Gaywallet's recent activity

  1. Comment on A variety of beginner home server questions in ~comp

    Gaywallet
    Link
    To address your questions: You can configure your router to use your pihole as the DNS server. This will block the majority of ads to your devices, but likely not all of them. This is because some...

    To address your questions:

    1. You can configure your router to use your pihole as the DNS server. This will block the majority of ads to your devices, but likely not all of them. This is because some devices will send outbound requests on port 53 to defined DNS servers and bypassing your defined network DNS. The parts you're seeing online about needing to set up your device between the internet and your devices are methods to block outbound port 53 requests. The right router and custom firmware can stop this if you care enough about it. You could have your NAS do this, but I would highly suggest you do not put your NAS direct to the internet and instead have a router manage this.
    2. Synology will likely have plenty of out of the box tools to help with this. If they don't, someone's likely dockerized whatever software you need and you can run a container on your NAS or server to accomplish this and you don't need to really understand networking.
    3. Wifi + hdmi sticks is your solution here. Firestick, chromecast, roku, whatever will serve your media to your display easily. To do this you need to run plex (or another media server) on your NAS/server but it's pretty easy to set up, as it's basically just another docker container that you configure/run.
    2 votes

  4. Comment on The tech baron seeking to “ethnically cleanse” San Francisco in ~life

    Gaywallet
    Link
    Reds, blues, and grays? Gray pride parade? This boy is absolutely unhinged. What is it with tech moguls and being 13 year old boys at heart? I mean I know a lot of it is having access to way too...

    Reds, blues, and grays? Gray pride parade? This boy is absolutely unhinged. What is it with tech moguls and being 13 year old boys at heart? I mean I know a lot of it is having access to way too much capital and being surrounded by yes men, but is there more to it than that? Is it because tech is so populated by bros and heavily insulated? Even as someone who lives in SF and has spent most of their life in silicon valley it confuses me.

    27 votes

  6. Comment on How GM tricked millions of drivers into being spied on (including me) (gifted link) in ~transport

    Gaywallet
    Link
    We are so overdue for some basic regulation on what information can be bought or sold about people, or at the very least a consumer-readable notice or warning which describes all the information...

    We are so overdue for some basic regulation on what information can be bought or sold about people, or at the very least a consumer-readable notice or warning which describes all the information that's being collected and allowing the consumer to opt-out of the collection of specific elements at any point in time. The ability to have them delete information they have collected about you or to refuse to let them share that information with anyone else would be nice too. You know, basic GDPR kind of stuff.

    10 votes

  7. Comment on I don't think I'm 'grokking' how the fediverse works. (Or at least, how following federated accounts works) in ~tech

    Gaywallet
    Link
    Lemmy and Mastodon both use activity pub in the back end, but are very different platforms. The former is basically a stand-in reddit replacement and the latter a twitter one. Following a lemmy...

    Lemmy and Mastodon both use activity pub in the back end, but are very different platforms. The former is basically a stand-in reddit replacement and the latter a twitter one. Following a lemmy community on mastodon won't work as nicely as you might expect, as the platforms don't use exactly the same pieces of information in exactly the same ways - since functionality is different some pieces of information get lost or ignored.

    16 votes

  8. Comment on Detransition is gender liberation, too - Here's to never being satisfied and forever changing in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Hello friend 😄💜 It took me a long time to adopt the labels that I have, and a lot had to do with the lack of representation I saw. Agender is a pretty rare label, and I ran into a vanishingly...

    Hello friend 😄💜

    It took me a long time to adopt the labels that I have, and a lot had to do with the lack of representation I saw. Agender is a pretty rare label, and I ran into a vanishingly small number of people who used the label so it was really hard for me to know what it was meant to represent! I agree that sharing our perspectives are freeing and important to others, which this article made me think a bit about. Regardless of how difficult it may be for others to understand or accept my lived experience, it might also help others like myself, years ago, who are looking to understand themselves or find representation out there that matches, at least on some level, their own experience.

    5 votes

  9. Comment on Detransition is gender liberation, too - Here's to never being satisfied and forever changing in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I really wish stories like yours weren't so hard for so many others to hear, because they are important stories, especially for people who might be...

    Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I really wish stories like yours weren't so hard for so many others to hear, because they are important stories, especially for people who might be going through similar doubts or issues.

    6 votes

  10. Comment on Detransition is gender liberation, too - Here's to never being satisfied and forever changing in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link
    I work for an academic medical center that's fairly well known both locally and in the world. However, we haven't been known for stellar queer health. In fact, I'd say we've been lacking, quite a...

