Gaywallet's recent activity

  2. Comment on California Governor Gavin Newsom "completely aligns" with Charlie Kirk on trans athlete issue, and agreed about restricting gender affirming care for prisoners and youths, in podcast in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    I'll probably get in trouble for this, but frankly speaking, adequate moderation is the solution. But that's not going to happen, because there is a fundamental mismatch between what is an...
    • Exemplary

    I've seen this repeated so many times in the ~lgbt section on Tildes that I don't know what the solution is.

    I'll probably get in trouble for this, but frankly speaking, adequate moderation is the solution. But that's not going to happen, because there is a fundamental mismatch between what is an acceptable amount of "asking questions" on Tildes. Years ago I tried to address this specific issue more broadly as I also saw men entering threads about sexism to decry "not all men" and white folks entering threads on POC troubles to debate the merits of affirmative action or whether 'black lives matter' or 'defund the police' are "the right messaging".

    There's two problems at play here. The first is fragility, and an inability for folks to see words which theoretically could include them as anything but a direct attack on them. When the thread is talking about sex offenders and someone makes a statement about men and you are not a sex offender, the statement is not directed at you and coming into the thread to mention this does nothing but make the space hostile to minorities.

    The second is that on the continuum between absolute free speech and safe space, Tildes frankly isn't very far towards the safe space side. Tildes does a great job at keeping out the obvious nazis, but I've seen my fair share of problematic users who don't get removed for a very long time until they finally create enough drama to get kicked out or slip up on how they word things. To be clear, not all users need to be removed, and in the case we're talking about here it's more about deleting comments which are noise, distracting, or frankly just people rehashing the same tired old discussion. Every single lgbt person in this thread likely has a resource list of scientific papers, websites, blogs, etc. touching on this issue and a half dozen other ones that always get brought up and explicit recognition of this and moderation to keep this place a bit more on the safe space side would go a long way to making this less exhausting to queer folks and make them less likely to flee this website. Threads like these always devolve into the minority doing the heavy lifting of educating the majority who think they know a thing or two about the issue and who are quite frankly arrogant enough to think they are an expert.

    15 votes

  3. Comment on California Governor Gavin Newsom "completely aligns" with Charlie Kirk on trans athlete issue, and agreed about restricting gender affirming care for prisoners and youths, in podcast in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    I think it's worth noting that not a single trans person brought up the trans sports issue. Every single comment was about the general lack of support. The only people in here trying to litigate...

    I'm hope no one feels I'm attacking this community

    I think it's worth noting that not a single trans person brought up the trans sports issue. Every single comment was about the general lack of support. The only people in here trying to litigate what's okay and what's not are not trans or lgbt folks.

    Notably, your comment also lacks any positive encouragement, any explicit sympathy towards trans folks or any recognition of anything else discussed in the article. In isolation, it would be difficult for someone to read your comment and have any idea whether you are an ally or not.

    I would also mention that your comment ignores the other conversations on the exact same subject which are making more or less the same points you are. Why does it need to be restated multiple times throughout these comments?

    I encourage you to ask yourself whether you think that might make folks feel like they are being attacked?

    To be clear here, I know nothing about you and I'm not making any judgements about you, I'm just trying to help you understand how this thread might make a trans person feel. Now take whatever feeling you think they might have and amplify it by the endless news coverage of how trans people are losing rights, losing passports and being persecuted in the United States right now and add that anxiety and fear into their lens of perception and current emotional state.

    13 votes

  4. Comment on California Governor Gavin Newsom "completely aligns" with Charlie Kirk on trans athlete issue, and agreed about restricting gender affirming care for prisoners and youths, in podcast in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Given that doping is a much more prevalent and pervasive issue in competitive sports than trans individuals, it seems rather strange to me to focus so heavily on trans folks. There are also plenty...

    So it's not about cis people dominating every space as much as the fear that a space that cis women can even exist at a competitive level won't exist at all.

