Gaywallet's recent activity
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
Gaywallet Link ParentThat's not what I said at all and I don't feel like you've been treating what I've been saying in good faith. A hugely important point! and something we should talk a lot about, but we're talking...treating all men as potential threats
That's not what I said at all and I don't feel like you've been treating what I've been saying in good faith.
why don't you also mention systemic sexism?
A hugely important point! and something we should talk a lot about, but we're talking specifically about sexual predation here and important information for people to have.
When the vast majority of men are not predators, it's ridiculous to paint them all and make all of them suffer
That's not what I'm arguing at all, and I never did. I really don't like you painting my intentions with a broad brush or attributing malice to what I'm saying just because there are bad actors out there who do.
The solution is not more stereotyping!
Can you please help me understand where I suggested that we should be stereotyping individuals? Or that we should be attributing cause or intent to specific individuals based on observations of statistics? I'm at a loss from where you got this intent out of my replies.
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
Gaywallet Link ParentThat's really not a fair analogy because "science" done in that way is done with clear bias aimed at increasing racism. It also doesn't play out unless we're talking about crime statistics, and...That's really not a fair analogy because "science" done in that way is done with clear bias aimed at increasing racism. It also doesn't play out unless we're talking about crime statistics, and clear literature shows that's an outcome of systemic racism and choosing to incarcerate black men, for example, at higher rates. It's entirely unfair to paint this as a right wing talking point, because for one right wing people do not quote male violent crime statistics (they are targeted at the groups they are being bigoted towards), but more importantly this is about protecting people from real tangible harms that we can measure and have done a pretty good job of eliminating bias around. It's an unfortunate reality of the world and likely mostly a side effect of the patriarchy and cultural norms but being dismissive of protecting people from reality to save the feelings of men seems rather short-sighted to me.
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
Gaywallet Link ParentOh okay, yea that's totally understandable... but it also seems impossible to escape for literally any human? There will always be someone who hates my group and thus gives me the opportunity to...I’m saying that being able to climb no higher than “one of the good ones” sucks, and in light of that I’d rather not be part of the group at all. But that’s not an option, nor is ceasing to use “men” as a categorical grouping at all, so I don’t really have a conclusion.
Oh okay, yea that's totally understandable... but it also seems impossible to escape for literally any human? There will always be someone who hates my group and thus gives me the opportunity to be "one of the good ones", no matter what that group is. That group could be something I was simply born with (like gender or race) or it could be something more innocuous like the fact that I enjoy pineapple on pizza. Perhaps it's because I'm autistic, but I don't really see the difference between the various characteristics that one could be discriminated against by as making any one characteristic more unique or more hurtful, but I do agree that it certainly doesn't feel good for others to have such limited views of the world, strong preconceptions, or simply be wording things in a way that hurts on first brush.
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
Gaywallet Link ParentI certainly don't have the entire context, but it sounds like they were being some level of vulnerable with you? Like if they thought you were exhibiting this behavior or bore any responsibility...After reflection, I think the criticism I got from third parties had more to do with general bad man behaviors that I don't feel I was exhibiting, but ended up bearing the responsibility for anyway. But for weeks after the criticism, I felt hurt because.. what did I as an individual do wrong?
I certainly don't have the entire context, but it sounds like they were being some level of vulnerable with you? Like if they thought you were exhibiting this behavior or bore any responsibility for it, they probably wouldn't have shared this information with you? It sounds like you feel like a safe space for them to vent about something that was bothering them. It sucks that there happens to be an overlap with your identity, but I genuinely think they may not have been even considering that when they vented.
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
Gaywallet Link ParentIt's complicated, because that attribute is important in the context of building awareness and arming women with the knowledge they need to prepare, defend, and ward themselves from sexual...And since that’s always going to be the case with grouping on a characteristic or attribute rather than an action, maybe talking about the actions in the context of the attribute isn’t a great thing to do?
It's complicated, because that attribute is important in the context of building awareness and arming women with the knowledge they need to prepare, defend, and ward themselves from sexual predation. As I stated elsewhere in my comment, I think the devil is in the details here, and I think you bring up the crux of the problem well when you stated the following:
The top comment was a thoughtful and heartfelt one that strongly acknowledged the genuine harm done by some men, but expressed sadness for what this means about the perception of male sexuality.
Balanced messaging and hedging are extremely important, at least in my view, when we make any statements that are negative about a group of individuals. I hate that we need to state it because it's simply not what the words are saying, but we do need to state "not all men" when we talk about the statistically average man and the same is true when we talk about any other group and broad statistical trends. This can be sidestepped, at times, by contrasting pros and cons as the author at the top did and you highlighted, as it's another way to recognize that it's a complicated issue and we're trying to focus in on the problems rather than the individuals and we're not interested in placing blame anywhere so much as we are trying to discuss a complex topic.