    I work for an academic medical center that's fairly well known both locally and in the world. However, we haven't been known for stellar queer health. In fact, I'd say we've been lacking, quite a bit. Recently the school put on a talk about the medical needs of people who have detransitioned and even featured a speaker who had themselves detransitioned. It was an absolutely fascinating talk, which highlighted some of the trends they have been seeing, talked about the many reasons that people tend to detransition (mostly social pressures, as described by Devon in the piece) and talked rather frankly about the kind of online harassment these individuals had experienced for detransitioning. It was really sad to hear about the harassment, although unfortunately not something that surprised me.

    Having been in plenty of online trans spaces, it's been clear to me that there are a lot of people out there struggling and many of them can lash out at others for plenty of extremely valid reasons. Being trans means you're constantly under attack - people invalidate your experience which prompts defense, but perhaps more importantly one often has to fight tooth and nail and expend significant resources in order to get access to medical care which in many cases can be life saving. People often convince themselves that access is more prevalent if they fall into certain boxes. Trans medicalism is one such example, a viewpoint in which advocates distill transgenderism into a very medical definition. It's entirely an issue of nature, with no nurture component, and it has well defined symptoms and resolutions. Trans medicalism is almost always purely binary and assumes there is an "ideal" endpoint of transitioning. What this often means, is that trans medicalists will attack people who don't agree with their viewpoint and make the argument that promoting any other viewpoint or life experiences will result in jeopardizing their access to already limited medical care.

    Trans medicalists causing infighting in the transgender field is just one such example from these trans spaces where infighting (and outsiders attacking) happens and there's some level of harassment. Luckily there's a lot of folks who will back you up if you are attacked by these folks who are often deeply scared and hurting, but there's a lot less support for folks who talk about detransitioning. Detransitioning highlights the fact that there are folks who will undergo some level of transitioning and regret it and reverse course. This makes the idea of transitioning scary to cis folks, and it also gives them a reason to gatekeep it, at least until adulthood, an idea which can be catastrophic given the high suicide rates of trans folks, especially those who are young and watching their body change in ways which cause serious distress. However, the literature reveals that the vast majority of folks who do detransition do so because of social pressures (averaging around 80% of the primary reason and >90% of folks citing it as at least one of the reasons) which reinforces the narrative that social acceptance of trans folks is the most important factor to their success. Regardless, the perceived invalidation of transness (that some people could choose to reverse course) means that folks who try and talk about their experience of detransitioning often get attacked online.

    It would be difficult to talk about the harassment that detransitioning folks get online without also addressing that there's a weirdly large number of people making up personas online as a way to push their political agenda. Having moderated transgender spaces online, I have personally witnessed individuals who come back, time and time again, and spread a false story about detransitioning. I say that it's a false story because some of these individuals have been discovered to post elsewhere on the internet about the this behavior and celebrating the fact that they are sowing discord. In fact, this happens so often, that in many trans spaces I've been in online, they either explicitly ban or more discreetly clean up this kind of noise, likely catching some folks who truly did transition and were not indulging a false persona online.

    This was the first time I had even spotted an academic talk on detransitioning and it really signaled to me the beginning of acceptance and the emergence of a group from the shadows where they have been shoved, and to stumble across an article like this from a well known semi-public trans figure was really amazing for me to see. A lot of the narratives that Devon brought forth in this post highlight a lot of the struggles that trans folks deal with and puts words to some of the tough ideas we'll need to struggle with as a society and as an in-group (a call to action for trans folks to more vocally/actively support detransitioning). It also highlights some more non-traditional paths and viewpoints on gender. As someone who is both non-binary and agender, I personally resonated with a lot that Devon brings to the table here. I don't often talk very vocally about my own experience because I've both experienced and worry about the push back that narratives like mine and Devon's can garner. For example, being agender, I don't experience gender based feelings - gender dysphoria and euphoria are both things I do not experience. Many people might question why I decided to transition in the first place, and my answer might also be wholly unconvincing to many.

    I suspect this subset of individuals is going to be thrust into the limelight (they already have, at times, by journalism and political forces) more presently, especially as we begin to better address their health needs. Mental health, especially given the amount of harassment they receive or the need to conceal their detransitioning, seems to be especially prescient. I'm glad that we have some figures such as Devon speaking out about their experience, and helping to draw attention to all the nuances that go into one's decision to transition and how the experience itself can be a lot messier than the media makes it out to be.

    7 votes

  13. Comment on Laziness does not exist in ~humanities

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Thanks for linking that article specifically, I missed that and it fucking rules so much I love it.

    Thanks for linking that article specifically, I missed that and it fucking rules so much I love it.

    1 vote

  14. Comment on The troubling trend in teenage sex (it's strangulation) (gifted link) in ~life

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    I'm not so sure the author understands neuroscience very well or they're purposefully being misleading (I suspect the latter). A few high level issues I see with the way the author is framing...