    Given that doping is a much more prevalent and pervasive issue in competitive sports than trans individuals, it seems rather strange to me to focus so heavily on trans folks. There are also plenty of developmental and genetic influences that can be considered unfair, and which also objectively provide a much stronger benefit to performance than having gone through puberty in a "male" body (given at least 1-2 years of estrogen therapy prior to entry into women's sports). In many cases the athletes never went through puberty because they were on blockers, but that's strangely absent from a blanket ban. There's also essentially zero focus and very little about trans men in these discussions.

    I put "male" in quotes because there are plenty of intersex individuals and plenty of variation in terms of what puberty looks like for folks who are assigned male at birth.

    As an aside, it's not surprising this thread has turned into yet another debate about trans athletes in sports. There's a lot more going on in the article than the title, and this is the ~lgbt community. It's rather tiring to have to engage in these discussions every single time. It sometimes feels like this community exists just to be attacked and that's rather depressing.

    13 votes

  5. Comment on California Governor Gavin Newsom "completely aligns" with Charlie Kirk on trans athlete issue, and agreed about restricting gender affirming care for prisoners and youths, in podcast in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Notably, there also aren't AMAB and intersex folks going through everything required to become a trans woman just to sexually harass women in bathrooms. There are quite literally more republican...

    There are not a bunch of men going through everything required to become a trans woman just so they can dominate women's sports. That does not happen.

    Notably, there also aren't AMAB and intersex folks going through everything required to become a trans woman just to sexually harass women in bathrooms. There are quite literally more republican legislators who have been arrested for harassing women in bathrooms than trans women.

    Unfortunately, this doesn't stop legislation - there are bathroom laws in many states.

    13 votes

  7. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Yeah honestly it's a minor nitpick; I agree with your analysis

    Yeah honestly it's a minor nitpick; I agree with your analysis

  8. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Thanks for tagging me and chiming in with your experience! I resonate strongly with both your moving and irking moments. thoughts I think a lot of the parent's narratives (and their parents...

    Thanks for tagging me and chiming in with your experience! I resonate strongly with both your moving and irking moments.

    thoughts I think a lot of the parent's narratives (and their parents narratives) on the protests were some of the best dialogue in the game. There were certainly some story-lines and characters which I just couldn't resonate with at all, but none of the characters felt as if they were too one-dimensional or couldn't exist - they just made very different decisions than I could ever see myself making. Some of these characters irked me, but nothing irked me as much as the epilogue for the same reasons you mention - it felt either forced (executives maybe?) or rushed and I'm not sure which. Either way it really didn't land with me, albeit the choices I wanted to make happened to more or less be the 'best' ending answers anyways and felt like they resonated strongly with the morals of the storytelling. If you ignore the illusion of choice (as you mentioned some answers literally force you to restart) or view the ending as a statement on the illusion of choice it feels a little bit more palatable to me.
    2 votes

  10. Comment on HP ditches mandatory fifteen-minute wait time policy due to 'feedback' in ~tech

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Do you really think a 15 minute wait is going to stop someone complaining about a spider in the garden? It strikes me that the kind of person who does this is desperately seeking for social...

    Do you really think a 15 minute wait is going to stop someone complaining about a spider in the garden? It strikes me that the kind of person who does this is desperately seeking for social connections, as they are lacking in them. Some may just be prone to complain because they are privileged and used to being coddled, but I suspect for many it comes from a place of loneliness more than anything else.

    1 vote

  11. Comment on HP ditches mandatory fifteen-minute wait time policy due to 'feedback' in ~tech

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Google search is way more likely to just serve you ads these days, but if anyone has had any luck finding these sequences of numbers I'd love to know what terms you used or which search you used...

    Google search is way more likely to just serve you ads these days, but if anyone has had any luck finding these sequences of numbers I'd love to know what terms you used or which search you used to get them. I often struggle trying to find the support number at all these days since everyone wants you to use chat or email first, let alone finding the golden key like this.

    14 votes

  14. Comment on Worried about my US treasury bills in ~society

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    I think a larger sum belongs to old money than new. On the global scale, surely more is old and most countries are already fighting US tariffs and other issues. But ultimately we're just...