However, I disagree with your following take:
a direct reply about the statistics absolutely didn’t read as an effort to protect or educate those who can benefit from knowing the information. It read as, essentially, “no, people are right to have a negative view of male sexuality and these numbers prove it, we’ve got to just live with that”.
because their comment on statistics is immediately followed by the following text
Of course most men are not predators
This seems to be exactly the counter-balancing you asked for in your replies, yet it seems to either have gone wholly unnoticed or it wasn't enough. Which makes me wonder, how could they have changed their messaging? Did they not hedge their comment enough for you to realize they aren't throwing all men under the bus? Did they need to expand their viewpoint in more depth for you to realize they are talking about the problem and not the individual and that they are not trying to cast blame on you or any men in specific but rather statistically characterizing the problem?
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
Gaywallet Link ParentThank you for your perspective. I agree that we need to be paying attention to the balance of messaging when and where we can.Thank you for your perspective. I agree that we need to be paying attention to the balance of messaging when and where we can.
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Comment on The Buff Scammer, isolation, and the male loneliness epidemic in ~life.men
Gaywallet Link ParentCurious to hear your thoughts on similar veins of thought. Does it hurt to be reminded that you descend from individuals who've killed other humans to steal their land and resources? Does it hurt...- Exemplary
It just hurts to so often be reminded that the group we're part of, whether we want to be or not, is the bad group.
Curious to hear your thoughts on similar veins of thought. Does it hurt to be reminded that you descend from individuals who've killed other humans to steal their land and resources? Does it hurt to be reminded that your government is responsible for the murder of untold numbers of civilians? That it used to condone slavery? That it had periods of time of deep regression, sexism, racism, homophobia? That it may have interfered with the governance of other countries, or gone to war and killed them? Does it hurt to be reminded that you are a member of humanity, which has committed countless untold atrocities on other humans and life on this planet? Where does the line stop - how close to the group do you have to be for it to be painful that there are bad actors?
If being reminded of that is a price we have to pay to counter the actual, larger, systematic harms then it's a price I'd absolutely say is worth paying. But I don't know if it is a necessity.
In the context it was brought up here, it was an explanation for why women in particular, who suffer proportionally excessive sexual crime, are taught to keep an eye on and be wary of men specifically as a defensive mechanism to protect themselves. Would you rather we not educate women on how to keep themselves safe in order to prevent men from being hurt by the reminder that the group they are part of commits more sexual crimes? I'm genuinely interested if you have any notes on how to improve this interaction, because some women need to understand the gravity of threat in order to treat it as an actual threat.
To be clear here, I have sympathy for the feelings of hurt that come along with being confronted with statistics and sayings like the ones mentioned above. I understand why it pushes some men to become reactionary and fall down altright rabbit holes. But I also don't think it's fair to blame that on the statements themselves, drawing attention away from the malicious actors in the space- the organized altright domestic terrorist grooming circles which have existed for decades. It is absolutely right, however, to point out that we need to be careful about how we approach these topics and that we are cognizant of the atmosphere the dominance of negatively framed statements can have on the psyche of a fragile individual. We need to be careful to balance messaging with positively framed statements if we are trying to work towards a future in which we can both recognize systemic harm, arm individuals with the information they need to defend and protect themselves, and teach young men how to be more resilient to toxic violent messaging.
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Comment on Jimmy Kimmel to return to ABC on Tuesday after show’s controversial suspension in ~tv
Gaywallet Link ParentIt would be a good bit to donate exactly $.02 thoughI feel confident Kimmel would not do such a thing, but goddamn. That's... really something.
It would be a good bit to donate exactly $.02 though
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Comment on Weekly US politics news and updates thread - week of September 22 in ~society
Gaywallet Link ParentI mean, that's entirely Trump's MO and it always has been. He sets up houses of cards, robs everyone beneath him and lets them collapse. He even managed to bankrupt a casino (and made a lot of...it's mind boggling how the administration has managed to screw over just about everybody
I mean, that's entirely Trump's MO and it always has been. He sets up houses of cards, robs everyone beneath him and lets them collapse. He even managed to bankrupt a casino (and made a lot of money doing it)! I am entirely unsurprised that his style of business/capitalism has continued to flourish and thrive in an increasingly deregulated environment and that he's doing this to the entire American public.
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US FBI readies new war on trans people
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Comment on Charlie Kirk shooting: US President Donald Trump says suspect in custody in ~society
Gaywallet Link ParentBecause they already are? I don't see how this changes anything.Why do I get the feeling that furries, gamers, radical leftists and the LGBTQ community are going to come under the Trump administration's crosshairs?
Because they already are? I don't see how this changes anything.
