accept (too hard to do) that those bondings have run their course?
Sorry for the emotional dump, and feel free to edit. Thanks for your thoughts.
17 votes -
No wrong doors
14 votes -
"Learning to be happier" by Bruce Hood, professor of developmental psychology
10 votes -
I'm curious how people on here stay politically engaged and aware while maintaining mental health?
the Israel-Palestine war has not been good to my mental health and the coverage and the treatment of the campus protests oddly is what did me in. Now one approach could be to just not watch the...
the Israel-Palestine war has not been good to my mental health and the coverage and the treatment of the campus protests oddly is what did me in.
Now one approach could be to just not watch the coverage but I have come around to the point of view that not watching meaning not knowing what's happening and you need to know what is happening if only for the hope to be more informed about the politics of the government you live in.
So I guess I am trying to understand what is a responsible way to digest news about something that enrages you? Or is there no such thing? Cause I don't do social media (aside from occasional reddit and just the frontpage when I do that once in a while) and I refuse to watch any 24/7 news networks. I only do an hour of CBC and like 1-3 daily news podcasts which each do like 10-20 min daily updates.
Cause the Israel-Palestine war doubled with the terrible way the campus protests are being treated has really shaken my faith and trust in institutions and I won't go into how cause I don't want to invite infighting on tildes and potential Islamophobia and antisemitism after what happened in that macklemore thread.
27 votes -
America’s prison system is turning into a de facto nursing home
20 votes -
An equitable solution to a problem at work regarding sick leave and staffing?
Please bear with me as I'm not terribly sure if this is the right place for this, if I'm phrasing it right, or if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. I work at a childcare center - a private...
Please bear with me as I'm not terribly sure if this is the right place for this, if I'm phrasing it right, or if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.
I work at a childcare center - a private school marketed as "the best in the area". By most metrics, we are exactly that. I've worked here for nearly 15 years in a variety of roles, namely as a prek teacher for over half of that time. I have a good relationship with my directors and the schools owners, despite some issues in the past (I'm eager to champion more rights and privileges for employees).
This week was the sickest I have been in years, and it was the same for several other staffers as well. We couldn't call in, however, because none of us had fevers, vomiting, or diarrhea (the "big three" for what's acceptable to call in for). We all had flu-like symptoms, though those of us who went to the doctor tested negative for anything. Dozens of students had been getting ill with STREP, Influenza A/B, and Fifths in the weeks prior. It just took its time in reaching the staff!
I co-teach in my class and my co-teacher and I both lost our voices for days. Others had full-body aches, tremendous coughing fits, extreme lethargy... It was terrible. However, almost none of us got the time off that we needed to recover. Why? Staffing. The owners/directors don't want to close a room due to illness, even if both teachers in the room are horrendously sick. I spent days with the kids, barely able to talk or move, just trying to get through the day. My coworkers were the same.
Does that seem right?
The directors/owners essentially picked those who were deemed "sickest" to take a day off. While in the moment I understand that decision, it doesn't seem like a terribly good way to handle it either. I want to bring up my grievances about this with the owners (I already have with the directors, they don't disagree with me but "that's just the way it is") but I also know that showing up with a problem and no solution won't go over well. I also know they don't want to close a classroom at all costs, which is my preferred solution. The last time one was closed was when 5/6 teachers in another room had COVID simultaneously and we were mandated to close the room.
Anyone have any thoughts? Even if it's to show me a side I may not be considering here? Thank you for your insight.
22 votes -
When the US Army uses "enhanced interrogation" on an American soldier
30 votes -
‘The science isn’t there’: do dating apps really help us find our soulmate?
31 votes -
The troubling trend in teenage sex (it's strangulation)
26 votes -
Scammers are targeting teenage boys on social media—and driving some to suicide
27 votes -
This is a teenager
36 votes -
US President Joe Biden just signed the largest executive order focused on women’s health
23 votes -
Trolls targeted TikTok librarian Mychal Threets. Now he’s quitting to rediscover his library joy.
31 votes -
The life-ruining power of routines: Habits don’t lead to personal optimisation. They lead to suffering.
32 votes -
Why joining a club is good for democracy
11 votes -
Daniel Tosh's new podcast - Episode 1 | Interviewing my wife's gynecologist
20 votes -
The death of a gun-rights warrior
33 votes -
Life begins at forty: The biological and cultural roots of the midlife crisis
10 votes -
The dubious feminism of the natural childbirth movement
25 votes -
Who determines Kate Cox’s health care
22 votes -
Inside the world of guide dog dropouts (2019)
26 votes -
A potentially fatal mystery illness in dogs is spreading in the US. It starts with a cough.
52 votes -
This retired pilot went to the hospital but was released subject to legal guardianship of a stranger. Family members were not identified until they found him many months later.
29 votes -
At a Helsinki nursery, children spend all day in the forest – how outdoor learning benefits children's health and teaches them to value nature
25 votes -
A vast northern European project is underway to combat isolation by promoting inclusion – we take a look at the results in Norway
9 votes -
Marriage between cousins and extended family members may soon be banned in Norway
26 votes -
Without a college degree, life in America is staggeringly shorter
21 votes -
For the fourteenth year running, Iceland takes the top position in the Global Gender Gap Report by the World Economic Forum
11 votes -
Poland's crusade against abortion investigates miscarriages, tests blood for evidence of abortion pills, created a national pregnancy registry
66 votes -
How Columbia ignored women, undermined prosecutors and protected a predator for more than twenty years
15 votes -
Abortions rose in most US states this year, new data shows
26 votes -
How often do you brush your teeth?