    I'm not so sure the author understands neuroscience very well or they're purposefully being misleading (I suspect the latter). A few high level issues I see with the way the author is framing these studies:

    1. There are at least two different articles by the same set of authors being cited here. The article on cortical thickening is separate from the article on memory tasks.
    2. The article on memory tasks found no difference in accuracy or speed of recall tasks. Framing it as 'their brains had to work harder' is dishonest at best and potentially misleading. I'm inclined to think the latter given that the author doesn't mention this is a separate paper than the one being referenced in the last sentence.
    3. Both of these papers have rather small n sizes, very clearly state that this is correlational and not casual, and as far as I can tell so not screen for domestic violence outside of the framing of asking whether they experienced 'consensual choking'. They also don't screen for drug abuse (outside of alcohol) and the group which reported being choked had higher values reported on the PHQ9, GAD and AUDIT meaning they had more depression, more anxiety, most notably more alcohol use disorder.
    4. It's well known that alcohol use disorder is associated with increased critical thickness, the same finding they report with the group which has a higher alcohol use disorder screening score (p = 0.012).
    5. There are also significant differences in other demographics between the two groups, which I will mention again are very small (n=14, n=19).

    At best this is exploratory research and the author doesn't frame it that way. You really shouldn't draw any conclusions from the papers referenced in the text you quoted.

    24 votes

  15. Comment on The troubling trend in teenage sex (it's strangulation) (gifted link) in ~life

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Oh yeah absolutely. I think there's always merit in discussing sex and sexuality in more depth. But also relationships- what's healthy and what isn't is often modeled on what we're presented with....

    Oh yeah absolutely. I think there's always merit in discussing sex and sexuality in more depth. But also relationships- what's healthy and what isn't is often modeled on what we're presented with. I received close to no education on how to analyze a relationship for problems. I received no education on how relationships can differ in healthy ways. We teach vanishingly little psychology and human behavior to children so when they're presented with complex relationships where there's both love and maladjusted behavior it's really hard to know when it's harmful or how to approach the bad behavior.

    13 votes

  16. Comment on The troubling trend in teenage sex (it's strangulation) (gifted link) in ~life

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Worse yet, it's infantilizing women. They can't distinguish when they're being hurt or loved? I don't buy it, women aren't stupid.

    Worse yet, it's infantilizing women. They can't distinguish when they're being hurt or loved? I don't buy it, women aren't stupid.

    29 votes

  17. Comment on Anyone here suffering from low testosterone? in ~health

    Gaywallet
    Link
    I was diagnosed with secondary hypogonadism in my late 20s and was on TRT for awhile. My numbers looked fairly similar to your most recent labs, but I was a bit younger. I pushed for TRT because I...

    I was diagnosed with secondary hypogonadism in my late 20s and was on TRT for awhile. My numbers looked fairly similar to your most recent labs, but I was a bit younger. I pushed for TRT because I was getting hot flashes, needed two coffees in the afternoon to stay awake and my depression was really acting up. Testosterone resolved them. My narrative is going to counter the hesitancy you're seeing from other people- I felt so much better running on higher levels of testosterone. My energy felt better than it ever was, I struggled a lot less with body fat (I had body dysmorphia so I was constantly in single digit body fat because I lifted a lot, ate healthy and was a bit obsessive about it) and most of my problems went away.

    I also ended up embracing my femininity a lot more during this time frame and decided to give estrogen a try after being on TRT for like 1-1.5 years since I was gonna be on hormones the rest of my life anyways and wanted to see how it felt. Estrogen ended up feeling more right for me (finally felt like I had more control over my sex drive and I stopped caring so much about my appearance- the BDD went away) so I ended up staying on estrogen.

    I think the only piece of advice I really have is to pay attention to the symptoms that are bothering you. If it's mostly just about the absolute numbers you shouldn't do anything. But if you're experiencing symptoms you should look into what can be done to alleviate the symptoms. If libido is the only thing you're feeling is decreasing, that's pretty normal with age. If it comes with ED, just get a low dose Cialis for daily consumption. If it's more than that, talk with your doctor and troubleshoot what drugs feel like the right risk and reward profile for you. Getting on hormones means you'll be on them for the rest of your life and that's not something you should take lightly.

    3 votes

  18. Comment on Laziness does not exist in ~humanities

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    It sounds like you made up your mind before even reading the article. There really isn't anything to engage with in this comment other than your opinions on who these people are and the dismissal...

    It sounds like you made up your mind before even reading the article. There really isn't anything to engage with in this comment other than your opinions on who these people are and the dismissal of their struggles as moral failures. It's upsetting to me to hear this kind of dismissal of fellow human beings.

    37 votes