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Comment on We risk a deluge of AI-written ‘science’ pushing corporate interests in ~science
Gaywallet Link ParentYup, that's why a lot of more prestigious journals have moved to this model. But there's still plenty of large journals out there which don't require it. Or they'll preregister with a dozen...Preregistration would discourage that sort of blatant gaming where they fund lots of studies
Yup, that's why a lot of more prestigious journals have moved to this model. But there's still plenty of large journals out there which don't require it. Or they'll preregister with a dozen different journals and just publish the ones with the finding they want. It's hard to prove anyone is doing this, but you could also just run 20 studies when you preregister only 1 and trash the data from the rest - if they all have the same methodology and you're just hoping to hit statistical chance, how would anyone know any better?
It seems like it would be hard to keep secret even without preregistration, if there are a lot of people involved in these studies?
I mean like, it's completely normal to just not publish if you find nothing of note and you're backed by a corporation. When we think of academia they publish with no findings because the funding has already been secured and there's no reason for them not to but ultimately if a company gets to decides whether you publish or not because they control your pay and thus what you work on (they instruct you to spend your time on another research project and not publishing/finishing up a paper), there's really few mechanisms to control this.
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Comment on We risk a deluge of AI-written ‘science’ pushing corporate interests in ~science
Gaywallet LinkThis is just one of the many far reaching effects of the disinformation age we are headed into. It would not surprise me if, in the future (assuming humanity survives our climate crisis), this...This is just one of the many far reaching effects of the disinformation age we are headed into. It would not surprise me if, in the future (assuming humanity survives our climate crisis), this period of time will be contrasted with the middle ages as periods of great loss of human knowledge.
For what it’s worth, a lot of what the article is bringing up isn’t particularly new. Fake studies are nothing new, but the scope of them will definitely increase. While it is manpower intensive, this is easily solved by peer review. In fact, perhaps ironically, AI could be used to do a first-pass review before and summarize what seems like it was AI created versus human created and send that along to a human.
Corporation funded studies designed to get around regulation or to promote their product, on the other hand, is something we’ve been dealing with for quite some time and an issue we haven’t really solved as a society. Anyone who works in science knows how to spot these from a mile away because they’re nearly always published in tiny journals (low citation score) which either don’t do peer review or have shady guidelines. The richer companies have the money to simply run 40 or 50 studies concurrently and toss the data from every one that doesn’t have the outcome they’re looking for (in essence repeatedly rolling a d20 until they get a 20) which allows them to get their findings into a bigger journal because it’s all done above board. Some larger publishing journals have created guidelines to try and fight this, but ultimately you need meta-analyses and other researchers to disprove what’s going on, and that’s fairly costly.
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We risk a deluge of AI-written ‘science’ pushing corporate interests
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Comment on Donald Trump Department of Justice is looking at ways to ban transgender Americans from owning guns, sources say in ~lgbt
Gaywallet Link ParentYeah, this is nothing new. They used legislation to try and disarm the black panthers not all that long ago in our history. If you go back further, it's quite easy to find plenty of legislation...You see it in the attitudes toward police behavior as well: A black man with a gun? "Cops should assume he's a gangster and shoot on sight."
Yeah, this is nothing new. They used legislation to try and disarm the black panthers not all that long ago in our history. If you go back further, it's quite easy to find plenty of legislation that was significantly more extreme, some going so far as to allow white people to enter homes and take guns from black folk.
With all that being said, it does appear that even the NRA is planning to fight this... so while the cognitive dissonance is often quite real on the right, it appears consistency isn't entirely lost on all of them.
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Donald Trump Department of Justice is looking at ways to ban transgender Americans from owning guns, sources say
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An AI social coach is teaching empathy to people with autism
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US President Donald Trump supporters report higher levels of psychopathy, manipulativeness, callousness, and narcissism
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Comment on US Food and Drug Administration limits approval for new coronavirus vaccines to high-risk people in ~health
Gaywallet Link ParentFrankly speaking I don't think many of the folks pushing these policies are smart enough to even understand genetics. However, it does clearly come from a place of establishing superiority of a...Frankly speaking I don't think many of the folks pushing these policies are smart enough to even understand genetics. However, it does clearly come from a place of establishing superiority of a particular kind of person, and that person is undeniably white, straight, and male. I think they will happily use genetic arguments when they can and when it happens to fit the conversation (we've already seen stuff like phrenology being used by the alt-right) but its less intellectually charged than that - it's based more in feelings than science, so we have to think a bit more broadly on what a term like eugenics is trying to capture. That is to say, they're using all of the same arguments around a 'genetically pure' population but because they are also simultaneously discrediting science as a whole they aren't using quite the same arguments that the Nazi's did 100 years ago or other modern-day eugenics might.
Since I work so heavily with statistics (in specific in healthcare) this didn't even occur to me - its very rare that statistics are so directly explainable, but rather a symptom for which a root cause analysis is necessary. But this completely explains why some folks would be so much on the defensive! Thank you for this insight, it will certainly help me frame things in the future to avoid more conflict and have more productive conversations.