Gaywallet's recent activity
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Comment on Answer Sheet California is overhauling sex education guidance for schools — and religious conservatives don’t like it in ~news
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Comment on What is the size of your smartphone? in ~talk
Gaywallet Link Pixel 2 XL - 6.2" phone I have tiny, feminine hands. I had to use a rooted app to switch the back and swap apps buttons but otherwise I love it.Pixel 2 XL - 6.2" phone
I have tiny, feminine hands.
I had to use a rooted app to switch the back and swap apps buttons but otherwise I love it.
2 votes -
Comment on Mental health support & discussion thread (May 2019 edition) in ~talk
Gaywallet Link Parent Every antidepressant I ever tried I had much worse side effects than they were worth. The only real thing that worked for me was regular vigorous exercise.Every antidepressant I ever tried I had much worse side effects than they were worth. The only real thing that worked for me was regular vigorous exercise.
3 votes -
Comment on Men Cause 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies in ~misc
Gaywallet Link The title alone makes me not want to bother with the article. I guess it's not possible for a man to not want a pregnancy but for the woman to want it? I skimmed through the comments here and it...The title alone makes me not want to bother with the article. I guess it's not possible for a man to not want a pregnancy but for the woman to want it?
I skimmed through the comments here and it seems this is just as reactionary as I imagined. What a shame, as there was a good point to be made here, it was just mangled by emotion.
16 votes -
Comment on Top streamers can be offered $50,000 an hour or more to play new games in ~games
Gaywallet Link I don't watch streamers so I'm not super invested in the advertising/capitalism side, but I'm glad that people are surfacing just how much these people are sometimes getting paid to play their...I don't watch streamers so I'm not super invested in the advertising/capitalism side, but I'm glad that people are surfacing just how much these people are sometimes getting paid to play their games. When top stars like Ninja stick with a game for a long period of time but never disclose that they are being paid what may be upwards of a million dollars (on-top of the money they already get off people watching their stream), it's a bit deceptive.
Now a game company that has the money to do that is probably selling a good product, but it does raise the barrier to entry for truly fantastic but smaller studio games as at some point they may not be able to afford the streamers as this kind of behavior becomes more mainstream.
One nice thing that I have seen is that many of these streamers already make so much money off their fan base that they have made videos talking about how they approach these deals and why they choose to accept or turn them down.
What I'm most worried about are streamers who haven't quite taken off yet, but have enough of a fan pull to be more easily swayed by large buckets of cash and willing to sell out. Without clear guidelines on these platforms (or through some sort of trade union or driven by top streamers) this could get messy.
8 votes -
Comment on Sex Strikes Have a Long and Controversial History as a Tool of Women's Protest in ~misc
Gaywallet Link I really don't know what to think of this. The reasons at the top are all very good argument as to why it seems like not a great idea. However, I also realize that if it caught on broadly enough...I really don't know what to think of this. The reasons at the top are all very good argument as to why it seems like not a great idea. However, I also realize that if it caught on broadly enough it would "convince" some cis het men that they should listen to their female counterparts. But convince is the wrong word, it's more of a reluctance, a reluctance that is built on a foundation of resentment. If you want permanent change, or you want change that isn't accompanied by one party feeling defeated and therefore more likely to act out in other ways (resentment can be ugly), it's probably best to just not.
It just seems like a really poorly thought out idea in the same way that you can't control a populace by taking it over with violence and then expect a peaceful rule. But in this case, the other side isn't exactly playing nice or by the rules either.
6 votes -
Comment on Is there an app for this? Help me fix my terrible security in ~tech
Gaywallet Link Parent Who knows. If another app is working right out the box and accomplishes the same thing, no reason to specifically choose LastPass over something else, TBH.Who knows. If another app is working right out the box and accomplishes the same thing, no reason to specifically choose LastPass over something else, TBH.
1 vote -
Comment on Is there an app for this? Help me fix my terrible security in ~tech
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Comment on U.S. Births Fell To A 32-Year Low In 2018; CDC Says Birthrate Is In Record Slump in ~news
Gaywallet Link Parent There's a big difference between "maybe we'll get into a nuclear war" and "we will all die in 50 years if we don't act now", ignoring all the other points.There's a big difference between "maybe we'll get into a nuclear war" and "we will all die in 50 years if we don't act now", ignoring all the other points.
5 votes -
Comment on U.S. Births Fell To A 32-Year Low In 2018; CDC Says Birthrate Is In Record Slump in ~news
Gaywallet Link Parent What a very financial viewpoint. What about not wanting to bring a child into the hellscape that is our current world? We're still systematically disenfranchising everyone who isn't a straight...What a very financial viewpoint. What about not wanting to bring a child into the hellscape that is our current world? We're still systematically disenfranchising everyone who isn't a straight white male pretty much everywhere in the world, we can't manage to convince the world that we're going to fucking burn up and die within most of our lifetimes if we don't start spending a relatively tiny amount of money on fighting climate change, corporations are becoming increasingly more important than any individuals, politics is a constant fight for basic human rights decades after we won those rights back, and we seem to be headed in the same direction that 1984 predicted ages ago, to name a few non-financial issues with the world.