    I think a larger sum belongs to old money than new. On the global scale, surely more is old and most countries are already fighting US tariffs and other issues. But ultimately we're just hypothesizing here... who knows, we'll have to see how this all plays out.

    1 vote

  15. Comment on Worried about my US treasury bills in ~society

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Oh there's definitely uncertainty right now, a certain amount is good for those who are rich because they can sell and short and move stuff around... but in order to shuffle money like that they...

    Oh there's definitely uncertainty right now, a certain amount is good for those who are rich because they can sell and short and move stuff around... but in order to shuffle money like that they need stable long term investments to fall back into. If uncertainty gets too high, they will make moves. But of course, that is just my opinion of things, I may be too optimistic on how much turmoil will be tolerated.

    4 votes

  16. Comment on Worried about my US treasury bills in ~society

    Gaywallet
    Link
    If there's one thing the billionaires are interested in, it's not crashing global markets. I guarantee you that if Trump or anyone on his team threatens their ability to make money, he will feel...

    If there's one thing the billionaires are interested in, it's not crashing global markets. I guarantee you that if Trump or anyone on his team threatens their ability to make money, he will feel their force. The one thing you should never worry about is the US's ability to make money on a global scale. Some uncertainty is fine, perhaps even good for investment. Uncertainty in a stable resource can crash markets however, and I doubt the elite are on board with that.

    13 votes

  17. Comment on US President Donald Trump to issue executive orders to end birthright citizenship, limit gender identity — incoming official in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    I hope you understand that I'm not attacking or making any judgements about you in particular. The point of my reply was to remind you (and anyone else reading this) that this is a shared space....

    I hope you understand that I'm not attacking or making any judgements about you in particular. The point of my reply was to remind you (and anyone else reading this) that this is a shared space. There are others here, and we should do our best to have empathy towards them. This means that we need to balance our own feelings against the feelings of all others in the space! We need to consider that what's fine to us may not be fine to others, and we should anticipate the needs of those in our community. A healthy community takes care of the folks who are in most need, and right now this space needs to make room for those who have been repeatedly under attack and who are tired, afraid, and upset.

    Please don't pattern match me to a type of guy you've encountered before

    To be clear, I'm not pattern matching you to anyone. I apologize if I gave off that idea. I'm just trying to do my best to attend to the needs of the folks I'm most worried about right now and because I have the energy right now, that means speaking up on behalf of them.

    11 votes

  19. Comment on US President Donald Trump to issue executive orders to end birthright citizenship, limit gender identity — incoming official in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    Before I say anything I want to mention that this isn't meant as an attack and I'm happy that folks have stepped in to help educate you and that you're interested in educating yourself, as this is...
    • Exemplary

    I feel like we're quibbling over details

    Before I say anything I want to mention that this isn't meant as an attack and I'm happy that folks have stepped in to help educate you and that you're interested in educating yourself, as this is an important and admirable quality!

    But I also want to bring your attention to the fact that you are explicitly in the LGBT group, posting in a thread about a political action which is erasing and directly attacking folks. There are folks in here who are scared, upset, and who are facing dire consequences on behalf of a hateful act by a person in power. I would encourage you to think carefully about set and setting - where particular discussions are relevant and appropriate, when discussions should happen in the open as opposed to in private, and also about how much time and effort you should spend to educate yourself first, before asking to be educated by others, especially those who are likely currently emotionally drained and exhausted.

    27 votes

  20. Comment on US President Donald Trump to issue executive orders to end birthright citizenship, limit gender identity — incoming official in ~lgbt

    Gaywallet
    Link Parent
    You're not wrong, and they have wormed their way into many branches of the government. How things are supposed to work and how things are actually working are two different things, but many of...

    You're not wrong, and they have wormed their way into many branches of the government. How things are supposed to work and how things are actually working are two different things, but many of those "aligned" with him are not interested in dismantling the government in the same ways. Much of this will meet legal challenges and a lot of this won't stand. But some will and it's a major blow for sure, I'm just trying to set the stage for what it is the reasonable range of things happening - certainly not everything in this document and certainly not none.

    3 votes