Following yesterday's question about showering, I was really interested in how often everyone brushes their teeth. I know dentists recommend 1-3 times a day, with once being like "you'll be fine...
Following yesterday's question about showering, I was really interested in how often everyone brushes their teeth. I know dentists recommend 1-3 times a day, with once being like "you'll be fine if you do it properly," and thrice being like "yo, don't brush too hard because you can damage your enamel," but I also know a lot of people do it more than three times a day and I suspect a lot of people do it less than once a day...
I try to do it twice a day...sometimes I miss my evening brushing because one of our cats sleeps in the bathroom so that she has her own space and if the dog (who wants to eat the cats) is already in the bedroom, sometimes I don't feel like escorting him out first. Not great, but at least I'll get it in the morning. And I do sometimes forget in the morning on weekends, but I try to do it as soon as I realize that I've forgotten, and I try to make sure I don't skip nighttime brushing if I forgot to brush in the morning.
37 votes -
How frequently do you shower?
I'm interested to know how often people shower or bathe - but I'd also be interested on your thoughts about other people's frequency. Do you feel strongly about how often one should be cleaning...
I'm interested to know how often people shower or bathe - but I'd also be interested on your thoughts about other people's frequency. Do you feel strongly about how often one should be cleaning themselves, and what factors go into this? I would certainly hope it's reasonably frequent for warm-climate athletes, for example.
65 votes -
You're not traumatized, you're just hurt
20 votes -
Foreskin reclaimers: The ‘intactivists’ fighting infant male circumcision
27 votes -
Meet the American nomad prepping for doomsday by living in a homemade cart pulled by sheep and drinking their milk | World Wide Waste
20 votes -
Looking for short beard and face care tips
I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health...
I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health component of this condition already, but a better hair and skin care regiment could help reduce the triggers that start me plucking hairs.
I keep my beard relatively close cropped to my face. When the hairs in my bald patches start to regrow there is typically a lot of irritation which starts me touching my face, which leads me to find bumps like zits and blackheads and “weird hairs”, like kinky hairs, hairs growing in the wrong direction, particularly hard or soft hairs, anything that feels off when I run my fingers over them. This has the side effect of depositing more dirt and oils from my fingers onto my face, which creates a kind of feedback loop where the dirtier my face is the more I want to touch it, and the more I touch it the dirtier it gets. When I encounter these bumps and weird hairs I will want to pick at them and I won’t stop thinking about it until I do. It is a real struggle that I am working through and I figure if I can reduce that irritation that triggers it I’ll be less likely to touch and therefore pluck.
What I am hoping to find here are general care tips I can use for my short-cropped beard. What kind of products do you use for both the hairs themselves and your face, what methods do you use to trim, etc.? Currently I wash my face with a cleanser, followed by a toner, then a serum or lotion, but I don’t use any products specifically for my beard hairs themselves. I trim with an electric razor when my beard is between .5 and 1 inches long and I’ll trim it down to about 1/8 of an inch, or whatever setting 7, 8, or 9 is on my razor.
17 votes -
An abortion ban made them teen parents. This is life two years later.
55 votes -
What do you look for in a nail salon?
I'm sure most of the nail salon choices near me are fine, but I'm going to have to choose. Are there any red flags I should look for? Are there indications of quality that aren't the same as most...
I'm sure most of the nail salon choices near me are fine, but I'm going to have to choose. Are there any red flags I should look for? Are there indications of quality that aren't the same as most expensive option? Any advice would be helpful.
12 votes -
Has anyone administered fecal microbiota transplant (FMT) to help with their dog's gastrointestinal issues?
I have a cavalier king charles spaniel that has had some unfortunate health issues for the past few years. The most pressing one that I haven't been able to nail down and fix is her GI issues....
I have a cavalier king charles spaniel that has had some unfortunate health issues for the past few years. The most pressing one that I haven't been able to nail down and fix is her GI issues. Every now and then, she has an all night bout of diarrhea even though the only food she has eaten is her hydrolyzed protein dog food. I remember reading about FMT years ago for people who had GI issues and I'm wondering what the results have been for dogs (and other animals). It seems counter intuitive to fight shit with more shit, but at this point I am willing to try most non-invasive treatments. While taking her to the dog park and asking other dog owners if my dog can eat their dog's poo would be the cheapest option, instead I found a site that purportedly has capsules available.
https://doggybiome.com/dog-products-for-diarrhea/
However, because it is difficult to find more information about this company and because I don't want imagine how this type of business (if it worked) could scale up as an industrial factory farm, I am skeptical.
Any thoughts on treating IBD in dogs for an allergy prone, and sensitive dog? She is already getting fiber and she sometimes gets probiotic with her food.
8 votes -
Idaho drops panel investigating pregnancy-related deaths as US maternal mortality surges
83 votes -
Thirteen factors that build a healthy relationship
10 votes -
Three Texas plaintiffs testified about the trauma they experienced being required to carry nonviable pregnancies due to the Texas abortion ban
55 votes -
How does the new over-the-counter birth control pill, Opill, work to prevent pregnancy?
16 votes -
Hustle culture kills happiness. Here’s how to escape it. | Laurie Santos
9 votes -
The book To Dye For: How Toxic Fashion Is Making Us Sick by Alden Wicker explores public health and fast fashion
6 votes -
Reasons why a cat might be peeing on the rug
12 votes -
I hired five people to sit behind me and make me productive for a month
66 votes