From a moral standpoint I just can't justify it.
9 votes -
Comment on What's missing from your life? in ~life
Gaywallet Link Parent Oh if they're never returning the favor I could see how that would be quite disheartening. It's kind of depressing to hear but also understandable given the culture. I hope that one of these days...Oh if they're never returning the favor I could see how that would be quite disheartening. It's kind of depressing to hear but also understandable given the culture. I hope that one of these days someone will return the favor, you deserve as much.
1 vote -
Comment on Epic Games Store - Mega Sale - Up to 75% off and $10 off every game $14.99+ in ~games
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Comment on What's missing from your life? in ~life
Gaywallet Link Parent I've found that people default to this kind of behavior just because of how huge cities are, BUT, if you make those acts first to your neighbors, they are often quick to return the favor. Have you...It really just is the small acts of kindness that you do for your neighbors because its the nice thing to do and the small talk with people around you that I miss. It feels really isolating.
I've found that people default to this kind of behavior just because of how huge cities are, BUT, if you make those acts first to your neighbors, they are often quick to return the favor.
Have you tried being the first person to reach out?
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Comment on What's missing from your life? in ~life
Gaywallet Link Parent I think nearly everyone feels this way about dating apps. The reality is that there's zero filter on who can install and use these apps, and the use case for these apps is much more varied than...Dating sites and apps just made me even more jaded and angry with the world.
I think nearly everyone feels this way about dating apps. The reality is that there's zero filter on who can install and use these apps, and the use case for these apps is much more varied than "traditional" methods like speed dating, etc.
I say this as someone who regularly receives several likes a day on the apps that I use (okcupid, bumble, etc.) - these apps fucking suck and people are the worst. I can't even tell you how many times I've matched with someone only for them to ghost me, met up with people who seemed to click and may have even agreed mutually but only ended up ghosting, how much time I've wasted swiping on people only to feel like I'm some shitty commodity where all I'm selling is sex appeal.
Unfortunately it's a numbers game. People can be on these apps for any number of reasons; only some of those reasons will match your reason. Of those people who's reasons match yours, an even smaller amount of those will show mutual interest. Of those people, even less will click. Of those who click, even less will want the same kind of relationship. Of those who want the same kind of relationship, even less will be at the right point in their lives which will match up with yours. And so on, and so forth. It's a grueling slog that is dehumanizing and frankly transactional in nature. I think it's healthy to separate yourself from these apps from time to time and focus on improving yourself and doing things that you find fun.
Your last sentence, however, makes me think there might be a bit of depression popping up, and it might not be a bad idea to go speak with your GP or a therapist if you have one.
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Comment on Is there an app for this? Help me fix my terrible security in ~tech
Gaywallet Link I am very confused here because your solution is a deal breaker?? Perhaps you should look into more why the lastpass app wasn't filling into apps you use? FWIW I use the lastpass app and it can be...I messed around with Last Pass a bit and found it couldn't actually fill in the passwords in the apps I was using so I'd have to manually type them, which is a deal breaker for me.
I currently have a Google Sheet in my Google Drive that contains all my ID/passwords for everything
I am very confused here because your solution is a deal breaker??
Perhaps you should look into more why the lastpass app wasn't filling into apps you use?
FWIW I use the lastpass app and it can be finnicky. Sometimes I have to open lastpass then close/reopen whatever app I want it to fill in data for in order to get it to work. I think it's because most apps on phones get put to "sleep" in the background if they haven't been used recently enough.
5 votes -
Comment on What's missing from your life? in ~life
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Comment on What's missing from your life? in ~life
Gaywallet Link Parent That's sad, but unfortunately a reality of many relationships. I'm glad you had a chance to experience it at least once in your life. I think we all have many differences in this regard. Aha, I...It might just be rose-colored nostalgia. We drifted apart. We both had battles to face in our own lives, and needed to focus on close-proximity things. They had a life to attend to and there wasn't a place for me there.
That's sad, but unfortunately a reality of many relationships. I'm glad you had a chance to experience it at least once in your life.
It's not just how I think, but my behaviors, reactions, moods, perceptions, and other little quirks. How I process the world, I guess you could put it?
I think we all have many differences in this regard.
I don't want to come across as too dismissive or defensive, but "just be authentic" is not really a thing you can comfortably do as an autistic person.
Aha, I had an inkling that this might be the case but was not sure until you came out and said it here.
You are not coming of as dismissive or defensive, and you are absolutely right to point out that this puts you in a unique situation for which normal advice does not neatly apply.
"Masking" is how I function in a western society that has specific expectations for social interaction.
You say function, I say blend in. I think there's a good distinction to be made here. Yes, there are the unfortunate realities that say, to get hired, to work, to interact with the society you will have to blend in to some degree otherwise you will alienate people.
An alternate way of framing my desires is to say, "I want to be around people I feel at ease with." People where things flow without friction. Where I don't feel like I need to contort myself and my behaviors. Where my thoughts aren't constantly turned inwards, meticulously analyzing everything I do and say to make sure I haven't slipped into autie territory.
Yes, this. This is what I am getting at. How do you expect to find people that you are at ease with, if you're constantly contorting yourself and your behavior?
I'm not saying that you need to drop the mask 24/7. In fact, suggesting as such would be entirely insensitive and dismissive of the realities that you face, BUT, if you keep your mask up 24/7 you'll be potentially missing out on finding those people with which you'll be comfortable around because it will be both difficult for others to see who you naturally are just as much as it will be difficult for you to see how others naturally are if they have their masks up.
Attempts like yours frustrate me.
As odd as it is to say, I very much understand. Not from the same lens, but from other lenses in which I've received the same kind of unintentional discrimination.
I want to apologize at this point for implying at any point that I have the solution for you or that I understand what you are going through. It's dismissive and hurtful.
I want to also spend a second to try and clarify what I'm trying to get across with my last message and this one, because as you so aptly stated, "words are only a narrow conduit." My intent with these messages is not necessarily to provide any sort of argument or advice. My only goal is to share my own experiences and take on the world. This take might not mesh with yours and for many reasons cannot and should not apply to your own experiences, but, I'd like to think I've learned a little through my years on this planet and the relationships I've had.
I've heard similar descriptions from other outsider/black sheep groups, such as black folks navigating white societies
I've experienced masking through a similar lens, which is why I mentioned earlier that I have a 'limited' experience with masking. I don't feel this is a fair comparison, because it's really a cultural masking and not a processing masking. I also believe I've experienced a limited amount of process masking in that I suffer from a few mental illnesses (depression and BDD primarily) and it shapes how I process information about the world.
It's been important to me and my relationships to not attempt to hide these feelings and thoughts from others simply because I don't want someone who would push me away when I share them. I know it's not the same, but I believe the same overarching principle applies here for the reasons I stated earlier - if you never expose your true self to people and no one ever exposes their true self to you, it will be exceedingly difficult to find someone who does mesh incredibly well with how you experience the world.
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I don't think you need to cross out this text because it's important to point this kind of stuff out. I've been involuntarily hospitalized for my mental condition and this is a level of disorder that most people do not experience and therefore cannot possibly comprehend.
I read this and it made me profoundly sad, because I realized how shit I am at communicating at times. It upset me that I could have possibly caused someone this level of distress and I want to apologize again because it is insensitive to your reality and it's awful to feel like someone is dismissing who you are and what you have experienced.
Sorry. Right now you are an avatar for every person I've made attempts to confide in, and every brick wall I've metaphorically run head-first into.
I just hope it helped to write this down and vent a little.
5 votes -
Comment on What's going on with alyaza and DearDeer? in ~tildes
Gaywallet Link Parent I think there's a lot of reasons one might ignore capitalization or punctuation and to try and figure out why across an entire population is foolish. If I'm typing on mobile, it takes a lot more...I think there's a lot of reasons one might ignore capitalization or punctuation and to try and figure out why across an entire population is foolish.
- If I'm typing on mobile, it takes a lot more time to capitalize and add punctuation. My phone automatically adds capitalization in certain circumstances, so I leave those there, but I'm not going to go out of my way to fix incorrect grammar when the message is still the same.
- Sometimes people are pressed for time, or simply do not care to put as much effort into a response for any number of reasons. In this case they may omit capitalization and proper grammar.
- If the same message comes across, why do you care so much about how it is presented? To me, this is akin to looking a gift horse in the mouth - it's rude and dismissive and the reality is that someone who doesn't act like you do might be able to provide a seriously different viewpoint which is extremely valuable.
- English is not their first language.
- They are specifically doing it because they know it annoys you and others on the internet and they want to be contrarian.
- They do not agree with the level to which you find this important, and think that the underlying message is more important.
Honestly I could sit here and think of ideas all day, but the real question you should be asking yourself is why are you so annoyed by it? The amount of extra effort you have to put into reading something which is otherwise formatted correctly but not punctuated or capitalized correctly is insignificant when compared to how much effort you're actively spending on reading and replying on the internet (perhaps adds an extra few seconds to your activity) - such a strong response to such a minor issue seems rather odd.
2 votes -
Comment on What's going on with alyaza and DearDeer? in ~tildes
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Comment on What's going on with alyaza and DearDeer? in ~tildes
When have religious conservatives ever liked knowledge that goes against their God's "teachings"? Honestly I'm a bit disappointed in California for letting anyone have the option of opting out. We took a harder stance on vaccinations, requiring them to go to school. I think we need to start taking education seriously and make sexual education mandatory for all students. This is important for the population's mental health and sex and gender are important parts of life that we are all exposed to and participate to some degree in.